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Old 07-27-2006, 07:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
JamesB's Avatar
Location: Ottawa
Advice needed: Meeting single girls

Hey gang!

Wow .. it has been almost a _year_ since I was last here .. feels like a lifetime now. Just wanted to take a second and say hi to everyone again!

Ok, so now for the real topic of my post. Once again I am single. I have a close circle of friends but they are all useless in terms of the 'networking' aspect.

This sounds really lame any time you read it .. and it feels just as lame asking .. but here it goes:

What suggestions do you guys/gals have for me to help me get out and just meet new people? I am sorta running out of ideas.
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Old 07-27-2006, 08:55 AM   #2 (permalink)
Crack's Avatar
Location: Ohio! yay!
Church! Not into the whole god thing?

Hmmm.. any friends have any little sisters that are coming up in the world? (18 years old)

How about bars? Not your scene?

Take a class or something at a local community college! no?

Randomly ask girls on the street? Walk away if they say yes, but only for $10

Work? Office romance is usually a bad idea all around, but if you are hard up... what the hey.

www.adultfriendfinder.com? NSFW, and they probably just want your money.

The best advice I can give you is, don't be afraid to talk to a girl. The biggest hurdle most people have is the first step. That first awkard conversation where you want her to know that you like her, but trying not to come off as the crazy-stalker-keeps-her-in-a-pit-in-the-basement kinda guy. Unless that's what she is into... And quit looking. 9 times out of 10 you will find someone when you arn't going crazy looking for company.

But what the hell do I know? Nothing. No one does. There is no advice anyone can give that will work for you.

Be Friendly, say hi, don't act, actually be interested. It's far more important than being interesting.
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

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Old 07-27-2006, 09:02 AM   #3 (permalink)
MexicanOnABike's Avatar
Location: up north
have you tried internet dating? check out bars/pubs? try personals ads in the news paper? i'm sure someone else can give you more ideas.

edit: like crack said, if you're under 25, then you could check out the colleges and universities. they're packed with girls!
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Old 07-27-2006, 09:27 AM   #4 (permalink)
ngdawg's Avatar
Location: on the back, bitch
Join an organization. Any interest you might think of has an organization that probably meets regularly-car clubs, bike clubs, book clubs, etc.
Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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Old 07-27-2006, 10:06 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Chicago
Volunteer for something. I was just trying to give something back to the community and met my wife pretty much by mistake at a party for volunteers.
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
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Old 07-28-2006, 12:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
JamesB's Avatar
Location: Ottawa
Great ideas guys/gals!

I am trying the whole internet dating thing .. I'm on LavaLife now .. and wanted to see if anybody had any success with these such sites.

My main intention is really just to meet new people - preferrably 'unattached' so that the oppportunities may be better.

I know its just a matter of time .. and that if you look - you will certainly find someone .. but likely the wrong person.

.. its just that damn time aspect =)~

PS: Any hot single women want to stand-in as a G/F for a while?! LOL ... please do NOT think I am actually serious ...

ok, maybe 0.1% serious ... but still
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Old 07-28-2006, 06:01 PM   #7 (permalink)
Stalk hot girls you've seen around town through myspace, worked for me.
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Old 07-28-2006, 06:02 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Destrox's Avatar
Location: Phoenix
What worked best for me? Make friends with multiple girls FIRST. Then network with them once they know you , which gives you a shoe in from their good word. That is assuming you're a good guy.
You bore me.... next.
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
Location: Chicago
Put some nice bling on your ride and drive around town real slow playing some Coolio on your system. I guarantee you the honeys will be all up in your ride or I'll refund the price of the Coolio cassette.

I'm not really positive this will work.
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
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Old 07-29-2006, 12:38 PM   #10 (permalink)
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oberon's Avatar
Location: Denver
Originally Posted by JumpinJesus
I'm not really positive this will work.
You mean... that's not how you bagged shesus?

To the OP:
I've tried using Craigslist.. had a few dates... but it only slightly improves the odds of finding someone "compatible".
"There are finer fish in the sea than have ever been caught." -- Irish proverb
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Old 07-29-2006, 11:53 PM   #11 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
la petite moi's Avatar
Location: California
Hey, you should try: http://www.okcupid.com !

I haven't met anyone for a relationship on there, but I have made a couple good friends.
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Old 07-30-2006, 04:09 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: Michigan
Match.com and Yahoo Personals are pricey, around $20 a month.
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Old 07-30-2006, 09:13 AM   #13 (permalink)
Val_1's Avatar
Location: In a State of Denial
I've met a few people on myspace and one on okcupid.com. No sparks with any of them, but I made some friends. Other than that, I have a hard time meeting people in the real world. I think most people do. I always ask people where they met their SO. Church is a big answer. Though, I don't go to church, so that doesn't work for me.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

-Frank Sinatra
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Old 07-30-2006, 10:43 AM   #14 (permalink)
ooh! i know! i know!

i've got a method of meeting people that rocketh. check it out:

got an interest? anything that interests you and that you enjoy (your deviant sexual inclinations excepted, unfortunately) and that might conceivably interest some members of the Female species too is fair game. like i'm a photographer. you may be into cooking or reading or stamp collecting or kats or science or whatever.

so what you do is decide which of your interests you'd like to get more into, with other people, then you go to http://www.meetup.com/ and search for groups catering to that interest in your geographical area. then you join one or two. and finally - and this step is absolutely essential; if you don't do this, my Cunning Plan won't work - you attend that group's meetups. and you *will* meet Girls. i promise. and some of them will probably even be cute and funny and interesting and stuff. and you and they will all share a common interest, something to talk about that you enjoy talking about, and you and said Females won't be under any pressure to take your personal connections in any particular direction. you can do nothing together for the rest of your lives except discuss geological formations, or you can dive into bed together the night you meet, or (the most likely option), something in between, and whichever happens will be comfortable because there's no agenda...you're just doing what comes naturally. it's very great.

i'd been a very solitary creature for a long time, living in a place i didn't particularly like nor fit into, and i didn't think there was anybody here i was even *interested* in meeting. but after a few years of this i decided i just had to get off my tail and start meeting people. so meetup.com occurred to me (i'd been a member years before but wasn't sure of my interests and never really did anything with it) and joined a couple of local photography groups and started going out shooting with them and i met interesting, attractive Women the very first time, and a Woman i adore the very second time. i was wandering around shooting in a beautiful arboretum with this great, fun group for about half an hour when a Woman walked up an joined us - a late arrival - and i felt glad to see Her even though i'd never seen Her before. and i'm shy so i didn't say much to Her right off, but i did kind of hover around Her and try to prevent Her from getting separated from the rest of the group (She was staying behind to photograph things while the group moved on ahead) and She wound up striking up conversation with me - we had photography to talk about right from the start - and everything just rollled very naturally from there. i adore Her and spend lots of time with Her, doing all kinds of fun things. and She's local! i don't need a plane ticket to go see Her!

that's what's so great about meeting people this way. the localness and the something-to-talk-about are built right in. all you have to do is go and it *will* happen.

good luck, and have fun!

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Old 07-30-2006, 12:26 PM   #15 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
raeanna74's Avatar
Location: Upper Michigan
Originally Posted by Crack
www.adultfriendfinder.com? NSFW, and they probably just want your money...
I didn't pay much attention to the singles on this site but it's a popular hookup site for swingers. I'm not aware of many people on there who aren't looking for casual sex. If that's what you want though, might be a fun place to start.

Are there any community groups you might enjoy?? Art Association, Yoga classes, Atheletic clubs, volunteer jobs like Habitat, or garden association (in our town they care for the floral decorations in town) or volunteer at the library. Join a reading group.

What kinds of things do you like? That might helps us come up with more ideas for you. Get out and have fun. It's funny, when I decide I'm not going to be looking for someone I happen to run into someone I enjoy and things progress naturally. When I'm on the hunt I get disappointed more often.
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
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Old 07-30-2006, 01:57 PM   #16 (permalink)
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genuinegirly's Avatar
Super Moderator
Location: Arabidopsis-ville
Plaintiger has a great idea there!

I would personally start by looking around you in your daily life, and seeing if there is someone of any interest. Maybe the barrista at your local cofffee shop, or the waitress at your favorite restaurant. Show up in the off hours, become a regular, they'll learn your name. Then you wouldn't have as many difficulties asking them out.

Good Luck!
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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Old 07-30-2006, 09:36 PM   #17 (permalink)
Location: Calgary
I dunnow, I have the same sort of problem.. (although I am in uni now) 25, know enough people, but yeah, how to find those singles, and when you do, how to ask them out...
but yeah, most of the people I've met have been in clubs or through class... get involved, join something
The truth is, wherever you choose to be, it's the wrong place.
Chuck Palahniuk , Diary
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advice, girls, meeting, needed, single

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