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Old 04-20-2003, 08:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
pow!
 
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Location: NorCal
Insano Arizona Toilet

This is a special shout out to the person who is responsible for the toilets at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. Please, recalibrate the auto-flush sensors. I was trying to lighten my load on one of your fine, high-tech porcelain beauties last week. Every time I shifted position the dang thing flushed.

Iím sure you are aware that you have the flushing mechanism set all the way to the max; and normally this is a good thing. We both know what a bummer it is to find leftovers in the bowl. Your plumbing masterpieces are serious, industrial-grade machines. You should be proud of them, because when they flush, they FLUSH. Itís a raging torrent of wind and water down there, and Iím sure it does a Hell of a job.

But when I was sitting on it, every time I so much as breathed the thing went off. That hurricane-force flush is rather unpleasant when itís raging almost nonstop just below my crotch.

Seriously, it was like a toilet-bowl version of A Perfect Storm and my balls were playing the part of the Andrea Gail.
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Old 04-20-2003, 09:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
.
 
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Location: Tokyo
haha.
this gives a new meaning to the saying... for a nice surprise, pull the chain before you rise.
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Old 04-21-2003, 05:16 AM   #3 (permalink)
Squid
 
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Location: USS George Washington
On the doors to the stalls in the head on our last ship, we had this sign:

"Flush slow, you're good to go. Flush fast, get a wet ass."

And that was seawater in those commodes.

-Mikey
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Old 04-21-2003, 05:26 AM   #4 (permalink)
Right Now
 
Location: Home
Funny! Are you sure it wasn't a combo bidet? :-)
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Old 04-21-2003, 05:27 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Pa, USA
That is some comedy gold right there.

What a way to start off my morning.
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Old 05-11-2008, 08:55 AM   #6 (permalink)
<3 TFP
 
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Location: 17TLH2445607250
Disturbing...
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Old 05-11-2008, 09:51 AM   #7 (permalink)
More Than You Expect
 
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Location: Queens
Awesome story Clavus - I always love your anecdotes but you totally owe me $7 for my now unpalatable chicken and broccoli. I should've known that any thread with the word toilet in the title isn't safe to read while eating.
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Old 05-11-2008, 11:07 AM   #8 (permalink)
I read your emails.
 
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Location: earth
haha, great stuff!!!
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Old 05-11-2008, 03:10 PM   #9 (permalink)
Crazy
 
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Location: Swamp Lagoon, North Cackalacky
I'm so in touch with this emotion, because the toilets in the SNCO barracks here are also industrial-strength, hurricane-powered jobs.

I always feel a little guilty if I get up for a 3am piss call, because I'm sure you can hear it flush in any room adjoining mine across all three floors. But OTOH, I haven't seen any skidmarks whatsover in two years of living here.

If they had auto-sensors like that, though, I think I'd probably wind up offing myself before Base Maintenance got around to fixing it...
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Old 05-11-2008, 04:23 PM   #10 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
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Location: Lion City
The toilets in my new office are auto-flush and I have the same problem.

They need to include towels in the stalls so I can dry off before exiting.
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Old 05-11-2008, 06:17 PM   #11 (permalink)
Let's put a smile on that face
 
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Location: On the road...
Wow, old thread. And yea I think this must be all auto flushing toilets. I hate the things. The best toilets that I have found are the one with the flush button on the floor that you step on. No need to touch anything gross that way, and no wet ass/balls.
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Old 05-11-2008, 06:40 PM   #12 (permalink)
zomgomgomgomgomgomg
 
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Location: Fauxenix, Azerona
For some reason the autoflush toilet at my old work couldn't see black very well, so if you had a black shirt on, it would flush wildly every time you moved.
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Old 05-12-2008, 06:59 AM   #13 (permalink)
Baffled
 
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Location: West Michigan
Great way to start my day, cracking up with an old Clavus thread. The first time I ever used an auto-flush toilet was in 2004 in the Amsterdam airport on our way to South Africa. It was also turbo charged, I could feel a mist on my ass as I stood up. Almost scared the shit outta me.
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