| ShaniFaye |
07-24-2007 03:47 PM |
oh man....I have loved WWN since I was, gosh I dont even remember how young I was when I started reading it lol
this weeks story hits home considering the problem Im having being attacked inside my own home, especially when Im asleep, by mosquitoes
Quote:
The Most Irresistible Woman On Earth — to Mosquitoes!
By Terrance Orrance
SOUTHAMPTON, N.Y. — As dusk settles on a secluded Long Island beach and bartenders and waiters set up for another of the high-profile benefit parties that dot the summer social calendar, a dumpy, five-foot-four woman in a sleeveless, black tank top and short, black skirt is the first guest to arrive. Her name is Denise Frank and she is the Hamptons’ newest celebrity.
“I wouldn’t dream of giving a beach party without Denise!” said Muffy Lawrence, one of the event’s organizers. “She’s more effective than DEET or citronella.”
Frank, twenty, is a lightning rod for mosquitoes. “They love me!” she said. “They prefer me to anyone else.”
Frank discovered her attractiveness to mosquitoes as a toddler when she was playing in a sandbox and came home covered with red welts, even though none of her friends got bitten. For years, Frank tried to avoid mosquitoes.
“I stayed away from stagnant ponds, puddles, tropical environments and beaches — particularly at dawn and dusk,” Frank said. “But after my high school prom, everyone went to the beach and the party went on till sunrise.”
At dawn the mosquitoes came out, and Frank, once again, was bitten. Everyone else escaped.
With no college plans, Frank was looking for something to do when one of her friends jokingly suggested she hire herself out for al fresco parties. Her first gig brought her $100 for a night’s work. Now she has formed a business called Mosquito Gal and charges $150 an hour.
“All I do is go to parties and wait for the mosquitoes to bite,” she said. “Then I go home and take antihistamines to reduce the itch and swelling so I can get ready for the next party.”
Even with antihistamines, Frank can only do three parties a week — far less than the demand for her services.
“I’m hiring,” she said. “I’m looking for a couple of people who are attractive to mosquitoes. They’ll have to pass an employment test, which is to visit a swamp with me and see what happens. If mosquitoes go for them, they’re hired.”
Though Mosquito Gal is an equal-opportunity employer, Frank said that she would prefer to hire women because they can wear skimpy, open clothing to parties and expose more skin.
After the summer social season winds down, Frank is planning a vacation. “I’m going to the Yukon,” she said.
However, after buying her non-refundable tickets, Frank learned from one of her clients that the Yukon has large, biting flies.
“If they’re drawn to me,” Frank said philosophically, “maybe I’ll open a branch office.”
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http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/ |
