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Old 12-20-2007, 05:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Location: ❤
out of the mouths of babes

Children do say the darndest things.
All you parents, siblings, aunties, uncles, grandparents, friends of
child-like wonder, I ask you to share.

My cousin could not wrap his tongue around his sisters name Elizabeth.
She has since been known as 'lizard breath'

I was 7 years old and my mother kept telling me to behave. I announced
to her that I was ' bein have'

I have a friend who could not figure out for the longest time what his
daughter meant when she screeched about 'arm bubbles'
(turns out she was freaked by armidillos)

This is fun.
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Old 12-20-2007, 05:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
Eponymous
 
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Location: Central Central Florida
I remember my first daughter's pre-school Christmas Pageant. She was so excited to be singing a solo of Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer. She came home so full of pride, wanting to sing it to me "... then one froggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say ... " She was a hit in the show!

We never corrected her because we thought it was so damned cute. She would always let us know when she looked out her window and saw it was froggy outside. At least 'til she was maybe 6 or 7.
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Old 12-20-2007, 06:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Beeeeeautiful Bel Air, MD
Quote:
Originally Posted by ring
Children do say the darndest things.
All you parents, siblings, aunties, uncles, grandparents, friends of
child-like wonder, I ask you to share.

My cousin could not wrap his tongue around his sisters name Elizabeth.
She has since been known as 'lizard breath'

I was 7 years old and my mother kept telling me to behave. I announced
to her that I was ' bein have'

I have a friend who could not figure out for the longest time what his
daughter meant when she screeched about 'arm bubbles'
(turns out she was freaked by armidillos)

This is fun.
My sister's best friend growing up used to say "bein' have" all the time. We still joke about it today.
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Old 12-20-2007, 07:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
peekaboo
 
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Location: on the back, bitch
Trying to get my baby brother to know how to spell his name:

Us older siblings: "P"
Him: "P"
Us: "A"
Him: "A"
Us: "U"
Him: "Me"
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Old 12-20-2007, 07:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
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Willravel: "Does it have legs?"
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Old 12-20-2007, 07:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 
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Location: Charleston, SC
Well my daughter can only say a few words being that she is only 11 months but she did something pretty funny today.

They were cutting down a large tree in the neighbors yard and all we heard was chainsaws, really loud, all day long.

So my daughter was crawling around going "RRRRRR" "RRRRRRR" every time the chainsaw would fire up. She sounded just like it!! It was so cute.
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Old 12-20-2007, 08:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A
I think this one is pretty common: when I was younger (~5-6) I couldn't say cinnamon so I said cimanin (cimmanim?)....

My mom would tell my brother to quit talking like a baby and he's say "Okay" in the deepest voice he could manage...

My brother and I were swimming at the lake with a bunch of my cousins and it started to rain. He started yelling at me to "get outta the water, you're gonna get wet"...

I thought of some my sister said:

When she was just starting to speak, she would sing Toby Keith's "Getcha Some" and Shania Twain's "Man, I Feel Like a Woman"

At about the same time, when my mom would get ready to go shopping she'd say "Got list, got purse, got keys....", so after a while my sis would say "got list, got purse, got keys..." whenever they would get ready to go somewhere.
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Last edited by Eweser; 12-20-2007 at 08:25 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 12-20-2007, 08:58 PM   #8 (permalink)
part of the problem
 
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Location: hic et ubique
in the summer, my daughter who was sweating behind her knees told us her legpits were sweaty.
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Old 12-20-2007, 10:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
Delusional... but in a funny way
 
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Location: deeee-TROIT!!!
Upon seeing me change my son's diaper my friend's 3-year-old little girl says, "Mommy, he's different..." (whispering and pointing) "...down there."

A few minutes later he's chasing her down, trying to give her a hug. She's screaming, "Get off of meeeeeeeee!!!!!! You have cooties!!!!"

Again, changing Pookie's diaper. He points down and says "Penis!" then points to my crotch and says, "Penis!" I say, "No, honey, Mommies don't have penises, they have vaginas." He spent the next 10 minutes chanting "Va-China! Va-China! Va-China!" How cute.
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Old 12-21-2007, 06:34 AM   #10 (permalink)
part of the problem
 
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Location: hic et ubique
Quote:
Originally Posted by TotalMILF
........ He spent the next 10 minutes chanting "Va-China! Va-China! Va-China!" How cute.
kids are lucky. when i chant that, i get slapped.
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Old 12-21-2007, 07:08 AM   #11 (permalink)
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At 3 years old, my son called elevators "alligators". Also, he wanted to go out to eat at the "restanaut" (rhymes with "astronaut").
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Old 12-21-2007, 08:02 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: Angloland
My sister always used to call the pharmacy the paramackey.

Then again i called my dad woger for years, bloody r's.
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Old 12-21-2007, 08:33 AM   #13 (permalink)
is a tiger
 
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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevie667

Then again i called my dad woger for years, bloody r's.
I couldn't pronounce the interdental fricative ("th" sound) for the longest time. So i used the labiodental fricative ("f" sound) to replace it.
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Old 12-21-2007, 09:00 AM   #14 (permalink)
Insane
 
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When my little sister (now 26) was about 9 yrs old she spent a week asking my mom if she could go get the mail. Each day not thinking of it my mother sent her to the box to bring back the mail. At the end of the week my lil sis was pouting on the front stoop and I asked her what was wrong. She replied my period still hasn't come. I said what?!?!?! She said: I have been checking the mail all week and my period still hasn't come yet, I’m never gonna get it.

Turns out she had heard us older girls say things like: My period should be here any day now, so she naturally assumed that her period would be delivered in the mail. Ahhhh the innocence of children!

Quote:
Originally Posted by squeeeb
in the summer, my daughter who was sweating behind her knees told us her legpits were sweaty.

Awesome! I'm gonna use that.
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Last edited by savmesom11; 12-21-2007 at 09:03 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 12-21-2007, 10:09 AM   #15 (permalink)
who ever said streaking was a bad thing?
 
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Location: Calgary
I could never pronounce grandma.... so I'd say namma

Also, when my brother got meningitis, and he was learning how to speak again, he got fire truck confused with... well...
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Old 12-21-2007, 11:10 AM   #16 (permalink)
Upright
 
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When I was little, I couldn't say "tr." I replaced it with "fr." This lead to to some interesting situations for my parents when I wanted to scream about a "truck" at the top of my lungs.

My mom still gives me a hard time about it to this day.
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Old 12-24-2007, 02:20 PM   #17 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Toronto
I don't know if this is true or not, but, I remember getting this email once about a mother and her 5 year old daughter who were waiting in line at a bank.

The kid was getting all cranky and wanted to go and the mother was getting exasperated with the child to the point where the mother threatened her with something like, "if you don't behave yourself, we're not going for ice cream, instead you're going home to bed"

To which the 5 year old put her hands on her hips and shouted back at the mother, "well then, I'm to going to tell grandma that I saw you kissing daddy's pee pee yesterday"

The mother apparently turns beet red and grabs the kid and drags her out of the bank to peels of laughter from the tellers.
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Old 12-25-2007, 09:44 PM   #18 (permalink)
Crazy
 
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Location: everywhere and nowhere
i'm 22 and i still say stupid shit
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Old 12-26-2007, 05:39 AM   #19 (permalink)
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What an odd thread. People are censoring themselves when recalling accidental utterances from their youth.

How very puritanical of you. *shudders*
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Old 01-07-2008, 10:17 AM   #20 (permalink)
But You'll Never Prove It.
 
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Location: under your bed
Ok. One not quite so pure.

About 3 weeks ago. Hubby and I climbed out of bed and got dressed after our nice 'nap.' I looked up to see our 8 year old daughter standing in the doorway, looking her eyes so wide I was sure her eyeballs would pop out. I was hoping she was just shocked that she walked in on us dressing...that she hadn't actually witnessed our "nap."

Later in the evening, she asked me casually, "Mom, why do dogs hump? I mean, are they counting the babies with each hump?"
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Old 01-07-2008, 11:22 AM   #21 (permalink)
Here
 
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Location: Denver City Denver
Hickalopter = Helicopter

Pedalestrian = Pedestrian


And I still say 'em that way to this day...
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Old 01-07-2008, 12:36 PM   #22 (permalink)
But You'll Never Prove It.
 
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Location: under your bed
I said bisketti for spaghetti.
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Old 01-07-2008, 06:14 PM   #23 (permalink)
Junkie
 
I always said tomato for tornado when I was a kid.
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Old 01-07-2008, 06:37 PM   #24 (permalink)
 
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Location: ❤
My cousin called farts..plitters.
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Old 01-13-2008, 07:05 PM   #25 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Vancouver Island BC
hockey doctor = helicopter
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Old 01-13-2008, 07:49 PM   #26 (permalink)
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My sister couldn't say the L's very well so when I was born she just called me Ona, my family still calls me that to this day and I'm 24.

My nephew doesn't say R's at the end of words so he has Tractie's instead of tractors and we go to the Rivey instead of River. It's so darn cute!
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Old 01-13-2008, 08:13 PM   #27 (permalink)
Upright
 
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My two year old decided it would be fun to yell out Cah Cah in the middle of the restaurant. That was fun.
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Old 01-13-2008, 11:30 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Location: here&there
Mother and cute little daughter after church service going through the line shaking the preachers hand, Preacher says to daughter, "What a pretty dress you have on" daughter says, "yeah, but mommy says it's a bitch to iron".
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Old 01-13-2008, 11:44 PM   #29 (permalink)
Human
 
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Location: Chicago
I was about 9 years old and my brothers were about 18 and 20. The 18 year old brother had been dating his girlfriend (and now ex-wife) for about a year at that time, and she was tall, thin, blonde, and a swimmer. The 20 year old was in a relatively new relationship with what is now his wife. She was short and somewhat overweight. So, he brings her home for dinner with my parents for the first time and I, being the stupid nine year old I was, say "she's not as pretty as (insert 18 year old's girlfriend's name here)."

Honestly, I don't remember saying this at all, but everyone else tells me that I did so I must have. I'm pretty sure they've gotten over it, but my brother still teases me about it occasionally. At least, I hope it's just teasing!
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Old 07-19-2009, 11:07 AM   #30 (permalink)
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we go to the emergency room at the hopsicle
My mom is known as MiMiDee because the oldest granddaughter (my niece) couldnt say gramma dee
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Old 07-19-2009, 11:12 AM   #31 (permalink)
Forming
 
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Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.
Me running through the grocery store at 3 or so: "I want ass cream!"

I truly wanted ice cream...
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Old 07-19-2009, 11:59 AM   #32 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
As told to us by my mom...
My brother and I (who's a year older than me) were 3 and 4 when we were told by our mom that our penises were called "pickles", after we became fascinated by them one day.
We'd run around just saying "pickle this, pickle that", while usually naked.

One day in church, we were about to fall asleep from boredom, when the pastor starts talking about the Summer picnic coming up.
He mentions the different foods he's looking forward to, and when he gets to pickles, my brother and I perk right up!
We look like we're taking a breath to shout out about our favorite thing in the world.
Our parents each clamped a mouth just in time.
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Old 07-20-2009, 04:26 PM   #33 (permalink)
...is a comical chap
 
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Location: Where morons reign supreme
My son use to call a helicopter a "woolahopter". Funny as hell.

Just the other day I was talking to my husband about work and he was listening in. After I stopped talking to my husband, he asked me what a "pubicle" is.
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Old 07-20-2009, 04:32 PM   #34 (permalink)
part of the problem
 
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Location: hic et ubique
when my daughter was wee, it was a hot summer, she was sitting in the car, the skin behind her knees was hot, and she said "my leg pits are sweaty."
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Old 07-20-2009, 06:56 PM   #35 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: Massachusetts
My four-year old son comes up to me and says, "Mama, do you know what I'm doing when you're not looking?"
"No, I don't know what you're doing when I'm not looking."
"I'm doing *this*!" And he proceeds to manipulate his junk with great dexterity and enthusiasm to the point I was afraid he'd pull it off.
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Old 07-20-2009, 07:03 PM   #36 (permalink)
I have eaten the slaw
 
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Shaindra, I laughed so hard tears streamed down my face.
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Old 07-21-2009, 06:16 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Location: New England
My friend's son was having trouble with certain consonants, but enjoyed reading out loud. He loved "big vehicle" books, which contained a lot of dumptrucks. Now, the word "dumptruck" can be a problem if your 'tr's come out as 'f's, and the 'p' gets missed entirely.
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Old 07-21-2009, 08:17 AM   #38 (permalink)
Baffled
 
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Location: West Michigan
When I was 14 and quite shy, I was sitting on the front porch with my new, first boyfriend. My little sister was 9 and to this day doesn't know why she did this except probably just to be a brat. She opened her bedroom window, yelled "Ali uses tampons!!", and slammed it back shut. I'm not much of a blusher but I'm sure I looked like a lobster at that moment and wanted to kill her for much longer! It's funny to us now.

Shaindra, your post about your son and his junk instantly brought to mind comedian Jo Koy and his bit about his son's "Ting Ting". It's one of the funniest bit's I've ever seen (hell, that whole show is hilarious!).

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Old 07-21-2009, 09:54 AM   #39 (permalink)
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My four year old would instead of saying gatorade. He'd say graygray. Thought that was cute.
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Old 07-21-2009, 01:59 PM   #40 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Starbuck might always be known as E E in and near my former house.
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