Klingon, Romulan, or Ferengi?
 

I'm starting this thread here to generate a bit of traffic first, then I'll probably move it to Entertainment.

So, on with it: You wake up tomorrow to find you've been afflicted with a horrible disfigurement. You have your choice, though, because Karma isn't that harsh yet.

Which do you choose? The Klingon forehead, the Romulan haircut (not so fast, the hair cannot be cut or styled, it's stronger than steel this haircut is, so no combing, either), or the Ferengi ears?

You must explain your choice as well.

Oh, yeah. Klingons suck!

I take the Romulan haircut.

The Romulan haircut comes with pointy ears. I'll consider that an acceptable tradeoff.

Romulan hair. I would rather not have a severe deformity for my ears or forehead, whereas a haircut in poor style would draw less attention and affect me less. The bonus of steel strength would also open up headbutts if I were to find myself in a fight. :D

but remember, Ferengi ears are sexual organs.

Yeah, I'm not interested in wearing my sexual organs on my head.

Agreed. I'd go for the haircut. No matter how strong the hair is, you can always wear a wig...

Klingon women? Too bold of a complexion for my taste.
http://blog.wired.com/tableofmalcont.../klingon_1.jpg

Female ferengi do have smaller ear lobes than the males, as evidenced here in Quark's mother Iska.
http://dlennis.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/ferengi1.jpg

Commander Sela didn't have terrible hair, though she was only half Romulan, since Tasha Yar was her mom. Maybe her hair is only half-steel. I'll risk it and take her hair.
http://www.stockholmtrekkers.a.se/im...manderSela.jpg

Klingon all the way baby. Nothing says bad-ass like crown ridges and saggital crests. Hey if you're going to geek out, might as well go all the way. The Romulan thing is too pussy for my taste.

K'plah!!

Amen brother!

K'plah!!

Ferengi are pathetic worms and Romulans are just pussy Vulcans with attitude.

K'plah!!

I'll take the Klingon forehead and give a forehead smash to anybody who laughs.

Forhead, and then i will become emporer of klingon nerds everywhere!

Muwahahaha!

They're not, they're just erogenous zones. All the bits are in the same place as us.

K'plah

I highly dislike the Romulans, never could stand the ferengi (mostly the teeth though I'm not a fan of the ears either).

Also, the parallels between Klingon history and Dwarven history in Warhammer are too strong to ignore, and I really like the dwarves as well.

what the hell is a klingon?

Is it bad that this thread just taught me what a ferengi is?

.. I was hoping for photo examples of the choices because the only phrase I recognized was Klingon.

Genuinegirl gave pretty good photo examples.

................................

I don't know what K'plah means, but I'll go with Klingon too.

They're pretty badass.

Death isn't an option?

I would prefer the Klingon forehead if it comes with a raptor.

/nerd

/nerd

Fuck, it isn't working.

Why only those three choices? I wanna be a Cardassian. :p

And I wanted to be an Andorian...
http://www.scifispace.com/duplicate1/andorian1b.jpg


Regarding the OP question: I would choose Romulan.
Who needs it cut or styled? It's already perfect.

Yes, that's bad.

Your death would have no honor. You wouldn't join your noble ancestors in Sto-vo-kor.

Holy CRAP I'm a nerd.

Thank you for proving why we need an award that JumpinJesus suggested just a LITTLE too late to the rest of the staff: Tilted Geek or Tilted Nerd. I think that the recipient would most likely view it as a badge of honor.

Perhaps next month.

Her second photo didn't work.. but I was looking for it in the OP. Oh well. :orly:

Yes, but it's soo hot. Rawr. Nothing I like more than a guy who knows his Trek.

I would hang myself if I woke up with either of those. Now if I would have to wear Darth Vader helmet or have Darth Maul eyes, then we'll talk.

I'd probably want to look like a Klingon, because no one would mess with me if I looked like that.

Oh, and Klingon women are hawt.

I thought about going Klingon simply because 1) they always wear these outfits where they have super-hot cleavage and 2) they get away with being huge bitches. I could go for that. The bad teeth...not so much. I wonder if the Klingons have ever heard of orthodontics.

Silly Snowy. Everyone knows the Klingons are decended from the English.

jIH HochHom tlhIngan Quch 'oH 'oH HochHom vo' Hoch Sovta' Daq Romulans 'ejFerengi

So, ya, Klingon foreheads for me

So... Klingons descended from England.

EDIT: The Jazz beat me to it, because I was pondering the appropriateness of saying I wanted to be Kardassian and that I would SO fuck my sister.

I decided the ew factor was too high and that people might lose respect for me. Now I realize they never should have had it in the first place.

So there it is.

Impossible. The English are too squeamish.

I fixed the photo that wasn't working - now everyone like Hal and merleniau who don't have a quick mental image of super common Star Trek aliens can make an informed decision.

Those are the ones that stayed behind and proved to be the diversion in the species. That and the irrational Klingon fear of umbrellas.

And you say this knowing a standard Romulan hairstyle? http://www.liberalrapture.com/upload...lan-789281.jpg

Ah. That makes more sense.

Ok....I know what a Klingon is. But what's a Romulan, a Vulcan, or a Ferengi. I see a bunch of pictures up there and I can't tell which is which....

Romulan:
http://www.liberalrapture.com/upload...lan-789281.jpg

Vulcan (not an option given by the OP):
http://members.aol.com/gamzemenali/private/vulcan.gif

Ferengi:
http://www.crypticcomet.com/blog/wp-..._highlight.jpg

Clear enough for you, KellyC?

Much better, thank. :D
The Romulan the Vulcan look kinda similar.

You wouldn't say that if you'd ever heard Shakespeare in the original Klingon!

Yeah, there's just something about a woman who hurls heavy objects at you and then bites your face...

Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly.....

(sorry I liked that song)


They do look familiar because they are related. One's a Hot Blooded branch, whilst the others have adopted a Cold as Ice approach to life. Common origins, different stylists.

I'm gonna wiki Star Trek so I can "nerd up." I seriously thought I was a nerd up until this thread. It shows me a whole new level of nerdism.



What song is that by the way?

just because I know Secret is gonna ask..

where is the Wil Wheaton category!?!?!?!

mmmmmmmm he is super nummy. Which way would you part your hair?

Young Wil Wheaton
*This image removed because he is probably under 18 at the time the photo was taken. Replaced with this link to the back-stage image* http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/photos...ddenisetng.jpg
Older
http://www.bbspot.com/Images/News_Fe...08/wheaton.jpg
Older
http://www.nickdenton.org/blogallery/Wil%20Wheaton.jpg
Relatively current, posing as Riker
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3132/...fee7a430_o.jpg

Will Wheaton is a cool dude, Met him last year at PAX, he's really a down to earth guy, and yeah, he's a "man" now but he'll forever be immortalized by his role in that show.

That's because they're descended from a common ancestor--they just went very very different directions.

EDIT: I guess Leto already answered this question...missed the second page.

And somewhere I still have some BOP magazines from the late 80s with Wil Wheaton posters, lol.

So, why is it assumed that because the standard romulan military hair cut looks like shit it's an immutable feature or the race? Could be they have some kick ass hair cuts back on the home world.

And if I had to go wit one of the choices give, I'll take the forehead of doom, though I would rather go all out with a borg eye laser thing. total bad ass

Didn't Wil Wheaton do gay porn after TNG?

No, you're thinking of the kid from The Toy (with Richard Pryor). He also played Flick in "A Christmas Story".

That's right.

I love how the two of you are up to date on your gay porn actors.

Klingon. Without a doubt. Wash it had right.

I keep up to date on it on the off chance you ever come to a Cubs game. We can only talk about beer and how much the Yankees suck for so long. I know gay porn occupies the majority of your waking moments, so it's something for us to talk about.

And the kid from The Toy was in straight porn, as I remember. JJ's just seeing the beard and thinking about "jail pussy". You know how HE is.

it took you that long to come up with that?

but yes.. I suppose you are correct gay porn does occupy the majority of my waking moments considering the fucking cubs are all over the media..

What the fuck, man??

This thread is about Klingons, Romulans, and Ferengi, not about your Netflix queue, Jazz.

No, this thread is about

Attachment 17586

Besides, Netflix doesn't ship porn, gay or straight.

I change my answer. I give up the Romulan hair and I take the Klingon forehead...so I can headbutt Jazz.

Rat, you are in luck. I give you.... Klingon Shakespeare!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klingon_Hamlet

Qapla'!! (apparently I spelled it wrong earlier).

Interesting conundrum. On the one hand, while the haircut is permanent, no mention was made of plastic surgery to correct the Klingon/Ferengi deformities, so I must assume that this is allowed. However, if these disfigurements are widespread among the population, the Romulan haircut might become fashionable. This would mean choosing it would save you a lot of time,effort, and money on haircare. While a ridged forehead would be useful for headbutting, I can't imagine that behavior would become socially acceptable, so that's of dubious usefulness. But big ears would improve your hearing, and there's no harm in having one more erogenous zone.
Overall, I think the ears are the best choice.

inBOIL, you made me laugh so heartily I nearly fell from my seat.

I already have very 'sensitive' ears (as in the slightest touch can be arousing), so I'd go with Ferengi. Just watch the ears, ladies, unless you want more Robot than you can handle.

A Star Trek wiki for those not up to date on their Trek knowledge.
http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Portal:Main

For me, I'd rather be a Q.

Klingon baby!!!

Consider me one trapped geek.

i'm not into the trekkie stuff, so i'll just pass along some info...just in case you care, the star trek experience at the las vegas hilton will be closing this year. if you've never been, you need to go check it out! great bar there as well!

<-- if he gets to pick, I want to be The Traveler!

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/me...urneys_End.jpg

Fine, if someone is able to be the Q or The Traveler, I hereby declare myself a Crystalline Entity. :grumpy:

Yep, this thread is biased against the Andorian Imperial Guard.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...x-ST-Shran.jpg

The physical appearance question isn't as interesting as "which species/society in Star Trek would you want to be a member of?" I'd absolutely love to visit Vulcan and learn their various cultural aspects and practices. The fact that an atheistic, logical, and essentially emotionless society holds so firmly to it's rich cultural heritage is absolutely fascinating.

No no no no no no no no no no no no no...we don't get to go all willy nilly picking whoever we want to be.....


Aw, fuck it.

I'm Picard.

http://www.durfee.net/startrek/images/TNG146.jpgLike that courtship scene from ST:TNG? sex ain't sex without a little bloodshed. K'plah!

QFT.

-Inner Geek

I searched through this whole thread to find this picture.

I thought you people were cool. :(

I would probably pick Romulan as the lesser of the 3 evils

However I do feel it's necessary to point out that not all Romulan women have that haircut - take the commander who tried to seduce Spock to defect to the Romulan Star Empire

http://www.sherylfranklin.com/images...commander2.jpg

Touche! Now that's a hairstyle that appears far from steel.

Yeah, but that was TOS, which was before cannon was properly established. TOS klingons' forehead ridges were done with MAKEUP for god's sake. MAKEUP!!

I googled images of all 3.

I'm sure the ferengi thing is just the sweetest thing to ever walk the planet Earth, but man does it look nasty!

I was looking at the klingon images with a toddler on my lap, when she pointed to this one and said "It's Mama! It's baby's mama!" So I guess I'll go with this one.

http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/a...ingon-lady.jpg

This. Klingons with Self Control. If I had a choice of cultured evil and barbarian savagery, I'll take evil. If not, well, of the three, Klingon for me.

/ You haven't experienced Shakespeare until you've read him in the original Klingon.

Ferengi ears are HAWT! Plus you can cover them if you want...

If you're going to reason about it that way, then you're already ferengi, big ears are just the icing on the funny looking cake.