JumpinJesus

I didn't know where to put this - entertainment, nonsense, whichever. I figured General Discussion would work just fine. If I'm sorely mistaken, I'm sure it will be moved.

Anyway, on to the topic.

I was watching some religious hilarity breaking down on another forum and I got this sudden idea. Since some people are very touchy about what you say to religious people on a religious board, and since this place is still Tilted, I thought I'd share it here:



I think there needs to be a new version of that ever-popular Survivor television show, except this time, there should be about 7 different teams: Mormons, Seventh Day Adventists, Baptists (of any persuasion), Methodists, Catholics, Jehovah's Witnesses, and Scientologists (just for fun).

Now, the rules are simple. There's only one copy of the bible - autographed by Jesus himself (it's a bloody thumbprint so there can be no arguing that it's a forgery) and a copy of Dianetics autographed by L. Ron Hubbard (written in the blood of a psychoanalyst), but they're hidden in a secret location. The trick is that once one book is found and lifted from its pedestal, the other book will be destroyed by fire due to the mechanisms of the pedestals. Each team is given weapons and live ammunition and a note from the other six teams that outline in very condescending language the shortcomings of each belief.

The winner gets on full hour on primetime television (pre-empting House, M.D.) to preach whatever they want.

Oh, and as a bonus, there will be a cage in which will be kept 500 starving orphans from Bangladesh. Every time someone quotes something from scripture (or a tenet of Scientology), a starving orphan gets a billy club to the distended belly, and every time a religious zealot takes a bullet, a starving orphan gets a meal. A one-shot kill and the kid gets a Cinnabon cinnamon roll with extra icing for dessert.


I'm writing up the treatment now and I think I can get Fox to bite, as long as each team has at least one Damn-She's-So-Hot-Why-Does-She-Have-To-Be-Such-A-Freaking-Nut? blonde who has difficulty speaking in multi-syllabic words but has no problem being sexually naive and manipulated.


I really don't know what discussion this involves other than:


Share your own wacky ideas!

or

Give me your advice!

So....please don't lock me.

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

telekinetic

I heard a rumor that they've been running a large-scale test of this idea for centuries...

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twisted no more

uncle phil

what he said...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.