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Old 11-16-2009, 07:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Canada
The "FML" Thread.

FML = Fuck My Life.

Everyone post something that happened that made them go, aww FML.


Yesterday, My girlfriend and I went shopping with her mom and the sales lady told her mom to "trust her daughters opinon" We all stared blankly at eachother, and nobody corrected her. FML
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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I bought a certain manufacturer's pickup truck of a certain year... that year was the year that the cylinder heads used in the vehicle were made too soft and would stick in the block. A buddy of mine told me about the issue and I was shocked to learn the repair cost would be on my dime to fix.

Nice to know that something as expensive as a vehicle can be a dud. I sold it before it locked up on me. It a relatively new truck and I really loved it.

FML.
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:43 PM   #3 (permalink)
Unbelievable
 
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Location: Grants Pass OR
The owner of the company I work for was moping around the office one morning. I looked at him and said "Cal, you look like somebody killed your dog" He looked at me totally serious and said "They did". His grandson had run over his dog the night before.


FML
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:47 PM   #4 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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I bought a RobArms M96 Recon and expected some kind of reachable customer service when the proprietary parts decided to epic fail.

FML.
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Old 11-16-2009, 08:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
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As a young, single ML, I can say I'm a big fan of FMLs.
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Old 11-16-2009, 08:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Cake Town
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willravel View Post
As a young, single ML, I can say I'm a big fan of FMLs.
Catching up to uncle phil there...
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Old 11-16-2009, 08:19 PM   #7 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoganSnake View Post
Catching up to uncle phil there...
That's really scary.
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Old 11-16-2009, 09:24 PM   #8 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Canada
I was eating chicken cordon bleu just now, and found 2 pieces of what appear to be chicken toes. FML
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Old 11-16-2009, 09:40 PM   #9 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Willravel is catching up to uncle phill,

His life is fucked!

No seriously, erm ... I have no exceptionally embarrassing or otherwise sad stories to tell.

MLIA

A=Awesome!!
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Old 11-16-2009, 09:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
Forming
 
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Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9 View Post
I bought a certain manufacturer's pickup truck of a certain year... that year was the year that the cylinder heads used in the vehicle were made too soft and would stick in the block. A buddy of mine told me about the issue and I was shocked to learn the repair cost would be on my dime to fix.

Nice to know that something as expensive as a vehicle can be a dud. I sold it before it locked up on me. It a relatively new truck and I really loved it.

FML.
The lobster truck is gone?!

FML...
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Old 11-16-2009, 10:06 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I'm going to be censured and possibly other sanctions!

FML... Nooooot!.
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:09 AM   #12 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Canada
I have to spend the weekend with my parents, in the middle of nowhere, with no cell service, internet, or girlfriend. Just a bunch of cows, literal and figurative. FML
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:12 AM   #13 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
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Location: East-central Canada
No water, no warning.

Such is the life of the renter....who works from home.

FML
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:16 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I have just wasted a whole bunch of time arguing with a bunch of people and also being propositioned by some guy who wants my address over the internet so he can get close to me and bring me sweets. I think he wants to get in my pants. Why am I wasting my time arguing with idiots and fucking my own life?
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:30 AM   #15 (permalink)
Registered User
 
We can always arrange it so you can't be here to argue with "idiots"..
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:30 AM   #16 (permalink)
Paladin of the Palate
 
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Location: Redneckville, NC
Quote:
Originally Posted by new man View Post
I have just wasted a whole bunch of time arguing with a bunch of people and also being propositioned by some guy who wants my address over the internet so he can get close to me and bring me sweets. I think he wants to get in my pants. Why am I wasting my time arguing with idiots and fucking my own life?
You sir, are the destroyer of threads. Reading your posts drops my IQ just a bit lower. I should thank you tho, sometimes I feel that I have not read enough to debate the issues of the day with some of the intelligent members of this board. You make feel better about myself and the education I possess.

Thank you, you made me feel better about myself without having to go to the state fair.
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In my own personal experience---this is just anecdotal, mind you---I have found that there is always room to be found between boobs.
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:32 AM   #17 (permalink)
Broken Arrow
 
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Location: US
Left one job for another, but it was out of the frying pan and into the fire.

FML
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:33 AM   #18 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
new man, just because we call you sugar-boo, and wanna hang out with you (beer, shrooms, maybe some pot) like real men do doesn't mean we want in your pants. Don't be so insensitive ... I'll send you another card and as we already discussed, you'll have to get the extra large ones ...
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:01 PM   #19 (permalink)
Banned
 
xerxys,

I was just feeling all warm and loved, and now I know it is fake. you left me crushed. I am going to be in Charleston for a couple of days and then spartanburg for few. I could have come and visited you and gucci and eden all at the same time.
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:17 PM   #20 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
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new man, aren't you supposed to end the post with FML?

I mean, here I am typing at you. FML.
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:37 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden View Post
You sir, are the destroyer of threads. Reading your posts drops my IQ just a bit lower. I should thank you tho, sometimes I feel that I have not read enough to debate the issues of the day with some of the intelligent members of this board. You make feel better about myself and the education I possess.

Thank you, you made me feel better about myself without having to go to the state fair.
I am glad to have provided a service. Maybe someday you will be useful as well.
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Old 11-19-2009, 04:04 PM   #22 (permalink)
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by new man View Post
I have just wasted a whole bunch of time arguing with a bunch of people and also being propositioned by some guy who wants my address over the internet so he can get close to me and bring me sweets. I think he wants to get in my pants. Why am I wasting my time arguing with idiots and fucking my own life?
newman

maybe the sweets were laced with cianide or something Evil...EVIL!.... you never know, you cant trust strangers.... or better yet, maybe he doesnt want to get IN your pants, but rather, because he wears a dish-dash and head covering all day, he just want YOUR pants. damn foreigners. FML

make sure you lock your doors...
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:14 AM   #23 (permalink)
Broken Arrow
 
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Location: US
I am aroused by new man.

FML
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:59 AM   #24 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
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Location: Lilburn, Ga
I found out yesterday I have a pancreatic tumor.... FML
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Old 11-20-2009, 03:04 AM   #25 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
^^ Dang, I'm sorry to hear that.
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Old 11-20-2009, 09:44 AM   #26 (permalink)
sufferable
 
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My bike has no light and no rack and
no fender, and its raining.
Wet ass.
FML.
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:53 PM   #27 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Canada
Now I might not be going away this weekend, which means I could have gone to my girlfriends parents with her, instead I'm stuck here all alone with nothing but homework and a whole lot of laundry. FML
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Old 11-20-2009, 09:16 PM   #28 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Texas
I hate Texas but can't leave for personal reasons. My social life is non-existent. I still live with my parents. FML.
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Old 11-21-2009, 12:42 AM   #29 (permalink)
Sitting in a tree
 
Location: Atlanta
I made a thread a very similar to this one which is now poop because this one is more recent.

fml
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Old 11-21-2009, 05:31 PM   #30 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Whatever house my keys can get me into
Everything's going so well. something terrible is bound to happen. FML
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Old 11-21-2009, 06:30 PM   #31 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Canada
I still love her. FML!
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Old 11-21-2009, 06:44 PM   #32 (permalink)
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
 
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Super Moderator
Location: Australia/UAE
newman hasnt PM'd me yet...

FML
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Old 04-25-2010, 08:08 PM   #33 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Canada
I was just looking up threads of other peoples FML's, and I decided to do a search on here to see if anyone created a thread like that. I did. And it failed. FML.
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Old 04-26-2010, 05:08 AM   #34 (permalink)
Asshole
 
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Administrator
Location: Chicago
I came here thinking that we already had a FML thread that this one should be merged with. And then realized that the OP was here and made the same realization.

FML
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Old 04-26-2010, 06:28 AM   #35 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
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Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
I'm running 10-15 minutes late today on everything including all my meetings. These next 2 weeks are not the time to be running late at all.

FML.
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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
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Old 04-26-2010, 07:28 AM   #36 (permalink)
Kick Ass Kunoichi
 
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Location: Oregon
Woke up this morning with bad cramps and a headache, and I have three midterms, a small paper, and a piece of a project due this week. FML.
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Old 04-26-2010, 09:41 AM   #37 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Canada
I have to see my mother today... And I'm also so poor that I'm selling my goldfish because I can't find a job... FML.
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Old 04-26-2010, 09:51 AM   #38 (permalink)
Playing With Fire
 
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Location: Disaster Area
In between jobs too.....sick, I dont sleep well, another failed relationship. (royally) RFML
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Old 04-26-2010, 10:19 AM   #39 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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I worry I'm settling for you because I'm tired of repeatedly packing the materials things that make up my life into garbage bags when the relationship inevitably goes south. I realize that makes me an asshole but I can live with myself. Question is: can you?

FML.
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Old 04-26-2010, 10:27 AM   #40 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
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Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

FML
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Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
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