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Old 11-24-2009, 02:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
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What are reasons why you dumped someone ?

Sorry if this is in the wrong place or has been done ............

Just curious to know some reasons why men and women on here have dumped someone , not just long term relationships but also why you have went on one or two dates with someone and then decided not to continue seeing them ?
what happened ?
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Old 11-24-2009, 04:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Most common reason for me was a simple lack of a connection. I dated women who objectively should have been good matches for me... same interests, general goals, background, etc. But there just wasn't the connection.

I've never dumped someone over a major disagreement or cheating or anything like that. Longest relationship (before my marriage), we just drifted apart and although the breakup was harder for me than her, it was fairly amicable.

Actually, a couple of long-distance relationships I had that didn't end badly, but just broke off for long periods, were harder on me than other breakups, but we reconnected and are still good friends.
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Old 11-24-2009, 05:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
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-No longer felt physically attracted
-Couldn't have an intelligent conversation with the person that often
-Felt like I was their mother at some point
-They were emotionally or physically cruel to me
-They were into drugs
-They tried to grope me on a first date
-They smelled weird and it was off-putting
-They completely disregarded my feelings
-They were always working and never made time for the relationship
-They made me feel like I was fat/ugly/stupid/lazy
-They were very self-important and selfish
-They were unkind and thoughtless
-They were totally unromantic
-They cheated on me
-They had very different goals in life than my own
-We had very little in common

Think that's the list of reasons for now.

How about you NorthernGirl?
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Old 11-24-2009, 06:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I have mainly been the brokee than the broker, but I did have one major one. She was crazy, not in a "Oh man we had a huge fight about something stupid, blah blah blah men excuses" but in a "come home to your gf in a bathtub cutting herself and drawing on the wall with blood" kind of crazy. She was insane and I finally couldn't take it anymore. I cut it off before I woke up with her standing over top of me with a big fucking knife.

"You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to RUN."
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Old 11-24-2009, 06:07 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Mostly, I've been dumped, not doing the dumping. The only time I dumped someone was because my GF (of only about 2 weeks) had become extraordinarily clingy. I'm a flirty kind of guy, so if you can't handle that, I can't handle you.
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Old 11-24-2009, 06:40 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Eden quoted Kenny Rogers ... we can't be friends anymore.

She was moving to Oz.
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Old 11-24-2009, 06:56 AM   #7 (permalink)
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To be honest, because she wouldn't stop talking.

I need some peace & quiet from time to time, and if you do go on and on, make sure it's interesting.

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Old 11-24-2009, 07:10 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I've broken up with a lot of guys, but there is always the one that stands out more.

I was with a guy for 3.5 years. He was with me through some very rough times. I loved him dearly and still do. (Even though he's been a jack ass lately....)

I was growing up. I got a big girl job and had big girl responsibilities. I couldn't go out to the bars every night with him like I did in the beginning of the relationship. He was content with his part time living in his momma's basement. I just couldn't relate to that anymore.

I never felt like a priority in his life either. I don't think he was doing it on purpose, but it hurt me. I felt I deserved to be somebody's everything, so I broke it off.
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She probably tastes like cheap beer and smells like a jockstrap.
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Old 11-24-2009, 07:17 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Lack of "chemistry" ...which could be for all the reasons mentioned above. It's just that for me the concept of "chemistry" between two people embodies so much that it sums up all of it in one word.

Sometimes the chemistry is there strong enough that any negative aspects of the relationship diminish in importance, at least for a while...maybe for a long while, maybe forever. Obviously perfection does not exist.

I've dumped because of the above. And I've also been dumped because of it even when I was not yet accepting of the reality and the other person was ready to move on.
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Old 11-24-2009, 07:32 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Let's see:

1) Broke up with her because there was too much drama with her. She was still married at the time, we were young and stupid, and I was unclear about what I wanted, and therefore didn't get it.
2) Broke up with her because she moved 200 miles away and the long distance thing wasn't working
3) Broke up with her because I never loved her, she was just convenient (and also still married at the time...I'm kind of a bastard, actually--though in my defense she was separated before we started dating, unlike #1...sigh), and she was starting to make irreversible plans about grad school and stuff that hinged on me being able to support her.
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Old 11-24-2009, 10:43 AM   #11 (permalink)
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There's isn't much I wouldn't put up with for someone that I love but there have been a few times when I've been left with no choice but to break it off.

-A lack of mutual trust.
-Continual dramafest.
-Drug abuse, body image, self-esteem issues.
-A lack of ambition compounded by an inability to follow through on anything.
-A lack of sexual chemistry as she was under the impression that sex was a reward that I had to earn.
-The inability to understand that while I wanted her to call me daddy, I didn't want to be her daddy.

Having been through all of that, I wouldn't waste ten minutes on someone with similar qualities.

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How about Kenny Powers?

"With every pair of tits comes a gaping hole of neediness."
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Old 11-24-2009, 11:14 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Most relationships of mine end when I feel like I have no space. I absolutely abhor clinginess, nagging, and demands for attention.
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Old 11-24-2009, 11:23 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Obnoxious
Hygiene
Disgusted me sexually
Cheap
Clingy
Worshiped me - I can't stand that feeling

...what a trip down memory lane
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Old 11-24-2009, 11:42 AM   #14 (permalink)
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^ wooDs,
I hope this isn't OT but I'm curious: was there something that initially attracted you to this obnoxious, dirtball, disgusting, cheap, clingy creep?
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Old 11-24-2009, 11:47 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Reasons I've dumped someone: Drugs, immaturity, loss of connection. I think that's about it.
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Old 11-24-2009, 11:50 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BadNick View Post
^ wooDs,
I hope this isn't OT but I'm curious: was there something that initially attracted you to this obnoxious, dirtball, disgusting, cheap, clingy creep?
Oh this isn't just one guy. I'd say I mentally scanned over maybe 3 and this is what I came up with real quick.

I'm a sucker for tall guys. And that draws me in immediately. I seemed to have fallen before reality set in all 3 times. Pretty typical of break ups in general I guess.
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:06 PM   #17 (permalink)
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• Cheating
• Religious Prosthelytizing
• Physical Abuse
• Compulsive Lying
• Long-distance
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:31 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by woos View Post
I'm a sucker for tall guys. And that draws me in immediately.
I think that was my problem too. The past month I have been out with 2 different guys and they are both shorter than I. (I'm 5'11") They both are really sweet and seem sane. Maybe it's about time we gave some short boys a chance.
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She probably tastes like cheap beer and smells like a jockstrap.
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:37 PM   #19 (permalink)
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lol I wish I could. Really.

But I just have issues. I was always the tallest girl in class growing up. I've just got to be with a man who makes me feel feminine instead of like a giant oaf. :/
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:58 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I broke up with my boyfriend (the one before my ex-husband) because he was verbally abusive, extremely possessive and obsessive and he scared the crap out of me.

My ex-husband cheated on me. Enough said.
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Old 11-24-2009, 01:11 PM   #21 (permalink)
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1. After being dumped 13 times by the same girl (high school relationship), I kinda had enough and when she tried to patch things up, I said no. 1.2 year relationship.

2. Fell out of love. Became a dick to her. Wasn't fair to either of us for me to stay. 3.5 year relationship.
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Old 11-24-2009, 01:50 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BadNick View Post
^ wooDs,
I hope this isn't OT but I'm curious: was there something that initially attracted you to this obnoxious, dirtball, disgusting, cheap, clingy creep?
Quote:
Originally Posted by woos View Post
Oh this isn't just one guy. I'd say I mentally scanned over maybe 3 and this is what I came up with real quick.

I'm a sucker for tall guys. And that draws me in immediately. I seemed to have fallen before reality set in all 3 times. Pretty typical of break ups in general I guess.
wooDs,
sorry...I didn't intend to make the above sound like you did something screwy or wrong but I can see it may be misunderstood that way...not what I intended. Even though I'm a very tall, masculine, clean, independent sort of guy, I was wrong.
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Old 11-24-2009, 02:24 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
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I'm a very tall...guy
Single too?

Oh it doesn't matter. It'd just be a challenge.
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Old 11-24-2009, 02:47 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
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How about Kenny Powers?

"With every pair of tits comes a gaping hole of neediness."
I love you, man.
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Old 11-24-2009, 06:45 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by woos View Post
Single too?

Oh it doesn't matter. It'd just be a challenge.
Oh, I forgot to mention "married". Maybe I should add "Mr. Obvious" when I say that the right single guy will give you the attention you deserve...usually an already married one won't.
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Old 11-24-2009, 06:56 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Recent memory? Mmm, have to be the girl who said her life goal was to be a "sexy housewife MILF."

I'm sorry, lady... but I need you to have some kinda career / academic ambition. Get outta my wallet.
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Old 11-24-2009, 07:05 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Oh, I forgot to mention "married". Maybe I should add "Mr. Obvious" when I say that the right single guy will give you the attention you deserve...usually an already married one won't.
Dammit!

SO close!
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Old 11-24-2009, 07:37 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Biggest reason is because people pretend they are something or someone they are not, then their true colors show in time.

I don't have time for phoney's, wannabe's or pretenders.

Why is it so hard for people to be themselves?

Like really, work your shit out and then go spend sometime with someone. You might learn that people actually like you the way you are.
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Old 11-25-2009, 07:15 AM   #29 (permalink)
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I haven't had many relationships to speak of. My first two had both cheated on me. There was a big reason to cut them loose. The second guy had also been emotionally abusive towards me. Another good reason not to stick around. The third guy was someone I had decided to casualty date. It seemed like that was what he was looking for to. However he had continually canceled our dates because he had spent all his money on drugs. Or he wanted to get drunk with his buddies at a bar. I make it pretty clear that I'm not into drugs and alcohol. Therefore, again no reason to hang around.
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Old 11-25-2009, 07:43 AM   #30 (permalink)
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He wanted the thermostat on 68...I wanted it on 72.

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Old 11-25-2009, 09:13 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Quote:
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lol I wish I could. Really.

But I just have issues. I was always the tallest girl in class growing up. I've just got to be with a man who makes me feel feminine instead of like a giant oaf. :/
FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS ME!!!!

When I don't like short guys, it's not because of them. It really is me. I feel so insecure around them like I'm some scary monster looming over them.

I had an awesome time with a shorter guy last night, and I thought I was over myself. Then came the kiss goodnight. He got on his tippy toes...
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She probably tastes like cheap beer and smells like a jockstrap.
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Old 11-25-2009, 09:16 AM   #32 (permalink)
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How hard is to find a guy that's 6'1"+? Not hard. I know at least 10 of them off the top of my head. I don't buy this tall girl nonsense.
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Old 11-25-2009, 10:03 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZombieSquirrel View Post
FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS ME!!!!

When I don't like short guys, it's not because of them. It really is me. I feel so insecure around them like I'm some scary monster looming over them.

I had an awesome time with a shorter guy last night, and I thought I was over myself. Then came the kiss goodnight. He got on his tippy toes...
oh gawd lol.

My ex was 6'5"ish. It was great - could wear heels like a woman and all. Not ugly flats and flat boots and sneakers, etc. I did date someone years ago who was 6'8", but he was lovers with his male roommate and I knew it. That didn't last long.

I looked around at some point for dating sites for tall people only - just found generic crap. I'm still convinced most men prefer petite, dainty flowers instead of Amazon women. But this last guy didn't. I'm spoiled now.
Quote:
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How hard is to find a guy that's 6'1"+? Not hard. I know at least 10 of them off the top of my head. I don't buy this tall girl nonsense.
6'2"+ for me.

Yeah, I know about 32 blondes too. Think you'll click with each and every one of them? Height isn't everything, although physically for me, it's #1. Just because a guy's tall though, it doesn't mean he has a good head way up high on those shoulders.

You know what I'm talking about, right?
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:23 AM   #34 (permalink)
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I've never dumped anyone. I have backed off upon sensing interest, though.
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casualty date
No wonder things didn't last.
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Old 11-26-2009, 02:33 PM   #35 (permalink)
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....because they deserved it?
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Old 11-26-2009, 07:04 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Location: Ohio! yay!
I've never dumped anyone.
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Old 11-26-2009, 08:21 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.
I've always been the dumper...

Girlfriend #1- She cheated on me on my birthday. That was the needle that broke the poorly treated camels back, though...

Girlfriend #2 (1st time)- She bitched at me constantly. Later I found I was just scared of a serious relationship (See GF3). Who wouldn't be at 17?

Girlfriend #3- I realized I was still in love with GF2.

Girlfriend #2 (2nd time)- We grew up in opposite directions. I didn't like the person she grew into at all.

Girlfriend #4- I was in love with Jen.

Girlfriend #5- This one is Jen. She actually dumped me our first go.

Girlfriend #6- I wasn't in the mindset to be committed to anybody at that time.

Girlfriend #7- We were a fling. That was pretty much understood from the start. Once she was done with it, I left.

Girlfriend #8- She was a lying, cheating whore.

Believe it or not, those are the only 8 women I have ever been in the position to dump/be dumped with.
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Old 11-26-2009, 08:28 PM   #38 (permalink)
 
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I've said goodbye and fare-thee-well, a few times.

'Dump' (to me) implies a refuse full of harsh resentment.

All relationships bestow gifts.
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Old 11-27-2009, 05:00 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Location: With the man of my dreams in Halifax Nova Scotia
He was (and still is) toxic to me.

As ring says, "All relationships bestow gifts" That relationship gave me two sons, I just wish I had given them a better father.
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Old 11-27-2009, 11:18 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Dumped one for cheating. I knew before she came back from her trip.
Dumped another because I met the love of my life. I'm still with the love of my life after 16 years
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