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Old 11-28-2009, 11:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
Psycho
 
If you were the last human being on earth...

...what would you do? Get drunk? Start to cry? Try on ladies' clothes (if you're a man)? Shoot things with a big gun? Drive cars really fast? How long would it take to get bored of throwing rocks through windows and that sort of thing? How long before you seriously thought about how to slay cattle yourself (assuming there are still cows and you eat meat)? And would you try and start growing crops or would you just think fuck it, I'll eat out of tins?
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Old 11-28-2009, 11:07 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: ....a state of pure inebriation.
I honestly think I'd end my life. I see little point in living without interaction...

What about you, oliver?
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Old 11-28-2009, 11:25 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: The Woodlands, TX
I'd spend a lot more time naked!

it would definitely suck... but I'm not much of one to just give up.... I'd probably try to travel and see if I could find another person...

hopefully there would still be dogs in this situation... having a couple furry friends would make it much easier...
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Old 11-28-2009, 11:26 AM   #4 (permalink)
Psycho
 
I don't know, maybe I would do that after a couple of years. But before then I'd probably do all that stuff I already said. But just imagine if some friendly enlightened aliens came to Earth AFTER you ended your life and if you had been alive you could have gone with them to their planet and interacted with them and had LOADS of fun. Otherwise they're just gonna come to Earth, see your body and be like "oh... the last human... damn... we could have learned loads of good shit from him. We better go back home after all"
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Old 11-28-2009, 11:59 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Denver City Denver
I'm assuming I'd jerk off a lot.


I think I'd do pretty well. I can start a fire. I'm okay with killing cute little animals for food.
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Old 11-28-2009, 12:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
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see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
i would survive and like it..............killing animals for food is peanuts.......and i gotta agree on having a dog companion though.....and i'd join all the fucking amps together,and turn them all to 11 and rock the hell out baby............


most people i know suck anyways......piss poor attitudes i can live without..........sign me up.


fuck yeah..........Fly...........the last human...........



look out world........
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Old 11-28-2009, 12:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
Eh?
 
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Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
I'd spend a whole lot of time walking around Washington D.C. looking for classified info. Then I'd hop over to Area 51, again, seeing what I could find.

Really, it wouldn't be that bad of a life. You'd get to do whatever you wanted, drive very very fast, and you'd have some very choice real estate.
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Old 11-28-2009, 12:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
Delicious
 
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As long as there aren't any zombies, I could find ways to entertain myself for years.

I wouldn't travel at first. I'd set up a permanent residence with solar and wind power. I'd use gas generators until I could get renewable energy set up. I'd spend most of my days scavenging and storing goods that would otherwise be damaged by nature. Once I've got a pretty good setup I'd work on making a portable safehouse in a Semi-truck or hell, an airplane and use it for long distance scavenging or rarer items like electric vehicles and more solar panels that I'll need when gasoline goes bad. In short, I'd just spend my days preparing to survive when I'm sick, injured or too old to do hard work.
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Old 11-28-2009, 04:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Texas
I would make my way to the Pentagon and look for advanced technology to aid in the resurgence of humanity. I'd probably look for a DNA sample of Scarlett Johansson and then clone her with the machine buried underneath the Pentagon. Then we could make babies and do other cool stuff.
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Old 11-28-2009, 04:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I believe humans are social creatures, and without anyone to relate to and interact with, a person would only wish for death. Yeah, it'd be cool to jack a really nice car, fill it up with racing fuel, and drive across the country blasting Led Zeppelin and drinking Jim Beam, but once I got bored of the things I've wanted to do but can't, I'd probably off myself.

Unless there were Zombies. You bet your ass I'd be like Woody Harrelson in Zombieland.

EDIT: Now that I think about it, no! I'd get a dog, probably a husky, and we'd cruise across the country in a 750cc dune buggy, exploiting the remainder of the world's resources. I'd keep him at my side and let him do whatever he wanted. We'd definitely make a trip to Camp Lejeune so I could stock up on weapons and ammunition, and take it all to Wal-Mart and blow the shit out of it, one aisle at a time. Ah yes.. I could do that well into old age. I imagine I would become far more self-destructive with the ability to smoke all the free cigarettes in the world, and drive as I please.

It sounds like something I'd like to do for a vacation, but I would like it if everyone eventually re-appeared and things returned to normal. I really get off on my job.

Last edited by jnthnlllshprd; 11-28-2009 at 04:55 PM..
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Old 11-28-2009, 04:56 PM   #11 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Texas
Quote:
Originally Posted by jnthnlllshprd View Post
I believe humans are social creatures, and without anyone to relate to and interact with, a person would only wish for death. Yeah, it'd be cool to jack a really nice car, fill it up with racing fuel, and drive across the country blasting Led Zeppelin and drinking Jim Beam, but once I got bored of the things I've wanted to do but can't, I'd probably off myself.

Unless there were Zombies. You bet your ass I'd be like Woody Harrelson in Zombieland.
The solution is to look for the cloning machine buried underneath the Pentagon and make clones from the DNA vault if you desire social interaction.
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Old 11-28-2009, 05:01 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: Angloland
Find a source of food, raid a sex shop, spend my days driving military hardware and fast cars.

Do a lot of reading, watch movies and generally get bored.
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Old 11-28-2009, 05:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
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I'd create a database or store of some kind in which I could store all human knowledge I could get my hands on, something that would be around for millions of years after I die. No sense in letting all this civilization go to waste. If another intelligent species develops on Earth or if an extraterrestrial civilization comes a-visitng, they can get some idea of what we were all about.

Other than that, obviously I'd have to grow food. There's a stream that runs near my house that I might be able to redirect to a local park for crops. I'm thinking some apples, oranges, corn, wheat, tomatoes, asparagus, broccoli, olives and soy. This would by far be the most daunting task because I don't have farming experience. There's not much in the form of edible animals in the area except for rodents and such. I doubt I could train my beagle Jack to hunt, though, he'd just bark and chase them up trees. I'd probably keep more dogs, as Jack's life expectancy is really only around 15 years and I'd want the companionship to keep from losing my mind. Maybe a neighbor has a dog more fitted to hunting.

Oh, and I'd bury as many people as possible assuming whatever happened to them left their bodies around.
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Old 11-28-2009, 08:22 PM   #14 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
I'd find the best bookshop that I could get to, drag an espresso machine in there, barricade myself inside and live out my final days as happy and as content as could be imagined.
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Old 11-28-2009, 08:38 PM   #15 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Greater Boston area
First thing I'd do is stockpile canned goods and water. If there are still bodies around, I'd head for the hills, literally. I'd want to be upwind of the cities. Have to find a fresh water source away from the cities as well. All those bodies are going to mess up the ground water for awhile.
After a couple of months or so, I'd head someplace warm where I could farm nearly year round. Have to learn to hunt.
Wouldn't worry about clothes. Should be plenty to last a lifetime.
Might try to find a good place to store books. There would be plenty of plastic wrap/ziplock bags to protect them.
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Old 11-28-2009, 08:47 PM   #16 (permalink)
We work alone
 
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Location: Cake Town
After mourning everyone I've lost, I'd do pretty much what Robert Neville did in I Am Legend, minus the zombies. A dog is a must. Maybe a couple so that they could breed. I don't think I'd be able to tame a wild dog after mine will pass.

Joy rides, canned goods, working out and infinite boredom.
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Old 11-28-2009, 09:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I doubt that I would know I'm the last human left so I'd probably spend my days looking for others. Starting with trying to find my family members. Then anyone else, anywhere.
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Old 11-29-2009, 06:07 PM   #18 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Canada
I'd probably do all those things you cant do/can't have while there's other people around. Drive a lambroghini super, super fast. Break all the animals out of the pet stores, cuddle with them, set them free. Eat whatever the hell I wanted. Swim naked in someone's back yard pool, do anything.

Then I'd get bored and check out.

---------- Post added at 06:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:07 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Craven Morehead View Post
I doubt that I would know I'm the last human left so I'd probably spend my days looking for others. Starting with trying to find my family members. Then anyone else, anywhere.
Actually, i'd do that first. THEN I'd do the above.
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Old 11-29-2009, 11:01 PM   #19 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Tennessee
After realizing I now have all the time in the world to read I'd probably wind up breaking my reading glasses and uttering "That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was all the time I needed... ! It's not fair!" before some omniscient voice begins telling the story of my plight.

No no I kid. Actually every time I think of this scenario I always find myself wanting to just wander around doing all the stuff I can't do now. Like drive on the wrong side of the road, wander through peoples houses and look at stuff, collect things I've always wanted but couldn't afford. Yeah its not really all that deep but I guess the prospect of being completely alone in the world is a little too horrifying to delve much deeper.
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Old 11-30-2009, 01:00 AM   #20 (permalink)
Shade
 
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Location: Belgium
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSflim View Post
I'd find the best bookshop that I could get to, drag an espresso machine in there, barricade myself inside and live out my final days as happy and as content as could be imagined.
And that's when your reading glasses break.



I suppose you would be able to live off of tins, etc for a few years, until most stuff has expired.

Once you start to grow food for yourself & cattle, you'll need to have sheds for storage & housing as well during winter.

And since nobody is around anymore to provide you with good working tools & fertilizer to do it, you'll wind up a single farmer, scraping to get by while working every day until you're too old to do it, at which point you'll simply die because of starvation.


Yeah, here's to hoping I die along with the rest of ya
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Old 11-30-2009, 10:23 AM   #21 (permalink)
sufferable
 
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I would explore the world with any form of transportation available (which I imagine would be a lot). I would pillage groceries and try different things, I would befriend animals, I would swim a lot, I would live and sleep how I wanted.

I would be lonely.
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Old 11-30-2009, 11:36 AM   #22 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Some place windy
I would travel, look for others, read, learn to hunt, scavenge.
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:01 AM   #23 (permalink)
You had me at hello
 
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Location: DC/Coastal VA
Unlike Burgess Meredith, I would have the notion to look for another pair of glasses.

I would head for a large type university at first. They have tons of resources in relatively compact areas. An ag school would be best because they also tend to have greenhouses full of veggies and expirements with wind and solar power. I know several schools showed self sustaining solar and hydro houses on the Mall in DC a month ago.

Airports are other good resource laden places.
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:19 AM   #24 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Probably take up smoking again.

Seriously, I'd probably off myself. I don't mind spending time alone but that would drive me crazy.
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:30 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Location: In the woods. With a shotgun.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jnthnlllshprd View Post
I believe humans are social creatures, and without anyone to relate to and interact with, a person would only wish for death.
I'd do fine by myself. Being alone doesn't mean being lonely. At least not in my case!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Willravel View Post
I'd create a database or store of some kind in which I could store all human knowledge I could get my hands on, something that would be around for millions of years after I die. No sense in letting all this civilization go to waste. If another intelligent species develops on Earth or if an extraterrestrial civilization comes a-visitng, they can get some idea of what we were all about.
Have you ever read Earth Abides? I highly recommend it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Willravel View Post
Other than that, obviously I'd have to grow food. There's a stream that runs near my house that I might be able to redirect to a local park for crops. I'm thinking some apples, oranges, corn, wheat, tomatoes, asparagus, broccoli, olives and soy.
My little farm is already up and running - greenhouse, multiple raised veggie beds, fruit trees, chickens. I'd have no trouble keeping myself fed, and fed well.

I suppose my first order of business would be to get off the grid, since it ain't gonna last very long without humans to run it. That means putting up a windmill and solar panels, opening up my capped well and getting it going again, bringing in a pellet stove and hijacking pellets from the local farm store, get some animal traps, maybe dam up the small stream next to my property to encourage migrating and game birds to stop for dinner and so on.

Then, I'd rustle up some pigs and cows and take over my neighbor's fenced lot to keep them in. Haul in lots of feed for winter months.

Hell, I'd be fine. Unless Mount St. Helens blows again.
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:38 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Location: spokane WA
Honestly, I'm sure i would find something to do with my alone time. Don't get me wrong im already counting on going bat-shit crazy. But im almost positive i would seek out others first, and if no such luck then id probably do what i do now when im alone, masturbate! haha.
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Old 12-09-2009, 08:11 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Location: My head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willravel View Post
I'd create a database or store of some kind in which I could store all human knowledge I could get my hands on, something that would be around for millions of years after I die. ...
Ohh man, downloading all those episodes of southpark would take you a long time man!!!!
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Old 12-12-2009, 12:27 PM   #28 (permalink)
Upright
 
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Did we establish why I'm the last human? Someone mentioned bodies, but would there be bodies? Or am I the last human because aliens kidnapped everyone else? I think I'd be trying to find other people too, and if I figured I was the last then I'd want to know why I was the last. Is it weird that I'm hoping for Zombies so I can be like jnthnlllshprd and do a Woody Harrelson?
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Old 12-12-2009, 04:39 PM   #29 (permalink)
Upright
 
I do remember a movie back in the 1970's,called "Where have all the people gone".
Problems would be packs of wild dogs,no resources to help YOURSELF out if YOU were hurt...
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Old 12-12-2009, 04:58 PM   #30 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlon's Mom View Post
Have you ever read Earth Abides? I highly recommend it.
I've not, but I do like disaster and post-apoc science fiction. I find the idea of finding yourself suddenly responsible for rebuilding civilization fascinating, if a bit frightening. I'll be sure to check that out, thanks!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlon's Mom View Post
My little farm is already up and running - greenhouse, multiple raised veggie beds, fruit trees, chickens. I'd have no trouble keeping myself fed, and fed well.
That's awesome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxys View Post
Ohh man, downloading all those episodes of southpark would take you a long time man!!!!
Who says I haven't already?

The real tough one to download was Undeclared.
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Old 12-12-2009, 05:49 PM   #31 (permalink)
Upright
 
I would look for a sperm bank..lol
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Old 12-12-2009, 06:20 PM   #32 (permalink)
 
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Location: ❤
I'd spend my remaining days subsisting on Fentanyl & oatmeal-raisin Power bars.
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Old 12-12-2009, 06:37 PM   #33 (permalink)
The Reforms
 
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Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
...it'd be no different than yesterday, honestly.

While I'd probably cry and lament my loneliness a thousand times over, I might finally be able to accomplish all the things I've put on hold, and would still like to learn. Not for the benefit of anyone other than myself, but my backlog of shelved attempts and goals is engaging the encyclopedic, and at least some then-learned music and languages are there to keep my company. The internet probably would die, so I'd need to reacclimate myself to the Dewey Decimal System, but from then on, the world will be mine—just as I've always wanted. After a few decades, though, my boredom might force me to speed up evolutionary processes (eez), and I'll use my new-found helicoptering expertise to look after a far begone wildlife sanctuary; someone needs to teach those simeons how to sign again, and with a little luck and a hoard of cockatoos, one of them might finally speak.
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Old 12-12-2009, 10:31 PM   #34 (permalink)
who ever said streaking was a bad thing?
 
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Location: Calgary
I'd go crazy...
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Old 12-13-2009, 06:30 AM   #35 (permalink)
Groovy Hipster Nerd
 
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Location: Michigan
I would collect supplies from a variety of different locations, then I would travel to the forest or woods and live on the land. If I find that is not as interesting as I first thought, I would travel city to city either by car or walking to each location trying to find another human. This may take a lot longer than expected since I am assuming the internet and communication equipment are down.

I would write in a journal about my findings so if there are other humans on Earth that find my remains (if I were to die of unknown causes), they may be able to read the journal to find out what I have been doing.

Last edited by Jove; 12-13-2009 at 06:33 AM..
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Old 12-13-2009, 06:41 AM   #36 (permalink)
Addict
 
I would look inward very hard to find ways to limit my carbon footprint and protect and prolong the life of the earth.

I'd single handedly be saving the planet man. And I would mark in my daytimer when to turn the lights out one day of the year for an hour since no one would be around to remind me.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:34 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Finally... the Dark Chocolate Raisinettes would be all mine.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:38 AM   #38 (permalink)
Tilted
 
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Location: In the woods. With a shotgun.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willravel View Post
I've not, but I do like disaster and post-apoc science fiction. I find the idea of finding yourself suddenly responsible for rebuilding civilization fascinating, if a bit frightening.
Then you'll definitely like it.

I must have read Earth Abides 15 times, it's that great. It was assigned reading in a college course I took, and when that paperback fell apart, I bought another one. In fact, I think it's time to read it again. Now where did I put it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Willravel View Post
That's awesome.
I blame my mother. I inherited her green thumb and need to plant/grow things, which was a real bitch when I lived in apartments (omg, I had a freakin' jungle inside my last place). About five years ago, I decided I needed some real dirt and bought a place in the country (1.14 acres) - and went NUTS.

A few pics from last summer:


Foreground: veggies, strawberries, herbs. Background: blueberry bushes, young apple, peach, and cherry trees.

Always plant more than I need, but it never goes to waste - what I don't eat or sell goes to the chickens.

Foreground: more veggies. Background (mostly hidden): mature apple and plum trees.
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Old 12-16-2009, 07:38 AM   #39 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Over the rainbow . .
I'd probably go to the homes of people I don't like and snoop.
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Old 12-16-2009, 11:27 AM   #40 (permalink)
The Reforms
 
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Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
Quote:
Originally Posted by trisha View Post
I would look for a sperm bank..lol
Quite insightful. That is using your resources for the good of mankind. And with different donors, and an aim to repopulate civilization, the matters of incest would be cut down to a miminum seeing as only the mother's gene are inherited, while having totally different fathers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halanna View Post
I'd probably go to the homes of people I don't like and snoop.
That was always my imagination of fancy when I was a small boy. I'd go in car rides and just look out the window and think to myself, "If I were the last person on Earth, I'd probably make a note to travel all around the neighborhood, the city, the county, the state, the highways, the coast, the inlands, the mountains, the lakes, the country, the continents, the world, if given the time, just to look inside people's homes. I wondered if any person/family's home inside was even remotely the same as any other home's decorum, furniture, or knick-knacks. It's still a thought in my mind of how to get into people's homes just to look around and make mental notes of how one person arranges things as compared to someone else.
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