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Old 09-02-2010, 07:14 AM   #1 (permalink)
WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE!
 
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Boob paintings

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Artists are special. Some are too special to comprehend. Their work often makes us non-artists wonder, “WTF?!”
If you find yourself confused by what critics claim is ground-breaking art, if you frequently think a 5-year-old can do that, if you have ever reached the conclusion that art is stupid, then don’t feel alone. There are always sane people scratching their heads at the work of crazy artists.
the unbelievable: breast paintings
the culprit: Kira Ayn Varszegi
the down-low: Kira, an artist from Hartford, Conn., is armed with 38DD breasts. She used to collaborate with her pet turtle Koopa, who has created 827 paintings in his reptilian lifetime, but since his retirement she has resorted to using her knockers to paint abstract pieces. What’s really mind-boggling about Kira’s breast paintings is that they aren’t terrible. They don’t look round and blobby like breasts, but instead are linear and integrated.
the unnecessary fun facts: Her work was featured in Maxim in 2009, you can request a specially created piece, and her website bluntly states, “specializing in museum-quality breast paintings since 2001.”
linky
Seriously, the painting looks like every other modern abstract painting out there, so...it's good, I guess?

I'd rather see the boobs, though.
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Old 09-02-2010, 07:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I just do not get the abstract bit. I am just not seeing "breast" in either of the paintings, looked liked she forgot to take her meds before she she too brush to palette....
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Old 09-02-2010, 08:58 AM   #3 (permalink)
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^^ I agree. She prolly just painted them by hand and in order to sell, she told everyone else she smeared paint on her boobs and proceeded to dry hump the canvas.

Also, I don't like abstract paintings. I can't associate them with anything besides what hallucinations people on TV claim to have (I've never had a multi-colored hallucination, for that matter).
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:05 AM   #4 (permalink)
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She must have really pointy nipples to get all those fine points in picture #2. Or does she squeeze a brush between her boobies and paint that way? Either way I'd only believe it after seeing it done personally then motorboating dem tittays.
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:41 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Gotta give them a gold star for correct use of the much loved word "knockers" in a serious article.
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
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well, there are people out there who buy that stuff! the fact that it has come in contact with female anatomy is enough to start luring in male buyers. It's an interesting and honest attempt at art using boobs for sure.
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:47 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Regardless of her methods or her purpose, she does have huge talents.
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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It's good to see that Baraka will continue my reign of nyuck-nyucks after I'm gone.
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Old 09-02-2010, 11:27 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AquaFox View Post
the fact that it has come in contact with female anatomy is enough to start luring in male buyers.
"A womans (sucks in deeply on inhaler) breast touched this!"

I wouldn't buy her art, but if it makes her a ton of dough, more power to her.
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Old 09-02-2010, 11:59 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearl Trade View Post
"A womans (sucks in deeply on inhaler) breast touched this!"
Hahaha. Perfect.
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Old 09-02-2010, 12:07 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I know you people have heard of conceptual art.
Don't make me bump the menstrual blood paintings thread.
Perhaps she has nipple piercings she uses for the finer lines.

There are five fishing poles in that first photo. I need a fishing buddy.
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Old 09-02-2010, 12:14 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Boob painting? That's nothing.

Wait 'til I do a fine oil work depicting a lunar eclipse using only a black canvas, white paint and my flaccid wang.

*dunk* Helicopter, helicopter!
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Old 09-02-2010, 12:28 PM   #13 (permalink)
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fly? I mean fly fishing? Although it could be with Fly! ring, can you imagine fly fishing with Fly?

Even though Kira might be Hungarian (based on her name, Varszegi) I don't think this is all that original. There seems to be quite a few women painting with their breasts. Can't blame them at all, use what you got. I think I am brave enough to search if there are men who paint with their cocks. Never heard of it, but likely there are. Now if we found a video of this happening simultaneously, I think that would be good art.


Btw, this is not NSFW:

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Old 09-02-2010, 03:51 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Well again a new use for breasts that i would never have thought of. I swear there are 1001 uses for them. Now i have to admit some of that art is impressive but there are some things in some of those that doesn't look like they where just done by boobs.
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Old 09-02-2010, 04:49 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
Everything in the world imagined (and still to be conceptualized) has a market for those interested enough to think they need such things. This is no different. It's kitsch, I think.

Abstract questions for the abstract artist:
Are these things being shown in a gallery; does she go into detail about her artists' meditatory process; can all they do is paint?
(I know these won't a get a reply; that's not the point.)


Maybe it's just me, but I leave artists to their preferred methods, I have no need to analyze and judge what they find soothing or meaningful, and I leave such criticizations up to those who are more better qualified at this than I: the actual ones who feel this could be worth something, in the traditional sense (buying, selling, and "showing off" to the neigbors).


--(Also, maybe just me, but I fist-pumped the air when I read She used to collaborate with her pet turtle Koopa, who has created 827 paintings in his reptilian lifetime, ... So much affirmation of 'Yes'.)
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Old 09-07-2010, 09:00 AM   #16 (permalink)
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So the question comes up again; what the hell IS art? Is it only the end result that matters or does the process hold any weight in terms of the quality of the final piece?

This is hardly something new. I recall, a few years back a creative gentleman was featured in Art Forum, who blew paint out of his ass, which I interpreted as his take on the absurdity of not only the art world, but the notion that abstract work could be judged as either good or bad in the first place.

By my standards, her abstract works aren’t very good. My cat could do this blindfolded, and certainly Koko, the gorilla, could follow suit. I’ll start paying closer attention to her work, when she gains some control over those things. Now, THAT would be spectacular.

Art is a great excuse for elevating our banal needs to a higher plane. This is a good way to get her the attention she wants, not as an artist, but for the sheer magnitude of those appendages. Breasts speak very loudly in our culture. What better way to get everyone to buck up and stand at attention?
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