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Old 10-07-2010, 05:31 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Posting children online: harmless?

This caught my eye mainly because it was just last night that I realized how annoying I found it when people's Facebook profile pics are replaced with photos of their ultrasound or their children. Call me a purist, but profile pics should generally have a picture of you, not someone else. I find it a bit off putting when I see someone's name and a photo of someone else, especially a child.

I'm actually a bit less annoyed by people who post silly or ironic photos of random things, but in those cases, it's usually because of concerns over privacy regarding photographs.

So is this an issue? Is it totally okay to post you children on Facebook, etc.? I'm constantly reminding people that posting to the Internet is like publishing something in a traditional sense. Once it's out there, you can't really get it back.

While I'm sure many of these mothers have set their privacy to "friends only," I'm sure many of them haven't. Many are probably just happy about sharing their "bundle of joy," even to go so far as to create a whole website for the world to see.

So.... dangerous or just annoying?

Will this go too far? How far is too far?

Am I just in a bad mood?

Quote:
Social media babies: More than a third of Canadian moms post sonograms online

By Gillian Shaw 7 Oct 2010 COMMENTS(0) Digital Life

And it's just a start on an indelible digital footprint that's followed up with almost 85 per cent of moms in Canada posting photos of their children online before they reach the age of two and eight per cent giving their babies a social networking profile.

The figures are among those in a survey commissioned by security software maker AVG that found Canadian moms are among the most likely in the world to share their kid's lives online.

And while privacy and security experts warn of over sharing, that doesn't worry Canadian moms who were the least concerned among those surveyed when asked about the amount of information available on their children that would still be online for years to come.

The survey of 2,200 mothers with children under age two in the EU5, Canada, the United States, Australia, New Zealand and Japan, found that 37 per cent of Canadian moms have posted sonograms of their babies - a figure that tops all other countries including our neighbors in the U.S. where 33 per cent post pre-natal images online. Globally the average is 23 per cent.

Social media starts early as well in Canada, with eight per cent of Canadian babies getting a social networking profile, compared to five per cent on average world wide.

Across all countries surveyed, the average age that a child gets an online presence is six months while by the age of two, 81 per cent have a digital footprint.

Sally Chow, daughter of Vancouver blogger and dot com entrepreneur John Chow had an online following before she was even born. Sally's web site, sallychow.com announced her imminent arrival with a sonogram image and the words: "Hello everyone! I'll be out in another 3 months!" [post continues....]
Social media babies: More than a third of Canadian moms post sonograms online - Digital Life
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Old 10-07-2010, 05:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
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The ones that bother me are the parents who post naked images of their babies/toddlers - and those who post photos that would embarrass their child later. Tasteful, professional photos get a thumbs-up. But the whole child as your profile pic thing makes me wonder if they have lost their personal identity in the process of raising that child.
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Old 10-07-2010, 05:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by genuinegirly View Post
But the whole child as your profile pic thing makes me wonder if they have lost their personal identity in the process of raising that child.
Yeah, I always think that in the back of my mind. Part of that has to do with the fact that I've seen too many parents become all about their children. I know it's important to provide for your children in the best way you can, but do you really have to lose yourself in the process? You'd think the best role models are those who have their own interests, personalities, and lives on top of being able to be a great parent.

Anyway, that's another topic. (Or is it?) But what do I know? I'm just a selfish child-free ignoramus.
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Old 10-07-2010, 06:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
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this whole upcoming generation is going to have their lives from birth to teen and onward completely published online for everyone to see... It gets a bit disturbing when too much is posted... i'm curious to just how they will deal with some of the stuff when they get older.

I'm kinda glad my parents don't have facebook. in order to see my embarrassing childhood photos, your only option would actually have to come over my house and spend an hour looking in shoe boxes with my mom.
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Old 10-07-2010, 08:57 PM   #5 (permalink)
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i can't imagine what the next generation of politics will be like. pictures...of... EVERYTHING!! "So, tipper gore, jr., i see you got shitfaced at a party 20 years ago. do you think that makes you a good role model for our children?"
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Old 10-07-2010, 09:06 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I have a blog for my daughter, and will have a blog for my next one. I have not only posted sonograms online, I've posted sonograms on TFP specifically!

I see no non-fearmongering reason not to share pictures of my children, particularly on the blog, which is targeted at all the family across the country who can't share in her little day-to-day adventures.
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Old 10-07-2010, 10:18 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru View Post
I'm just a selfish child-free ignoramus.
Stop talking about me through you.

...

I agree with a lot of the "WTF?" comments on this thread. This topic makes my blood boil.
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Old 10-09-2010, 11:28 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I don't really care. I like seeing pictures of people with names underneath them. Kids included.
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Old 10-09-2010, 01:18 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I'm a free wheeling bare butt narcissist who would post naked baby pictures of herself.

I worry more about, should I have hyphenated free-wheeling & bare-butt.

What's this "Vote Naked" campaign I hear about?

I say bring on the gawky acne puberty pics too. 'It's just us here people' folks,
dead & gone in a few blinks. Yowza.

I can only imagine about the having children thing, & if the moms & dads are that into it & happy,
I'm not going to rain on their joy. I don't do baby showers though.

Last edited by ring; 10-09-2010 at 01:25 PM..
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Old 10-10-2010, 02:25 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Yeah, narcissism is a tough hobby for me. I was even uglier as a child.

And keep pictures of your booger-eaters to yourself, I say.
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Old 10-10-2010, 02:56 AM   #11 (permalink)
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say Plan9..want to befriend me on FB?

ive got plenty of of baby-booger pics to share with you.

WARNING: Befriending me can ruin your employment chances
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Old 10-10-2010, 03:09 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Turns out I don't have Facebook.

How have you missed my rants?
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Old 10-10-2010, 10:04 AM   #13 (permalink)
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What is anybody afraid of?
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Old 10-10-2010, 12:51 PM   #14 (permalink)
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If I had kids, I would Never show pics of them online. Never - Ever. And I seldom use the word "Never".

Luckily I don't have kids, and that's by choice BTW...and it's one less major worry for me and my family. There are far too many freaks out there who have their own reasons to create pain for others. Online forums & facebook just make it all the easier.
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Old 10-10-2010, 01:36 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I post photos of my daughter on facebook, in my flickr account and occasionally on my blog. I've even posted photos of her here. She is a part of my life - a very significant part of my life and photography is my chosen hobby. I choose not to indulge in the fearful 'perverts on the internet' meme. I mean, come on, to follow through in an honest way one would have to not let their child ever leave the house. Internet demographics are fairly much in direct proportion to society in this day and age.

I do have my facebook account privileges set to 'friends only' for everything...not because I am fearful of other people seeing my photos, but because there's no reason for someone I don't know to have access to the material I have uploaded there.
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Old 10-10-2010, 07:45 PM   #16 (permalink)
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It is kinda annoying when you are searching on facebook if the user's image is not them. It is also annoying if it is a family shot. Trying to see if you recognise someone from a thumbnailed family photo is crap.

With respect to posting kids pics - this is one of the main functions of facebook - sharing pictures with friends - whether it is your kids or otherwise. This is a definite need to think about what you are posting, but that doesn't mean not posting any pictures at all.
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:49 PM   #17 (permalink)
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My old lady has posted pics of our daughter on FB and tagged my name to them- which irritates me to no end. On my own end, my FB profile pic was always of me, or my daughter and me only.

I speak of my FB account in the past tense, because I recently deactivated it- and am much happier for it.
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:58 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I post pictures of my kids on FB. I really don't have an issues with it (clearly).

That said, I have set my privacy setting on my photos (and the rest of my profile as well) to only show photos to my friends (i.e. not friends of friends or others).

Welcome to the future. Privacy is a lot different here. Get used to it.
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Old 05-10-2011, 08:46 PM   #19 (permalink)
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We now have a top level domain family blog with constantly updated pictures of the whole family and our adventures, including those of our two girls.
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Old 05-11-2011, 01:29 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I dont use pictures of my dogs - one of them wrote an article that was published in a local paper last year - advice for potential dog owners. I would have loved to have put a photo of him - perhaps with glasses and a quill in his paw - but I would have feared putting one of my animals at risk, putting my friend and companion at risk. Perhaps when deciding what childrens pictures you want to put out there as a proud parent, you should pause for a moment and remember your own parents advancing on people with cringe worthy (to you) photos of you which they find cute or funny. Remember. When you are in the twilight home for the mentaly incompetent - they will be in a position to get even. There will be moments in your decline you would rather, I suspect, keep an air of mystery over.
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:23 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedmedia View Post
I do have my facebook account privileges set to 'friends only' for everything...not because I am fearful of other people seeing my photos, but because there's no reason for someone I don't know to have access to the material I have uploaded there.
And, BTW, my kids were never embarrassed by their baby booty shots.
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:20 AM   #22 (permalink)
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jewels - they are lucky (although you still have time). My mothers favorite was to drag out a picture of me on a potty to show around - ike to boyfriends. The photos my son has me hide are the school shots with acne.
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:21 AM   #23 (permalink)
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And then there's that issue of GPS-tagged photos via smartphones. You know, that thing that could allow strangers to pinpoint the location of photo-takers via the photos themselves.
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Old 05-11-2011, 03:32 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru View Post
And then there's that issue of GPS-tagged photos via smartphones. You know, that thing that could allow strangers to pinpoint the location of photo-takers via the photos themselves.
That is a separate issue. The photos themselves are not the issue at all.
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Old 05-11-2011, 03:40 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Charlatan View Post
That is a separate issue. The photos themselves are not the issue at all.
At all?
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:28 PM   #26 (permalink)
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I don't really think so, no. No more than posting a picture of yourself.
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:34 PM   #27 (permalink)
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I don't see anything wrong with posting pics of one's kids in general, so long as the pics are clothed, and not likely to be embarrassing to the kid later in life.

But I have to say I really hate people who post pics of their kids as their profile pic on FB. That to me just says "I have no identity. I hope this child will have one for me."

And while I don't think there's anything wrong with posting family pictures, I'm sorry, but nobody needs to see a couple of dozen weekly pic updates about the daily life of your little kid. Post, don't flood. I get it, you're a happy and proud parent. I'm glad for you. Mazel tov. Now get a grip.
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:59 PM   #28 (permalink)
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For several of my FB friends, Facebook kind of is "Kidsbook." Beyond the profile pics, you get kids being the topic of 99% of status updates. The only exception is on Mother's Day, when it's about how awesome and sacred it is being a mother.
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:36 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Again, it's a different issue than the issue of posting pictures.

There are many (too many) people who only live for their kids. As with everything, it should be a balance. Too much of anything is a bad thing.
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Old 05-12-2011, 08:18 AM   #30 (permalink)
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I don’t see any reason to post my children online and yes, I feel it is annoying to be bombarded with other people’s personal pics. I become infuriated when other people tag my sons, without my permission, as well. I have a very private file for my children on my fb page, which is designated specifically for my family and close friends. I can’t imagine why anyone else would want to scroll through another redundant Disney file. I am private, by nature, and do not wish to make it easier for the voyeurs of the world to pilfer through my family’s business. There is always some stratetegy behind what I post. It is never a random unload of the mundane, as I try to remain sensitive to and aware of those on the receiving end.

I have very limited photos of my personal life posted online. I’ve managed to keep my SO secret for years, so much so, that a few of my friends have insinuated that he doesn’t even exist. This does not mean I am not proud or that I don’t care about them. I am simply trying to protect them and preserve some necessary boundaries that tend to get blurred amidst a sea of photos.

As far as maintaining your own identity separate from your children, this is easier said than done. Not losing onesself in the process of childrearing has become a personal challenge of mine, and certainly that of countless others. But, I do find the need to over share to be somewhat endearing, as it is usually done with good intentions. I just feel that being elusive is more compelling and safer than being exposed. So, we are hiding out.

I’ve always felt that ultrasound pics, in general, are the ultimate invasion of the most sacred of all spaces.

What’s next? Photos of the winning sperm?

“ Isn’t he ADORABLE?”
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Old 05-12-2011, 09:08 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by lunxpress View Post
I’ve always felt that ultrasound pics, in general, are the ultimate invasion of the most sacred of all spaces.
Indeed. A couple of my friends recently used those 3D ultrasounds as their profile pics, and while I understand why they love them, to everyone else, it was just CREEPY.
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:10 PM   #32 (permalink)
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I think lunxpress points out something that we have discussed here in the past, the division between online life and real life*. Facebook, more than any other site previously, brought my real life online. Places like TFP, when I first started hanging out here in 2003, were places to be anonymous.

Life online was one that we kept sheltered, largely, from our activities in real life. We hide behind avatars and nicknames. We also tended to engage with others in ways that in real life, we never would (anything from hot political discussion and flaming to flirtatious behaviour and out and out cybersex). With the advent of Facebook (and, yes, there are other sites that fall into this category but Facebook is the one that brought us over the tipping point) our real life came online.

For me, this was initially an issue. I didn't want my real life friends and family to have any clue about TFP and vice versa. I would not befriend TFP friends on Facebook. The mashing of the two, and more importantly, the possibility of some real life people discovering things that I may have posted on TFP was not cool.

As Facebook became a bigger part of my online experience, I ceased to care about this distinction. I still don't encourage, or really want, real life friends to discover TFP but I am not so fussed if they do.

Let's face it, the wild west days of the anonymous Internet are gone. Privacy, is not the same (if it ever was) as it was. Technology is changing us in many ways but especially in our social interactions. You can fight it but you can't escape it and you certainly can't go back to the way it was. It is more important now to learn how to filter and direct the flow of your information than try to stop it.



* I do see online life as real life but am making this distinction of real vs. online for ease of discussion
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Old 05-13-2011, 08:52 AM   #33 (permalink)
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I like that term, "winning sperm." We're all pictures of winning sperm. My head is still swimming. Perverts should not control our lives. We give them that power why?
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Old 05-21-2011, 10:40 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hunnychile View Post
If I had kids, I would Never show pics of them online. Never - Ever. And I seldom use the word "Never".

Luckily I don't have kids, and that's by choice BTW...and it's one less major worry for me and my family. There are far too many freaks out there who have their own reasons to create pain for others. Online forums & facebook just make it all the easier.
Yeah, done and done. Never is the appropriate term. If they (or anyone) want to post pics online of themselves, that's their prerogative but i'm not ever going to post pics of my daughter b/c our intimate moments are ours, not to be shared. Plus I don't want any weirdos looking at my baby daughter....no.

I don't even have Facebook as I think the whole think is kinda stupid anyway. Not that this is that thread

---------- Post added at 01:37 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:36 AM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by CinnamonGirl View Post
Indeed. A couple of my friends recently used those 3D ultrasounds as their profile pics, and while I understand why they love them, to everyone else, it was just CREEPY.
haha yeah those are creepy!

---------- Post added at 01:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:37 AM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru View Post
And then there's that issue of GPS-tagged photos via smartphones. You know, that thing that could allow strangers to pinpoint the location of photo-takers via the photos themselves.
yeah, I've heard people talk about websites that track when people "check in" at other places and show that they are away from there homes so people can break in. I'm much too lazy to investigate the truth of the matter ,but even if there's not an actual site that gathers the data, I still think it's stupid to tip your hand too much.


MULTIPOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-23-2011, 12:28 AM   #35 (permalink)
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I think that people need to use discretion when posting these picture on the WORLD WIDE WEB. Ya, it's great to have a few random pictures of your kid...whatever. But seriously, you don't need 18 million folders of them and you need to make sure that is is appropriate. I don't care how private your profile is. Facebook is tricky and strangers are creepy.

A friend of mine has pictures of her daughter butt ass naked all over facebook. easily 30 or 40 pictures of the kid just running around and playing. It's cute to show family, but your 4 year old shouldn't be plastered on the internet
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