Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > General Discussion

LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-08-2003, 07:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
Meridae'n's Avatar
Location: North Bondi RSL
Mail order brides...

Some blokes in wealthier countries use a service to meet several women in poorer countries. If he finds one that pleases him, and she reciprocates, they may get married. Happy ending.

Then they usually live in his country. Sometimes the marriages work out. Sometimes they don't...

Often the women in these relationships are accused of being gold-diggers, who will stay married just long enough to secure permanent visa status here in the US, for example. Often the men in these relationships are emotionally insecure. Sometimes they are abusive to their new wives. In Australia there have been two high-profile murders of mail order brides in the last 3 years.

And even in cases where they are not malevolent, each of the parties involved may have unreasonable expectations for the relationship.

Legislators have proposed requiring background checks to all men who participate in the service to provide fair warning to perspective brides, or shutting down the industry altogether.

In many of these cultures, marriage is much more important than it is to us over here. Included with that is an inherent desirability of the people that want to leave of American men. They and their children will get a better, more stable lives. Is the want any different for any woman seeking a husband, conversely, any different for men seeking women with the same qualifications?

What do you think?
What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?
Meridae'n is offline  
Old 07-08-2003, 07:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
Location: West Lafayette, IN
I don't think they need to legislate something like this. If a guy wants to ship his dates in from other countries, and is willing to marry them, then it's his perogative. I am sure governments have something more important to worry about...at least I would hope they do.
Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.
tikki is offline  
Old 07-08-2003, 07:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
papermachesatan's Avatar
Location: Texas
Originally posted by tikki
I don't think they need to legislate something like this. If a guy wants to ship his dates in from other countries, and is willing to marry them, then it's his perogative. I am sure governments have something more important to worry about...at least I would hope they do.
They're proposing to legislate to prevent things like this:

Originally posted by Meridae'n
Sometimes they are abusive to their new wives. In Australia there have been two high-profile murders of mail order brides in the last 3 years.
papermachesatan is offline  
Old 07-08-2003, 08:29 PM   #4 (permalink)
Location: West Lafayette, IN
Originally posted by papermachesatan
They're proposing to legislate to prevent things like this:
It is not good policy to legislate just because of two incidents. Laws do not solve everything.
Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.
tikki is offline  
Old 07-09-2003, 12:40 AM   #5 (permalink)
Reese's Avatar
What's the difference in this and some moron being abusive to his wife thats originally from his country. Maybe they should just background check every man before letting them get married. This is dumb and shouldn't even be considered. Thats just my opinion.
“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry
Reese is offline  
Old 07-09-2003, 12:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
Practical Anarchist
Location: Yesterday i woke up stuck in hollywood
i think the laws about should be somthing like the laws about being a surregate(sp?) mother. Mainly becuase the laws about that are very strange and confusing and no one really understands how they work...
The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

YourNeverThere is offline  
Old 07-09-2003, 02:44 AM   #7 (permalink)
Location: Scotland
Hi Meridae'n,

That's an interesting point. IMHO the basic drive is procreation. The male is biased toward a female who can bear and raise young (HIS young). Thus the male finds youth, fitness, slim waist (no other children), firm buttocks and legs, and large firm breasts (food) attractive. In effect someone who'll pop out loads of little copies of himself(!!). The female is attracted (read finds desirable) a male who's patently able to provide well for her children, and that's where it starts to get complicated.

In some ways, the female preferences kind of mirror the males. Height, youth, fitness, physical bulk (muscle) satisfies the attraction in terms of a "hunter gatherer", but in modern times such a male is not neccessarily the "pack leader". today wealth, and power in themselves make a male desirable sexually because of the perceived ability to provide for the female's young. (Doesn't this explain the ability of old ugly politicians to bed young nubile women).

Now apply this to any "third world" country's females. Any "first world" male who can afford to travel to such a country, while he may be only averagely well off in his own country will appear rich in terms of the host country. firstly he is a tourist and even if he's survived on dry bread for 3 years to save up for his vacation, now he's there he thinks nothing of spending a months local earnings on a single nights hotel bill, He'll be both profligate and conspicuous in his spending. The local hotel and service industry staff serve him (he's spending money, relatively lots of money of course) and thus the impression is wealth AND power (pack leader).

There you go, sexual attraction without having to be sexually attractive. In my travels over the years I have noticed what seems to be an ubiquitous rumour among "third world females (even females from a relatively third world country) to the effect that "first world" men are better endowed. In effect that "White / Occidentals have bigger cocks, better lovers, know "how to treat a lady". It's not true, but it's handy to justify the attraction towards apparently wealthier, more powerful males.

The "Mail Order Bride" companies trade on this by offering introductions between "third world" females (who pay a fee) and "first world" males of sufficient affluence (to travel to the third world country several times AND pay the agency's fee). Often the agency's only screening method is to establish that the male can pay the $x,000 for the introduction fees, hotel fees and the 3 or 4 airline tickets he'll use on his visits. This is usually only offered as a package, so the male would pay, say $30,000 all inclusive, the girl, say $100 - $500. Both want this thing to work, after all, they've paid a lot for this.

So now we have a collection of (frankly slightly desperate) "first world" males and "third world" females thrown together for a brief period, each with their own agenda. The girl's been promised a selection of affluent foreigners looking for love ('cos the women in his own country don't appreciate their men), and the man's been promised a selection of nubile native girls "gaggin' for it". At least the "nubile" part's usually true.

As such, the girl's offered not just the man, but the whole "better life" deal which is what makes the middle-aged "first world" telephone linesman (e.g.) so primae facie attractive.

Only when they marry and the girl moves off to her "better life" does reality set in. The man isn't as affluent or powerful in his own country as he seemed in hers, so his sexual attractiveness reduces (let's face it - he's probably gone for this deal 'cos he can't get or keep a woman in his own country). The girl's gone moody, homesick, doesn't "put out" as promised, and all his mates are laughing behind his back at his "having to go away to buy a woman".

It takes a genuine understanding, committment and a desire to make this work to overcome all the problems associated with a cross cultural marriage, particularly one based on short term romance.

Of course the vast majority of these "mail order" marriages don't work. I suspect that none of them actually work as envisaged by both parties and whether an individual "mail order" marriage works depends on how "flexible" the bride and groom are with regard to their expectations. The reason for this is the "introduction agencies (remember - the ones making a $hitload of money out of this) who're promising the parties "The Sun, The Moon, and The Stars", but only delivering a ball of mud.

Of course you'l never adequately regulate these agencies, or stamp them out. Perhaps the only way to screen these marriages out would be to refuse to recognise a marriage where both parties have not provided proof of "close geographical habitation" for a continuous period of at least 6 months in the past 2 years. By close geographical habitation I mean the same country or within 200kM of each other. At least in that way there's some indication that the couple have actually had opportunity to get to know each other.

miked10270 is offline  
Old 07-09-2003, 08:02 AM   #8 (permalink)
cchris's Avatar
Location: Sydney
Meeting online,searching a soulmate from another country,or indeed seeking your partner through means other than "whatever is normal these days" is up to the individual.
The subject matter is very relevant to Australia due to the "supposed" high rate at which our Country involves itself with "Mail order brides".
Finding a partner through these avenues is percieved as "not normal".

Thats the quandary.

Personally,I am of the view that it is a non-issue.

The more we judge,the more we stereotype.

I am rich.
Come here for better life.
I have none.

I am dumb.
Will milk you plenty.
I am smart.

On my way.

There is no answer.
There's a fine line between participation and mockery

Last edited by cchris; 07-09-2003 at 08:07 AM..
cchris is offline  

brides, mail, order

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:50 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360