Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > General Discussion

LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-07-2010, 08:15 AM   #1 (permalink)
Redlemon's Avatar
Location: New England
Funny, Strange or Just Plain Weird Childhood Beliefs

Yes, I'm branching off of the thread http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/general...ood-fears.html, but I'd been considering this one for a while anyways.

What sort of things do you remember believing as a child that turned out to be entirely made up?

(Please, do not make this a political thread. I don't want to hear things like "I believed that policemen are good", or "The government is here to help me.")

I grew up in Massachusetts, and for some reason, I was positive that my family had taken a trip to Denmark. I was discussing this with my mom recently, and it turns out that we had visited Cape Cod. I have no idea where Denmark came from; we never visited Europe as a family.

My friend grew up in a well-off part of Long Island, and only discovered after college that the white puffy weeds are also dandelions. They never lasted past the yellow stage in his neighborhood.
I can't read your signature. Sorry.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 11-07-2010, 02:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
amonkie's Avatar
Location: Windy City
As a kid I had a babysitter who told me that Hush puppies the food were really ground up hush puppy shoes, that had been fried. I don't know why I believed her, but it took 20 years before I ever had my first hush puppy from Long John Silver's and was able to quelch that myth.
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
amonkie is offline  
Old 11-07-2010, 02:18 PM   #3 (permalink)
Very Insignificant Pawn
Location: Amsterdam, NL
When I was young I thought shyness was a good trait.
flat5 is offline  
Old 11-07-2010, 03:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
Ice|Burn's Avatar
Location: California
When I was a kid (until I was like 9 or 10) I thought horse radish had actual horses in it.
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -Stephen F. Roberts

Ice|Burn is offline  
Old 11-07-2010, 04:01 PM   #5 (permalink)
amonkie's Avatar
Location: Windy City
Originally Posted by Ice|Burn View Post
When I was a kid (until I was like 9 or 10) I thought horse radish had actual horses in it.

I had this one too! My grandparents had a horse farm and I was always afraid I might be eating a horse.
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
amonkie is offline  
Old 11-07-2010, 04:01 PM   #6 (permalink)
Nepenthes's Avatar
Location: New England, USA
Speaking of horses, I thought MacDonald's hamburgers were made with some horsemeat which made them taste different from normal beef hamburgers.
Nepenthes is offline  
Old 11-07-2010, 08:53 PM   #7 (permalink)
When I was very small my family had been to the beach and when we came back I asked my father how many grains of sand there were in the whole world. He said he didn't know about the whole world but told me a very large number which was the amount of grains there was in the UK. He said he knew because when he was younger, he had a job counting all the sand on all the beaches in the country. For a long time I believed him and had a very clear picture in my head of him on his hands and knees, on a beach counting each and every grain of sand. I remember thinking well, as a job that kind of sucks but someone's got to do it otherwise we wouldn't know how much sand there was.
oliver9184 is offline  
Old 11-07-2010, 09:05 PM   #8 (permalink)
She's Actual Size
CinnamonGirl's Avatar
Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
A combination of watching The Christmas Toy and my uncle, who liked to move my Cabbage Patch doll around when I left the room, had me convinced that my toys came to life when I wasn't looking. I would have heartfelt conversations with my dolls, telling them it was okay for them to "reveal" themselves to me, and I promised not to tell anyone if they did.

....it never worked. Or maybe they just didn't believe me.
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
CinnamonGirl is offline  
Old 11-08-2010, 03:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
Location: Portland, OR
I was told that on Jesus's birthday a large fellow in a red and white jacket flew around neighborhoods via reindeer sleigh and dropped into houses through their chimneys to leave presents for children. My parents said it was nice to leave cookies for him, but he never ate more than part of the cookies because he had many more houses to visit. My parents said that I could finish them off, but I thought that was gross.. Why would you finish a cookie somebody else started, especially somebody who had been crawling through chimneys all night? I don't want a partially eaten cookie picked up with a chimney tar-covered glove.
Still, everybody seemed okay with it, because everybody got a free gift unless they were bad, so I played along. Then one year I asked a friend what he was getting, but he wasn't sure what I was talking about. I didn't know Santa thought Jews were bad.
passthru is offline  
Old 11-08-2010, 03:45 PM   #10 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
uncle phil's Avatar
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
i grew up with horses, rode them every day since i was about five years old...

when i was seven, i was thrown after we hit a car and broke my neck...

continued to ride for a number of years after the third vertabra healed...

used to see these things growing out of horse manure piles - dad said they were mushrooms...

to this day, i get physically ill when i even smell mushrooms...

and dogshit..
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Last edited by uncle phil; 11-08-2010 at 05:12 PM..
uncle phil is offline  
Old 11-08-2010, 04:06 PM   #11 (permalink)
ring's Avatar
Location: ❤
I wonder if they were Shaggy Mane mushrooms.

My great-aunt Loretta always made poppy seed cake.
When I was 7, my older cousins told me it was really ant-head cake.
I didn't mind. I thought to myself: "My, ant-heads are tasty."
A year later I figured it out. To this day, the family calls it ant-head cake,
even great-ant, Loretta.
ring is offline  
Old 11-08-2010, 09:12 PM   #12 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
Fremen's Avatar
Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
When I was a kid I thought black people's shit must be white.
Fremen is offline  
Old 11-09-2010, 12:25 AM   #13 (permalink)
Wes Mantooth's Avatar
Location: Tennessee
I was thinking about following up my other thread with this exact same topic! Good call Redlemon

I recall when I was really young that I thought babies were made strictly from kissing. Now somewhere along the line I worked out that a man and women were needed in the process and of course it only made sense that something had to be exchanged between the two for anything to happen (I hadn't worked out what that was yet), I thought for sure it must be the most repulsive thing people could possibly do and made up my mind that I'd never have kids or do that kissing thing with anybody. Yeah I'm glad that one was entirely made up.

I also remember thinking the people on TV were in the TV and spent many hours as a small child staring at the back of the television wondering how I could get inside. After an unrelated broken glass incident, involving my brother I figured out that the front of the tv, being glass, would break in the same way and I could climb inside and hang out with all my favorite tv pals. My Dad recently told me he still gets a chuckle out of having to wrestle a block out of my hand after he caught me pounding away unsuccessfully on the TV screen. I guess thats probably a pretty common one though.

I also believed that if I ate m&m's I'd shrink down very small and nobody could see me...which in my mind was somehow the same as crawling under the bed. I was convinced that the perspective of peering out from under the bed meant that I was small enough that nobody could see me and of course it would be a great hiding place if I ever got in any trouble. So of course the next time the shit hit the fan, I hit my secret stash of m&ms, shrunk and went into hiding...I found out pretty quickly that the science behind that one wasn't very sound.

Anyway fun and interesting thread so far folks, I enjoyed it.
“My god I must have missed it...its hell down here!”
Wes Mantooth is offline  
Old 11-09-2010, 05:48 AM   #14 (permalink)
People in masks cannot be trusted
Xazy's Avatar
Location: NYC
I did not like chicken, one time we were in at Grossinger a resort in the catskills and I loved their chicken. For a few years my family lied to me weekly and told me that they had ordered special Grossinger chicken.
Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Xazy is offline  
Old 11-09-2010, 07:23 AM   #15 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
Cynthetiq's Avatar
Location: Manhattan, NY
I would never drink milk and then orange juice because that is how you made American cheese.
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
Old 11-09-2010, 09:48 AM   #16 (permalink)
i used to think that doctors were nurses who had been promoted.
helix_luco is offline  
Old 11-13-2010, 08:17 PM   #17 (permalink)
Location: Here
My alleged friend told me that the artists who made records, were actually living inside the record player. I sat there, while listening to The Sound of Music, imagining the lives of the mini Von Trapps, and how incredibly dark (and cramped) it must be for them all in there.

Nearly took an ax to the thing in the 80's to get a piece of Bon Jovi.
lunxpress is offline  
Old 11-15-2010, 06:33 AM   #18 (permalink)
MiSo's Avatar
i thought if i swallowed watermelon seeds... a watermelon would grow in my stomach.
- this space for rent -
MiSo is offline  
Old 11-16-2010, 08:01 AM   #19 (permalink)
Redlemon's Avatar
Location: New England
Originally Posted by MiSo View Post
i thought if i swallowed watermelon seeds... a watermelon would grow in my stomach.
Oh, right, and if you swallow gum, it'll stay in your stomach for SEVEN YEARS!
I can't read your signature. Sorry.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 11-17-2010, 10:49 PM   #20 (permalink)
But You'll Never Prove It.
ItWasMe's Avatar
Location: under your bed
When mom pulled the plug on a bath tub full of water, I was sure I could get sucked down the drain like a soggy spaghetti noodle and be gone forever. Especially when the drain started making that dreaded *sssccchhhllluuurrrppp!!!* noise.

Interestingly, I was not afraid of showers.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

Last edited by ItWasMe; 11-17-2010 at 10:50 PM.. Reason: I mis spelled sssccchhhllluuurrrppp
ItWasMe is offline  
Old 12-07-2010, 06:36 AM   #21 (permalink)
Redlemon's Avatar
Location: New England
Just remembered two more.

I was sure that the pushbutton at crosswalks counted how many times it was pressed, so that it would know how many people were waiting to cross, and would change the light to "Walk" if there were lots of people. As I got older, I realized that it wouldn't register as multiple people if you pressed it in a regular frequent pattern, so I would then stagger the presses every few seconds to trick it.

After I understood about the sun travelling around the earth, but before I understood about time zones, I thought that each town set the time based on noon being exactly when the sun was at its peak in the sky. This explained why the clock on the bank sign a couple towns over didn't match the time on my watch; that town was a couple of minutes behind my town.
I can't read your signature. Sorry.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 12-07-2010, 07:01 AM   #22 (permalink)
Location: Backwoods, Ky
I remember watching a movie where rats and snakes came out of toilets....After that I always had to turn on the light when I used the bathroom at night, I wasn't gonna risk something biting me on the ass....
jadangel is offline  

beliefs, childhood, funny, plain, strange, weird

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:50 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360