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Old 11-09-2010, 10:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
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How Well Do You See Your Own Flaws?

I was hitting random links and ran into this link (Linky) under the title "The 10 Types Of Emotional Cripples". I browsed through the linky article til I found the generalized emotional type that matched my own flaw set (I'm "The Eeyore", which cinn found funny).

It made me wonder, how well do we see our own flaws? Can you see the flaws that you carry or do you depend on the (wanted/unwanted) opinions of others?

One my own flaws is that I see the worse were there is none, so I see flaws that are not even there. I usually have to have someone tell me it's not all darkness and rainclouds.

What about you? Can you see the flaws in yourself? Do you try and work on them when you realize them? Do you only see the bright side of life? Genius or Not A Genius (TM)? What do you bring to the table?
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Old 11-09-2010, 11:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I think I'm pretty honest about myself, yes. I know I tend to be a tad independent and keep my thoughts to myself, and I often think I'm the one who has to fix something. As a manager the toughest thing to learn for me was to delegate responsibly without thinking I had to do it all.

I take criticism pretty well I believe. I learned a lot about myself from a previous boss who was amazingly observant about people, and honest about what she saw.
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Old 11-09-2010, 11:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Boy, do I see my flaws.
Do I work on them? Not really.
I haven't really had an incentive to change them in my life.
I've been called an asshole twice this year, once by my mother.
So yeah, I NEED to change, but it's easier to stay in the rut I'm in.
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Old 11-09-2010, 11:49 PM   #4 (permalink)
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When I'm having self-esteem problems, I overcompensate with my inflated ego.

I have an unhealthy relationship with food and I probably always will.

I've never fully recovered from The Big Break-up.
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Old 11-09-2010, 11:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I hope I see my flaws. I've done a lot of self-work in my life, and I still have a regular practice of introspective meditation and spiritual self-analysis.

But one never knows. Among my flaws have been pride and ego; which I hope I have gotten under control, but if I haven't, then they might well blind me to my lack of mastery over other flaws.
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Old 11-10-2010, 12:06 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I try to see my own flaws but I know that aren't always that apparent or easy to recognize and actually don't really mind criticism that much...or course having said that I don't always react in the best way possible when I think its unwarranted or worse uninvited. When I do recognize my own flaws or have them pointed out to me I do try to change them as best I can if I think its a problem. I don't know, I don't always feel like flaws are a bad thing, they do make you what you are after all and striving for perfection just seems like a waste of time to me...sometimes it feels like people focus on them way to often.

So what if I'm a bit of a slob? Or I demand the most out of those who work for me and tend to be overbearing and mean when I do it? So what if I drink and smoke to much?

Do I see the bright side of life? I guess I try to be as optimistic as possible because I just can't deal with doom and gloom all the time, but I also tend to be a realist and understand that not everything is rainbows and sunshine.

I most certainly wouldn't consider myself a genius.

I guess I bring me to the table flaws and all, people can either take it or leave it.
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Old 11-10-2010, 12:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden View Post
I was hitting random links and ran into this link (Linky) under the title "The 10 Types Of Emotional Cripples". I browsed through the linky article til I found the generalized emotional type that matched my own flaw set (I'm "The Eeyore", which cinn found funny).
Male emotional cripples. Dating advice. Written by women. Okay, I can run with this light-hearted misandry. Generalizations... good times. So, yeah, based on the horoscope-style vague descriptions, I'm a bit of a bipolar slide 9 (alternating between extremes of wanting to engage in a dozen threesomes and wanting to get married and buy another house time now, how copy over?) and a bit of slide 11 (but only in the sense that I'm totally overcompensating for past dumbassitry in a vaguely religious sense like it somehow matters). I'm not crippled, I'm Mr. Jitterpaws! Can I fold my socks, already? Can I-Can I-Can I?! If emotional baggage is something you carry with you, my baggage is moving pretty fast. I'm doing quite well in life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden
It made me wonder, how well do we see our own flaws? Can you see the flaws that you carry or do you depend on the (wanted/unwanted) opinions of others?
I don't have flaws, I have "personality." I'm a cocky outspoken generic dumbass with poor writing skills and a propensity for being a glib, garrulous and gauche human cartoon. As an example, my purpose appears to be providing a lowbrow intermission between the intellectual posts here at TFP. My calling in life is to yell at groups of people and pack bags for Armageddon... and that usually spills over into whatever garbage I end up spewing. I'm demanding and impatient and I worry a lot of the most minor of details. I crave organization, both the act and endstate. I don't like messy things.

Others only serve to confirm these beliefs. My father said my head is up my ass, my exwife thinks I've got shell shock, and my NCOER said "Promote Immediately." I don't generally care what others think about me unless I have to work with them or fuck them. I don't mix the two for good reason.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden
One my own flaws is that I see the worse were there is none, so I see flaws that are not even there. I usually have to have someone tell me it's not all darkness and rainclouds.
Whatever, Sunshine. Which one of us was the cranky drunk, again? I was so grumpy I put banging your rowdy friend on the back burner to eat soggy pizza and drunk dial. And where the hell is she now that she's not driving you to Raleigh and leaving her tobacco-scented wardrobe in your kitchen?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden
What about you? Can you see the flaws in yourself? Do you try and work on them when you realize them? Do you only see the bright side of life? Genius or Not A Genius (TM)? What do you bring to the table?
I see what you did there. And, yeah, I bring dissent to the table. I'm Full Retard.

Recognition is the first step to recovery for some people. I just use it as an inventory.

I have these giant brass balls and a brain that couldn't power a baby crocodile.

My job in society is to make others look better. My beard is physical proof of this.
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Last edited by Plan9; 11-10-2010 at 12:36 AM..
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Old 11-10-2010, 07:09 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Flaws? What flaws? I am perfect.

No, seriously. I went through a job-related thing a few years ago now that really damaged my self-esteem, and suddenly I could see all of my flaws. Prior to that, I'd been supremely confident, high self-esteem, and seemingly unaware of my own shortcomings, especially when it came to my own ego. After having to eat a mighty large serving of humble pie, and admitting to myself I could have handled that better, I got on with my life.

In the meantime, I have built what I call my toolbox--a set of skills deliberately meant to counteract my flaws, i.e. better interpersonal communication skills. However, these skills disappear under the influence of alcohol, so I have to be careful
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Old 11-10-2010, 07:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I apparently have over-inflated sense of failure, and tend to exaggerate, to myself, all of my flaws. So, I see flaws, but they are probably not an accurate picture of how I am.
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Old 11-10-2010, 08:03 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I am FAR from perfect and I know it. I've really started working on a couple of my biggest issues - selfishness and poor communication - and it's not easy, but at least I'm trying. I'm finding the communication issue to be harder to overcome than the selfishness, I don't know why.
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Old 11-10-2010, 08:28 AM   #11 (permalink)
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i think i know my flaws pretty well, but i dont do much about it, which would normally be a problem for me, but at this stage in my life i just dont care whether people see my flaws or not
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Old 11-10-2010, 09:21 AM   #12 (permalink)
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With flaws aplenty, as long as I can cuddle in your fuzzy bosom, I don't feel them as such.
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Old 11-10-2010, 09:45 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I am a perfectionist, so flaws are an everyday part of my life. Many of my flaws are only visible to me, but to me they are glaring.
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Old 11-10-2010, 10:15 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordEden View Post
What about you? Can you see the flaws in yourself? Do you try and work on them when you realize them? Do you only see the bright side of life? Genius or Not A Genius (TM)? What do you bring to the table?
Of course I can see my flaws and I try to work on them on a daily basis. Sometimes I am able to counteract a flaw, but on a bad day, they just seem to flow right out. However, Yoga seems to have helped decrease the anxiety and negative moods, can you believe that?
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Old 11-10-2010, 10:28 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I don't have any flaws, I have a personality.

Some things I work on, most I just deal with. Being a crotchety old fart serves me well, most of the time. I do need to tone it down a bit at home.
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Old 11-13-2010, 08:07 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Flaws based on what standard of perfection? We all jump to admit to "flaws" that we think we have based on some unattainable model of excellence.

Why must we continue to apologize for who or what we are? Our biggest flaw is believing that we need to measure up to some media induced formula of beauty and rigid, outdated social graces. Anytime we feel some sense of achievement, the bar is raised to something even more farfetched and unreachable. It's designed to make us feel uneasy, so that we continue to consume.
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Old 11-13-2010, 09:52 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I refuse to fit into a cookie cutter personality mold. If that means my flaws are the pieces that stick out and don't fit in, then its the price I pay for feeling comfortable in my own skin.

That being said.. are there ways to more positively interact with the people around you? Absolutely. Are there aspects of my personality that may cause me grief in the future if I am not aware of how I make decisions because of them? Yes.

People change over time, and I am all about understanding what makes people tick. Knowing what shapes one's perspective and priorities goes a long way in evaluating what is a balanced personality for that person.
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Old 11-14-2010, 03:19 AM   #18 (permalink)
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fuzzy bosom?
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Old 11-14-2010, 06:26 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StanT View Post
I don't have any flaws, I have a personality.
Flaws are characteristics; they're what make us different and keep the world interesting. None of us are without nicks in our surfaces.

Do I have issues? Surely. I don't see them as flaws, though. They're more like opportunities for growth. And hell yeah, I do see 'em.
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Old 11-14-2010, 05:56 PM   #20 (permalink)
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It would be easy to gloss over my personality issues by saying something like "that's what makes me a unique snowflake!" but the truth is that they can cause me to hurt others without intending to or realizing it, and otherwise impede my happiness.
I try to make myself into a better person, but it's all so abstract and difficult to observe from the inside... Meanwhile, i'm still being chastised for my arrogance.
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Old 11-14-2010, 05:58 PM   #21 (permalink)
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My main flaw is that that guy in the mirror HATES a million little things about me.

Other than that, no, I kinda suck at identifying what's wrong with me, I figure that must be the case given my position in life at my age.
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Old 11-14-2010, 09:43 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Location: Seattle. WASHINGTON.
I want to say, I'm pretty irritated with that article. Not only does it highlight male-exclusive flaws (with a preface of, "WOMEN HAVE FLAWS TOO LOL we're just not going to talk about them"), but they're flaws pretty much everyone has some experience with. They don't make you an emotional "cripple." They just mean you're not a perfect human being.

Also, I'm pretty sure even the most clueless person in the world thinks they're aware of their own flaws. So it's impossible to weed out the genuinely self-aware from the delusional people.

Personally, I think I'm aware of a significant number of my own flaws, but if I was fully aware of everything wrong with me, I'd probably just end it all.

I'M UPLIFTING.
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Old 11-14-2010, 10:05 PM   #23 (permalink)
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I didn't wanna go too deep into the quizblog equivalent of shitty truckstop coffee, but why not? I've got all year, right?

Saying that people are flawed because of X is a little like saying a fork is just a flawed spoon. No. Different person, different purpose.

The things that allow people to be creative, analytical, organized, passionate, etc. aren't things that necessarily jive with everybody else.

The things that make me good at my job occasionally cause conflicts with Other People in The Real World. And that's okay with me.

You might appreciate his paintings, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want Van Gogh cutting off his ear in your apartment's guest room.

And as if it hasn't been proven by the Taco Bell spork, being a jack of all trades is pretty goddamn ineffective. Those things suck.

All this Dr. Phil shit kills me. "Flaws" and "character" and other things we use to put ourselves and others into neat little cubbies.

As with most things in life, I tend to think that as long as you aren't messing with anybody else you are free to be as weird as you want.

I realize that none of this is new and amazing. This is about a deep a revelation as the 101 Hot Sex Tips they feature in Cosmo every month.
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Last edited by Plan9; 11-14-2010 at 10:23 PM..
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Old 11-14-2010, 11:11 PM   #24 (permalink)
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I have flaws. I should work on fixing them.

From 'the list' I would say #8 :The Hero is me. I have a fairy tale fantasy of the type of relationship that I want. Could it happen, sure, but will it happen, I don't know. I'm one of those 'love is co-dependency' people. If we both 'need' each other, everything will be great.

I've always wanted a more fit body, yet I've never been that far from it. I will probably get there this winter with the training I'll be doing. I don't believe this has caused any problems in my life.

My time management skills are pretty bad. And I live on island time, yet am a thousand miles from the closest island.

I am delusional in thinking that the life plan that I came up with and followed perfectly for the past 20 years would lead to lots of relationships and close friendships. Sure, the people I work with are good, but I've always lived in places where you can blend into the background of people and there is always someone else a little better right next door.
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Old 11-16-2010, 07:19 PM   #25 (permalink)
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I see my own flaws, i strive to be a better person every day.
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Old 11-17-2010, 10:52 AM   #26 (permalink)
Upright
 
Yeah Im pretty realistic about my flaws. No point dwelling on them, but its good to acknowledge them.
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Old 11-17-2010, 02:11 PM   #27 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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I love you, too.

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fuzzy bosom?
Yeeyass, thinking laughing mine off might comprise another flaw.
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