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Old 07-26-2003, 06:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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what kind of trust do you have in people?

hm i dont know if anyone else has similar views..but itd be interesting to see if anyone else knows what im talking about....


for me its basically i trust people in a sense of what they say and that they will do what they say to the best of their abilities...

but i dont trust that they would be able to perform it 100% when it most matters...


hm let me expound:

i trust people with secrets, to do things they say they will do, etc...

but usually i never really expect them to keep that secret or do what they say to do 100% of the time. so if they come back to me and say "im sorry blablabla i told this 1 person" its no let down to me because i expected it sooner or later.

its not that i dont trust them, but i dont think that i know anyone that has the ability....like a type of endurance?

so if i was hanging off a 99 story cliff by the hand of a friend, i would trust that he would try to save my life,

but i dont think that he would be able too....

hm i hope it makes sense ^_^


`xavier
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Old 07-26-2003, 07:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I understand where you are coming from. If you want to keep a secret, don't tell anyone, because everyone tells someone.
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Old 07-26-2003, 10:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I used to trust people. After getting burnt too many times, I only trust my parents and a couple VERY close friends. It's a shame, because I wish I could trust more people.
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Old 07-26-2003, 10:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
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same as my chances of winning the powerball or megamillions lottery
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Old 07-26-2003, 10:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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What was the saying.....Three people can keep a secret.....if the first two are dead?

Something like that anyway.....

When it comes to deep dark secrets, of which I have a handful...maybe, I've learned to keep them to myself.

I know I'm not going to fuck myself over.

Does that make sense?

For all the rest, I eventually tell the little secrets, but only to folks who have no influence on the secret.

For instance, I'll tell my sister a secret about a co-worker because the chances of them meeting are small and insignificant.
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Old 07-27-2003, 06:17 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I have real problems trusting other people. I think part of it comes from having irresponsible parents that I couldn't count on to come through for me. Another part is having high standards that nobody, myself included, could possible live up to. I'm gradually un-learning these patterns, seeing them for the childish stories that they are, and learning to put trust in people. I think this also has a lot to do with my issues with "faith." I think you could probably equate "trust" in people with "faith" in people, and I require a lot of evidence before I will grant faith, which I suppose is quite contradictory.
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Old 07-27-2003, 07:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
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i watched too many X-files as a kid and consequently, "trust no one". No really, there a very few people i trust in this world. I can count them on one hand.
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Old 07-27-2003, 07:38 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I know exactly what you mean, pumpkin. While I'm a very trusting guy, and can have faith in the help of others, if I feel they are good people, I always avoid being dependent on a third party, and always know in the back of my mind that if something important needs doing, the best people to do it are me, myself, and I. (I also believe that an addendum to Murphy's Law factors into this somehow... I'll leave that to your imagination )

I also think that not trusting anyone but a very few people is an awfully grim and lonesome way of seeing the world. I got burned a few times myself, but I guess it wasn't enough to ruin my faith in people in general.
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Last edited by Nefir; 07-27-2003 at 07:40 AM..
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Old 07-27-2003, 08:05 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I trust myself and my dog. Probably more so the latter.
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Old 07-27-2003, 08:23 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by forseti-6
I used to trust people. After getting burnt too many times, I only trust my parents and a couple VERY close friends. It's a shame, because I wish I could trust more people.
Diddo for me,
especially lately, I don't know which way is up.
My instincts used to be very good,
but now I don't which way anyone is going to go.
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Old 07-27-2003, 08:39 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I trust myself. I've been burned too many times in the past. I've learned the best way to keep something secret is to never tell anyone.
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Old 07-27-2003, 11:01 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I trust my wife, some family members, and a handful of friends with my life.

Others, I can just trust that someone will do what they say they will. Do what they say and say what they mean.
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Old 07-27-2003, 11:10 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I don't trust anyone.


It's just that simple. I don't expect anything from anyone. That way I never get hurt. Life seems so much easier whan you stop paying to much attention.
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Old 07-27-2003, 11:12 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by guthmund
[B]When it comes to deep dark secrets, of which I have a handful...maybe, I've learned to keep them to myself.

I know I'm not going to fuck myself over.
Exactly. I keep the "good" secrets to myself.
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Old 07-27-2003, 12:04 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I don't trust humans in the slightest
Most the time I can't even trust myself
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Old 07-27-2003, 02:43 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Honestly, I haven't trusted anyone in years - not even myself.

I've fucked up enough, and been fucked over by the world enough, that until someone comes along, knocks me over, and changes the way I look at everything, I'm going to continue ignoring and distrusting everything.
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Old 07-27-2003, 02:45 PM   #17 (permalink)
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trust 'em to an extent. i dont give anyone my absolute trust.
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Old 07-27-2003, 03:13 PM   #18 (permalink)
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It isn't really that complicated.
Trustworthiness is a character trait that is clearly communicated.

Most people, you can't be close enough to to "trust" them with much.

Trustworthiness is one of the essential factors in allowing someone into my inner circle. Those people I trust implicitly.
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Old 07-27-2003, 10:04 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I agree with many here. There are only a couple of people that I feel I can trust completely and that seems like a sad commentary on the world we live in.
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Old 07-27-2003, 11:23 PM   #20 (permalink)
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trust no one
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Old 07-28-2003, 10:15 AM   #21 (permalink)
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I trust myself, my parents and my girlfriend. Beyond that, I simply don't know anyone well enough and for long enough to put that much confidence in their ability to be trusted. I'm not a bastard about it though. I'm always nice to people, I just never put faith in anyone unless I absolutely have to. Frankly I prefer life that way. I can still be a nice person and have my various friends without having to worry that someone will let me down in the end.
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Old 07-28-2003, 12:14 PM   #22 (permalink)
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im people as a whole, not a lot; in certain people, sometimes too much; in others as much as they give me, if not more.
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Old 07-28-2003, 12:52 PM   #23 (permalink)
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I trust very few.

What I like to do is test someone early on...see if they are truthful or can be trusted. Than my trust in them will alter depending on what occurs.

Getting burned one too many times has made me this way.
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Old 07-28-2003, 01:57 PM   #24 (permalink)
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trust? I don't even trust my closest friends.

everyone is human, ergo no one can be fully trusted

...but, i try not to keep secrets in the first place :-)
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Old 07-29-2003, 07:29 AM   #25 (permalink)
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i dont really trust people that much.
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Old 07-29-2003, 02:51 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nefir
I always avoid being dependent on a third party, and always know in the back of my mind that if something important needs doing, the best people to do it are me, myself, and I.
yea thats what i was trying to say !
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Old 07-29-2003, 04:55 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by bing bing
i watched too many X-files as a kid
Oh my GOD I feel old.

I want to post an actual response to this question, but suddenly I'm too depressed.
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Old 07-29-2003, 09:40 PM   #28 (permalink)
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I am not a very trusting person most of the time. I usually trust myself instead of others. I know that if I have a secret and I want to share it, that the person I share it with will feel the same way once they know my secret and also share it. Secrets are only secrets if you tell NOBODY and don't even write it down. We subconsciously want our secrets to be revealed most of the time so it is hard to keep it truely secret. As for trusting a friend to do something s/he said, I would trust that they would at least try to do it. It depends on the people really. Some people I feel are more trustworthy than others, just because I know enough about them to know their level of trustworthiness.
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:56 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I don't trust anybody as much as myself of course, but I have two close friends who I deeply trust. One of which I would fully trust to help me out of a bad situation if one arose, which is really something considering how independent I am. Interestingly, they are both generally considered by people who don't know them well to be greedy bastards who would be perfectly willing to take advantage of anyone. To put it in perspective, both of them used to be used car salesmen.

Seems like the friends I know who think everybody should be treated fairly and equally are the more untrustworthy ones. They give everyone the same mediocre treatment and while they aren't really bad friends, they for damn sure don't make very good ones either. But the people who have basically no regard for those who they don't care about tend to have extreme loyalty and respect for their friends. I think there's a socialism vs capitalism argument in ther somewhere.
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Old 07-30-2003, 04:50 AM   #30 (permalink)
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I trust people very easily, way too easily. It's going to fuck me someday. Oh well..
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Old 05-25-2004, 02:23 AM   #31 (permalink)
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i think trusting someone creates some level of obligation and a bond which implies a sort of commitment... and i can't deal with commitment

ironically, i can be more honest with a stranger, and/or a person who is not much of a close friend, because the consequences of getting burned are not as great as getting burned by someone within a closer circle of trust.
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Old 05-25-2004, 05:37 AM   #32 (permalink)
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A very wise person once told me "trust no one but yourself", and it's true.

I am a world class gossip, however, there's a difference between gossipable stuff and important stuff. There's some stuff that I have been told over the years, that I will take to my grave with me. Those close to me know that to, and if someone asks me not to tell something, I won't (there's been one exception to that rule over the years)
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Old 05-25-2004, 06:49 AM   #33 (permalink)
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I have been burned by those I have trusted in the past. I did not trust anyone for the longest time. However, now once someone gains my trust (this isn't easy), I am willing to trust them to various degrees.
Some form of trust is important in most relationships. Strangely enough, my boss is one of that close circle of trusted people. That and my family and various friends.
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Old 05-25-2004, 07:06 AM   #34 (permalink)
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I trust that the people I trust have good intentions.

I trust a couple of people more than others.

And there are a lot of people I don't trust.
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Old 05-25-2004, 08:08 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Im not sure if its more of a trust, or beleiving in of people that I have. I feel ppl will do as they say, and if they dont I generally dont feel hurt, just disapointed.

On the same note, I am the kind of person that people often find trusting. (And for good reason too, cuz I am.) I get told more things that I never want or need to hear just because they feel some connection of trust to me or somthing like that.
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Old 05-25-2004, 11:59 AM   #36 (permalink)
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I think trust is not only what I would tell other people and expect them to handle that knowledge as I request, but also that I can look at someone in the face and know that they are not telling me secrets or lies. There used to be one person I trusted beyond all doubt. Until one day it came to my attention that even this person has significiantly altered the actual truth. After being hurt by this person who was so close to me, I find myself now taking what people say at face value, and more than I used to thinking about how what they're saying could be something else. I hate that it's made me start second guessing people, but I don't know any other way to cope with the feeling of being vulnerable after I've let my defenses down.
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Old 05-25-2004, 12:02 PM   #37 (permalink)
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I tell people stuff that should be personal...however, my trust in humans isnt very strong. I don't like doing projects in groups because I'm afraid I'll be let down and get a bad grade, for example.
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Old 05-25-2004, 03:18 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by maleficent
A very wise person once told me "trust no one but yourself", and it's true.
sometimes (a lot of times), i don't even trust myself. i give different people varing amounts of trust...if that makes any sense. some people i don't trust at all. and as far as i know, i've learned to never fully trust anyone, not even myself.
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Old 05-26-2004, 10:47 PM   #39 (permalink)
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trust

I trust no one, everyone i have learned will either tell your secrets or use them to blackmail you, and you will walk around waiting for it to come back and bite you in the azz.

I trust my cats and dog, i tell them everything, for 2 major reasons.

1) they will listen attentively, and not interupt

2) they will NEVER tell ,nor will they EVER try to use it against you, and they will take it to their grave.

I have found that talking to my animals, it gets whatever is bugging me off of my chest, and it is a great strees releiver.

just my 2 cents worth.
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Old 05-27-2004, 01:42 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by The Original King
I don't trust anyone.
It's just that simple. I don't expect anything from anyone. That way I never get hurt. Life seems so much easier when you stop paying too much attention.
my thoughts basically

If I even do tell anybody a secret it's for 1 of 2 reasons

I either expect them to eventually tell it and get it known,
Or they are sufficiently removed from anybody or anything that is involved (preferably no common acquaintances and 1000 miles in between them and involved parties )
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