Truly useless inventions - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

tekaweni · 10-08-2003, 03:15 AM

Whats the most useless, utterly pointless invention you've seen?

I'm not talking parachutes that open on impact, solar-powered torches etc: I mean actual shit you can buy in the stores.

For me it's a battery-powered cellphone charger. I saw it this morning and was truly humbled.

If youre the kind of person who forgets to charge your phone, youre definitely not going to remember to carry this baby around with you, right?

johnnymysto · 10-08-2003, 04:52 AM

How about the Flip-Folder - that thing that helps you fold your clothes in 1-2-3 easy steps! Come on, do you really need something to fold your clothes? How about your HANDS!

platypus · 10-08-2003, 05:45 AM

Your basic kitchen store has the highest concentration of pointless gadgetry. Every food type has its very own specific slicer/dicer gadget.

There's the tomato/strawberry corer,

mushroom slicer,

egg slicer (with 3 slicing styles!),

apple slicer,

corn cutter,

bagel slicer.

It's endless. And pointless.

If you don't know how to work a simple kitchen knife, it's time to get out of the kitchen.

troit · 10-08-2003, 05:45 AM

Alright johnnymysto -- You peaked my curiousity and I just had to find one of these flip folders:

BTW -- I do agree with you. Unless you are handicap or just downright lazy.... this product has no use...

Cynthetiq · 10-08-2003, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by troit
Alright johnnymysto -- You peaked my curiousity and I just had to find one of these flip folders:

BTW -- I do agree with you. Unless you are handicap or just downright lazy.... this product has no use...

hey!!! I'm not lazy! I just cannot fold them so that the first is the same as the last... I honestly suck at folding... so instead of buying one of these...I send out my laundry and it comes back folded.... now if I could only get them to put the laundry away...

platypus · 10-08-2003, 05:51 AM

This has got to be the worst - the Coffee Filter Separator.

There's an entire website - complete with testimonials.

Filt-a-Pic

Testimonials?!?

Dear Filtapic:
I didn't realize that separating coffee filters was a problem until
a friend gave me a filtapic and I wont be without one again.
I ordered one to use at my camp, it has made separating the
filters so easy.

Give me a break.

Nisses · 10-08-2003, 06:02 AM

platypus: most of those items are actually highly useful, just not in the everyday kitchen. In a restaurant or a diner or whatever where they use fresh ingredients and the customer ask for something with alot of mushrooms you will save alot of time with that slicer
same for that corncutter

however if it's for the occasional use, then it's a bit sad

speaking of which, that coffee filter separator is hilarious

troit · 10-08-2003, 06:47 AM

Here are a few interesting ones I dug up:

Force Sensitive, Sound Playing Condom

Solar Powered Flashlight

Don't even know how to classify this one...
[IMG]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TADeAmoYRs8sAg!u*KZ!PaMoxaiTtA0mFT*UhqGgBJIzBAsd7VntmWEW6QkbJehdbGELA5TwLqOQiYNRXvQ3EZllwbnB47!LDafANvT7Ze2XFR1DZJEXHg/severe_cold.gif?dc=4675332061038519924[/IMG]

Or you could always take the quiz to find out what useless invention you are yourself:

http://quizilla.com/users/theworldly...ou%3F%3F%3F%20(as%20seen%20on%20tv)now%20with%20pics!!!

irseg · 10-08-2003, 06:47 AM

Most useless one I've seen lately: The Whirlpool Polara refrigerator/oven combination. http://polara.whirlpool.com/qa.html

Quote:

How does the Polara™ Refrigerated Range free busy homemakers in meal preparation?
The cook can place the dinner in the range anytime during a 24-hour period and program the unit to cool and then cook. After a programmed sequence ends, the unit will stay in warming mode for one hour at 170ºF. If the oven door is not opened during this warming period, at the end of the hour the unit will then automatically begin a cooling cycle that will last 24 hours or until the door is opened. This is to minimize chances of food spoilage. This feature can be turned off through a hidden function in the electronic control. By having these defaults, we free you from having to rush home to get dinner out of the oven or have it ruined.

HUH??? I'm a complete gadget/computer freak and that's a bit on the complex side for me, let alone a 45 year old housewife. I can't imagine anyone going through the trouble to use that.

gump · 10-08-2003, 07:07 AM

this is actually a handy device. its saved many people from cutting their hands while cutting the kernels off an ear of corn. you just run the ear over that blade there in the center and it cuts um right off. saves time and doctor bills.

gov135 · 10-08-2003, 07:44 AM

That tomato corer is an amazing waste of fifty cents.

But, so far as I can tell, platypus wins with the coffee filter seperator. That's one invention that should have stayed on the drawing board.

bermuDa · 10-08-2003, 08:23 AM

actually, the tomato corer is very useful in a professional kitchen, where you blanch lots of tomatoes and need to first remove the stem area.

Sledge · 10-08-2003, 09:08 AM

It's a hot dog slicer that chops it up curly, giving it tentacles. SO USEFUL

Actually, I take that back. The Octodog fucking rocks.

Mr. Mojo · 10-08-2003, 09:17 AM

That Flip Folder would make a great avatar...

Nimbletoe · 10-08-2003, 09:23 AM

Those stupid ab machines that you strap to your stomach and it contracts your stomach muscles. Dumbest. Thing. Ever.

jujueye · 10-08-2003, 09:59 AM

Any Luxury SUV.

Let's face it. Are Buffy and Reginauld really going to take that $60K vehicle to the top of a mountain? Are they really going to fill it with a shitload of 2x4s? Will they care if the wheel locks are automatic?

johnnymysto · 10-08-2003, 10:30 AM

I second that, jujueye. You buy an SUV so you can haul, trample, drag, pull, climb, or tote. You don't get one to cruise the strip and blow up da spot.

Redlemon · 10-08-2003, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jujueye
Any Luxury SUV.

My proposed legislation: if you have an SUV, you must do one of the following at least once a month:
* go off-road
* transport large dogs
* transport large sporting equipment

Violators will have their SUVs replaced with Yugos.

tekaweni · 10-08-2003, 11:18 AM

Here in London UK the only use I've ever seen a SUV put to is young hottie mothers driving the kiddies to school.

Midlandmadman · 10-10-2003, 10:08 AM

I'm not sure if it qualifies as an invention.... but, other than make the guy who started it some money... what exactly good was a pet rock?

battlemouth · 10-11-2003, 08:42 AM

why would you want your hotdog to have tentacles?

Sledge · 10-11-2003, 10:32 AM

Apparently, it is safer for young children, who sometimes choke on hot dogs.

bundy · 10-12-2003, 04:21 AM

now thats a great invention...

not all that sure about this one though...

first one is great, the second is just ridiculous.

Plummie · 10-12-2003, 06:44 AM

The Segway!!!

Yet one more invention designed to help Americans get and stay overweight.

Peryn · 10-12-2003, 08:23 AM

omg....that octodog is hilarious. i want one

battlemouth · 10-12-2003, 09:07 AM

the woman on the segway is attacking that poor man!

TinniT · 10-12-2003, 10:34 AM

the Chindogu hat has plenty of uses! If you're out in the woods you don't have to use a pine cone (yeesh!)

Anyway, if you wanna know a useless invention, how about Transparent ink.

I'd post a picture of it, but it wouldn't make much difference; you wouldn't be able to see it.

tekaweni · 10-12-2003, 11:01 AM

Yeah, the Segway was going to take over the world but seems it's been a bit of a fizzle. Wonder what happened?

debaser · 10-12-2003, 11:15 AM

Segway: Slightly faster than walking with none of that messy dignity...

Sixteen · 10-12-2003, 08:05 PM

lol, that cell phone charger got me laughing

I have a pic of a solar powered flashlight on my computer somewhere

CSflim · 10-13-2003, 02:02 AM

Ahhh...The japanese art of Chindogu.
The art of inventing almost, but not entirely, useless items.

Back Scratcher's T-Shirt
Communicate precisely to your partner where your itch is:

Sweetheart's Training Arm
Avoid the problem of sweaty hands with this training arm:

Eye Drop Funnel Glasses
Find it hard to put in eye drops? This is the product for you:

Wide Awake Eyeopener
This hat is a useful alternative to a caffine overdose:

Portable Office Tie
The ultimate in yuppiedom, transcends even the superbriefcase:

Heavy Smoker's Mask
Reduce cigarette breaks by a factor of fourteen, with this handy invention:

Daddy Nurser
Umm....I guess its a pretty good idea when you think about it...sorta...

10-08-2003, 03:15 AM	#1 (permalink)
tekaweni It wasnt me Location: Scotland	Truly useless inventions Whats the most useless, utterly pointless invention you've seen? I'm not talking parachutes that open on impact, solar-powered torches etc: I mean actual shit you can buy in the stores. For me it's a battery-powered cellphone charger. I saw it this morning and was truly humbled. If youre the kind of person who forgets to charge your phone, youre definitely not going to remember to carry this baby around with you, right? __________________ If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

10-08-2003, 04:52 AM	#2 (permalink)
johnnymysto Overreactor Location: South Ca'lina	How about the Flip-Folder - that thing that helps you fold your clothes in 1-2-3 easy steps! Come on, do you really need something to fold your clothes? How about your HANDS! __________________ "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." - Capt. Barbossa

10-08-2003, 05:45 AM	#3 (permalink)
platypus Essen meine kurze Hosen Location: NY Burbs	Your basic kitchen store has the highest concentration of pointless gadgetry. Every food type has its very own specific slicer/dicer gadget. There's the tomato/strawberry corer, mushroom slicer, egg slicer (with 3 slicing styles!), apple slicer, corn cutter, bagel slicer. It's endless. And pointless. If you don't know how to work a simple kitchen knife, it's time to get out of the kitchen. __________________ Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

10-08-2003, 05:45 AM	#4 (permalink)
troit Transfer Agent Location: NYC	Alright johnnymysto -- You peaked my curiousity and I just had to find one of these flip folders: BTW -- I do agree with you. Unless you are handicap or just downright lazy.... this product has no use... __________________ I've yet to dephile myself...

10-08-2003, 05:51 AM	#6 (permalink)
platypus Essen meine kurze Hosen Location: NY Burbs	This has got to be the worst - the Coffee Filter Separator. There's an entire website - complete with testimonials. <b>Filt-a-Pic</b> Testimonials?!? <i> Dear Filtapic: I didn't realize that separating coffee filters was a problem until a friend gave me a filtapic and I wont be without one again. I ordered one to use at my camp, it has made separating the filters so easy. </i> Give me a break. __________________ Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

10-08-2003, 06:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	platypus: most of those items are actually highly useful, just not in the everyday kitchen. In a restaurant or a diner or whatever where they use fresh ingredients and the customer ask for something with alot of mushrooms you will save alot of time with that slicer same for that corncutter however if it's for the occasional use, then it's a bit sad speaking of which, that coffee filter separator is hilarious __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

10-08-2003, 06:47 AM	#8 (permalink)
troit Transfer Agent Location: NYC	Here are a few interesting ones I dug up: Force Sensitive, Sound Playing Condom Solar Powered Flashlight Don't even know how to classify this one... [IMG]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TADeAmoYRs8sAg!uKZ!PaMoxaiTtA0mFTUhqGgBJIzBAsd7VntmWEW6QkbJehdbGELA5TwLqOQiYNRXvQ3EZllwbnB47!LDafANvT7Ze2XFR1DZJEXHg/severe_cold.gif?dc=4675332061038519924[/IMG] Or you could always take the quiz to find out what useless invention you are yourself: http://quizilla.com/users/theworldly...ou%3F%3F%3F%20(as%20seen%20on%20tv)now%20with%20pics!!! __________________ I've yet to dephile myself...

10-08-2003, 07:07 AM	#10 (permalink)
gump Addict Location: TN	this is actually a handy device. its saved many people from cutting their hands while cutting the kernels off an ear of corn. you just run the ear over that blade there in the center and it cuts um right off. saves time and doctor bills.

10-08-2003, 07:44 AM	#11 (permalink)
gov135 Junkie Location: Midwest	That tomato corer is an amazing waste of fifty cents. But, so far as I can tell, platypus wins with the coffee filter seperator. That's one invention that should have stayed on the drawing board.

10-08-2003, 08:23 AM	#12 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	actually, the tomato corer is very useful in a professional kitchen, where you blanch lots of tomatoes and need to first remove the stem area. __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

10-08-2003, 09:08 AM	#13 (permalink)
Sledge Pasture Bedtime	It's a hot dog slicer that chops it up curly, giving it tentacles. SO USEFUL Actually, I take that back. The Octodog fucking rocks.

10-08-2003, 09:17 AM	#14 (permalink)
Mr. Mojo Addict Location: NYC	That <b>Flip Folder</b> would make a great avatar... __________________ When I jerk off I feel good for about twenty seconds and then WHAM it's right back into suicidal depression

10-08-2003, 09:23 AM	#15 (permalink)
Nimbletoe Junkie Location: Michigan	Those stupid ab machines that you strap to your stomach and it contracts your stomach muscles. Dumbest. Thing. Ever. __________________ Go Pistons!

10-08-2003, 09:59 AM	#16 (permalink)
jujueye alpaca lunch for the trip Location: in my computer	Any Luxury SUV. Let's face it. Are Buffy and Reginauld really going to take that $60K vehicle to the top of a mountain? Are they really going to fill it with a shitload of 2x4s? Will they care if the wheel locks are automatic?

10-08-2003, 10:30 AM	#17 (permalink)
johnnymysto Overreactor Location: South Ca'lina	I second that, jujueye. You buy an SUV so you can haul, trample, drag, pull, climb, or tote. You don't get one to cruise the strip and blow up da spot. __________________ "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." - Capt. Barbossa

10-08-2003, 11:18 AM	#19 (permalink)
tekaweni It wasnt me Location: Scotland	Here in London UK the only use I've ever seen a SUV put to is young hottie mothers driving the kiddies to school. __________________ If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

10-10-2003, 10:08 AM	#20 (permalink)
Midlandmadman Redwing fan extraordinaire Location: Michigan	I'm not sure if it qualifies as an invention.... but, other than make the guy who started it some money... what exactly good was a pet rock? __________________ Its good to be back.

10-11-2003, 08:42 AM	#21 (permalink)
battlemouth Robot Lovin' Location: Boston	why would you want your hotdog to have tentacles? __________________ like a bullet through a flock of doves

10-11-2003, 10:32 AM	#22 (permalink)
Sledge Pasture Bedtime	Apparently, it is safer for young children, who sometimes choke on hot dogs.

10-12-2003, 04:21 AM	#23 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	now thats a great invention... not all that sure about this one though... first one is great, the second is just ridiculous. __________________ Ohayo!!!

10-12-2003, 06:44 AM	#24 (permalink)
Plummie Liquid Diamonds Location: Lexington, KY	The Segway!!! Yet one more invention designed to help Americans get and stay overweight. __________________ Kim

10-12-2003, 08:23 AM	#25 (permalink)
Peryn Junkie Location: San Diego, CA.	omg....that octodog is hilarious. i want one __________________ Dont cry kid, It's not your fault you suck.

10-12-2003, 09:07 AM	#26 (permalink)
battlemouth Robot Lovin' Location: Boston	the woman on the segway is attacking that poor man! __________________ like a bullet through a flock of doves

10-12-2003, 10:34 AM	#27 (permalink)
TinniT Crazy	the Chindogu hat has plenty of uses! If you're out in the woods you don't have to use a pine cone (yeesh!) Anyway, if you wanna know a useless invention, how about Transparent ink. I'd post a picture of it, but it wouldn't make much difference; you wouldn't be able to see it.

10-12-2003, 11:01 AM	#28 (permalink)
tekaweni It wasnt me Location: Scotland	Yeah, the Segway was going to take over the world but seems it's been a bit of a fizzle. Wonder what happened? __________________ If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

10-12-2003, 11:15 AM	#29 (permalink)
debaser Sir, I have a plan... Location: 38S NC20943324	Segway: Slightly faster than walking with none of that messy dignity... __________________ Fortunato became immured to the sound of the trowel after a while.

10-12-2003, 08:05 PM	#30 (permalink)
Sixteen Upright	lol, that cell phone charger got me laughing I have a pic of a solar powered flashlight on my computer somewhere

10-13-2003, 02:02 AM	#31 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	Ahhh...The japanese art of Chindogu. The art of inventing almost, but not entirely, useless items. Back Scratcher's T-Shirt Communicate precisely to your partner where your itch is: Sweetheart's Training Arm Avoid the problem of sweaty hands with this training arm: Eye Drop Funnel Glasses Find it hard to put in eye drops? This is the product for you: Wide Awake Eyeopener This hat is a useful alternative to a caffine overdose: Portable Office Tie The ultimate in yuppiedom, transcends even the superbriefcase: Heavy Smoker's Mask Reduce cigarette breaks by a factor of fourteen, with this handy invention: Daddy Nurser Umm....I guess its a pretty good idea when you think about it...sorta... __________________