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Old 03-01-2004, 04:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
alpaca lunch for the trip
 
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Death sucks

Death sucks. When it's someone you love and cared for, it sucks. When it's someone that your significant other or spouse loved and cared for, it sucks. When you see how hurt your spouse is for days on end because their close relative is gone, it sucks.
Maybe we're all selfish. But we're still here withouth them.
Oh yeah, "they're in a better place now." Says who? Nobody knows this, unless their last days were absolute hell (which they always are).
"They lived a long and good life." So? They're not here to enjoy another day of it, another sunrise, another batch of birds at their window, another smile.
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Old 03-01-2004, 04:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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"I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's...there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why."

That gets me every time...it was exactly how I felt, exactly how I imagine nearly everyone feels when someone they love dies. Yes, it definitely sucks. And hurts...and never stops hurting, not really.
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Last edited by CinnamonGirl; 03-01-2004 at 04:58 PM..
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Old 03-01-2004, 06:09 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Yes it sucks.

As the old saying goes "Life's a bitch, and then you die".

It's going to happen to us all, so there's no point in wasting too much time worrying about it. Mourn those you love and try to live a good life.

Mr Mephisto
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Old 03-01-2004, 06:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
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It's been almost a year since my brother died and yup, it still sucks. I don't have the heart to take out the clothes of his that I kept and boxed up to see if they still smell like him. I doubt I'll ever wash them. I don't notice the "anniversary" of his death every month any more - February 25th came and went without me thinking about it much. But listening to my good friend make plans to fly out to the hospital in California to be with her dad who just had a stroke brought back so many awful memories - planning for if he gets worse, sitting in the hospital waiting for some doctor to tell you something. And then he's just dead. All that waiting and hoping, and he's still dead. He was only 25. Hardly seems fair, but looking at everything he meant to me, and everything that's happened to me and my family since he died, it hasn't been without meaning. It's just part of life, and you either grow from it or you let it kill you before you're really dead.
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Old 03-01-2004, 06:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by CinnamonGirl
"I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's...there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why."
That was beautiful, one of my favorite episodes. And that is how death seems to be. Here laughing on day...gone the next without a trace, almost like it was all a sick figment of your imagination. That was the way I felt anyway
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Last edited by The Original King; 03-02-2004 at 01:45 PM..
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Old 03-02-2004, 08:49 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Trying to grow from it. Nice phrasing. I suppose the contstant coming and going of family and friends should teach us all to live more vicariously, love with more abandonment. Still, sometimes it's just not who we are. It's a confusing place in our heads, trying to know what to do.

A figment of your imagination. That, too, was very nice. This is part of the confusion. Were they really here? Of course they were. But knowing they are still around, even if you don't take the time to call and say hi, is still better than knowing they are not here and not able to be at the other end of the phone any more.

Life's a bitch. Very objective. It's true. I know. But it just glosses over too much detail. Too many holidays. Too many smiles. Is life really a bitch, or does it just seem that way when someone has passed away? I think life is not a bitch. It's quite a gift. There are people who make it good, like the angels who work at hospice centers.

I'm still thinking about all this. And I'm thinking about where my own selfish time needs to be spent; where I can shift a few hours here or there for someone else that I know I'll miss if they were gone.

Last edited by jujueye; 03-02-2004 at 08:57 AM..
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Old 03-02-2004, 11:16 AM   #7 (permalink)
Fly em straight!
 
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Re: Death sucks

Quote:
Originally posted by jujueye
"They lived a long and good life." So? They're not here to enjoy another day of it, another sunrise, another batch of birds at their window, another smile.
But you are still here to continue to enjoy the tiny things we seem to take for granted. Live you life, knowing you are that much better for knowing and sharing some of the things from your dearly departed.

As some might remember, I posted a few months ago about my co-worker whose wife died from Lupus complications. I was not there to be with him, but many of his family and friends waited around for days at the hospital to see her open her eyes and start to live again. She never did. She died while in an induced coma. I recently had an afternoon with my co-worker and we had a great time together, talking about life in general, moving on, and remembering a loved one from the past. He is doing very well. He admits that there are very sharp rememberances of her life, which turn to bitterness, which turn to lonliness, which eventually turn to thankfulness that she was in his life at all.

Death does suck. But remember that you are still here to enjoy another day of your life, another sunrise, another batch of birds at your window, another smile......
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