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Old 03-23-2004, 05:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Best. Rejection. Letter. Ever.

I know I posted this before (in one of my SFW Mephisto Links I think), but it's so funny I decided to show it again.





Now, to make this a real thread, do YOU have any funny rejection stories? Work, personal, sex... it's all good.




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Old 03-23-2004, 05:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: New England
When I was in college, one of the people in my dorm received a form rejection letter. However, the person entering the fields into the database messed up, so it appeared that everyone in the dorm was rejected in one fell swoop. "Dear Mr. Nameofdorm".
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Old 03-23-2004, 06:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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actually, there's a great new rejection hotline. so if you're at the bar, you can give that number to someone and then when they call you a few days later, it's actually the rejection hotline, and the message is funny as hell. if you google rejection hotline, you should come up with the site (i don't want post it, that would be against rules?)
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Old 03-23-2004, 08:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Ouuuterrrr Spaaaaacccceeee
hahaha, that's so awesome. Though all my rejection letters have been crippling sad.
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Old 03-23-2004, 08:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Oklahoma
I love the "skank ho" line.
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Old 03-23-2004, 09:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
lol, that's awesome I especially love the "Quite frankly, you scare us"
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Old 03-23-2004, 10:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: UCSB
I have my rejection letter from UCLA....... but I didn't want to go there anyway. GO CAL *still hoping for CAL admission*
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Old 03-23-2004, 10:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Japan
Worst rejection:

me: Wanno go out with me?
not to be: meh

When it's not even worth it to her to come up with a verbal reply...
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Old 03-23-2004, 10:37 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: New Zealand
My rejection letter from law school said something to the effect of "even though you obtained good results last year, we have a limited number of seats and unfortunately you did not get in".

Which was lovely, considering through a series of (largely my own) screw-ups I had a C average in law.

:/
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Old 03-24-2004, 08:19 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: in the backwoods
In college I applied for a paying internship in a Congressman's office, and they called me back for an interview. Then they called me back to reschedule the interview for Friday, a few days later.

I went to the interview, and left thinking that it had gone exceptionally well. I was excited about what I figured I'd be doing that summer. After I drove home that afternoon, I checked the mail, and guess what, a little rejection letter postmarked the day before. I was pissed, and later found out that the guy that got it was a political science major and the golden boy of that department, and he had been recommended by the prof. that set the internship up. Without that, or even knowing that prof., I was just wasting my time.
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Old 03-24-2004, 10:31 AM   #11 (permalink)
pow!
 
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Location: NorCal
Got a rejection letter from Playboy (for cartoons I submitted, you perverts). It pissed me off because it was really just a photcopied note the size of a Post It.

They didn't like me enough to warrent sending an entire 8.5" X 11" piece of paper. Dang.
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Old 03-24-2004, 10:39 AM   #12 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Rhode Island biatches!
I wish I could find it, there was a picture of a real application submitted by a teenager to work at mcdonalds. It was so funny, one of the few things on the internet that actually made me lol.

Edit: oh yeah the kid got a job too becase the manager or whatever loved the application so much.
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Old 03-24-2004, 04:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: redmond, washington
Quote:
Originally posted by The_wall
I wish I could find it, there was a picture of a real application submitted by a teenager to work at mcdonalds. It was so funny, one of the few things on the internet that actually made me lol.

Edit: oh yeah the kid got a job too becase the manager or whatever loved the application so much.
Quote:
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.
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Old 03-24-2004, 04:25 PM   #14 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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That's fucking great.
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Old 03-24-2004, 04:46 PM   #15 (permalink)
Pasture Bedtime
 
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.htm

Sorry to ruin the fun. It's still funny though.
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