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Old 04-15-2004, 06:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Post High School Depression

I'm just about 23 years old. I've been out of school since 1998. I hated every minute of it. So much so in fact that I was kicked out. I don't regret not finishing high school. I would have shot someone. Oddly I would have been to my breakng point about the time Columbine happened.

Now, I bring this all up an take myself down broken memory lane for a reason...

Why do people in their early to mid-20s still act like piece of shit 15-16yr olds. Now I was a piece of shit when I was that age. Thought I was badass and could do anything I wanted... like most teenagers do. So, why would one wanna stay that way even after we know life is a fuck of lot harder then we thought? It boggles my mind.

Why act stupid? Why play games? Why not just be an adult?
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Old 04-15-2004, 07:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Probably because a lot of things don't change, even though others do. You're not in high school, but do you honestly think that you don't have to go through a ton of bullshit on a daily basis, and that things could be a lot better off than they are, no matter how good/shitty they are right now?

Besides, it better to own the world than to let everyone walk all over you. I'm still learning that the hard way.
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Old 04-15-2004, 07:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Don't now how to answer your question . Mainly becuse I'm 20 and I've never acted like my classmates around me. I've always been pretty mature from an early age seeking out the films of Truffaut and Fellini when I was 12-14 years old. Made high school tough becuse there were few i could relate too. I guess all i'm saying is only you can make yourself grow up and age isn't neccesarily a factor(too many immature adults out there). Hope this helped somehow.
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Old 04-15-2004, 07:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I was mature for my age too. I didn't make fun of people or find tiolet humor incredibly funny. That doesn't mean I didn't have my share of high school antics, but I know for a fact I was more mature than most of the people around me. I still am (I'm in college now). I guess it just depends on how you are raised or something, I don't know. But being immature just doesn't appeal to me. I can be stupid and funny and idiotic, but there is definitely a line to cross into immaturity. I never crossed it!
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Old 04-15-2004, 08:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I enjoyed high school---especially my senior year....it was at a small school with 56 kids in the graduating class...the next year they moved into a big consolidated school...

--had some great teachers---fairly young, and they treated us with respect...even had the drivers ed teacher borrow the school car and we went out in the country and "borrowed" a xmas tree for the school...

the next year was even better---lots of young new teachers that loved to party, as long as it was kept quiet....

---and life was damn hard---one parent , and if I didn't work I didn't eat---thought she and I would freeze to death that first winter, but it made us stronger, and closer....and as I look back, life was good, real good.
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Old 04-15-2004, 08:43 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Kid need parents to displine them. Correct me if I am wrong, but in America, if a parent ever spank the child, they could be jailed for child abuse. Now, I am not big on inducing unnecessary pain on a kid. But sometime you need to shove a foot up their ass to tell them something is wrong.
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Old 04-16-2004, 12:44 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Thank you.

So far we got very different views on this...

Keep 'em coming.
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Old 04-16-2004, 02:27 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by charlesesl
Kid need parents to displine them. Correct me if I am wrong, but in America, if a parent ever spank the child, they could be jailed for child abuse. Now, I am not big on inducing unnecessary pain on a kid. But sometime you need to shove a foot up their ass to tell them something is wrong.
Not entirely true. If you leave a bruise from the spanking, that's when the issues start.

Either way, like others have pointed out, it seems like an incompatibility between your own level of maturity and the people around you. If you're surrounded by people who do stupid things and who you don't feel are the same level as maturity as you, maybe it's time to start surrounding yourself with people that do somehow.
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Old 04-16-2004, 04:56 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I'll be 51 years old in June and there are people in my company near my age that still act like children. Pouting, gossiping, treating others like crap. Cheating, lying, gathering in cliques and avoiding others.

Others, many of them younger than me, are responsible, mature adults.

I don't think it's age related. I don't think you necessarily get it from your folks, although that helps.

Maturity grows inside and you have to recognize it, nourish it, and accept the role.

I think that accepting the role of maturity is hard for some people because it means a change in their lifestyle and the acceptance of responsibility for their actions.

(Boy! I sure miss spell check when I post).
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Old 04-16-2004, 05:04 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I agree completely with Rock Ogre. Maturity is a state of mind and not one of age.
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Old 04-16-2004, 05:08 AM   #11 (permalink)
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It's called growth...they pump you into a structured enviroment and then shoot you out of it ready to take on the world...a world that you you exactly nothing about!

Maturity is how you handle this enviromental change, some are ready earlier, some never get there!
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Old 04-16-2004, 06:06 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Charlatan
I agree completely with Rock Ogre. Maturity is a state of mind and not one of age.
I need to write that down, that's some good shit
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Old 04-16-2004, 09:26 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Some people don't learn from their experiences. It is as simple as that. You still find people in their 40s and 50s that think the world owes them things. They don't take personal responsibility for their actions. Some of these mid-20s will eventually grow up. Some never will.
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Old 04-16-2004, 09:29 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Charlatan
I agree completely with Rock Ogre. Maturity is a state of mind and not one of age.
Agreed. Sometimes I feel like I need to be an adult, act mature and get the job done. Other times, I can act like a child and go play with my toys.
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Old 04-16-2004, 10:41 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: Post High School Depression

Quote:
Originally posted by The Original King


Why do people in their early to mid-20s still act like piece of shit 15-16yr olds.
a)You're just hanging with the wrong people.

b)People in their early 20s have a newfound level of freedom that they're testing out.
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Old 04-16-2004, 10:41 AM   #16 (permalink)
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i am very mature in business/work... i dont like to waste time acting stupid.
i dont know about other areas of my life

*edit* btw im 20
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Old 04-16-2004, 01:18 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I can't remember what movie it was but somewhere they point out that everything after high school is just high school again. College, the workplace, whatever. In a way it's true.

For me, I hated high school because I hated the whole teenage invincabilty complex. I never thought I was a badass as a lot do, I guess my parent's forced that on me in a way, so I grew to hate everyone who did. Now I've been out 4 years and and still plugging along through college (two to go yet...) and I still in this so called "professional school" see people acting just like people did in high school. I see it in the workplace as i intern as well, it's everywhere. I don't think we'll ever totally escape it so long as we live in this culturally immature society...
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Old 04-16-2004, 02:21 PM   #18 (permalink)
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It's almost like the personality that one picks up in high school stays with them for the rest of their life. You start your life as boozed-up football jock stereotype you're gonna spend the rest of your life seeking cheap Coors Light and a dumb blonde to knock up.

And for me I spent my four (or so) years of high school as the smart kid in the corner that never said anything that was relavent. Now I live my life at the corner stool at the bar making random comments to random people waiting till I make it big and make lots of money. Sad? Yes. But I at least pick a personality that transformes to real life well. I'm not stuck in a mentality that only exsists at 16. "Dude, you suck."

If you fall into the high school shit while in high school you will live it for the rest of your life. If you don't. You will be working tech support for Gateway. Make sense?
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Old 04-18-2004, 11:48 AM   #19 (permalink)
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At school I was pretty much the class clown, I still dont really feel I've grown up, at least not since university... I'm 26 and I just feel like I'm waiting for my life to start, I certainly dont think I'm that mature - I havent really grown as a person I guess because at least the last 5 years I've been kind of hibernating... and you have no idea how scary it is to type that and see that,,, 5 years since I graduated... and I havent done anything at all with my life

Still, I guess the past is gone, and I can either keep going down the same path or change my life and start really living and growing. Its a pretty easy decision, I just cant figure the way to get started.
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Old 04-18-2004, 12:06 PM   #20 (permalink)
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You said you did not finish your high school. Did you complete your education some other way? GED?
Some people get along just fine without graduating. Some people feel your doomed if you don't get your Masters in "Whatever". I feel that what ever makes you happy is fine. If you are happy at whatever line of work you are involved in, Great.
You run into people all over the place that don't act their age. Some never seem to grow up and think everything is a joke. Then when a real serious situation comes along, they wise up, hopefully.
Hope you can get past this minor glitch in your life. Choosing the right crowd to hang out with can help a lot.
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Old 04-18-2004, 12:55 PM   #21 (permalink)
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I enjoyed my high school years, I was in a class of two counting me with perhaps 120 students total K-12, but the Navy likely had the biggest influence on my life. Knew I had no desire for the 4 year college thing early on.
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Old 04-18-2004, 01:57 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Some people juts never grow up. Some were taught to be responsible or basically forced into responsibility because of their circumstances. Life can teach some tough lessons. I think the question is are you willing ot learn from them or will you just blame life for giving you a shitty deal? My brother was spoiled rotten. He has a violent temper and is having a hard time dealing with having a new baby now. On the other hand I know a man who has never married or had a kid but is one of the most upstanding and responsible men I know. My brother got all the things he needed growing up. The other man dealt with a lot of hard blows by the time he was 14 even. His mom died of cancer, and his dad left to work on the oil rigs in Ak. He was left at the age of 14 to drive his brothers and sister to school every day. He was left to care for his younger siblings during the week and Dad only came home every weekend or two. How do you respond to what life throws your way? Do you take responsibility or do you start the blame game? That is one of the greatest measures of maturity that I've ever seen.
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Old 04-18-2004, 04:14 PM   #23 (permalink)
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I agree with VitaminH - everything is like high school even after high school.

Every job that I've worked in, from a Supermarket manager to a big-time auto company, has had some level of clique-ness to it. It is what it is. Human nature is always there, high school just brings out the worst in it.

Basically, you just need to surround yourself with the right people.
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Old 04-19-2004, 03:19 AM   #24 (permalink)
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The way I look at it, life is life whether your 6 or 54, it's the requirements that change. If you do nothing you will live as nothing, if you work hard and work well and work wisely, you will live as you have worked and earned, that's how I view it, and it thus far has yet to fail me.
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Old 04-19-2004, 11:50 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Xell101
The way I look at it, life is life whether your 6 or 54, it's the requirements that change. If you do nothing you will live as nothing, if you work hard and work well and work wisely, you will live as you have worked and earned, that's how I view it, and it thus far has yet to fail me.
That's makes more sense then anything I've ever read. Thank you.
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Old 09-09-2004, 07:21 PM   #26 (permalink)
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You need to suffer a bit. And I'm not talking about emotional turmoil (I have plenty of that myself) Live on your own if you don't already, fall short of rent a couple of times and run out of money just when you realize there's no more food. Then, quit your job w/o planning it first only to be unemployed and miserably for two months. That's teach you to grow up real fast. Suddenly, all the stupid shit we worry about daily doesn't seem all that important.

....Then your antidepressants run out
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Old 09-09-2004, 07:33 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Like everybody said, some people grow up and some don't. In certain bars, you're going to see a larger proportion of those who don't, or haven't yet.

High school was hell. Everything since, no matter how bad, has been better. I've had a lot of growing up to do and, now that I'm approaching 50, I'm about 80 percent there. I've got down the part about seeing through my obligations to others, doing a good job, and being responsible. What I'm still working on is being true to myself and my own feeling instead of deferring to the needs of others -- especially those folks who are very emphatic in stating their needs (but don't actually need much). And, after a rather painful experience recently, I think I'm about ready to take that one by the horns.

As woot implies: pain is how we learn. Wish it could be otherwise. Somebody said, "Pain is the great teacher; under its breath, human souls grow." If I were going to characterize people who don't seem mature, and even myself in the areas where I've been lacking, it's that they'd rather dodge pain than face the truth about themselves, how they act, or what they're doing to themselves or others.
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Old 09-09-2004, 08:07 PM   #28 (permalink)
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king, i'll drop you my two cents.


you're complaining about a segment of humanity that you've chosen to surround yourself with as a profession.

from an outsider's point of view, i've seen that most (read: most, not all) people who "hit the bars" on a regular and religious consistency are the people who have decided that they can only have fun when they're drunk. they're the people that slurp alcohol and then think it's the funniest shit in the world to scream profanities, tell pointless jokes, act sexist, and generally jock for position on the testosterone totem pole.

sound familiar?

high school all over again.

perhaps they don't know better. perhaps they just release all of the pent up energy that is otherwise repressed once they've got the liquid courage in them. maybe they're true asshats, through and through. all i'm saying is that as long as you judge humanity bu what you see in the fucktards that get piss-drunk at the bar, you're gonna see things the wrong way. there's more to life than the shitfucks that need alcohol to function in a social environment.
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Old 09-09-2004, 10:49 PM   #29 (permalink)
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phred, that isn't necessarily true in all cases. I am pretty much in the same age bracket as King (TheOriginal), as scary as that is *grin*... I didn't realize we were that close, but I am within 6 months of being 23, and I have noticed the same thing.

however, I am doing the college thing and I just find so many people here who are still being supported by there parents still act much like children. I myself still consider myself a child, but I am very independent. I pay my bills, pay for school, work for the school, etc. I have fun on occassion, but I have my priorities pretty straight, i would like to think. However, I still see many people who think their parents will support them forever.

I agree that maturity is just a state of mind and it doesn't have anything to do with age, but I think one can also consider themself a child while being mature as well. I constantly find myself surrounded by people that don't seem to be able to take care of themselves. When presented with a situation they almost immediatley tell there parents in the hopes that they will solve it for them.

Not completely sure how coherent this is, but it is 3am I guess my nightowl nature is difficult to beat
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Old 09-10-2004, 08:00 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oblar

however, I am doing the college thing and I just find so many people here who are still being supported by there parents still act much like children.

yes, yes and yes. this is exactly right. they wig out over stupid shit that doesn't matter and complain about everything. it's really annoying...
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Old 09-10-2004, 08:48 AM   #31 (permalink)
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So, I wrote this a long time ago and it's odd that it came up in the past few days...


Last night my girlfriend and I got kicked out of a club for fighting. Well, we didn't fight... we didn't do anything but protect ourselves. I ran into a few people I went to high school with. One of the girls used to "stalk" me in school. She was basicly obsessed with me. This was 5 years ago. She's still obsessed with me. She got jealous. She shoved my girl for what appeared to no reason. My girlfriend shoved her back... yelling started and next thing we know we're outside. The girl I went to school with continued to yell... I still have no idea why. Okay... the point behind this story is that after 5 years this girl still couldn't let go that I wouldn't date her. She was creepy. She would leave me notes on my car. High school has basicly ruined this girls life. She is still acting and reacting to what happened when she wasn't even mature enough to understand what was happening. I hate to come off sounding like I think I'm better then most but in some ways I am. Being able to let something go and move on is a quality that seems to be lacking in todays society. We have to re-live everything that happens. Well, at least the bad shit. So, a girl that can't get a date in high school spends the rest of her life stewing over the one that she couldn't have. Me. And it wasn't that this girl wasn't hot... she is. Just not my type.

Okay... I'm ranting here. Just a reminder... don't hold on to the past.
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Old 09-10-2004, 09:10 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Everybody is wondering how we get ourselves away from the immature imbeciles surrounding our lives. The answer is extremely simple- you isolate yourself away from them and work towards being in places where maturity is a requirement for success.

High school blows and if you let it get to you, if you don't study and go to a crappy college or get a high school diploma and go to work, if you drop out and try to work towards something else, for the most part you're just asking to be grouped with even worse people.

If you ever noticed even in high school it was apparent, as your marks got better and the courses you took got harder, the people in your classes were smarter and more mature, they didn't mess around and were focused on their work.

Now if you are studying something in a good university, a field that is hard to get into and requires a lot of work, or just get into a better university that is harder to get into in general, you can observe that the immature people attending that university are a minority.

In the end, you have to lift yourself up amongst the crowd of people who are more mature.
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Old 09-10-2004, 09:43 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Original King, I hear you about high school. Though I have to say that I made some great friends in there and had a fun time too. One thing though is depsite you saying don't hold on to the past, you seem to be holding on just as hard. I'm probably wrong in saying so but in the two posts I saw you were holding on looking back etc. And I guess I may be off here, but if she only "left notes on your car" that sounds more like typical high school hijinks than stalking.
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Old 09-10-2004, 09:59 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soggybagel
Original King, I hear you about high school. Though I have to say that I made some great friends in there and had a fun time too. One thing though is depsite you saying don't hold on to the past, you seem to be holding on just as hard. I'm probably wrong in saying so but in the two posts I saw you were holding on looking back etc. And I guess I may be off here, but if she only "left notes on your car" that sounds more like typical high school hijinks than stalking.

No. Not even close. I hadn't thought about this girl in 5 years till I saw her last night. And no she didn't just leave notes on my car. She fallowed me around school. She called me at all hours of the day. Harassed my friends. I had to change my phone number to get her to stop calling. When I got out of school she would drive by my house to see if I was home. It keeps going.
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Old 09-10-2004, 02:08 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Humans aren't as smart as we think. We are animales and like other animales we have instincts. The environment that we have made for ourselfs sometimes doesn't work well with our instincts.
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