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Old 04-18-2004, 02:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
Nisses's Avatar
Location: Belgium
J.Lo-Butt Implants Explode!


J.Lo-Butt Implants Explode!

Tuesday April 13, 2004

A woman who yearned to have a bottom as luscious and rounded as the rear end of pop star Jennifer Lopez has found her dreams blasted to smithereens -- after her butt implants exploded!

Candy Jones- Davies, 22, vows to sue the hospital where surgeons allegedly pumped the implants so full of curve-creating air, they both blew sky-high -- right on the operating table.

And she says a surgical nurse has agreed to testify in her attempt to collect $17.5 million for medical expenses, lost future wages and emotional pain and suffering.

"She told me they had just put in the implants, when one of the surgeons -- she's not sure which one, but she knows what he said -- started saying, 'Well, if she wants J.Lo's butt, let's give it to her.' And they pumped more air into the implants. Then another one said, 'Come on, that's nothing, let's go for it.' And they just kept pushing the limit until it all just exploded."

Jones-Davies, a receptionist from Pretoria, South Africa, says that before the butt blast, she was on the verge of signing a modeling contract with the talent agency where she works.

"They told me if I got butt implants to look like J.Lo, I could be one of their top girls," she says.

Instead, Jones-Davies not only suffered second- and third-degree burns to both cheeks, but because of tissue loss her behind is even smaller and flatter than before the surgery.

"I'm flat as a board," says Jones-Davies. "No one's going to sign a fashion model who looks like an 80-year-old man from the back.

"I'm lucky to have a job at all -- I can't sit for more than 20 minutes at a time before my backside gets numb and I get stabbing pains down my legs. I'm just lucky they let me take a lot of breaks at work, or this ugly can would be getting me canned."

A hospital spokeswoman says Davies-Jones' doctors were using a new inflatable implant that adjusts to a custom-fitted size. She says the hospital may file a defective- product complaint against the manufacturer.

She adds that Jones-Davies "must also bear some responsibility" for the fanny fiasco.

"She told our doctors at the initial consultation that she wanted to 'out-J.Lo J.Lo' -- her exact words, I'm told," says the spokeswoman. "And with all due respect, she had a long way to go to even begin to have the firm, well-rounded proportions of Miss Lopez. If our doctors failed, it was in trying too hard to serve their patient.

"And," she adds, "our surgeons' quick response actually minimized the damage to Miss Jones-Davies, who would have no bottom at all if not for their knowledge and skill."

Davies-Jones angrily rejects that claim.

"I might have said something like that, but they are doctors, and they should know how far to go before it gets dangerous," she says.

"And I didn't think they'd pump me up so much I'd pop like a balloon at a kid's birthday party."


I guess she wasn't just an airhead.
This has gotta be the stupidest thing I ever read
I hope this is just regular gossip with no real story behind it, though I found 4-5 different links with the same story.

I can just see the surgeons now, pumping away like in some old Warner Bros comic, until the implants swell all over the screen...
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Old 04-18-2004, 04:43 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Destrox's Avatar
Location: Phoenix
Last I checked, you sign a waiver saying if somthing were to go wrong on the operating table that wasnt directly do to negligence (Such as bad a bad product) you CANNOT sue the hospital.

Shit, when my dad went and got a double lung transplant he was forced to sign that if anything happens to him, he cannot sue.

Sue happy world, she didnt need no damn implants anyway.
You bore me.... next.
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Old 04-18-2004, 06:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: I'm workin' on it
Copyright Yahoo! and Weekly World News All rights reserved.

Not exactly the AP now is it?
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Old 04-18-2004, 08:19 AM   #4 (permalink)
Location: Ouuuterrrr Spaaaaacccceeee
Originally posted by Destrox
Last I checked, you sign a waiver saying if somthing were to go wrong on the operating table that wasnt directly do to negligence (Such as bad a bad product) you CANNOT sue the hospital.
According to the story, it was due to negligence.
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Old 04-18-2004, 09:21 AM   #5 (permalink)
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H12's Avatar
Location: K-Town, TN
She risked her ass on a future career in a dream job...and her ass paid the price, so to speak. It sucks that it happened, but implants are ridiculous anyways.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit."
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Old 04-18-2004, 09:33 AM   #6 (permalink)
Location: Toronto
That is the worst written article I have ever seen. It's not even trying to be passed off as the truth.

If you believed it... no.
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Old 04-18-2004, 09:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
Comment or else!!
KellyC's Avatar
Location: Home sweet home
truth or no truth, who in their sensible right mind would go have an ass implant? J-Lo's ass have got to be one of the most disgusting things thats allowed on television. They should censor it every time the ass shows...like they did it with boobs....ewwww
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Old 04-18-2004, 10:39 AM   #8 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
bermuDa's Avatar
Location: CA
Originally posted by Fenton-J-Cool
That is the worst written article I have ever seen. It's not even trying to be passed off as the truth.

If you believed it... no.
I agree. as I read it it simply screamed "tabloid!"
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Old 04-18-2004, 12:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
Location: uhhhh
You would think they went to med school for however many years to learn something.
Still Looking
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Old 04-18-2004, 02:52 PM   #10 (permalink)
Location: Canada
If real, it must be a pretty traumatizing (and painful?) experience.
-sanity is not statistical-
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Old 04-18-2004, 04:46 PM   #11 (permalink)
mattevil's Avatar
Location: Virginia
It's a weekly world news article people so it's fake. I'm surprised her surgeon wasn't Batboy!
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:04 PM   #12 (permalink)
slightly impaired
Location: Down South
Her surgeon wasn't Batboy, it was BigFoot.

Shame on you Mattevil, for not catching that! Batboy wouldn't go near butt-implants. He's not ass-friendly.
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:33 PM   #13 (permalink)
qtpye4u84's Avatar
Location: oregon
LOL....... They have a way of making your but look good, they suck some fat out from your tummy or any where they think has enough or where you want them too then they pump it into your but and it sits there and works. Less risky this way.
The QTpie
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:39 PM   #14 (permalink)
Location: Oh God, the rain!
A butt plode...sounds funny.
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Old 04-18-2004, 06:57 PM   #15 (permalink)
He's My Girl
Location: The Champagne Douche
Damn Too bad no pics. You know, for posterity's sake.
The fortunes of war favored Hrothgar.
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Old 04-18-2004, 11:26 PM   #16 (permalink)
"And with all due respect, she had a long way to go to even begin to have the firm, well-rounded proportions of Miss Lopez"

This from the worlds first unnamed spokesperson. That's the whole point behind spokespeople. they're names and faces!

I call bullshite.
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Old 04-19-2004, 12:17 AM   #17 (permalink)
My God! A penis explosion and a butt cheek explosion not 3 threads apart!
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Old 04-19-2004, 01:39 AM   #18 (permalink)
Bang bang
Spartak's Avatar
Location: New Zealand
How the hell did she get 2nd and 3rd degree burns ?

Were they using hot air or something ?
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Old 04-19-2004, 04:07 AM   #19 (permalink)
Location: thailand
doesnt she have it insured for a few million?
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Old 04-19-2004, 05:22 AM   #20 (permalink)
Fear the bunny
Location: Hanging off the tip of the Right Wing
Imagine if it had happened while you were doing her doggie.

You'd be the man!
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Old 04-19-2004, 10:23 AM   #21 (permalink)
Hilarious. Fake but hilarious.
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Old 04-19-2004, 10:34 AM   #22 (permalink)
Fly em straight!
water_boy1999's Avatar
Location: Above and Beyond
ass blast
rear disaster
booty shake
Dynamite ass
not-so-wise crack

Hahahahaha!!!! Just a few things that popped into my head as I was reading this article.

-Homer Simpson
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Old 04-19-2004, 11:49 AM   #23 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
CSflim's Avatar
Location: Ireland
Muahahaha! thats a pretty funny (spoof) article!
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explode, implants, jlobutt

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