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Old 04-26-2004, 09:42 AM   #1 (permalink)
I'm a family man - I run a family business.
 
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Location: Wilson, NC
We Must Band Together!

Ok guys, my brother had a really interesting thing happen to him over the weekend that had me laughing harder than I have probably the entire year. If we all band together and beg, maybe he will tell it in this thread Come on man put it up! It's genuine material!

Mods: take it easy with the delete post button This is some good shit if he will tell the story
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Old 04-26-2004, 09:43 AM   #2 (permalink)
Is In Love
 
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I could use a laugh, tell the story!
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Old 04-26-2004, 09:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
Boy am I horny today
 
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Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!
Oh please oh please tell us! I'm in serious need of a chuckle or two....
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Old 04-26-2004, 09:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
Fly em straight!
 
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Location: Above and Beyond
Ok, I'll play:


Please, please, tell me what this ridiculously funny story if!!!!
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Old 04-26-2004, 10:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm in. Come on, Redjake's brother!
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Old 04-26-2004, 10:08 AM   #6 (permalink)
pow!
 
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I refuse to beg. I DEMAND THE STORY BE TOLD!
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Old 04-26-2004, 10:46 AM   #7 (permalink)
Poo-tee-weet?
 
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Location: The Woodlands, TX
tell the story!
i love hearing funny stories!
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Old 04-26-2004, 11:00 AM   #8 (permalink)
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waiting . . . . c'moan, I don't have all day, oh wait, yes I do
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Old 04-26-2004, 11:41 AM   #9 (permalink)
Shade
 
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C'mon, you gonna tell it?

Huh, huh? are you?

C'mon, you know you wanna tell it. I can see it in your eyes. That little twinkle tells me you wanna spill your guts.

Hey, hey, everybody, come over here. Redjake's bro has some quality stuff to tell!
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Old 04-26-2004, 12:01 PM   #10 (permalink)
A boy and his dog
 
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Tell... the... story... tell... the... story...
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Old 04-26-2004, 12:16 PM   #11 (permalink)
Like John Goodman, but not.
 
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"FINISH THE FUCKING STORY..." - Johnny Depp, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
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Old 04-26-2004, 12:17 PM   #12 (permalink)
Comment or else!!
 
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TELL THE STORY!! Dont make me bust out my webcam and beg to show you!! Do....not!!!!
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Old 04-26-2004, 12:34 PM   #13 (permalink)
who ever said streaking was a bad thing?
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by KellyC
TELL THE STORY!! Dont make me bust out my webcam and beg to show you!! Do....not!!!!
yea what she (or he) said
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Old 04-26-2004, 12:40 PM   #14 (permalink)
All Possibility, Made Of Custard
 
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I may take my own life if you do not tell this fucking story.

And if this fucking story isn't all that it's cracked up to be, I'm coming after your brother.
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Old 04-26-2004, 12:44 PM   #15 (permalink)
Cracking the Whip
 
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Location: Sexymama's arms...
I don't think anyone will delete it but it could very well be moved to "Nonsense"
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Old 04-26-2004, 12:50 PM   #16 (permalink)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 
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TELL IT DAMN IT.
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Old 04-26-2004, 01:30 PM   #17 (permalink)
you can't see me
 
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I have a feeling that after this, the story will almost certainly disappoint. Still, I would need to hear it to know for sure.
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Old 04-26-2004, 02:22 PM   #18 (permalink)
I'm a family man - I run a family business.
 
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Location: Wilson, NC
ok guys he is doing a group project but he said he would do it as soon as he gets back I've already told quite a few people (even GIRLS!) and they thought it was hilarious. I guess if you knew him in real life it would be even funnier but you will just have to use your imagination he will be back shortly.
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Old 04-26-2004, 04:03 PM   #19 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Redjake
ok guys he is doing a group project but he said he would do it as soon as he gets back I've already told quite a few people (even GIRLS!) and they thought it was hilarious. I guess if you knew him in real life it would be even funnier but you will just have to use your imagination he will be back shortly.
That struck my funny bone.
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Old 04-26-2004, 05:02 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: Winston-Salem, NC
Oh man I have a lot of hype to live up to!

Ok, so my girlfriend's mom asks me and her to go buy 8 2-liters of drinks. 5 Diet Mountain Dews, and 3 Diet Pepsis. Food Lion had the best prices with an MVP card, so we chose the Food Lion route. You can only buy 4 2-liters with one MVP card, so we each had an MVP card. My girlfriend pays for the first 4 bottles, and then I set my bottles up on the register counter.

I'm not entirely sure how the rest happened, but I'll explain it as accurately as possible: the cashier reached for the first Diet Pepsi. Now, I've seen quite a few 2-liters drop from say 5 feet and simply bounce on the ground, so if anyone wants to explain the following, feel free to do so: after reaching for the first 2-liter and knocking it onto its side, the entire mother fucking top half of the drink exploded! It didn't pop open. It didn't wine-bottle spew...this mother fucking exploded in half along the curve at the top. It cracked in half! The bottle started going around in circles on the counter, spraying EVERYTHING with Diet Pepsi. The first circle showered my legs in Diet Pepsi. That same round covered the cashier and the tabloids/candy rack. The second circle-round sprayed my entire face and head and got the cashier even more. By the second round, probably half a second had passed. This fucker was spinning like a Fourth of July rocket, all because the cashier knocked it on its side! It wasn't even in the floor! More rounds passed, while I just stood there thinking that this is the BEST day of my life. The casher finally put her hands over the Diet Pepsi, trying to conceal what was left in the bottle. That just made the Diet Pepsi streams go even further.

When the bottle had lost whatever had possessed it, there was about half a 2-liter of Diet Pepsi covering everything in a 6-8 feet radius. I told the cashier, "That was awesome!!!" She asked me why I thought it was awesome. I knew damn well that this trip would be the most exciting grocery store trip EVER. My girlfriend got another 2-liter for us. I paid with a soaked MVP card and we walked out of the store. I was licking the Diet Pepsi off of my face right afterwards. Everything below my beltline was sprayed, and my arms and face were entirely covered. It was simply a euphoric carbonated experience!

The most amazing part about the trip is trying to explain to people that the bottle literally fell onto its side. It didn't fall into the floor or anything, it simply fell over and exploded. I enjoyed the fireworks-type of dancing it did...that ensured maximum velocity and area covered.

Well, that's about it.

-Lasereth
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Old 04-26-2004, 05:35 PM   #21 (permalink)
Like John Goodman, but not.
 
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Location: SFBA, California
That was fucking awsome. I can kindly relate in a less public manner. I once had a large jug of grape juice in my room (no fridge, so room temp). I cracked it open and took a sip, and then left it sealed (full for all intents and purposes) for about 3 or 4 days. On the fourth night of not really thinking about it, I accidentally tipped it over onto it's side, at which point it spewed a thin but long jetstream of grape juice foam from under the cap. I immediately picked it up and slammed it, top end down, into the garbage can. I stood right over it, with my face looking down upon it... right when the bottom of it blew out with a loud boom and a load of angry grape juice exploded into my face (and, unfortunately, my eyes, which stung a bit), and onto the ceiling.
I'm not entirely sure after being away at college, but I think the 2+ year old light-purplish stain on my ceiling in the scattered half circle (as the other half was protected... by my head) is still there to this day.

Good stuff all around.
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Old 04-26-2004, 05:35 PM   #22 (permalink)
Cosmically Curious
 
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Location: Chicago, IL
I must say I've never heard of anything like that happening before, but it is quite a good story. Thanks for sharing, it gave me a good laugh.
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Old 04-26-2004, 06:09 PM   #23 (permalink)
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :.
 
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Location: this ain't kansas, toto
glad to hear that you have good humor!

some other disgruntled greedy cumrag kind of person would've bothered to sue someone over the incident.

you just went home & cleaned up with a good story! good job
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Old 04-26-2004, 06:16 PM   #24 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Funny story!
Like to've seen the security tapes.


So you guys are brothers, eh?
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Old 04-26-2004, 06:20 PM   #25 (permalink)
Cracking the Whip
 
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Location: Sexymama's arms...
Not a bad story.

The cashier and store was probably happy it was diet, as the non-diet sodas are so darn sticky.

But I'm sure the cashier was unhappy, having to clean up his/her station AND finish work soaked with diet soda.
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Old 04-26-2004, 06:31 PM   #26 (permalink)
WoW or Class...
 
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Location: UWW
In all of my soda drinking history I have never ever heard of anything even remote to that.
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Old 04-26-2004, 06:34 PM   #27 (permalink)
hovering in the distance
 
Location: the land of milk and honey
great story

Quote:
"That was awesome!!!" She asked me why I thought it was awesome.
best available answer would have been, " Because I don't have to clean it up"
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Old 04-26-2004, 06:46 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Location: Deep South Texas
Thar's why us scotch drinkers never touch that damn soda---it is dangerous...
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Old 04-26-2004, 06:51 PM   #29 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Native America
I for one will be much more carefull how I handle 2 liters. Those things are fucking time bombs just waiting to asplode!!!
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Old 04-26-2004, 07:04 PM   #30 (permalink)
I'm a family man - I run a family business.
 
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Location: Wilson, NC
Quote:
Originally posted by Fremen
So you guys are brothers, eh?
yep identical twins
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Old 04-26-2004, 07:10 PM   #31 (permalink)
Cracking the Whip
 
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Location: Sexymama's arms...
Shouldn't he be like, "Blue Elwood" or something?
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Old 04-26-2004, 07:19 PM   #32 (permalink)
Knight of the Old Republic
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Redjake
yep identical twins
Good job jackass, here come the twin jokes!

For the record, yes, we get sick at the same time. We can use telepathy to cheat on tests, we've skipped classes for each other, and wrote papers for each other using said telepathy. Telekinesis becomes useful, but only when we're in the same room to channel our twin energies together. I am Pete and he's Repeat, and I'm Frick and he's Frack. You are seeing double, and yes, he is wiser because he's 4 minutes older. He is my big brother, and you're right, we're in the same fucking grade level. We trick our teachers if we don't feel like going to class and they never know. If he's hurt, I'm hurt, and I feel his every move. We say the same thing everyday because we think alike 24/7. Feel free to buy us a single birthday gift, because after all, we are the same person. You are original for using the aformentioned jokes and insights, and you're definitely the first person I've heard them from.

Now that those are out of the way, maybe we can get some original comments!

-Lasereth
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Old 04-26-2004, 07:20 PM   #33 (permalink)
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That is truely funny. I wish i would have been able to see it (from a safe distance of course).
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Old 04-26-2004, 07:55 PM   #34 (permalink)
Metal and Rock 4 Life
 
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Not sure what is more amazing, the fact you two are twins. (Honestly never would have guessed by ur E-Personalities [new word?] ), or that badass story about the 2-Litre.

I would have loved to standby and witness that.
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Old 04-26-2004, 08:29 PM   #35 (permalink)
Poo-tee-weet?
 
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Location: The Woodlands, TX
hahahhahahaha thats great....

i remember once i was collecting all the pepsi points off my dads 2 litre bottles of mountain dew... being the impatiant little kid i was i would go out into the garage and cut the labels off of the bottles before they were open...

one exploded while i was cutting the little square off... got mountain dew forced under my eyelids and in my nose and all that... and made a huge mess... luckily it was diet... but still a lot to clean up...
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Old 04-26-2004, 09:35 PM   #36 (permalink)
Fly em straight!
 
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Location: Above and Beyond
I begged for a story without nudity in it? I am so ashamed!

So, when the 2-liter did spray you with carbonated love, was your brother feeling a little "wet behind the ears" as it happened? hehehe....
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Old 04-26-2004, 10:46 PM   #37 (permalink)
Cracking the Whip
 
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Location: Sexymama's arms...
Quote:
Originally posted by Lasereth
Good job jackass, here come the twin jokes!

For the record, yes, we get sick at the same time. We can use telepathy to cheat on tests, we've skipped classes for each other, and wrote papers for each other using said telepathy. Telekinesis becomes useful, but only when we're in the same room to channel our twin energies together. I am Pete and he's Repeat, and I'm Frick and he's Frack. You are seeing double, and yes, he is wiser because he's 4 minutes older. He is my big brother, and you're right, we're in the same fucking grade level. We trick our teachers if we don't feel like going to class and they never know. If he's hurt, I'm hurt, and I feel his every move. We say the same thing everyday because we think alike 24/7. Feel free to buy us a single birthday gift, because after all, we are the same person. You are original for using the aformentioned jokes and insights, and you're definitely the first person I've heard them from.

Now that those are out of the way, maybe we can get some original comments!

-Lasereth
Thanks,

I needed a good laugh today
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Old 04-26-2004, 10:48 PM   #38 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Quote:
Originally posted by Lasereth
Good job jackass, here come the twin jokes!

For the record, yes, we get sick at the same time. We can use telepathy to cheat on tests, we've skipped classes for each other, and wrote papers for each other using said telepathy. Telekinesis becomes useful, but only when we're in the same room to channel our twin energies together. I am Pete and he's Repeat, and I'm Frick and he's Frack. You are seeing double, and yes, he is wiser because he's 4 minutes older. He is my big brother, and you're right, we're in the same fucking grade level. We trick our teachers if we don't feel like going to class and they never know. If he's hurt, I'm hurt, and I feel his every move. We say the same thing everyday because we think alike 24/7. Feel free to buy us a single birthday gift, because after all, we are the same person. You are original for using the aformentioned jokes and insights, and you're definitely the first person I've heard them from.

Now that those are out of the way, maybe we can get some original comments!

-Lasereth
Ummm, which of you rides in the bucket?



/wonder twin powers.....activate!
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Old 04-26-2004, 11:39 PM   #39 (permalink)
The one that got away
 
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Location: Over the hill and far away
I want an exploding soda!
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Old 04-26-2004, 11:57 PM   #40 (permalink)
Eh?
 
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Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Awesome story. That had me seriously laughing out loud. I turned off my music, reread it, and laughed even harder. Never knew you guys were twins...i woulda never guessed.

Heh, kick ass story though!
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