Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > General Discussion


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-12-2004, 08:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
Nothing
 
k1ng's Avatar
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
Voicemail message

Ok, so I'm thinking about changing my voicemail message on my phone, but I have no idea what to say. I think everyone knows that I'm not picking up my phone and to leave their name/number. I'm looking for a basic message without using all the cliched jokes/messages.

What message do you use for your voicemail? Or can you suggest a good basic message for me?

Thanks guys.. =)
__________________
"Delight in excellence is easily confused with snobbery by the ignorant." -Joseph Epstein
k1ng is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 08:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
Please touch this.
 
Halx's Avatar
 
Owner/Admin
Location: Manhattan
"Hello? ......................................... Oh I forgot, I'm not availible right now...."
__________________
You have found this post informative.
-The Administrator
[Don't Feed The Animals]
Halx is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 08:35 PM   #3 (permalink)
Hello, good evening, and bollocks.
 
Fearless_Hyena's Avatar
 
Location: near DC
all I ever do is let the robot voice read off my number or say the automated "leave a message"
Fearless_Hyena is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 08:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
* * *
 
try this -

"knock knock knockin' on heaven's dooo-ooo-ooorrr"
__________________
Innominate.
wilbjammin is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 08:46 PM   #5 (permalink)
on fire
 
animosity's Avatar
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
the first thing that came to mind was, "this is bill, you know the drill."
but sense your name isnt bill....

use your email msg, "mail! mother fucker!" only change it to "message! mother fucker!" but sense you dont want to say fucker on your voice mail.....

just say, "hey joo, you know what to do."
animosity is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 08:46 PM   #6 (permalink)
Something like that..
 
Location: Oreygun.
"Hi, this is Mike. Leave a message."

That works wonders!
__________________
"Eventually I became too sexy for my gym membership fee."
Chingal0 is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 09:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
Loser
 
"Hey, whats up?..... Whoa whoa whoa, I thought I told your sorry ass never to call me again!"
WarWagon is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 09:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Hi, you've reached *insert name here*.

I enjoy listening to Van Halen and watching reruns of Saved By The Bell.

Leave a message.
__________________
I'm melting down your 20 inch rims to build 5 foot plates for the shins of my 30 foot android.
brinkn1 is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 09:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
 
Speed_Gibson's Avatar
 
Location: right here of course
my answering machine has decent impression of W.C. Fields with the kind of thing he was known for saying.
__________________
Started talking to yourself I see.
Yes, it's the only way I can be certain of an intelligent conversation.

Black Adder
Speed_Gibson is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 09:26 PM   #10 (permalink)
Is mad at you.
 
Location: Bored in Sacramento
As soon as I am done job hunting, mine will say "Hi, I never check this thing and I have caller ID. I'll know you called. Please wait 6-8 weeks for a reply"
__________________
This too shall pass.
Harshaw is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 10:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Sung To beethoven's 9th:

Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Heeeerreee,
Nobody's Heeeerreee,

So leave your naaaaaame.
Also a num-berrr.




That or,
"Believe it or not George(or whatever your name is) isn't at home
so leave a messaggge at the beep.

I must be out
or i'd pick up the phone
where could I be?
Belive it or not, i'm not home...."
BEEP.
__________________
I'm a happy boy, happy boy,
way to get when things are going your way. Hey Hey.

...Pretty sure I asked for Pecan Sandies...
tehhappyboy is offline  
Old 05-12-2004, 10:15 PM   #12 (permalink)
big damn hero
 
guthmund's Avatar
 
My friend's message goes as such....

Quote:
"Hey pal, you know what to do so....(imitation of the beep)

about a second later..

"Whoa whoa whoa, I didn't ask for your life story, pal. Let's try that again...(real beep)
I thought it was real funny the first time and the first dozen or so new messages were pretty fun to listen to. Pretty colorful as well.

He also changes the lyrics of popular songs to reflect that he's not home right now and sings them himself. That's pretty funny.
__________________
No signature. None. Seriously.
guthmund is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 09:32 AM   #13 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
MSD's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: CT
Quote:
Originally posted by tehhappyboy
Sung To beethoven's 9th:

Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Heeeerreee,
Nobody's Heeeerreee,

So leave your naaaaaame.
Also a num-berrr.
Dude, that's Beethoven's fifth, not ninth.
MSD is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 09:45 AM   #14 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
Quote:
Originally posted by tehhappyboy
Sung To beethoven's 9th:

Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,Nobody's Here,
Nobody's Heeeerreee,
Nobody's Heeeerreee,

I have friends who are twins who left this as their message. Except they said "Home" instead of "Here".

Quote:


That or,
"Believe it or not George(or whatever your name is) isn't at home
so leave a messaggge at the beep.

I must be out
or i'd pick up the phone
where could I be?
Belive it or not, i'm not home...."
BEEP.
I have a friend who left the entire george song as his voicemail message. Each of these was extremely funny the first couple of times that I called.
__________________
"That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy."

Lionel Hutz
bookerV is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 09:46 AM   #15 (permalink)
I'm baaaaack!
 
I used to play really cheesy elevator music on my phone- Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass works.

Also, I would hold the phone up to the toilet, flush it, and make the caller guess why I didn't answer the phone.
__________________
You don't know from fun.
Rubyee is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 09:51 AM   #16 (permalink)
Devoted
 
Redlemon's Avatar
 
Donor
Location: New England
Quote:
Originally posted by MrSelfDestruct
Dude, that's Beethoven's fifth, not ninth.
Well, I just tried, and you CAN sing it to the 9th. It just doesn't fit quite as well.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 10:17 AM   #17 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
NoSoup's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, WI
Well, not sure if you are in the habit of starting your phone conversations off the same way each time, but after I noticed I did, I had a little fun w/ my voicemail. It went something like this.

"Hello?"
Pause
"Hey! How you been?"
Pause
"That's Cool, Watcha been up to?"
Pause
"Me? I'm actually not here right now, but you can leave me a message if you like"
***Beep***

As you can imagine I got some pretty interesting voicemails.

My favorite, however, was this girl that hadn't apparently understood that it was just a message, so she continued answering the "whatcha been up to" ... then she's like... uh, are you there? Hello? Hello? *click*

Lol
NoSoup is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 10:22 AM   #18 (permalink)
Is mad at you.
 
Location: Bored in Sacramento
In college I had a female friend, and one day when she wasn't looking I changed hers to

(deepest manliest voice I could muster)

"Hi, This is Erin, I'm not feeling myself right now. Please leave me a message and I will get back to do."

She didn't think it was very funny.
__________________
This too shall pass.
Harshaw is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 01:01 PM   #19 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
CSflim's Avatar
 
Location: Ireland
A friend used to have one similar to the trick one, mentioned laready. It went something like

Hello?.........Sorry, what? (confused)....Who is this!? And what do you want?
__________________
CSflim is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 01:20 PM   #20 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Native America
Mine used to say:
Hi, we're either not home or just don't feel like talking to you! So leave a message if you want.

I always think honesty is the best policy.

BTW- I fucking HATE the ones that make you think they really answered when it's just their recording!!
__________________
Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Redgirl is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 09:05 PM   #21 (permalink)
Free Mars!
 
feelgood's Avatar
 
Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
"Hey, you've reached Jeff's voicemail. If you're my boss, I'm not home. If you're a family, I'm home but I ain't time to put up with your shit. If you're a hot chick, call me on my cell at 555-2152, thank you"

/lame attempt
__________________
Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war
feelgood is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 09:14 PM   #22 (permalink)
Watcher
 
billege's Avatar
 
Location: Ohio
Quote:
Originally posted by brinkn1
Hi, you've reached *insert name here*.

I enjoy listening to Van Halen and watching reruns of Saved By The Bell.

Leave a message.

I need to use that.
__________________
I can sum up the clash of religion in one sentence:
"My Invisible Friend is better than your Invisible Friend."
billege is offline  
Old 05-13-2004, 10:38 PM   #23 (permalink)
Nothing
 
k1ng's Avatar
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
What do you guys think of this one:
"Hi, this is 'k1ng'... Ok, now it's your turn."

I haven't heard that one before, so i think its pretty original. what do you guys think about it?
__________________
"Delight in excellence is easily confused with snobbery by the ignorant." -Joseph Epstein
k1ng is offline  
Old 05-14-2004, 06:41 AM   #24 (permalink)
The one that got away
 
hu-man's Avatar
 
Location: Over the hill and far away
This is beep. I am not at home right now, but leave a message after the John. No, wait...*beep*

I just made that up! If you use it, please send me a coconut.
hu-man is offline  
Old 05-14-2004, 08:57 AM   #25 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Native America
k1ng and hu-man- those are both new to me and funny IMO. I like short messages, especially when I call the person a lot. I hate to hear the same long damn message over and over.
__________________
Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Redgirl is offline  
Old 05-14-2004, 10:04 AM   #26 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Rhode Island biatches!
make it "ok so I was gonna leave a typical message here but then I thought why not make it more interesting. So I was gonna do the message where you think I'm actually here talking to you when its actually just voicemail, then I figured probably thousands of people do that. So then I tried to think of something funny to put in here but couldn't come up with anything good enough, so this is my voicemail message.
__________________
"We do what we like and we like what we do!"~andrew Wk

Procrastinate now, don't put off to the last minute.
The_wall is offline  
Old 05-14-2004, 10:41 AM   #27 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm on the couch (or sofa or chesterfield... whatever works in your part of the world).
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 05-14-2004, 10:46 AM   #28 (permalink)
Addict
 
zxello's Avatar
 
Location: P-Town, WA
"Phone's on vibrate and I'm not finished yet, keep callin back and i'll pick up in 2-3 minutes"
__________________
Old signature just wasn't doing it for me anymore, so now I have this new one. It's equally as stupid but at least it looks really long. I'm probably just going to keep typing until I run out of things to babble about and see how many people actually read this. I once ran down a hill, fell down and hurt my elbow; my mom said I would be ok, she kissed it and made it all better. I've run out of things to say now, so if you have read this whole thing, congratulations you get a gold star!
zxello is offline  
Old 05-14-2004, 11:53 AM   #29 (permalink)
Talk nerdy to me
 
God of Thunder's Avatar
 
Location: Flint, MI
I used something similar to this for a while, but changed it while job-hunting a few years back.


Hi, I'm not home right now and I can't afford an answering machine, so I've trained the fridgerator to answer my calls. Talk real slow so he can write down the message and then he will stick it on the front with one of those cute magnets. I'll get the message the next time I go for a beer. Thanks...*beep*


If you use it, send me a beer.
__________________
I reject your reality, and substitute my own

-- Adam Savage
God of Thunder is offline  
Old 05-14-2004, 02:17 PM   #30 (permalink)
Delicious
 
Reese's Avatar
 
I like:

Hello?
*pause*
Hey! What's up! I'm not here so just tell it to my voice mail or call me on my cell ph...
*Click*
(heavy breathing) Hello!?
*pause*
Gotcha, You're still talking to the voicemail, leave a message after the... *beep*
__________________
“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry
Reese is offline  
Old 08-23-2005, 06:04 PM   #31 (permalink)
Wicked Clown
 
Ishmal's Avatar
 
Location: House Of Horrors
on one of my old phones i downloaded a voice mail message from the internet...

it went...

Music: "Mission Impossible" theme song

Voice: deep male voice

saying:

"i'm sorry, the president is not in his office at this time. please leave your Name, Number, and the Name of the Country you wish to invade after the tone and he will get back to you."
__________________
"Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular."
Ishmal is offline  
Old 08-23-2005, 07:24 PM   #32 (permalink)
Sue
Teufel Hunden's Freundin
 
Sue's Avatar
 
Location: Westminster, CO
Here. All the answering machine messages you'll ever need.

http://coolsig.com/6/7/1
__________________
Teg yw edrych tuag adref.
Sue is offline  
Old 08-23-2005, 07:27 PM   #33 (permalink)
Junkie
 
fhqwhgads's Avatar
 
I never saw the need to come up with a witty answering machine message to show people how clever I can be. That type of shit should be left for online forum signatures.
fhqwhgads is offline  
Old 08-23-2005, 07:27 PM   #34 (permalink)
Sue
Teufel Hunden's Freundin
 
Sue's Avatar
 
Location: Westminster, CO
Quote:
Originally Posted by hu-man
This is beep. I am not at home right now, but leave a message after the John. No, wait...*beep*

I just made that up! If you use it, please send me a coconut.
LOL, that was hilarious
__________________
Teg yw edrych tuag adref.
Sue is offline  
Old 08-24-2005, 06:39 AM   #35 (permalink)
Take my hand
 
Location: Everywhere, but nowhere
Hey this is (insert your name here) you know what to do after the beep. But if you really don't know wha to do, I'm not going to waste my time with you, you ignorant fuck!

That could be interesting.
__________________
The only thing I'll ever ask of you... you gotta promise not to stop when I say when.
present_future is offline  
Old 08-24-2005, 06:53 AM   #36 (permalink)
Comedian
 
BigBen's Avatar
 
Location: Use the search button
"Hey, remember 20 years ago, before there was such a thing as answering machines and call-display?

Remember that you had to be home in order to take a call, and it could be your best friend or a bill collector?

Remember the phone being attached to the wall in the kitchen, and if you were lucky you got a long cord so you could walk to the fridge and get something to drink?


Me Neither. Leave a fucking message."
__________________
3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.
BigBen is offline  
Old 08-24-2005, 09:00 AM   #37 (permalink)
The Mighty Boosh
 
djflish's Avatar
 
Location: I mostly come out at night, mostly...
To the tune of We Will Rock You by Queen:

I will, I will, call-you-back!
I will, I will, call-you-back!
__________________
Europes two great narcotics, Alcohol and Christianity.
I know which one I prefer.
djflish is offline  
Old 08-24-2005, 09:55 AM   #38 (permalink)
Thor
 
micah67's Avatar
 
Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W
(Movie-phone voice)

Hello! Thank you for calling the Spank-Me hotline!
If you've been bad, press 1!
If I've been bad, press 2!
Enter Now! (*beep*)
__________________
~micah
micah67 is offline  
Old 08-24-2005, 01:16 PM   #39 (permalink)
is a tiger
 
Siege's Avatar
 
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
"Welcome to Seige's fridge. Please talk REAL slow so I can spell out your message with the magnets."
__________________
"Your name's Geek? Do you know the origin of the term? A geek is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a circus. I would never let you suck my dick with a name like Geek"

--Kevin Smith

This part just makes my posts easier to find
Siege is offline  
Old 08-24-2005, 05:50 PM   #40 (permalink)
Junkie
 
meembo's Avatar
 
Location: Connecticut
Right after I got divorced, I had a female friend with a beautiful, husky voice record something in Spanish that sounded great. I have no idea what it said, but it was so exotic and different that I loved it and didn't change it until I moved. I may have lost a message or two, but I can say that I haven't missed anything!
__________________
less I say, smarter I am
meembo is offline  
 

Tags
message, voicemail

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:08 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73