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Old 04-20-2003, 09:02 AM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Pa, USA
Have you ever used an online dating service to hook up with someone?

A friend of mine recently tried this out, and has been telling me I should try it.

I am reluctant to, and not really interested, but it is an interesting topic to discuss.

Have you ever used an online dating service (Match.com for instance), or considered using such a service?

What are your thoughts about such services?

It seems that they allow you to be pretty specific in what qualities you search for in a "potential mate," so I guess it has the potential to hook two people up, and having the relationship turn out well.

What are your thoughts? Have you ever tried such a service? Would you in the future?

My thoughts are that just because someone uses such a service, doesn't mean they are desperate. It just means they are using another means of finding their "perfect match."

The only reason I am reluctant to is because it is "different" and something that would be a big step for me, as I have never done anything similiar before.
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Old 04-20-2003, 11:37 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I have not but I have a Cousin who ran one of them and she spoke very highly of it.
SO I say you could give it a try and see what happens.
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Old 04-20-2003, 11:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Denver City Denver
A friend of mine met his X-wife through Yahoo.

I told him he should have sued Yahoo after the divorce.
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Old 04-20-2003, 11:45 AM   #4 (permalink)
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too many crazy people online
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Old 04-20-2003, 12:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: North Hollywood
i went out on about 15 dates from girls from match.com or nerve.com, some were good, some were ok, and some were truely terrible. but that might just be because its LA , i only had to change phone numbers once

lots use it coz its a lot easier to say no, and to spend time looking, i found that the "match to another " features don't really work, since they attempt to match you by the stuff you like, which isn't usually what people go for, its nice to have things in common but they do say opposites attracts, or is that just magnets.

all in all i'd say i was happy with the experience, i met a few cool people who are still friends, and some of them i'd never have met since we go in different circles.

a photo will get more hits, but the text of the message is what will get people writing to you.

match.com is ok, they charge a lot more, and they are hard to cancel no matter what the webpage says i got more people writing to me from match than from nerve(statestreet)

I also didn't realize at first if you post to say nerve.com you end up on all the other sites that personals engine supplies, which caused a few embarrasing moments
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Old 04-20-2003, 01:00 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: New York City
I have tried match.com and americansingles.com without much luck. A fellow TGFer had recommended lavalife which I signed up for last night. I'll report back on how well it works...
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Old 04-20-2003, 01:07 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I've tried them, yes. I would say it may be worth your time, should you be willing to invest it. It's not like I found my "soulmate" on a dating site or anything, but different people have different experiences, so don't be afraid to try something new. As for me, I'm done with dating sites.
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Old 04-20-2003, 01:17 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Youngstown, Ohio
Quote:
Originally posted by sierra2774
I have not but I have a Cousin who ran one of them and she spoke very highly of it.
SO I say you could give it a try and see what happens.
did your cousin ever have any luck?
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Old 04-20-2003, 02:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Michigan
I've tried match.com, yahoo personals, and a slew of others...I must say it is extremely hit or miss. Alot of the really good looking people are just advertisers trying to get you to sign up for their website and crap like that. I have met some really nice people and have gained some really good experiences from the sites, but it is all and all not what it is cracked up to be.

Most of the people on those sites were just too immature...(maybe I just didn't have any luck). I would defeinitely say to give it try, never hurts, right?
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Old 04-20-2003, 04:22 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I don't think that I could use an online or real life dating service to hook up with someone. I've made friends online, but I don't think that I'd ever be able to go beyond that based on the net. Too many weird stories about online dating.
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Old 04-20-2003, 04:25 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I havent met anyone from online yet, but I am talking to a nice girl from California, will probably meet her over the summer.
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Old 04-20-2003, 05:53 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: West Linn, OR
i've tried, does that count?
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Old 04-20-2003, 06:41 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I had two dates I met online about two years. Both were clearly not for me when I met them. One was an absolute psycho. Last night I spoke on the phone with someone and I think maybe we might meet sometime next week. On the phone, at least, she seems pretty normal.
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Old 04-21-2003, 02:02 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Location: Leicestershire UK
My current girlfriend - We met online and spent a long time talking - Finding out that we so many things in common

We swapped pictures and both liked what we saw

When then met up and things went perfect

I'm happy
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Old 04-21-2003, 03:58 AM   #15 (permalink)
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That is how I met my husband...
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Old 04-21-2003, 04:02 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Location: Arizona
I used to go on those things to look at all the pics of cute girls in my area. I must be subscribed to about 20 of them. I never added a pic, so I never got any e-mail from them.
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Old 04-21-2003, 04:04 AM   #17 (permalink)
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<b>mindy</b>, good to hear!! Using the internet to meet people is a kind of good thing/bad thing to me. It's dangerous yet a blessing.
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Old 04-21-2003, 04:13 AM   #18 (permalink)
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I use a couple of those services, and I also met a couple of ladies. The one I still haven't met, but I met a lot of nice persons and made some new friendships.
So, don't try to find your future wife there, just try to find new friends everthing else is a, nice, bonus.
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Last edited by Pacifier; 04-21-2003 at 04:18 AM..
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Old 04-21-2003, 04:40 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Hell NO! And I never intend to.

But one of my relative's using such services to find soulmate an get married. Ugh.
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Old 04-21-2003, 04:50 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: NYC
How funny is it that while I was reading this thread a pop-up ad for a dating service came up...

I never have used one but would be open to the idea...

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Old 04-21-2003, 05:35 AM   #21 (permalink)
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I used to use thespark.com, but that was just to find girls to have sex with. That doesn't really count as a relationship.
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Old 04-21-2003, 09:12 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Location: Stuart, Florida
I signed up w/ a few of them but i havent decided yet if i actually want to try meeting people w/ them. I guess the odds of getting a psycho from one of them probably isnt any worse than walking up to a random person at a bar/store/whatever and getting a phone #.
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Old 04-21-2003, 10:10 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Location: Somewhere in Ohio
Never have and never will.
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Old 04-21-2003, 10:11 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Location: The True North Strong and Free!
Quote:
Originally posted by sixate
Never have and never will.


My words exactly...
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Old 04-21-2003, 10:53 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Location: Vancouver, BC
Yup, currently dating a guy I met on Match.com. Received hundreds of emails from guys, had to block more than a few freakazoids. Met up with a guy on hotornot.com, he was cool but had to move waaaaaay up north for work. Meeting people online seems pretty similar "real-life" dating, gotta wade through a bunch of people you aren't interested in to find the few that you are.
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Old 04-22-2003, 01:29 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Location: who the fuck cares?
I have no problems with meeting people from an online service, or from online in general. Some people these days don't get the chance to get out to places where you can meet new people. Friends aren't so willing to do "match making" any more. And the worst thing you can do is date someone from work.

I have met quite a few people from lavalife.com. Some have become good friends. Others were jerks. But isn't this the same thing you'd run into anywhere? Online services are the "bars" and "hangouts" of the times. I bet people said the same thing when singles bars started popping up.

If you do choose to use one of these services, just be careful. Always meet for the first time in a public place, make sure at least one person knows your entire agenda (and contacts you at least once during the evening to make sure you're ok), and always have an excuse ready to be able to end the night early incase things aren't working out.
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Old 04-22-2003, 01:32 AM   #27 (permalink)
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i met a girl from yahoo once. she was horribly obese. i masturbated her and she wanted more than 4 fingers. i have small hands.
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Old 04-22-2003, 05:11 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Location: Texas
never used a service, but I did meet several people online with hopes of hooking up...

this may sound shallow.. but three were too ugly for me.. (If I'm not physicallyattracted to somebody how can I expect to be with them romantically) but I am still friends with 2 of those 3... one I would have dated turned out to be a total friggan bitch... and the last one I became really attached to, but never met because of physical distance... I was attracted to her, but I need something tangible.. we became friends for a while but that has since drifted away.. I'm done with the net thing now tho.
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Old 04-23-2003, 05:32 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Location: Phoenix, AZ
My roommate was on a couple dating service sites for about 2 months and he went on abput 10 dates. He's now with a girl he met online, and he seems really happy.

I'm not sure if I would use one, I've been with the same girl for 3 years now, but it is a cool idea. It really makes sense to use a dating service if you work full time or have a lot of other commitments, and you don't like going to the bars. It's a good way that two mature people can hook up without having any real 'suprises'.
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Old 04-23-2003, 06:35 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Location: tentative, at best
I've never had a need for them (I'm married), but I've heard that on a lot of them, the ads for the really good looking women are really sales traps - when you contact them, they want you to subscribe to a particular service or buy a certain product. Any truth in that?
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Old 04-23-2003, 07:50 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Location: Michigan
Quote:
Originally posted by yournamehere
I've never had a need for them (I'm married), but I've heard that on a lot of them, the ads for the really good looking women are really sales traps - when you contact them, they want you to subscribe to a particular service or buy a certain product. Any truth in that?
Lots of truth there...Bars do the same thing. Some bars actually will pay or offer exclusive free drinks groups of hot girls to frequent their bars in hopes that guys will see hot women hanging out there and bring in more business.

But it is absulutely true about the online sites that some of the "members" that look too good to be true are nothing more than sales traps. The best luck is to contact the ones with no photos, start up conversations and after a little talking ask them for their pic and usually they will send one. That's just my advice.

You have to wonder why some people will stick their picture out on the web for all to see and recognize you. I know it generates more views, but are they really reading what you have to say? And for girls, are they just contacting you because of a physical attraction? Anyways...I just prefer to stay a little more anonymous (when I was single). Afterall, I do work and live in the area.

Just my 2 cents...
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Old 04-23-2003, 08:38 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Location: US, East Coast. Blah.
PERSONALLY...

Me and a couple of friends look through some of these that post profiles and pictures and we send each other the worst ones. Occassionally, hilarity ensues. I found one in which it had obviously submitted by someone as a prank, revenge, < insert motive here > and it was one of the funniest things I have ever read/seen. DAMN funny stuff.

I met my spouse online (not a dating service, though) - we posted at the same guitar related sites, and we both have the same wicked hateful attitude. As it turned out, one of us had a guitar that the other was looking for, and things went from there. *shrugs* Who woulda thunk it. It is almost embarassing when people ask us how we met (he tells them "Best fifty bucks I ever spent" (me, not the guitar) Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice). I do still believe, however, that this was a aberration. I had never dated anyone I met online, and the original motive was the purchase of a guitar. No pictures were ever exchanged. Big risk on both parts. Yeah, I'll admit that I am somewhat shallow and appearance driven.

I hate to sound like I am straddling the fence here, but I think that online matchmaking works for some. * I * wouldn't, and don't think I could ever bring myself to use such a service, but who am I to thumb my nose at others because my opinion differs? *shrugs*

Personally, there's an air of patheticness (is that even a word?) to it. Personal ads just seem... insidious. But in this age of the shallow, jaded, immediate gratification mind set, it seems apropos. ...You'll forgive me, but I am quite pretentious in my hatred of most people. I find most people detestable, and in my own particular blend of pathetic, find the online communities I've found preferable to the general populace.

*looks around*
Ummmmmm, I think I'm done here...
*takes soap box and leaves*
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Old 06-15-2003, 11:43 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Location: Finger on the little red button.
Hey, do you guys know if there are any that will let you exchange emails and such with people for free? Or even for less than $10 a month?
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Old 06-16-2003, 12:17 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Location: Yesterday i woke up stuck in hollywood
Quote:
Originally posted by World's King
A friend of mine met his X-wife through Yahoo.

I told him he should have sued Yahoo after the divorce.
Thats Amazing! he should do that!
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Old 06-16-2003, 05:51 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Location: Massachusetts, USA
Quote:
Originally posted by JadziaDax
If you do choose to use one of these services, just be careful. Always meet for the first time in a public place, make sure at least one person knows your entire agenda (and contacts you at least once during the evening to make sure you're ok), and always have an excuse ready to be able to end the night early incase things aren't working out.
I still do Match.com, though I've only met one person that way.

I used to meet lots of women down in Dallas. We'd meet in a Starbucks attached to a bookstore. If things didn't work out, we could split up easily. Or walk around the bookstore chatting about books or whatever.

I met one in a munching area attached to a near-by grocery store. When it didn't work out, I went grocery shopping.

Quick hint: if she starts off by ridiculing what you do for a living, she's probably not a good match.

The main problem I've got now is that there just aren't very many potential matches in my area, according to match.com.
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Old 06-16-2003, 06:19 AM   #36 (permalink)
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One of my old friends in high school lost his virginity to a girl he met online. They dated for a while, then she became a lesbian.

Typical...
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Old 06-16-2003, 06:57 AM   #37 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Massachusetts, USA
I hate it when that happens.
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Old 06-16-2003, 07:22 AM   #38 (permalink)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 
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Location: Charleston, SC
I am of the mindset that there are weird people wherever you go. I have met people in normal situations that turn out to be big freaks. So therefore I am not against meeting people online.

I met my current boyfriend online. Things are working out excellent so far. It was the first time he or I have ever done something like that. So I don't know if that made a difference in why it worked.
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Old 06-16-2003, 02:20 PM   #39 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: No. CA
There are a lot of good points here - obviously you have to do what is BEST for YOU. I personally liked it, I am very outgoing and have no problem meeting people. Problem is if I met someone I was "attracted" to, and get a "date" I would find out maybe we really had nothing in common or that our goals are different after I spend $50-$80 on a date. So for $25 a month I could at least get an idea of the type of person they "appeared" to be and know if we had something in common besides attraction. I also happened to be around the same "groups" of people, Health Club, bars/restraunts in my area, sports and using Match helped me to meet people I would probably never otherwise meet.

I used Match and met a few people there, the ones I met looked and matched who they were online. Then I met my present girlfriend and know I have met my soulmate. I know though that I was lucky or it was destined so I am not saying you will meet your soulmate.

You will meet some interesting people, and I am sure some "freaks" - my best friend has dated several people as well and is still looking for "The One".

Best of luck to you,
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Old 06-16-2003, 02:28 PM   #40 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Oregon
I never have, but my Mother met her current boyfriend of two years that way. They are so perfect for each other it's really weird... I never thought it could happen. He is an awesome guy though.
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