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Old 12-14-2009, 02:05 PM   #81 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Pfft, you certainly wouldn't BING it.
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:05 PM   #82 (permalink)
 
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Until our OP decides to join us again:

Our all time show might include,
the 'Vogon Poetry Generator.'

BBC - Cult - Hitchhiker's - Vogon Poetry Generator

Here is mine for today.:.:.:

See, see the enabling sky
Marvel at its big puce depths.
Tell me, cat do you
Wonder why the me ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel heavy.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your skoolzeling facial growth
That looks like
A mold.
What's more, it knows
Your slurp potting shed
Smells of lentil.
Everything under the big enabling sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm sulphurs.

Last edited by ring; 12-14-2009 at 02:22 PM..
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:22 PM   #83 (permalink)
We work alone
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
Proof Google is God - Church of Google
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:31 PM   #84 (permalink)
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shauk View Post
I'm gonna laugh when the OP finds out that she really was cheating on him.
Damn....you're an ass.


Soundbite 101
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Old 12-14-2009, 03:02 PM   #85 (permalink)
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my god. I missed such a good thread!!!! stupid work...
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Old 12-14-2009, 03:13 PM   #86 (permalink)
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynthetiq View Post
my god. I missed such a good thread!!!! stupid work...
If you'd counted the posts, you'd have known we were cheating on you...
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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
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Old 12-14-2009, 04:59 PM   #87 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
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nah, Jazz probably deleted one to make him THINK that
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Old 12-14-2009, 05:12 PM   #88 (permalink)
Eat your vegetables
 
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Ring, your Vogon Poetry was the last straw. I'm currently laughing so hard I'm unable to breathe!
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Old 12-14-2009, 05:27 PM   #89 (permalink)
Asshole
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye View Post
nah, Jazz probably deleted one to make him THINK that
ixnay on the ivingay wayay uffstay!!!
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Old 12-14-2009, 08:13 PM   #90 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dlish View Post
when i buy a pack i open the pack before i put it in the draw. i'd hate to think that i'd fumble around tearing the wrapping, then opening the pack and then tearing the condom pack open....

i ALWAYS open the pack beforehand
You fold your socks before having sex, don't you.
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Old 12-14-2009, 08:22 PM   #91 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan View Post
You fold your socks before having sex, don't you.
No, but I do.
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Old 12-14-2009, 08:35 PM   #92 (permalink)
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan View Post
You fold your socks before having sex, don't you.
Plan9 is right.. i dont...that's because im wearing them!
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Old 12-14-2009, 11:05 PM   #93 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shauk View Post
I'm gonna laugh when the OP makes you all feel like a bunch of jaded assholes and finds out that she really was cheating on him.
I think that was the source of much of the original confusion, and if I recall no one really denied that she was. The OP stated that they both (if I deciphered correctly) bang other people openly; he automatically assumed based on the "smoking condom" that she had, and wanted to know why she would hide it. Most of the replies were attempting to go back to square one, and determine how he came to his conclusion on such thin evidence.
Judging by what a CIA investigation he's launching over one effing condom, I'm amazed she's out of his sight long enough to go pee, let alone have an affair.


Also, women have been scientifically proven to have no souls, so I'm incapable of feeling bad whether I'm right or wrong.

Last edited by Halcy; 12-14-2009 at 11:25 PM.. Reason: can't punctuate
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:43 PM   #94 (permalink)
I read your emails.
 
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Location: earth
I feel guilty right now just for reading this thread and I did not even cheat.

---------- Post added at 08:43 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:43 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by dlish View Post
Plan9 is right.. i dont...that's because im wearing them!
Hot.
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Old 12-15-2009, 07:17 PM   #95 (permalink)
Kick Ass Kunoichi
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dlish View Post
Plan9 is right.. i dont...that's because im wearing them!
You must secretly be Canadian.
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Old 12-16-2009, 03:17 AM   #96 (permalink)
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A naked man in socks looks ridiculous IMHO!
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Old 12-16-2009, 07:02 AM   #97 (permalink)
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
 
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your opinion doesnt add much to the thread.

my sock can double as a condom if you ever find yourself one condom short
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Old 12-16-2009, 07:05 AM   #98 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dlish View Post
your opinion doesnt add much to the thread.

my sock can double as a condom if you ever find yourself one condom short

it must be nice having such small feet.
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Old 12-16-2009, 07:30 AM   #99 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guccilvr View Post
it must be nice having such small feet.
like baby socks?

unless youre RHCP.

[IMG][/IMG]

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Old 12-16-2009, 07:37 AM   #100 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
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Location: Lilburn, Ga
oh my eyes
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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
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Old 12-16-2009, 07:40 AM   #101 (permalink)
Husband of Seamaiden
 
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Location: Nova Scotia
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy View Post
You must secretly be Canadian.
Hey! WTF does that mean?
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Old 12-17-2009, 01:04 PM   #102 (permalink)
Asshole
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
Hey! WTF does that mean?
That Canadians smell like feet?
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Old 12-17-2009, 01:27 PM   #103 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
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Location: Lilburn, Ga
So just out of curiosity, for those that saw his post in other places...were they all sensitive to the issue for him?
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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
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Old 12-17-2009, 02:32 PM   #104 (permalink)
Still Free
 
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Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!
She likes putting her sex toy in her butt, but doesn't want to dirty it up so she puts a condom on it. She's embarrassed by this habit and doesn't want to tell you.
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Old 10-17-2010, 10:17 AM   #105 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: The Aluminum Womb
as frustrating as it might be, you'll never really know and i'm sure it's tearing you up inside bit by bit. regardless it seems like this is a problem you should have figured out prior to marriage. if you don't trust her right now to be completely faithful to you then maybe marriage wasn't a good idea.

flip side: if you do trust her completely, then be willing to accept the fact that maybe you counted your pinky twice when you counted to four. have faith and wait a bit to see if something else happens

sneaky/creepy/distrusting: ask for a day off of work because you're 'sick' and borrow a friend's car and park across the way from your house and keep watch to see if a strange car leaves or if she leaves to some strange house.
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Pretty simple really, do your own thing as long as it does not fuck with anyone's enjoyment of life.
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Old 10-17-2010, 01:01 PM   #106 (permalink)
Custom User Title
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cimarron29414 View Post
She likes putting her sex toy in her butt, but doesn't want to dirty it up so she puts a condom on it. She's embarrassed by this habit and doesn't want to tell you.
or something like this....

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Old 12-19-2010, 07:16 AM   #107 (permalink)
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Location: Los Angeles, CA
I had given my babies mama (unmarried with children) a condom to keep in her purse incase we needed it. A couple weeks later we were up in the mountains and I wanted to get it on, only to find out that apparently the condom had come open while being jostled around in her purse... or at least that was her story. So I am kinda in the same boat, but I have not come to an conclusions, until I can prove otherwise her story seems possible.
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Old 12-28-2010, 03:43 PM   #108 (permalink)
Upright
 
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Location: N Atlanta Georgia
This is too funny!!!
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Old 04-18-2011, 10:26 AM   #109 (permalink)
Upright
 
"last night i counted and found one missed condom ,what does it mean?.i hav been married since last 1 yr,and i usually work in night sift,can i assume that she slept with another male"


Either that or she's making balloon animals.

Or maybe you'll find it under a cupboard or something?

I keep a condom in my wallet. I lost my wallet today, took two hours to find it. It was on the floor under my bed, the contents had fallen out. I quickly grabbed the change and notes, however there was £5 and the condom missing. Should I assume that the missing rubber and cash are under my bed? Or that my wallet is paying for sex with transients?

Jazz post #21.
“Ok, ok, it's not me. I need 2 condoms.” – Is that because you have the same problem Jason Biggs had in American pie? I understand they have products to help with that.
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