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Old 09-30-2004, 03:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
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Men, you need to read (and memorize) this...

This is based on a lot of reaserch. You'll want to know this.

There are 28 days in a womans mensrtual cycle. This cycle is what really determines how things go between you and her. For example, on Day 24 you should learn to duck. I talked to sex experts and discovered how the hormonal fluxes in a woman's body affect her moods-and your life-throughout the month. Now I have a handy schedule for you to consult when you want to know which days you're going to have sex, which days your going to get yelled at, and which days your going to get yelled at durring sex.

DAY 1 TO 5: She's ready to iron and fold
What's happening to her: She may complain of cramps a few days before this, but this is where the cycle really starts. Her estrogen levels are dropping, so there's only a 2% chance she'll get pregnate if you have sex. That would be great news, except you won't be having sex right now. Thanks to those low estrogen levels, she currently sees you as a large lump of cells in a stupid shirt.
Your strategy: Lack of estrogen can also trigger insomnia and restlessness, which is why many women feel the urge to clean and organize durring these days, says Christine Northrup, M.D., author of Women's Bodies, Women's Widsdom (I read it so you wouldn't have to). My suggestion: Forget about sex and point her to the clothes.

DAYS 6 TO 9: She's up for anything
What's happening to her: She's calmer and happier now because her body is saturated in feel-good hormones and endorphins. "That means she's more receptive to new and creative ideas," says Northrup.
Your strategy: Break out the new and creative ideas! This is the time to settle old disputes and get buy-in on your golf trip with the guys.

DAYS 10 TO 14: She's horney.
What's happening to her: A rise in the hormone androgen has rekindled her interest in sex. This causes the thin lining of mucus around her cervix-deep inside er at the entrance to the uterus-to become thin and watery.
Your strategy: Your woman's so ready, you may not need more than a few minutes of foreplay. "Set the mood in a few seconds by telling her how much you want to have sex with her," says Tara Roth Madden, author of Romance on the Run--Quality Sex for Bust Couples. Your pants should be off before you finish the sentence.

DAY 15: She's really horney
What's happening to her: On the positive side, she CRAVES sex because she's at her most fertile. On the negative side, the sex doesn't necessarily have to be with you. Research shows she's mroe likely to be unfaithful during this time. In one study, researchers observed 500 women in nightclubs and found that they were more likely to wear revealing clothes and send suggestive signals to men in this pahse of their cycle. Naturally, the researchers still went home alone.
Your strategy: Don't let her out of the house by herself. Instead, take advantage of her adventerous mood by trying a new position or location.

DAYS 16 TO 23: She's a lesbian
What's happening to her: Her estrogen level is dropping again, so she's less fertile. Research shows that during these 8 days, she's mroe attracted to feminine-looking men because they appear more nurturing (as I call it, the Justin Timberlake factor). She's no longer looking for a strong man to provide sturdy genes and protection.
Your strategy: Shave and put on some Melissa Etheridge.

DAYS 24 TO 28 She could crack at any moment
What's happening to her: Estrogen continues to fall aas tantrum-provoking progesterone rises. This leads to premenstrual syndrome, during which she'll be extra sensitive to criticism, more neurotic about ehr looks, and more likely to thrrow a fit, or a Crock-Pot.
Your strategy: Play tennis or go run with her-vigorous exercise can reduce her symptoms. That way, if she "feels fat", at least she's doing something about it.

DAYS 26 TO 28: She's craving ice cream and jelly beans
What's happening to her: Her estrogen and progerterone levels are falling as her body prepares to start the cycle all voer again. Low estrogen causes her to crave high-fat foods such as chocolate, which studies show can elevate mood.
Your strategy: Indulge her cravings by taking her out to eat rather than bringing home some Ben & Jerry's. Reason? She'll eat the whole tub and blame you for letting herr do it.


Memorize this, cut and paste this. It has been a great resource for explaining moods for me for going on 2 years.

UPDATE - Bonus program for your Mac!
Female Alert System!
http://home.comcast.net/~jeff.ulicny...rtainment.html
Scroll down to the 5th feature.

DIGG

Please note that this information in this post was compiled by the poster, based on several books including Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Dr. Christine Northrup and Romance on the Run-Quality Sex for Busy Couples by Tara Roth Madden. I also contacted Dr. Al Cooper, clinical director at San Jose Medical Center who is an expert in male and female sexuality. Information from this post has been used by Men's Health Magazine.

Last edited by Willravel; 02-28-2007 at 02:03 PM..
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Old 09-30-2004, 03:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Lol, thanks. Will do.
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Old 09-30-2004, 03:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
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hahaha thats awesome!!
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Old 09-30-2004, 03:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Except that cycles don't perfectly follow the 28 day plan. What happens when a girl goes for two months without one?

(This was probably just a joke post.)
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Old 09-30-2004, 04:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I shall devote this to memory... And then it will backfire since Untitled already read it :P
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Old 09-30-2004, 04:58 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by la petite moi
Except that cycles don't perfectly follow the 28 day plan. What happens when a girl goes for two months without one?

(This was probably just a joke post.)
I'm glad you pointed this out. This is a general informative post. It does not apply to all women, as not all women have the same length of cycle. There are other factors involved as well. This is a guideline to explain in more detail what happens. The days are rough estamites, one could say.
If a girl goes two months without it (irregular, but not unheard of) on a normal basis, there may be a ormone problem. I suggest contacting your doctor. If your doctor says everything is okay, then just simply double the plan, as odds are that your full cycle is doubled in size.

Pay attention to two or three cycles in order to determine the average length of a cycle in a case by case basis, and remember: this was written by a man (me). All the secondary knowledge in the world still pales in comparison to first hand knowledge.
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Old 09-30-2004, 04:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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...And this was not a joke post. Understanding your partner is important.
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Old 09-30-2004, 05:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
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You are completely right except ....... this all changes once you get married. It is like day 24-28 keep cycleing over and over and over and.............


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Old 09-30-2004, 05:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
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hmm, I must say, the days are off slightly, but that's to be expected, otherwise... I pretty much fit in right about here
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Old 09-30-2004, 07:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
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This is probably a stupid question, but when exactly is the start of a woman's menstrual cycle? The first day she gets her period?
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Old 09-30-2004, 08:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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As I understand it, the actual beginning proper is the beginning of the follicular phase, when FSH* and LH** levels are increased relative to the baseline.

*folicle stimulating hormone: secreted by the anterior pituitary gland and is essential for follicular growth until the antrum developes. It induces estrogen and progesterone secretion at the level of the ovary by activating aromatase and p450 enzymes and exerts negative feedback onGnRH secretion. FSH further induces the proliferation of granulosa cells and expression of LH receptors on granulosa cells.
**luteinizing hormone: secreted by the anterior pituitary gland and is required for both growth of preovulatory follicles and luteinization and ovulation of the dominant follicle. During the follicular phase of the menstrual cycle, LH induces androgen synthesis by theca cells; stimulates proliferation, differentiation, and secretion of follicular thecal cells; and increases LH receptors on granulosa cells. The preovulatory LH surge drives the oocyte into the first meiotic division and initiates luteinization of thecal and granulosa cells. The resulting corpus luteum produces high levels of progesterone and some estrogen.
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Old 09-30-2004, 09:26 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willravel
As I understand it, the actual beginning proper is the beginning of the follicular phase, when FSH* and LH** levels are increased relative to the baseline.

*folicle stimulating hormone: secreted by the anterior pituitary gland and is essential for follicular growth until the antrum developes. It induces estrogen and progesterone secretion at the level of the ovary by activating aromatase and p450 enzymes and exerts negative feedback onGnRH secretion. FSH further induces the proliferation of granulosa cells and expression of LH receptors on granulosa cells.
**luteinizing hormone: secreted by the anterior pituitary gland and is required for both growth of preovulatory follicles and luteinization and ovulation of the dominant follicle. During the follicular phase of the menstrual cycle, LH induces androgen synthesis by theca cells; stimulates proliferation, differentiation, and secretion of follicular thecal cells; and increases LH receptors on granulosa cells. The preovulatory LH surge drives the oocyte into the first meiotic division and initiates luteinization of thecal and granulosa cells. The resulting corpus luteum produces high levels of progesterone and some estrogen.
So, at what point in a Man's cycle is he propelled to answer simple questions with unduly technical answers?
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Old 09-30-2004, 09:52 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Unduly technical answers = covers the answer completly and clearly, so no need to repeat.
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Old 09-30-2004, 11:25 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saut
This is probably a stupid question, but when exactly is the start of a woman's menstrual cycle? The first day she gets her period?
Quote:
Originally Posted by willravel
As I understand it, the actual beginning proper is the beginning of the follicular phase, when FSH* and LH** levels are increased relative to the baseline.
Not trying to be a dick here but I don't think you answered his question, unless he knows how the "follicular phase" coincides with menstruation; which for the record, I think is a good one (the question) since I sure as hell don't know either.

When does the cycle start? Beginning of menstruation? Beginning of ovulation? When Saturn and Pluto are aligned with the moon? When she damn well says it does?

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Old 10-01-2004, 12:11 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinion
When does the cycle start? Beginning of menstruation? Beginning of ovulation? When Saturn and Pluto are aligned with the moon? When she damn well says it does?

The cycle starts from the first day of a woman's period until the day before her new menstruation starts
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Old 10-01-2004, 01:58 AM   #16 (permalink)
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pretty damn good. lol..thanks
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Old 10-01-2004, 06:44 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Whether or not a girl's cycle is exactly 28 days, all bodies go through the same order of hormone changes. So guys, if you know your girl well, you can still pick up on her moods, even if it won't be EXACTLY day 4, etc. My ex knew my cycle times almost better than I did. Still not an excuse to let PMS control behavior. Saying I'm sorry does help when you do get carried away.
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Old 10-01-2004, 09:03 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I like hearing (reading) womens feedback on this. The reason I posted it, in addition for it being a source of information for some guys who might just not know, is for more information to be added by those who know the subject extensivly; women. Thanks to all who help out on this important subject (I say important, because the more guys know, the happier women can be to be treated in the way that best supports her cycle).
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Old 10-01-2004, 10:16 PM   #19 (permalink)
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My girlfriend only has her period 4 time a year, she can skip it for 3 months at a time with birth control... god bless birth control
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Old 10-02-2004, 07:02 PM   #20 (permalink)
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My girlfriend is on Depo, which seems to prevent periods.
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Old 10-02-2004, 07:37 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Does it prevent the mood alterations? I've been kinda curious about it since I saw the commercials.
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Old 10-02-2004, 07:48 PM   #22 (permalink)
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quite helpful, now all I have to do is figure out when day one starts.
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Old 10-02-2004, 07:55 PM   #23 (permalink)
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lol, I like it, I'm gonna have to compare that to my new GF's moods
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Old 10-02-2004, 08:10 PM   #24 (permalink)
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So basically this gives us men like 3-4 days of dealing with a normal person
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Old 10-02-2004, 08:20 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mosha
So basically this gives us men like 3-4 days of dealing with a normal person

Who ever said girls were normal, ever?

Think of it as becoming very good friends with all sides of our personalities. But it would be wise to avoid a cheerleading squad if the girls are on their period. It's been shown that girls who spend a lot of time together, especially in a setting like that start to have their cycles at the same time. A whole time of hormone raging cheerleaders angry at you might not be such a good thing.
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Old 10-02-2004, 08:50 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amonkie
Who ever said girls were normal, ever?

Think of it as becoming very good friends with all sides of our personalities. But it would be wise to avoid a cheerleading squad if the girls are on their period. It's been shown that girls who spend a lot of time together, especially in a setting like that start to have their cycles at the same time. A whole time of hormone raging cheerleaders angry at you might not be such a good thing.
This is true. I've seen it happen. It's facinating from a scientific point of view. I wonder how that trait came to be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mosha
So basically this gives us men like 3-4 days of dealing with a normal person[.]
Acutally no. Women are still the wonderful beautiful people they always were (brownie points). Their mood changes just the same ours gets during the NFL playoffs. The mood, as you might have observed, can change a lot during a cycle, or almost not at all. Most women are normal every day of the month. Somtimes, however, they are not. When they are not, it's good to know why they are not and what to do to make them (and maybe you) comfortable and happy.
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Old 12-03-2004, 11:22 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Ok, so I made a mental note to count out the days the last two months, and like clockwork on day 15 my wife was all over me. I think I might have to put a reoccuring reminder on my calender so I don't forget.
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Old 12-03-2004, 12:24 PM   #28 (permalink)
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"DAYS 10 TO 14: She's horney.
What's happening to her: A rise in the hormone androgen has rekindled her interest in sex. This causes the thin lining of mucus around her cervix-deep inside er at the entrance to the uterus-to become thin and watery.
Your strategy: Your woman's so ready, you may not need more than a few minutes of foreplay. "Set the mood in a few seconds by telling her how much you want to have sex with her," says Tara Roth Madden, author of Romance on the Run--Quality Sex for Bust Couples. Your pants should be off before you finish the sentence."

soo i'm totally off here...about then is when i start wanting to eat men alive..and not in the "mmm so hot baby" way..in the "mmm fresh blood" way...

and when exactly am i supposed to want to iron? never felt that. ever.

but since it seems to follow the other women here pretty close i guess i'm just the freakish outcast
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Old 12-08-2004, 11:39 AM   #29 (permalink)
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This explains alot
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Old 12-08-2004, 12:16 PM   #30 (permalink)
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It's been shown that the length a woman's period actually decreases when she lives with a male. They also tend to become more regular.

As for the menstrual cycle synchronizing with other female's when they live in close quarters; it may be due to a hold-over from when males would have multiple mates. If all of the females are fertile at the same time it increases the chances of conception. If the females were not all fertile at the same time it would be up to chance since ancient humans had no "real" way to determine fertility.

Males have hormonal cycles too ... where does the theory fit in with that?
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Old 12-08-2004, 01:02 PM   #31 (permalink)
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TY for the info, vanblah. I have my wifes schedule maped out aswell, avsdude. Belive me, it helps. The idea is to learn her cycle, and then to try to help her by satiating her need (or desires) as she needs them satiated.
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Old 12-08-2004, 05:12 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Yeah, my wife and I have the cycle down to a science... it's like clockwork and good times for me
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Old 12-08-2004, 05:23 PM   #33 (permalink)
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y'know, I've been "cycling" for over ten years, and never noticed this pattern...or any pattern, really, other than "ugh, I feel crappy. time for chocolate and naps."

Well, okay, it's always a good time for chocolate and naps. But I'm definitely going to pay more attention this time around.
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Old 12-08-2004, 06:35 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Thanks for the info and very humorous!
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Old 12-08-2004, 06:40 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Yes, indeed! A good read!
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Old 12-08-2004, 06:45 PM   #36 (permalink)
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lol thanks for the post - I'll keep that in mind .. might have to test it out somehow
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Old 12-08-2004, 08:23 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Thanks, Good info
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Old 12-08-2004, 11:29 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Im a fan of when My Woman enters the Horny stage... Thats a good few days... Now I just need to map her moods according to this chart and then extrapolate some stuff and make me a schedule that will allow for optimum sexage.
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Old 12-08-2004, 11:42 PM   #39 (permalink)
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When I get home I am saving this to my hard drive. I plan on creating a new religion, The Church of the Conquering Menstrinity of Latter Day Flows. This shall be my bible.
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Old 12-09-2004, 06:55 AM   #40 (permalink)
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I told my wife 13 years ago I'm not changing my behavior based on her hormones. Oddly enough it worked and she is in better control of herself/emotions.
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