Men. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Shoowop · 07-02-2007, 05:00 AM

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.

3. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

4. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

5. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.

6. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
7. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

8. The only person you can control is you.
9. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

10. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

11. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

12. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

13. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

14. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

15. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

16. Never let a man define who you are.

17. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

18. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

19. You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is a two way street.

20. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

21. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

22. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

23. Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

24. Never move into his mother's house.

25. Never co-sign for a man.

26. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

27. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Sultana · 07-02-2007, 09:25 AM

Interesting, and some very good points. Where did this come from?

maleficent · 07-02-2007, 09:46 AM

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/oprah.asp

it might be the gospel according to oprah it might not be

hunnychile · 07-02-2007, 01:46 PM

These are mostly true in many ways, but perhaps we can edit them to make them "more realistic". No relationship is by the book...

i.e. - never Co-sign for someone who has a shaky past. Even gal pals.

Not all men are dogs...I've met some pretty messed up women out there who use men worse than the other way around.

Just being fair.

Shoowop · 07-02-2007, 03:10 PM

I agree. I have met some women who are just as bad as some men I have come across in my day. A friend of mine posted these in her blog, but I'm not sure where they originated.

Laugh-O-Matic · 07-05-2007, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shoowop

8. The only person you can control is you.

On a lighter note though, you can always bend a man to do what you want by tempting them with either sex or cajoling them with the good ol' puppy-dog eyes.

little_tippler · 07-09-2007, 05:26 AM

Reading through this list, all of these things ring true for me, looking back on past relationships. It's hard to see things this way when you're with someone though... I hope I don't make those mistakes again.

abaya · 07-09-2007, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laugh-O-Matic

On a lighter note though, you can always bend a man to do what you want by tempting them with either sex or cajoling them with the good ol' puppy-dog eyes.

Is this really how you conduct your relationships? I hope this was only on a lighter note, and not true. Even in joking, it only helps to increase the stereotype of women as manipulators, which I don't appreciate.

Laugh-O-Matic · 07-10-2007, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

Is this really how you conduct your relationships? I hope this was only on a lighter note, and not true. Even in joking, it only helps to increase the stereotype of women as manipulators, which I don't appreciate.

All on a lighter note, I know a lot of people who do this of a regular basis, I reserve the latter bit for tight spots.

07-02-2007, 05:00 AM	#1 (permalink)
Shoowop Upright Location: My roots are in Michigan, but my heart is across the pond.	Men. 1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. 2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache. 3. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. 4. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. 5. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. 6. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. 7. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. 8. The only person you can control is you. 9. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? 10. Always have your own set of friends separate from his. 11. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. 12. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. 13. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. 14. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. 15. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. 16. Never let a man define who you are. 17. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. 18. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. 19. You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is a two way street. 20. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship 21. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. 22. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. 23. Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. 24. Never move into his mother's house. 25. Never co-sign for a man. 26. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. 27. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. __________________ "They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?"

07-02-2007, 09:25 AM	#2 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	Interesting, and some very good points. Where did this come from? __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

07-02-2007, 09:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	http://www.snopes.com/quotes/oprah.asp it might be the gospel according to oprah it might not be __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

07-02-2007, 01:46 PM	#4 (permalink)
hunnychile Alien Anthropologist Location: Between Boredom and Nirvana	These are mostly true in many ways, but perhaps we can edit them to make them "more realistic". No relationship is by the book... i.e. - never Co-sign for someone who has a shaky past. Even gal pals. Not all men are dogs...I've met some pretty messed up women out there who use men worse than the other way around. Just being fair. __________________ "I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB Last edited by hunnychile; 07-02-2007 at 01:49 PM..

07-02-2007, 03:10 PM	#5 (permalink)
Shoowop Upright Location: My roots are in Michigan, but my heart is across the pond.	I agree. I have met some women who are just as bad as some men I have come across in my day. A friend of mine posted these in her blog, but I'm not sure where they originated. __________________ "They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?"

07-09-2007, 05:26 AM	#7 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	Reading through this list, all of these things ring true for me, looking back on past relationships. It's hard to see things this way when you're with someone though... I hope I don't make those mistakes again. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918