Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Ladies Lounge


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-22-2003, 09:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Somewhere between the Havens and the Earth
Need another opinion. . . how far before cheating?

I was wondering how far and what you can do with someone without cheating on your partner. I jsut want honest opinions and i know it is bad to cheat but i would like to know what is ok and what is not and i do know that sex is not ok.
__________________
from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel
fallen_angel is offline  
Old 07-22-2003, 09:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
SiN
strangelove
 
SiN's Avatar
 
Location: ...more here than there...
hmm...and this needs to be asked several times?

(btw, the proper other forum (because perhaps in here and 'out there' is ok...to bet both perspectives, but i could be totally wrong..) would have been tilted sexuality, NoT GD)

now, i'm gonna, in here, answer your question with another -

why do you wanna kno?

you cheating? or wondering if your SO is/did?

(if you say just curious, i dunno if i'll believe you. i smell ulterior motive..)

__________________
- + - ° GiRLie GeeK ° - + - °
01110010011011110110111101110100001000000110110101100101
Therell be days/When Ill stray/I may appear to be/Constantly out of reach/I give in to sin/Because I like to practise what I preach
SiN is offline  
Old 07-22-2003, 10:04 PM   #3 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Vancouver
asides from actually having sex with another person, if you feel that you have to gain the acceptance and support of other ppl or feel reluctant and uneasy before confronting your partner...you're probably cheating to some extent [not YOU perse, but anyone].
__________________
-poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another-
lafemmefatale is offline  
Old 07-23-2003, 04:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 
*Nikki*'s Avatar
 
Location: Charleston, SC
Anything that you do without your S.O. having knowledge of it and it involves another man/woman.......it is cheating.

Lieing=cheating.
*Nikki* is offline  
Old 07-23-2003, 06:35 AM   #5 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: 'bout 2 feet from my iMac
If you know your SO would be hurt by it, it's cheating.

Better to be honest and break up w/ sxomeone then hurt them like that.
cheerios is offline  
Old 07-23-2003, 07:44 AM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Minx's Avatar
 
Location: Up yonder
If it is anything you wouldn't consider doing if your SO was watching, then it's obviously wrong.
And, I agree with cheerios....if you are in this situation or thinking of it - it's not fair to hurt the person you are with. Best to end it before anyone gets hurt by it.
__________________
You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!
Minx is offline  
Old 07-23-2003, 08:17 AM   #7 (permalink)
Psycho
 
shannon's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
i'd agree with the anything your SO doesn't know about. my SO and i don't really mind kissing other people, cause when we started dating we were pretty well each others first kiss. we figured that we should allow each other to kiss others, because otherwise we may end up married for like 20 years and wonder then what it's like to kiss other people, which would be more confusing then just being a bit open when young in the relationship. but if my SO kissed another girl and didn't tell me, then i'd be really hurt, cause if we're going to be open we should at least be open about it, you know? too many opens. anyways, i'm sure you get the idea.
shannon is offline  
Old 07-23-2003, 03:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Everyone defines cheating differently. In my opinion the best way to figure out your limits is to discuss them with your SO. I really don't think anyone else can define cheating for you since everyone has different tolerence levels. Basically though, you just need to do what makes you happy.
Peutetre is offline  
Old 07-24-2003, 03:53 AM   #9 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: 'bout 2 feet from my iMac
aah the voice of wisdom arrives. best answer yet, in my opinion, Peutetre. welcome back, btw, haven't seen ya in awhile!
cheerios is offline  
Old 07-26-2003, 10:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
Upright
 
cheating starts with the heart...your thoughts....in your mind
Pandabear is offline  
Old 07-27-2003, 07:35 PM   #11 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: Somewhere near Hubby
Quote:
Originally posted by Peutetre
Everyone defines cheating differently. In my opinion the best way to figure out your limits is to discuss them with your SO. I really don't think anyone else can define cheating for you since everyone has different tolerence levels. Basically though, you just need to do what makes you happy.
Ask your SO, "How far would you *like* to be able to go with another woman before I would consider it cheating..."

That should start an interesting discussion.
angela146 is offline  
Old 07-28-2003, 05:14 AM   #12 (permalink)
SiN
strangelove
 
SiN's Avatar
 
Location: ...more here than there...
Quote:
Originally posted by angela146
Ask your SO, "How far would you *like* to be able to go with another woman before I would consider it cheating..."

That should start an interesting discussion.
woah..that is an interesting perspective.

i may have to ponder that a bit...
__________________
- + - ° GiRLie GeeK ° - + - °
01110010011011110110111101110100001000000110110101100101
Therell be days/When Ill stray/I may appear to be/Constantly out of reach/I give in to sin/Because I like to practise what I preach
SiN is offline  
Old 07-28-2003, 08:20 PM   #13 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: Somewhere near Hubby
Quote:
Originally posted by SiN
woah..that is an interesting perspective.

i may have to ponder that a bit...
Yes... By starting with his boundaries rather than yours, you are likely to get a less restrictive answer.

Then the real question is: "Well, would it be OK for *me* to go that far?"
angela146 is offline  
Old 07-28-2003, 09:22 PM   #14 (permalink)
Happy as a hippo
 
StormBerlin's Avatar
 
Location: Southern California
I think anything you aren't willing to tell to your partner is cheating. Expecially is it's something that you flat out lie about. A relationship is about trust and if you violate that trust by not being completely honest, that's cheating.
__________________
"if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane
StormBerlin is offline  
Old 08-02-2003, 07:02 PM   #15 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Somewhere in the middle
I agree with cheerios, if it will hurt your SO, then you shouldn't do it. If you're having those thoughts, maybe you and you SO aren't meant to be.
Steffi is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 03:57 PM   #16 (permalink)
M&M
Upright
 
Location: texas
Damn, Angel. You have fallen. I saw your post on what's a slut. Now this. The opinions you get here may not help much. The positions are wide and varied, and you have no way of really knowing what type of person is giving them. My advise. Find someone you respect; who seems to you to have it togather, and ask them for a little direction. The most balanced and together people in the world use emulation as a way of building healthy habits and a healthy personallity. I'm no moralist. Wild-some-bitch in my day. I say live life the way you want, but find out what you want. Good luck.

Last edited by M&M; 08-04-2003 at 04:01 PM..
M&M is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 04:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: NH
I'm firmly in the "if you can't tell your SO about it, then it's cheating" camping. Trust and honesty are two cornerstones of my relationship with i8one2.

I also think discussing limits with your SO is is a great idea.
__________________
Drawing strength from His acceptance, offering all that I am and ever will be
galaxygirl is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 08:24 PM   #18 (permalink)
Upright
 
I wouldn't want my man to lust after another woman...let alone go and do things with her. Would you want him to go make out with someone else when that someone else really should be you?
o2real is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 10:54 PM   #19 (permalink)
Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash
 
anti fishstick's Avatar
 
Location: oregon
Quote:
Yes... By starting with his boundaries rather than yours, you are likely to get a less restrictive answer.

Then the real question is: "Well, would it be OK for *me* to go that far?"
haha. nice standard there. i'd LIKE to go as far as meeting new people.. boy OR girl. and hang out with them platonically. but i'm a one-on-one kinda gal. so my bf doesn't like it when i hang out with other guys. which is lame. then he says i need to meet a hot bi girl so he can be that much closer to his threesome fantasy. hah. gotta love him
__________________
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin
anti fishstick is offline  
Old 08-08-2003, 01:09 AM   #20 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: University of Maryland at College Park
I have a penis where all my brains are and cannot read, therefore I've been dealt with accordingly.

Last edited by JadziaDax; 08-08-2003 at 04:58 AM..
h2g2Fan is offline  
Old 08-09-2003, 05:13 PM   #21 (permalink)
so many men...so little time.
 
Location: Bellingham
Obviously if you are in a position to consider such a thing, there is something that you seem to be lacking in this relationship of yours. You may want to leave that relationship prior to doing anything drastic because the guilt or whatever may be too overbearing...on your behalf and his...but hey...it's only an opinion...
txgirl is offline  
Old 08-11-2003, 09:15 PM   #22 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Quote:
Originally posted by txgirl
Obviously if you are in a position to consider such a thing, there is something that you seem to be lacking in this relationship of yours. You may want to leave that relationship prior to doing anything drastic because the guilt or whatever may be too overbearing...on your behalf and his...but hey...it's only an opinion...
Hmm... I'm not sure what you are getting at.. but .. not every relationship has to fit in a set mold. Some people just aren't happy with 'traditional' relationships. Nothing wrong with that.. just a different way of life than yours....
Peutetre is offline  
Old 08-20-2003, 08:09 PM   #23 (permalink)
Mel
Tilted
 
Location: Auckland
Anything sexual you do with someone else that you wouldn't want to tell your boyfriend/husband about.. cause you know it is cheating just think about it next time if you will tell him/her or not
__________________
And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping. The moon tells me a secret. My confidant. As full and bright as I am, this light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me It's source is bright and endless. She resuscitates the hopeless Without her we are lifeless satellites drifting
Mel is offline  
Old 09-06-2003, 06:01 PM   #24 (permalink)
Tilted
 
..

Last edited by rosie21; 05-21-2007 at 01:16 PM..
rosie21 is offline  
Old 09-07-2003, 06:41 AM   #25 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Dallas
Quote:
Originally posted by Peutetre
Everyone defines cheating differently. In my opinion the best way to figure out your limits is to discuss them with your SO. I really don't think anyone else can define cheating for you since everyone has different tolerence levels. Basically though, you just need to do what makes you happy.
Well put Peutetre...and I fully agree....cause you can justify anything if you want to.
__________________
Whatever
Ladyhawke is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 12:58 PM   #26 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Austin
I think just seriously thinking about cheating is cheating, at least in your mind. If you are very attracted to this person, you need to stay away from him/her in order to protect yourself and your relationship. If you hold hands, kiss, etc, I think that's cheating, too.
If you become seriously attracted to someone, unless you have an understanding with you s.o. that there is an open relationship, t hen you need to not do anything about it.
__________________
"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead" Ben Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac.

Meff r0x
Shyla Loral is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 03:53 PM   #27 (permalink)
Turn off your TV.
 
Location: ... .- -. ..-. .-. .- -. -.-. .. ... -.-. --- --..-- -.-. .-
Quote:
Originally posted by Shyla Loral
I think just seriously thinking about cheating is cheating, at least in your mind. If you are very attracted to this person, you need to stay away from him/her in order to protect yourself and your relationship. If you hold hands, kiss, etc, I think that's cheating, too.
If you become seriously attracted to someone, unless you have an understanding with you s.o. that there is an open relationship, t hen you need to not do anything about it.
Yes, don't make this mistake. Cheating is cheating, and it will save you a lot of heartache if you just follow this advice. Just stay away/avoid this person unless you want to doom your current relationship. It's really, really easy to fall into this trap, as I know from experience. If it's not a geniunely open relationship and you haven't talked it over, don't get involved, and leave it at that.
__________________
"inhuman fiery goat worship" is an anagram for "information superhighway" -kingvolc
collide is offline  
Old 09-17-2003, 02:13 PM   #28 (permalink)
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
 
raeanna74's Avatar
 
Location: Upper Michigan
Ok Dei37 and I have an open relationship to an extent. We swing/swap with other couples. We never do anything without each other at least in the same home and without each other knowing what is going on. We share what went on and how we felt about it after ever time we meet a couple. We don't feel this is cheating because it's a mutual thing and we agree on what is going on. It had taught us to trust each other and forced us to have much more open clearn communication between us.

IF either one of us were to go off and have sexual relations with another person or even get physical (kissing, petting) with another person without telling each other about it later we would consider it cheating. Now we both scope out women on the street and flirt openly with others when we're together or not. That is the part that you need to discuss with your significant other. If you wouldn't appreciate him doing it then I would suggest you shouldn't do it.
__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
raeanna74 is offline  
 

Tags
cheating, opinion

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:18 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360