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Old 04-28-2003, 03:29 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Charleston, SC
Ever used a man for sex??

Ok we know men do it all the time. That is because they talk about it. However I know some women who do it too. It is just a more hush hush subject because women will get labeled with names where men will be hero and studs.

So have you ever used a man for sex?? Just because he looked so damn fine, or maybe he was just an awesome fuck!!


I have never even had sex with someone I didn't have feelings for so I don't know what it would be like.
Being single though has put all kinds of crazy ideas into my head lately and this was just one of many things I was wondering.
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Old 04-28-2003, 04:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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As long as you both know it's just about the sex it can be awesome. Of course, it can also be akward, or mediocre, or just plain flat. Depends on the chemistry and your expectations. In my (wide ranging) experience, the hottest looking guys don't necessarily make the best lovers. Back in the day (when the mullet was all the rage) my rule of thumb was to avoid any man who looked like he spent longer fixing his hair than I did.

Good luck!
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Old 04-28-2003, 04:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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LOL...the first time I ever used a guy for sex was just a couple months ago. It was my friends' roommate...didn't know him particularly well and his most appealing characteristic was his soft N.C. drawl and his lack of a serious attachment. One night, I crashed in his room after getting seriously wasted and he asked if I wanted to have sex...so I said sure.

Two weeks later I slept with him again and left immediately afterwards--which drew a comment from him: "Is that all? Wham, bam, thank you dude?" to which I stuck out my tongue and said yes. Haven't really seen him since, and my friends--nearly four months later--are still laughing over the fact that I used him the way he was used to using girls. Ha!
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Old 04-28-2003, 05:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
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No I have never used a guy for sex. One time maybe I thought I was, but then I developed feelings for him. But that was a long time ago.
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Old 04-28-2003, 06:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Nope. I could never use someone and toy with their heart.
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Old 04-28-2003, 06:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
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nope, not me
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Old 04-28-2003, 06:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
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The thought is tempting...very tempting...but I'd feel like crap if it was done to me, so I guess I wouldn't...

Wait, how hot is he again?
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Old 04-28-2003, 06:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I tried that whole "fuck buddy" thing with this guy I had a crush on for a long time, but we only slept together twice before I realized how unfulfilling it was, and that I didn't really want that sort of relationship after all. Made me feel kind of dirty, in fact.

The sex pretty much sucked actually, but that had no bearing on my decision. I decided that from that point on, sex would be reserved for someone I cared about on a deeper level than just "crush" or when I was really desperate. (I had desperate times, as well)

The second time around, it did seem like nothing more than just a mutual using-of-the-naughty-bits session, which is what made me change my attitude about sex.
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Old 04-28-2003, 07:05 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I don't lower myself to their level and neither should any of you. It's men like that who ruin a girl's perception of the gender. I was on my last straw with boys until I met my current bf, I had been used, abused, and then cut loose. I have nothing against consentual "friends with benefits" but toying with a guy just for sex is just wrong. Luckly many guys are smart enough not to "use" a girl and while they may be the minority, it's up to us ladies to reward them with love not lies. Sure revenge may be fun if you think you can dick over a "bad guy" the way his friends dicked you, but who wins? really... was the sex all that great? I guess what I'm trying to say is that sex isn't a toy, it isn't a weapon and it sure as hell isn't free. Give it those who deserve it and keep it from those who would waste it. Sorry to be up on my soap box, but I'm tired of seeing other women use it the same way some guys use it on us.

(Side note) my rant does not encompass the many galls who go out for a night of fun, meet a handsome man they have no intention of ever talking to again, and then hook up with them for the evening. Casual sex can be great I'm sure if you are safe. And it's pretty much an accepted norm that unless somebody calls back a day or so later it was a one time deal where nobody is really getting hurt and everybody wins. The real target of my rant is to ladies who find guys for their body and use them repeatedly for just that. It's no better than finding some nerd to do your homework or tutor you except this time you are using him for brains instead of brawns. It's low... it's cheap and it isn't something any of us should do.
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Old 04-29-2003, 04:50 AM   #10 (permalink)
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does my husband count? I use him for sex all the time... I am loving his new job, he comes home for a quicky at lunchtime, fast furious I'm going to be late back to work sex.


... if I've used a guy for sex, it's been known by both parties beforehand.. Jaid and I enjoy 3somes (the few we've had), haven't done a 4some because we haven't found a couple that everything clicks right with, but I don't know that that would be considered using a guy for sex. *shrugs* Who knows? I don't think I have, the world may feel differently, but then again, the world feels differently about a lot of things than me.

edit: I think it would be under friends with benefits, we still talk to the 2 people we've had in 3somes. One's back in Cali, so that's all it can be is just talk, but I still think they fall under that FWB umbrella.
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Old 04-29-2003, 07:46 AM   #11 (permalink)
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dont think i could ever use anyone like that, just wouldn't feel right
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Old 04-29-2003, 08:00 AM   #12 (permalink)
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oh yes, i have.

i went thru a phase..i was once told (by another female) that i was rahter 'predatory' in my quest for boys...

was fun while it lasted, but certainly only a phase, not a way of life.
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Old 04-29-2003, 01:38 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Last edited by suviko; 05-29-2004 at 10:56 PM..
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Old 04-29-2003, 02:38 PM   #14 (permalink)
SiN
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Quote:
Originally posted by suviko
.. but I had a need to use men after breaking up with First Big Love and Relationship.
hihii..that was kinda my motivation too..i was in a 3 yr relationship, and then another fairly serious but short one. i ended that one because i wanted to have some 'fun', taste all the different kinds of candy or summin..
and i sure did.

nice thing tho..after all that sluttin around then some time off, now i've found someone who i want to spend the rest of my life with, and everything's so different now, almost felt like a virgin when i first had sex with me hunny.

go figure.
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Old 04-29-2003, 09:57 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I never have either. Come close but couldn't get my mind and heart on the same track.

Sex is to imtimate to waste on someone I don't love.
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Old 05-14-2003, 02:12 PM   #16 (permalink)
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yes. but they knew it too. and then I found out whatever it was I had been having for the past upteen years I was married was NOT sex. THIS WAS SEX!

I refer to him as my boy toy. But he's in his mid 30's. When I have the need, I call. When he has the need, he calls. It has only been since March, so not that long. But both of us know it is strictly for sex.

I was feeling very down the last time I was with him, bummed over another guy I had feelings for but couldn't see. So when he called, I figured this would help.

It didn't though. All it did was satisfy a sexual need, not the emotional one. :0(
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Old 06-02-2009, 10:39 AM   #17 (permalink)
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(Since Jazz is bringing up some old threads, I thought I'd do a few in the LL since he's a guy and isnt supposed to post in them )

this one was going on not too long before I joined and I never saw it

Yes I have used a few guys for sex....and sex only cause they werent really good for anything else so it would be sex and I'd be out the door (similar to what Snowy said). Being in the BDSM lifestyle also lent to several "sex only" occasions.

The last one I tried this with though....I married...funny how that worked out
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Old 06-02-2009, 11:01 AM   #18 (permalink)
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A couple times. Last one was a guy I met a few days before I went on a date that led to a year-long relationship. Brought him home, had quite a bit of fun in the sack, we hung out for the rest of the day. Had I not already been interested in someone else I hadn't yet met in person, I probably would have (and should have) dated him.

We stayed in touch a little bit, but I haven't seen him since.
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Old 06-02-2009, 12:36 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Yes, we used each other. Can't say that I would ever do that again, because sex for me is much better when there is love involved. I don't regret it either, he was really hot and I just had to... twice.
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Old 06-02-2009, 01:02 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Right after my last major breakup, I went out for the express purpose of "getting some strange". Picked up a guy, brought him home, kicked him out when I was ready to go to sleep. Not my finest hour, but certainly not among my regrets.
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Old 06-02-2009, 04:10 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Well...the using was really mutual...
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Old 06-02-2009, 05:04 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Y'know... I don't think I've ever met a guy that would be upset about getting used for sex.

There have been a few who were "just sex" for me, but I'm entirely sure the feeling was mutual.
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Old 06-02-2009, 09:02 PM   #23 (permalink)
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yes I have .
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:52 AM   #24 (permalink)
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I've had bootycalls.. but, they knew it was only for sex.. nothing more. Like Shaindra said.. the 'using' was mutual.
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Old 06-03-2009, 12:43 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Location: Charleston, SC
Wow this is old!!! Funny my answer has changed since I wrote this post originally....he he.

I did use a man for sex several years back now and it was TERRIBLE!!!!! Worst sex I ever had in fact. Ick don't even want to think about it.
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Old 06-05-2009, 05:40 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CinnamonGirl View Post
Y'know... I don't think I've ever met a guy that would be upset about getting used for sex.

There have been a few who were "just sex" for me, but I'm entirely sure the feeling was mutual.
Back in my slutty high school days I did that a lot, but the using was mutual. Like the song Night Moves -I can't remember who the singer was. "I used him and he used me and nobody cared -- we was gettin our share."

Later on, after my divorce, I did use one guy who unfortunately "fell in love" with me. That was not only messy, but dangerous as well. Really changed the way I look at that kind of encounter.

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Old 06-05-2009, 11:54 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Bob Seger!


And yes, you definitely need to be careful about who(m?) you have those encounters with... I'm pretty upfront about it, though, and haven't really had any problems (so far.)
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Old 06-13-2009, 06:43 PM   #28 (permalink)
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No, sure haven't. I am too loyal, take too much crap and still go 'oh, that's okay...'.

But, wow, would I love to have the guts to just get off and leave his arse there naked and not feel once ounce of guilt.
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Old 08-06-2009, 04:49 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I'm doubly bad - I have used men for sex, and then used the promise of it to get other favours. Probably made me a naughty girl, but I don't think they felt like they were being scammed.
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