Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Ladies Lounge


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-23-2003, 05:20 PM   #1 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: WI
Using toys too much?

Newbie here ladies. Something that has been happening lately with my husband and I - I just can't seem to get to an orgasm without using the vibrator. He will be going down on me and I'm RIGHT THERE - on the edge - but I just can't seem to go over.

I never tried toys prior to my husband - it was just the fingers for me. But I've learned to like the vibrator! I only use it when we're having sex - don't use it by myself. Can't remember the last time I masterbated without him being involved.

The o's I get from the vibrator are different from the ones I get from his mouth. The o's from his mouth are deeper and I can ride them longer. The ones from the vibrator are stronger but I can't ride them at all - too strong.

Any thoughts or suggestions?
Balaniki is offline  
Old 05-24-2003, 11:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Chicagoland
Re: Using toys too much?

Quote:
Originally posted by Balaniki
Newbie here ladies. Something that has been happening lately with my husband and I - I just can't seem to get to an orgasm without using the vibrator. He will be going down on me and I'm RIGHT THERE - on the edge - but I just can't seem to go over.

The o's I get from the vibrator are different from the ones I get from his mouth. The o's from his mouth are deeper and I can ride them longer. The ones from the vibrator are stronger but I can't ride them at all - too strong.

Any thoughts or suggestions?
Balaniki- welcome.

I don't know if one can use toys too much, but since you raised the question, here are my comments.

Are there two issues here? One, that you can't get off right now simply thru oral pleasuring and two, that you would like to be able to ride your orgasms longer, and you can't while using a vibrator?

What I think has happened is that you've gotten somewhat desensitized by using the vibe, thus needing the extra oomph that a vibrator provides.

If so, would turning down the vibrator to a lower speed help at all to lessen the intensity and extend the ride?

I masturbate on my own, and I know that I need more stimulation going it alone to achieve orgasm, than with my husband, who gets me much more excited than my toys do.

Also, masturbating on your own once in a while might give you a bit more control of the threshold, so to speak, of your orgasms. Sometimes when I masturbate by myself, I stop before orgasm, then later make love with my husband. Orgasms achieved with him then are always a really good, long ride.

Last edited by Double D; 05-25-2003 at 06:30 PM..
Double D is offline  
Old 05-24-2003, 12:12 PM   #3 (permalink)
Liquid Diamonds
 
Plummie's Avatar
 
Location: Lexington, KY
You could try using the vibrator to get close to climax, then let your husband finish it off with his mouth.
__________________
Kim
Plummie is offline  
Old 05-24-2003, 05:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Boone,NC
No idea,.... but good luck!
ally is offline  
Old 05-25-2003, 04:25 PM   #5 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Northeast Ohio
Using them too often will definately desensitize you...trust me, I know!
__________________
"Every tomorrow brings new opportunities, challenges we must address...A chance to affirm all our wishes and dreams, to seek beauty and true happiness."
sierra2774 is offline  
Old 05-27-2003, 08:08 AM   #6 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: central USA
Quote:
Originally posted by sierra2774
Using them too often will definately desensitize you...trust me, I know!
it is true...

when you use a vibrating toy a lot... your nerves "adjust" themselves... it's a natural body "defense" of sorts in regards to pain and/or over stimulation...

the good news is that it's not permanent... but you might want to consider simply putting the vibrator away for a while. it might be difficult to achieve orgasm without it for a bit... but your body will come back around... just give it a little time and patience...
~springrain is offline  
Old 05-27-2003, 01:17 PM   #7 (permalink)
Kick Ass Kunoichi
 
snowy's Avatar
 
Location: Oregon
Yup, the vibe will definitely desensitize you...one thing I like to do is restrict myself to once a week with the vibe so that when I do use it, I can use it at a lower speed and still get off. The other thing is, try putting the toy away for a while and just try doing it manually, perhaps with another kind of aid--erotica, naughty stories, a video, etc. Give your nerves time to recuperate. Then bring the toy back into play...but do it the other way around...try bringing yourself to orgasm with the toy and then letting your hubby finish the job. But remember, limit yourself to once a week, or buy a vibe that is less intense.
__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
snowy is offline  
Old 05-28-2003, 05:13 AM   #8 (permalink)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 
*Nikki*'s Avatar
 
Location: Charleston, SC
I would prefer getting off with my man's mouth ANYDAY over a vibrator.

They are great things for when I am alone. I would choose sex with a real person over the plastic though. Sometimes it is great to use during sex, but the human touch feels so much better to me.
*Nikki* is offline  
Old 05-28-2003, 07:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: if you want to know, you'll ask
It took me forever to come off a vibe, or so it seems. I personally always felt guilty using one as I would never really 'come'.

Then I gave up sex with the ex, cause it just really sucked and I so just fell way out of love with him. The first time I came off a vibe I was shocked. I stopped feeling guilty!

However, I started using them more though! I found the first two o's easy. The 3rd was harder to get to, but well worth it.

Personally, I'd perfer the tongue or fingers of my partner than the vibe, but a girl has to do what a girl has to do. I would think if you let your partner know you are becoming too dependent on it, for them to tease you with it/withhold it, and then talk to you about letting you have it or not, might just build you up enough that you don't need it?
__________________
Baileys
Baileys is offline  
Old 05-29-2003, 07:41 PM   #10 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: WI
*Nikki* - I couldn't agree more!!! My husband has a mouth to die for. I know - I've died many times from it!!

But the more I used the vibe the longer it took to come when my husband went down on me. I'm not as ... open is not quite the right word but it comes close ... open as he is to sex. To me it's still something that is done in the dark in the bedroom in the basic positions. I know, I know - I'm learning!!

But the problem was that it would take longer to come from his mouth and I was trying to come fast (don't know why - guess it's till some inhibition I have) so I would be trying too hard and it wouldn't work.

But I've taken SnowyOwls advice and have been NOT using the toy but doing it myself. It took quite a bit of effort the first time but since has gotten easier. My hubby gets off on watching me play with myself so it's not a hardship for him to take a back seat to my pleasure (so to speak). I'm hoping that in a bit I'll be able to have him get back in the saddle :O) and let him have fun once again!

Never thought I'd be openly talking about this kind of stuff!!
__________________
Balaniki

"Everyone should have something to believe in.
I believe you should keep your beliefs to yourself."
Balaniki is offline  
Old 06-05-2003, 09:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
Upright
 
What springrain was describing about nerves is a process called desensitization and is documented in studies involving vibrating and heating sex toys. Nerve endings increase their tollerances over time. At first it was thought that excessive masterbation would cause desensitization, but that has been limited to just the excessive use of stimulating agents. The long fix would be to gradually lower the speed of the vibrator during each session so that you can ween yourself off of the excessive stimulation. The quick fix is to just give up all stimulation( sex, oral, masterbation, etc.) in the area for a period of days or weeks. Let everything heal to the point that any touch feels like the first time. That can be fun.... if you can manage to wait that long!!
redrose2 is offline  
Old 07-03-2003, 10:12 PM   #12 (permalink)
Upright
 
I don't masturbate...there are most definately times I want to but don't because I am afraid of the fact that it will be harder to hit orgasm durring sex. hmmm?
Pandabear is offline  
Old 07-03-2003, 10:15 PM   #13 (permalink)
Upright
 
at least rarely
Pandabear is offline  
Old 07-04-2003, 11:00 PM   #14 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: 'bout 2 feet from my iMac
Panda: a wank every now and again won't be a problem, as far as I know. in fact, it may help you figure out what you like, which you can then turn around and share with your partner, meaning MORE and easier orgasms, instead of the opposite.

also, a general tip: don't give up the vibe altogether, just don't turn it on! I know i enjoy the feeling of something in me, while I rub my clit, whether it's buzzing or not!
cheerios is offline  
Old 07-05-2003, 05:30 AM   #15 (permalink)
Upright
 
I understand. My husband and I have no problem getting me off. It is easy for sure but I want him to be in control of me...That is when I lose control.
Pandabear is offline  
Old 07-06-2003, 09:21 PM   #16 (permalink)
Insane
 
I guess by reading sierra2774, & springrains and others you CAN actually use them to much! But I kind of know what your talking about when you say you are right there on the edge but you just can't go. It's happened to me before a few times, it usually happens if something distracts me and its like the feeling is still there but my mind is focused on whatever it was that distracted me. Sometimes I eventually get going again and there have also been times we've had to use backup and thats where the vibrator comes into play. He holds that on me while going down on my too! He uses the vibrator to get me sensitive again then he takes over. Its worked so far!!!!!
Apache is offline  
 

Tags
toys

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:44 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360