Calling in __________ to work. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Gilda · 06-26-2006, 04:50 PM

I saw this in the living forever thread, and it made me think of something, but it didn't fit in that thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poppinjay

Some days I'd like to call in 9.

"I'm sorry, I can't come to work today, I'm nine years old. Well, nine and a half. I don't yet have the capacity to function as an adult, or care about adult worries or politics or the war in Iraq or deadlines or ISO 9000 or whatever that is. If you have any questions, I'll be at the playground.

I might be persuaded to come tomorrow if there will be dinosaur books and juice boxes."

It reminded me of this:

"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: Hello, cant' work today, still queer."

Robin Tyler

What would your creative excuse be for not working?

Gilda

Redlemon · 06-26-2006, 05:11 PM

Not my original, but "Boss, I have rectal myopia. I just can't see my ass getting to work today".

Elphaba · 06-26-2006, 05:27 PM

"Boss, I've got the fever and I know someone with the cure."

jujueye · 06-27-2006, 11:15 AM

""Boss, guess what?

I got a fever. And the only prescription, is more cowbell.

I'll be, uhm, staying home to get, ehr, more cowebell...."

kaf kaf

shalafi · 06-29-2006, 11:52 AM

I like calling in with The Scurvy. It just amuses me.

NoSoup · 06-29-2006, 11:56 PM

Obviously a Joke, but...

Me: "Heya Boss, I'm feeling kinda ill today, I don't think I'm gonna make it in"
Boss: "I'll tell you what'll make you feel better - whenever I'm sick, I just has sex with the wife. Not long after, I feel much better"
Me: "Alright, I'll give it a try..."
***Shows up to work a few hours later***
Boss: "Ah, so it worked, eh?"
Me: "Yeah, it sure did - oh, by the way - Nice House"

777 · 07-03-2006, 09:33 AM

Hi, can't come in today. The voices in my head told me to clean my guns.

Crack · 07-07-2006, 05:08 AM

Once, while I was in the Air Force, I called in - 'don't ask, don't tell'...

they were not amused

777 · 07-10-2006, 12:20 AM

Hi, I'm feeling a little disgruntled today...

(Now if only I can find my joke files. It had a bunch of "Calling out" gags...)

Brewmaniac · 07-10-2006, 10:10 AM

Call off sick with Montezuma's Revenge. If someone asks what this is, start gurgling into the phone, shriek, and hang up. ...

slimshaydee · 07-11-2006, 02:51 AM

I won't be coming into work today because I'm banging your wife
Ohhh zing.

frogza · 07-11-2006, 06:51 AM

I've been kidnapped and my captors say they're going to keep me for the next month. During that time you are to send my paycheck to ____________. If you comply I'll be released and be able to return to work.

06-26-2006, 05:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Not my original, but "Boss, I have rectal myopia. I just can't see my ass getting to work today". __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

06-29-2006, 11:56 PM	#6 (permalink)
NoSoup Non-Rookie Location: Green Bay, WI	Obviously a Joke, but... Me: "Heya Boss, I'm feeling kinda ill today, I don't think I'm gonna make it in" Boss: "I'll tell you what'll make you feel better - whenever I'm sick, I just has sex with the wife. Not long after, I feel much better" Me: "Alright, I'll give it a try..." *Shows up to work a few hours later* Boss: "Ah, so it worked, eh?" Me: "Yeah, it sure did - oh, by the way - Nice House" __________________ I have an aura of reliability and good judgement. Just in case you were wondering...

07-03-2006, 09:33 AM	#7 (permalink)
777 drawn and redrawn Location: Some where in Southern California	Hi, can't come in today. The voices in my head told me to clean my guns. __________________ "I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip." Roger Zelazny

07-07-2006, 05:08 AM	#8 (permalink)
Crack Misanthropic Location: Ohio! yay!	Once, while I was in the Air Force, I called in - 'don't ask, don't tell'... they were not amused __________________ Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx

07-10-2006, 12:20 AM	#9 (permalink)
777 drawn and redrawn Location: Some where in Southern California	Hi, I'm feeling a little disgruntled today... (Now if only I can find my joke files. It had a bunch of "Calling out" gags...) __________________ "I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip." Roger Zelazny

06-26-2006, 05:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
Elphaba Deja Moo Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA	"Boss, I've got the fever and I know someone with the cure."

06-27-2006, 11:15 AM	#4 (permalink)
jujueye alpaca lunch for the trip Location: in my computer	""Boss, guess what? I got a fever. And the only prescription, is more cowbell. I'll be, uhm, staying home to get, ehr, more cowebell...." kaf kaf

06-29-2006, 11:52 AM	#5 (permalink)
shalafi ARRRRRRRRRR Location: Stuart, Florida	I like calling in with The Scurvy. It just amuses me.

07-10-2006, 10:10 AM	#10 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Call off sick with Montezuma's Revenge. If someone asks what this is, start gurgling into the phone, shriek, and hang up. ... __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

07-11-2006, 02:51 AM	#11 (permalink)
slimshaydee If you've read this, PM me and say so Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?	I won't be coming into work today because I'm banging your wife Ohhh zing.

07-11-2006, 06:51 AM	#12 (permalink)
frogza Registered User Location: Right Here	I've been kidnapped and my captors say they're going to keep me for the next month. During that time you are to send my paycheck to ____________. If you comply I'll be released and be able to return to work.