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Old 06-17-2003, 11:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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"People can walk a little safer now"



STONY BROOK, NEW YORK

Recent studies conclude that fewer Americans suffer accidents associated with slipping on banana peels.

"People can walk a little safer now," says Dr. Ramon Suarez, chief researcher at Acme Institute of Health. Suarez, who also worked on committee to reduce fatalities by pianos and safes falling onto pedestrians, added, "But you should still look both ways before crossing."

Suarez and several graduate students interviewed people who had slipped on banana peels, attempting to find any common tendencies. "Most people were chasing somebody," recalled team member Judith Goldstein. "We found that, most of the time, it was actually the person being chased who planted the peel--usually right around a corner, or something."

Afterwards, Goldstein and others trained their patients to step around the peel. Said one patient, who had suffered peel falls on three separate occasions, "I learned that it's much harder to step on the peel than not step on it. When you think about the chances involved, it's actually kind of, well, loony."

While banana peel injuries are down, Suarez noted that other causes of injury are on the rise. "More men are getting hit in the groin by random objects," he said. Dr. Suarez added that toupees have been blowing off of heads more often which, while not physically painful, can "have an impact on their self-esteem."

When asked what his group's next assignment would be, Suarez said, "For now, we're just going to enjoy walking in a peel-free environment. After that, we want to help children understand that they can not actually run off a cliff, look down, look up, and wave at a T.V. screen before falling down."
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Old 06-18-2003, 12:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
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What the frudge... Tell me that is from the onion or a like paper.
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"I would like about three fiddy"
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Old 06-23-2003, 07:52 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: "People can walk a little safer now"

Quote:
Originally posted by cchris
... chief researcher at Acme Institute of Health. Suarez, who also worked on committee to reduce fatalities by pianos and safes falling onto pedestrians, added, "But you should still look both ways before crossing."

...we want to help children understand that they can not actually run off a cliff, look down, look up, and wave at a T.V. screen before falling down."
Should be all the info you need to know this is bunk.

Funny, though. I have to go find the coyote's lawsuit against Acme... that's priceless. I'll put it in the humor forum when I do.

-Mikey
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Old 06-23-2003, 08:08 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Stony Brook, eh?

I grew up there... too bad nothing this fascinating happened there then
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