Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Tilted Fun Zone


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-18-2003, 09:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
Giant Hamburger's Avatar
 
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
The Summer Solstice signals the Season of the Sausage


Sausage is one of the oldest forms of processed food, having been mentioned in Homer's Odyssey:
"As when a man besides a great fire has filled a sausage with fat and blood and turns it this way and that and is very eager to get it quickly roasted. . ."
9th Century B.C.

It might not be the largest or the tastiest but the Lord of All Sausages is the mighty, mighty Hot Dog.


We have seen the shrines.


We have adored the Queen.


We have glimpsed the phallic landaus rolling beside us.


It’s time we discussed Vital Hot Dog Statistics

Americans consumed more than 20 billion hot dogs in 2002, 9 billion of which were purchased in retail stores.

Americans typically consume 7 billion hot dogs between Memorial Day and Labor Day.

Americans will eat 25.9 million hot dogs in major league ballparks -- that's enough to stretch from Dodgers' Stadium in Los Angeles to Yankee Stadium in New York City.

On the Fourth of July, Americans will enjoy 150 million hot dogs.

More hot dogs will be eaten at New York's Yankee Stadium - 1.8 million in 2003 - than in any other major league ballpark in the country.

Americans will consume more than 2 billion hot dogs during National Hot Dog Month this July.

According to The National Hot Dog And Sausage Council found at www.hot-dog.org there is a lofty and rigid code of Dos and Don'ts:

Don't...
put hot dog toppings between the hot dog and the bun. Always "dress the dog," not the bun.
Condiments should be applied in the following order: wet condiments like mustard and chili are applied first, followed by chunky condiments like relish, onions and sauerkraut, followed by shredded cheese, followed by spices, like celery salt or pepper.
Do...
serve sesame seed, poppy seed and plain buns with hot dogs. Sun-dried tomato buns or basil buns are considered gauche with franks.
Don't...
use a cloth napkin to wipe your mouth when eating a hot dog. Paper is always preferable.
Do...
eat hot dogs on buns with your hands. Utensils should not touch hot dogs on buns.
Do...
use paper plates to serve hot dogs. Every day dishes are acceptable; china is a no-no.
Don't...
take more than five bites to finish a hot dog. For foot-long wiener, seven bites are acceptable.
Don't...
leave bits of bun on your plate. Eat it all.
Fresh herbs on the same plate with hot dogs are a major "Don't..." Mustard, relish, onions, cheese and chili are acceptable.
Don't...
use ketchup on your hot dog after the age of 18.
Do...
Condiments remaining on the fingers after eating a hot dog should be licked away, not washed.
Do...
use multi-colored toothpicks to serve cocktail wieners. Cocktail forks are in poor taste.
Don't...
send a thank you note following a hot dog barbecue. It would not be in keeping with the unpretentious nature of hot dogs.
Don't...
bring wine to a hot dog barbecue. Beer, soda, lemonade and iced tea are preferable.
Don't...
ever think there is a wrong time to serve hot dogs.
Don't...
forget about the Corndogs…

Last edited by Giant Hamburger; 06-18-2003 at 09:50 PM..
Giant Hamburger is offline  
Old 06-19-2003, 01:13 AM   #2 (permalink)
Psychopathic Akimbo Action Pirate
 
Location: ...between Christ and Belial.
A+++++++++ WOULD DO BIZNESS WITH AGAIN
__________________
On the outside I'm jazz, but my soul is rock and roll.

Sleep is a waste of time. Join the Insomniac Club.
"GYOH GWAH-DAH GREH BLAAA! SROH WIH DIH FLIH RYOHH!!" - The Locust
Antagony is offline  
Old 06-19-2003, 01:14 AM   #3 (permalink)
Psycho
 
cheese's Avatar
 
Location: In your bath tub with all your other rubber toys
Dammit i thought this thread would be about summer sasuage
ohh well Hot dogs are great natrual casting are the best.. corn dogs suck ass though corn bread is delightfull and so are hot dogs but together the make a vile concoction like mixing Pickle rellish and peanutbutter its just wrong IMHO
cheese is offline  
Old 06-19-2003, 01:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
who?
 
phredgreen's Avatar
 
Location: the phoenix metro
now does anyone else find it ironic that a giant hamburger is sitting here lauding his archnemesis, the hotdog? each and every picnic leaves the reveler with one choice: hamburger or hotdog?
__________________
My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
- Thomas Paine
phredgreen is offline  
Old 06-19-2003, 06:46 AM   #5 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
Giant Hamburger's Avatar
 
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
Hail Citizen Phredgreen!

Long ago hot dogs and hamburgers released the hostility and anger found in their heated rivalry and embraced each other as brothers. I now consider them my dear, sweet friends. Let go of the old ways and learn that there will be more than just one picnic in life.

For Cheese, who just hasn't met the right corndog yet...


And may the burger gods bless Antagony's prompt and friendly service!
-GH

Last edited by Giant Hamburger; 06-19-2003 at 07:01 AM..
Giant Hamburger is offline  
Old 06-19-2003, 06:53 AM   #6 (permalink)
Essen meine kurze Hosen
 
Location: NY Burbs
Quote:
Originally posted by phredgreen
each and every picnic leaves the reveler with one choice: hamburger or hotdog?
Nope. I have one of each.
__________________
Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.
platypus is offline  
Old 06-19-2003, 08:31 PM   #7 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
Giant Hamburger's Avatar
 
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
The sausages will not let me sleep. Their whispers whisper to me.


They say, “summer is the season when the sausages' sweet siren song sizzles softly on the grill.”


I long to stuff my gut tube with gut tubes stuffed with gut tubes of other tasty creatures.


This scene is obviously a trap. It is too perfect.


Does anyone know anything about blood sausage?


I will just eat mine in the trees where it’s safe.


Don’t forget to bet on the sausage race on your way out.


I hope I will not have to use this.

Last edited by Giant Hamburger; 06-20-2003 at 11:18 AM..
Giant Hamburger is offline  
Old 06-20-2003, 10:48 AM   #8 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
Fly's Avatar
 
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
*sparks bbq and throws on a few brats*

*no not my kids*

thanx GH
__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios
Fly is offline  
Old 06-29-2003, 11:27 AM   #9 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: The Kitchen
Man, I'd love to get my hands on a hot dog gun and go on a shooting spree at a baseball game.
rockzilla is offline  
Old 06-29-2003, 04:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
Right Now
 
Location: Home
Silly GH. This is the rare sausage tree! It looks like it was a good spring.

Peetster is offline  
Old 06-29-2003, 04:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
lonely rolling star
 
sadistikdreams's Avatar
 
Location: Seattle.
mmmmm.......



BLOOOOOODDD SAUSAGE!
__________________
"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
"
-Lin Yutang

hearts, by d.a.
sadistikdreams is offline  
Old 06-29-2003, 09:54 PM   #12 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
grumpyolddude's Avatar
 
Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
HHHHmmmmm.... nothing like the sight of a beautiful girl eating a corndog! Check it out, cheese. Might like it!
__________________
"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard
grumpyolddude is offline  
Old 03-09-2004, 08:34 AM   #13 (permalink)
Super Moderator
 
bobby's Avatar
 
Location: 18,000+ posts on TFP #1,2,3,4 and 5,but I'm not counting!
wow !........................XOXOXOO
__________________
"Life goes on,within you,and...with out you !" xoxoxoo
bobby is offline  
Old 03-10-2004, 02:33 AM   #14 (permalink)
Veteran
 
Snoogans's Avatar
 
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
This is the greatest thread I have ever seen, thank you Giant Hamburger for bringing this to us.
__________________
Internet hint: If someone's asking if what they do is weird, it always is.
Snoogans is offline  
 

Tags
sausage, season, signals, solstice, summer

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:24 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360