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Congratulations! You win the Pulitzer prize for Fiction, followed by 5 surgeries for carpal tunnel syndrome.
I wish I owned a boat. |
As was your last will and testament, upon final corporeal request, here is thoust boat; may your flickering invisible spirit enjoy it eternally.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2107/...97f5a2e0_m.jpg I ask you to fulfill my current desire to destroy and rebuild my existence, thank you kindly. |
Goodbye Jetee, hello Roy Cohn!
I wish I were friends with Alicia Goranson. |
Dear John....errrr I mean Poppinjay,
It's not you, it's me...but can we still be friends? I'm having such a great time with my latest friend, Harley Kaplan. Keep this pic of us in your wallet. Luv ya. A.G. http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...iagoranson.jpg I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner. |
Poof. I did enjoy you with some sauerkraut and mustard.
I wish I could ride a horse into the sunset. |
You can, but you have a strange obsession with windmills. The windmills generally win.
I wish I had a million dollars. I'd buy you a K car. |
BareNaked Ladies sue for infringement. You are back to where you are.
I wish I had a real green coat. |
But not a real green coat, that's cruel!
I wish I had a bare, naked lady. |
After quickly dropping your Grandma to the floor, you go soak yourself in bleach.
I wish wishes COULD come true. |
All wishes are now taxed.
I wish I could have my very own spaceship! |
You do - but the ship is not "space worthy".
I wish someone wants to fix my car's slow leak for me. |
Too slow? Here, let me speed that leak up for you...
I wish I was at the Phillies World Champions parade today instead of here in work. |
You went to the Parade but had no time on the books and lost your job.
I wish I could fly. |
Bombs away, baby!...we're one parachute short but flap your arms as fast as you can.
I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger. |
Granted. Now you are a know-it-all, very uncool twerp everybody hates.
I wish the bullocks wants to stop jumping fences. |
Oops, look like my wish killed the game, let me make a new wish.
I wish for a tie in the presidential election! |
Here it is Nov.5th and the bullocks are still jumping fences and going crazy because now we have two presidents.
I wish the "news" would stop with all the useless b.s. and just wait until actual election results are in. |
My wish was granted. The "news" now also includes useful b.s.
I wish it never ended. |
right, and infinity beckons...
does it make any difference who i are if i wish upon a star? |
...Perhaps if you are
a Dinosaur (hehe, sorry, I think I inadvertently called you old) I wish I had a Milky Way™. |
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http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...280x1024-1.jpg I wish for the swish of the dish called Trish. |
After being swished by Trish the Dish, you've been in a coma for several weeks now. I hope you come out soon.
I wish Luna the kitty would stop meowing outside my bedroom door and waking me up in the wee hours of the morning. And please don't tell me she's dead 'cause at this moment I wouldn't care. :angry: |
poof, Luna no longer meows but silently sh*ts in front of your door. Good morning on entering the Hall (luna smiles as you wipe the sh*t from your feet)
I wish the end of term meetings are over and done with |
Your wish is my command....you will never see an end of term again...they will just go on forever.
I wish it was snowing heavily outside. |
It's the best ski season in years!
Don't worry though. I'm sure you'll have enough food to last until you can dig your way out of the house. It'll be tricky with only a spatula to do it, but still... I wish I had a secret admirer. |
You do, and they remain so.
I wish for continued good health. |
Granted, too bad about the wealth and happiness.
I wish I understood teenagers. |
Your wish is granted. Start studying: for the next five years you are on a deserted island with a dozen teenagers.
I wish it was possible to travel a lot faster than the speed of light. |
Granted, but the G forces squashed you totally flat.
I wish for a house trained dog (Damnit!) |
Your wish is granted. House trains your dog and now it pisses on you every chance it gets and chuckles all the way to the dog house.
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...4qL_SS500_.jpg I wish I was a highly paid athlete. |
Granted, but the steroids kill you in a years time
I wish for constant electric supply |
Shame about the constant flooding.
I wish work was more fun. |
Your new job title is Vice President of Fun ...and you'd better perform or next job cut will be you.
I wish I had a creamy vanilla ice cream with chopped roasted almonds in it. |
One of those "diet, lactose free jobs" that taste like straw.
I wish for an quiet evening just to watch the stars..... |
You are transported to the Hubble Space Telescope orbiting Earth and assigned to ride along with it forever...take a wrench so you can fix it.
I wish I was a great carpenter. |
You are, but there is no wood due to the green house effect.
I wish I could play the cello |
...but sadly it is a plastic cello since we have no more wood.
I wish I was having angel hair pasta with lemon shrimp for lunch today. |
Who you calling "shrimp"? BIFF!! POW!! CRACK!!
I wish I owned a snowblower. |
Well Tony Montana shows up to be your snowblower, along with a dozen of his heavily armed best friends.
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2.../Scareface.jpg I wish I had a nice Cuban cigar to puff on. |
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