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Old 07-07-2003, 09:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
Lost
 
Munku's Avatar
 
Location: Florida
Want to be on Jerry Springer?

Then Fill this baby out!

Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack

What does everyone call you?
(_) Booger
(_) Bubba
(_) Junior
(_) Sissy
(_) Other___________________

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Unemployed
(_) Dirty Politician
(_) Preacher
(_) Strip Dancer
(_) Hooker

Spouse's Name:_________________________
2nd Spouse's Name:______________________
3rd Spouse's Name:______________________
Lover's Name:___________________________

Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: ______
Numbers that are yours: ______

Mother's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)
Father's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Total number of vehicles you own: ___
Number of vehicles that still crank: ___
Number of vehicles in front yard: ___
Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___


Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: 196_

Do you have a gun rack?
If no, please explain:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun

Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____
Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:_____
Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____

How often do you bathe:
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Not Applicable

Colour of eyes:
Right_____ left_____

Colour of hair:
(_) Blond
(_) Black
(_) Red
(_) Brown
(_) White
(_) Clairol
Colour of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_) 1 mile
(_) 2 miles
(_) Just a whoop-and-a-holler!
(_) road?
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Old 07-07-2003, 09:51 AM   #2 (permalink)
Modern Man
 
Location: West Michigan
Nice.
__________________
Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold.
-Son House, Death Letter Blues
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Old 07-07-2003, 11:25 AM   #3 (permalink)
Transfer Agent
 
troit's Avatar
 
Location: NYC
Yeah -- if you ever get a free trip to Chicago but don't know why -- let me help you figure it out.....

Never understood why people would go on national telvision to air their dirty laundry...
__________________
I've yet to dephile myself...
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Old 07-07-2003, 11:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
The GrandDaddy of them all!
 
The_Dude's Avatar
 
Location: Austin, TX
that relagionship w/ spouse thing really cracked me up.

gave pet as a choice
__________________
"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal
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Old 07-07-2003, 07:38 PM   #5 (permalink)
.
 
bundy's Avatar
 
Location: Tokyo
thats classic.
wonder just how close that is to the real questionaire/contract??
__________________
Ohayo!!!
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