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Old 07-09-2003, 09:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
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You, the accused

So, I decided while brushing my teeth that we needed a new game on this board.

Each post will consist of a ridiculous but airtight alibi, and a ridiculous accusation. It doesn't ahve to be a crime, just goofy. Give your alibi, then accuse the next poster of something.

Can't find your pants? Accuse someone. Car broke down? the next guy to post may have poured sugar in your gas tank.


Whoever gets here next is the one that stashed my cell phone under my bed for the past two weeks. My box spring is directly on the floor, now frame, no space underneath. that's why foul play was involved, and you did it.
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Old 07-09-2003, 09:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
While I admit that your mom and I were bouncing the box spring pretty well a coupla weeks ago, I never, ever saw your cell phone, let alone touch it. Ask your ma. It was probably one of her other customers.


BTW....

I know you were into my Penthouse collection! Those pages were never stuck together before! Admit it, you scumbag!
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Old 07-09-2003, 09:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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I never thought I'd see the day that the grumpy one would get his avatar

And erhm... yes, I'll just admit it straight up, I unloaded in your Penthouse magazines.

But you peed on my backpack!
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Old 07-09-2003, 10:02 PM   #4 (permalink)
Squid hat!
 
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Location: A Few Miles Away From Halx
It wasn't me, I was the one who pooed on your backpack. Seriously, if I wanted to pee on your backpack I would have. But I think I may know who did it.


WHOA WHOA WHOA!! Who licked my stamp?!
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Old 07-09-2003, 10:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Stiltzkin
I never thought I'd see the day that the grumpy one would get his avatar
Yes, our friends in the Playground picked it for me.
I've got more shots of Walter that I intend to alternate.
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Old 07-09-2003, 10:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
 
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Location: North Bondi RSL
It wasn't bloody me, i haven't even got a tounge.


Alright, who ripped the aerial off my car?
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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?
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Old 07-09-2003, 10:25 PM   #7 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Louisville, KY
I licked your stamp. I wanted to kill myself and after watching a particular episode of Seinfeld, I thought that "death by cheap glue" seemed a good way to go. Unfortunatley, you only had one, and it only gave me a mild buzz.

But what I REALLY want to know is...who cut the hole in the watermellon that I had in the fridge????
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Old 07-09-2003, 10:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
lonely rolling star
 
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Location: Seattle.
um. maybe it was your girlfriend

why did you give me all these goddamn popups!
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"
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Old 07-10-2003, 12:34 AM   #9 (permalink)
Delicious
 
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I swear I didn't give you pop-ups, but I have been sending you tons of emails telling you how to get rid of them.

I know you called me this 'morning' at 3pm breathing heavily into the phone.
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Old 07-10-2003, 03:48 AM   #10 (permalink)
through charlatans phone
 
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Location: Northcoast
Honest to God, it wasn't me doing the breathing...I hung up before you answered.


Here's what I want to know, you moron. Why did you cut me off on my way to work yesterday?
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Old 07-10-2003, 03:54 AM   #11 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
'cause you were hogging the turn lane, dipstick...not the right thing to do in the can of worms...


ok, who's got my corvette keys?
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- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
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-----------------------------------------
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Old 07-10-2003, 04:08 AM   #12 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
 
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Location: North Bondi RSL
I didn't take 'em, but i seen the bloke that did. Big fella, had an LA Lakers top on...


Now I'm fingered, you've went and ate the last or my girlfriends chocolate ice cream...
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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?
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Old 07-10-2003, 05:13 AM   #13 (permalink)
Essen meine kurze Hosen
 
Location: NY Burbs
OK, it was me. But she was wearing it at the time.



Alright!!! Who ate the marshmallows out of my box of Lucky Charms?!?!
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Old 07-10-2003, 06:21 AM   #14 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Sydney
I had to tape over them.
They suck.

Who changed my mouse to right click?
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Old 07-10-2003, 07:02 AM   #15 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Sydney
I'm glad you owned up to that cause she's been complaining about the dust around here for ages.

I don't own any yo yo's
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Old 07-10-2003, 12:09 PM   #16 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
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Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
Hail Citizens!

I found this poor thread outside my computer, cold and starving.

Who could have done this to one so young? WHO?
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Old 07-10-2003, 12:17 PM   #17 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
not me, i was in the warehouse running an inventory on sleeper jammies...


ok, who drank the last of my harvey's?
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 07-10-2003, 12:41 PM   #18 (permalink)
Modern Man
 
Location: West Michigan
I thought it was marvey's. I spit it back out don't worry.

Who stained the word "traitor" in my front lawn just cause my real name is very French?
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Old 07-10-2003, 03:08 PM   #19 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
 
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Location: North Bondi RSL
Fucked if i know mate, but i seen GWB walking around with a bucket of hydrochloric acid...


Alright, who kept slipping all those ugly chicks into my bed at uni?
__________________
What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?
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Old 07-10-2003, 03:58 PM   #20 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
It was either Jack Daniels or Jim Beam. You've only got yourself to blame!

Why did you molest that poor girl in Colorado?
__________________
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Old 07-10-2003, 06:40 PM   #21 (permalink)
Idolator
 
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Location: Vol Country
Not me, it looked like some little vietnamese chick....

Who drank my god damn Raspberry Reaction Kool-Aid?
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Old 07-10-2003, 06:44 PM   #22 (permalink)
Modern Man
 
Location: West Michigan
Not me I've been drinking this jug that's labeled with Raspberry Reaction Kool-Aid crossed out and written over top of with crayon to say Ecto Cooler. I saw a vietnamese girl carrying a crayon wander off somewhere...

And who the fuck ate my pizza leftovers. I was saving that for dinner!
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Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold.
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Old 07-10-2003, 07:57 PM   #23 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
 
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Location: North Bondi RSL
I didn't eat them, I rolled them up and Flyman smoked 'em...


Who let the dogs out?
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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?
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Old 07-10-2003, 09:30 PM   #24 (permalink)
back from sabbatical
 
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Location: Mosptopia
Not me, I only have cats.

why'd you shoot cher?
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Old 07-11-2003, 03:45 AM   #25 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
jeez, it was only paintball...


speaking of which, where's my helmet? fly, you usin' it to hide something?
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 07-11-2003, 11:10 AM   #26 (permalink)
Modern Man
 
Location: West Michigan
I didn't touch it, I did see a helmet-shaped toilet the other day. I didn't know what to think of it. So I crapped in it.

Who put this "Kick Me" sign on my back?
__________________
Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold.
-Son House, Death Letter Blues
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Old 07-11-2003, 11:33 AM   #27 (permalink)
Modern Man
 
Location: West Michigan
Not me, unless these High Heels are yours.

Who keeps forcing me to date really psycho women?
__________________
Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold.
-Son House, Death Letter Blues
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Old 07-11-2003, 11:34 AM   #28 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: The South

It was not I, but rumor has it that Bones is running a Psycho Women Dating Hotline and your number is the only one he is giving away to the applicants.

...

Who sold my soul to the devil?

Last edited by Pheatius; 07-11-2003 at 11:37 AM..
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Old 07-11-2003, 12:19 PM   #29 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
in the words of the immortal sailor man, "bluto done it..."


meanwhile, someone left my cake out in the rain...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 07-11-2003, 08:25 PM   #30 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
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Location: CT
I wouldn't do it because I know it took so long to bake.

now if i could just find out who signed me up for a subscription to "Soap Opera Digest"
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Old 07-11-2003, 08:32 PM   #31 (permalink)
Sir, I have a plan...
 
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Location: 38S NC20943324
I signed you up for the NAMBLA newsletter, but not SOD...

I wanna know who chromed my head like Destro.
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Old 07-11-2003, 08:34 PM   #32 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
(oops I type too slow!)
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Old 07-11-2003, 08:35 PM   #33 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: lost
It wasn't me, I got you the Backstreet Boys complete album collection.


Who sabotaged my mountain bike tire?
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I'd rather be climbing...

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Old 07-11-2003, 09:15 PM   #34 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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*raises hand* So what? Got beef?

All right, chumps, who stole my sanity? I know it was one of you ::squints eyes and leers around::
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Old 07-12-2003, 02:40 AM   #35 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Tweren't me Mista Bones. I only took the 'Delete' button.


Who replaced my pepperoni with poker chips?
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Old 07-12-2003, 03:20 AM   #36 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
not me, but the shadow knows...


anybody seen my weber grill?
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 07-12-2003, 09:45 AM   #37 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: London, CorBlimeyLand
I swear I didn't take it to fulfil my perverted sexual desires, I swear I didn't. It..it was bundy. No, it was fremen. No...I dunno. But it weren't me!


btw, who the fuck left their soiled white underpants on my doorstep? Was it you? Or was it you? Or YOU?!
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?
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Old 07-12-2003, 01:30 PM   #38 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Ok ok...I'll admit...they are my underpants, but I'm not the one who soiled them. Honest.

Who the hell shaved my ass while I was sleeping?
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Old 07-12-2003, 01:35 PM   #39 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
frederick remington did it, not i...but i watched and it was 'ckin' hilarious...


what happened to the legion ball game this afternoon? who changed the schedule?
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 02:43 AM   #40 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
The girl down the block, dude.

Who stole Speilbergs movie prowess?
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