You, the accused - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

MSD · 07-09-2003, 09:33 PM

So, I decided while brushing my teeth that we needed a new game on this board.

Each post will consist of a ridiculous but airtight alibi, and a ridiculous accusation. It doesn't ahve to be a crime, just goofy. Give your alibi, then accuse the next poster of something.

Can't find your pants? Accuse someone. Car broke down? the next guy to post may have poured sugar in your gas tank.

Whoever gets here next is the one that stashed my cell phone under my bed for the past two weeks. My box spring is directly on the floor, now frame, no space underneath. that's why foul play was involved, and you did it.

grumpyolddude · 07-09-2003, 09:41 PM

While I admit that your mom and I were bouncing the box spring pretty well a coupla weeks ago, I never, ever saw your cell phone, let alone touch it. Ask your ma. It was probably one of her other customers.

BTW....

I know you were into my Penthouse collection! Those pages were never stuck together before! Admit it, you scumbag!

Stiltzkin · 07-09-2003, 09:50 PM

I never thought I'd see the day that the grumpy one would get his avatar

And erhm... yes, I'll just admit it straight up, I unloaded in your Penthouse magazines.

But you peed on my backpack!

meanSpleen · 07-09-2003, 10:02 PM

It wasn't me, I was the one who pooed on your backpack. Seriously, if I wanted to pee on your backpack I would have. But I think I may know who did it.

WHOA WHOA WHOA!! Who licked my stamp?!

grumpyolddude · 07-09-2003, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Stiltzkin
I never thought I'd see the day that the grumpy one would get his avatar

Yes, our friends in the Playground picked it for me.

I've got more shots of Walter that I intend to alternate.

Meridae'n · 07-09-2003, 10:25 PM

It wasn't bloody me, i haven't even got a tounge.

Alright, who ripped the aerial off my car?

WetSpot · 07-09-2003, 10:25 PM

I licked your stamp. I wanted to kill myself and after watching a particular episode of Seinfeld, I thought that "death by cheap glue" seemed a good way to go. Unfortunatley, you only had one, and it only gave me a mild buzz.

But what I REALLY want to know is...who cut the hole in the watermellon that I had in the fridge????

sadistikdreams · 07-09-2003, 10:29 PM

um. maybe it was your girlfriend

why did you give me all these goddamn popups!

Reese · 07-10-2003, 12:34 AM

I swear I didn't give you pop-ups, but I have been sending you tons of emails telling you how to get rid of them.

I know you called me this 'morning' at 3pm breathing heavily into the phone.

paddyjoe · 07-10-2003, 03:48 AM

Honest to God, it wasn't me doing the breathing...I hung up before you answered.

Here's what I want to know, you moron. Why did you cut me off on my way to work yesterday?

uncle phil · 07-10-2003, 03:54 AM

'cause you were hogging the turn lane, dipstick...not the right thing to do in the can of worms...

ok, who's got my corvette keys?

Meridae'n · 07-10-2003, 04:08 AM

I didn't take 'em, but i seen the bloke that did. Big fella, had an LA Lakers top on...

Now I'm fingered, you've went and ate the last or my girlfriends chocolate ice cream...

platypus · 07-10-2003, 05:13 AM

OK, it was me. But she was wearing it at the time.

Alright!!! Who ate the marshmallows out of my box of Lucky Charms?!?!

cchris · 07-10-2003, 06:21 AM

I had to tape over them.
They suck.

Who changed my mouse to right click?

cchris · 07-10-2003, 07:02 AM

I'm glad you owned up to that cause she's been complaining about the dust around here for ages.

I don't own any yo yo's

Giant Hamburger · 07-10-2003, 12:09 PM

Hail Citizens!

I found this poor thread outside my computer, cold and starving.

Who could have done this to one so young? WHO?

uncle phil · 07-10-2003, 12:17 PM

not me, i was in the warehouse running an inventory on sleeper jammies...

ok, who drank the last of my harvey's?

Conclamo Ludus · 07-10-2003, 12:41 PM

I thought it was marvey's. I spit it back out don't worry.

Who stained the word "traitor" in my front lawn just cause my real name is very French?

Meridae'n · 07-10-2003, 03:08 PM

Fucked if i know mate, but i seen GWB walking around with a bucket of hydrochloric acid...

Alright, who kept slipping all those ugly chicks into my bed at uni?

grumpyolddude · 07-10-2003, 03:58 PM

It was either Jack Daniels or Jim Beam. You've only got yourself to blame!

Why did you molest that poor girl in Colorado?

crow_daw · 07-10-2003, 06:40 PM

Not me, it looked like some little vietnamese chick....

Who drank my god damn Raspberry Reaction Kool-Aid?

Conclamo Ludus · 07-10-2003, 06:44 PM

Not me I've been drinking this jug that's labeled with Raspberry Reaction Kool-Aid crossed out and written over top of with crayon to say Ecto Cooler. I saw a vietnamese girl carrying a crayon wander off somewhere...

And who the fuck ate my pizza leftovers. I was saving that for dinner!

Meridae'n · 07-10-2003, 07:57 PM

I didn't eat them, I rolled them up and Flyman smoked 'em...

Who let the dogs out?

hawkeye · 07-10-2003, 09:30 PM

Not me, I only have cats.

why'd you shoot cher?

uncle phil · 07-11-2003, 03:45 AM

jeez, it was only paintball...

speaking of which, where's my helmet? fly, you usin' it to hide something?

Conclamo Ludus · 07-11-2003, 11:10 AM

I didn't touch it, I did see a helmet-shaped toilet the other day. I didn't know what to think of it. So I crapped in it.

Who put this "Kick Me" sign on my back?

Conclamo Ludus · 07-11-2003, 11:33 AM

Not me, unless these High Heels are yours.

Who keeps forcing me to date really psycho women?

Pheatius · 07-11-2003, 11:34 AM

It was not I, but rumor has it that Bones is running a Psycho Women Dating Hotline and your number is the only one he is giving away to the applicants.

...

Who sold my soul to the devil?

uncle phil · 07-11-2003, 12:19 PM

in the words of the immortal sailor man, "bluto done it..."

meanwhile, someone left my cake out in the rain...

MSD · 07-11-2003, 08:25 PM

I wouldn't do it because I know it took so long to bake.

now if i could just find out who signed me up for a subscription to "Soap Opera Digest"

debaser · 07-11-2003, 08:32 PM

I signed you up for the NAMBLA newsletter, but not SOD...

I wanna know who chromed my head like Destro.

grumpyolddude · 07-11-2003, 08:34 PM

(oops I type too slow!)

phoenix1002 · 07-11-2003, 08:35 PM

It wasn't me, I got you the Backstreet Boys complete album collection.

Who sabotaged my mountain bike tire?

Stiltzkin · 07-11-2003, 09:15 PM

*raises hand* So what? Got beef?

All right, chumps, who stole my sanity? I know it was one of you ::squints eyes and leers around::

Fremen · 07-12-2003, 02:40 AM

Tweren't me Mista Bones. I only took the 'Delete' button.

Who replaced my pepperoni with poker chips?

uncle phil · 07-12-2003, 03:20 AM

not me, but the shadow knows...

anybody seen my weber grill?

Pyrate · 07-12-2003, 09:45 AM

I swear I didn't take it to fulfil my perverted sexual desires, I swear I didn't. It..it was bundy. No, it was fremen. No...I dunno. But it weren't me!

btw, who the fuck left their soiled white underpants on my doorstep? Was it you? Or was it you? Or YOU?!

fhqwhgads · 07-12-2003, 01:30 PM

Ok ok...I'll admit...they are my underpants, but I'm not the one who soiled them. Honest.

Who the hell shaved my ass while I was sleeping?

uncle phil · 07-12-2003, 01:35 PM

frederick remington did it, not i...but i watched and it was 'ckin' hilarious...

what happened to the legion ball game this afternoon? who changed the schedule?

Fremen · 07-13-2003, 02:43 AM

The girl down the block, dude.

Who stole Speilbergs movie prowess?

07-09-2003, 09:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	You, the accused So, I decided while brushing my teeth that we needed a new game on this board. Each post will consist of a ridiculous but airtight alibi, and a ridiculous accusation. It doesn't ahve to be a crime, just goofy. Give your alibi, then accuse the next poster of something. Can't find your pants? Accuse someone. Car broke down? the next guy to post may have poured sugar in your gas tank. Whoever gets here next is the one that stashed my cell phone under my bed for the past two weeks. My box spring is directly on the floor, now frame, no space underneath. that's why foul play was involved, and you did it.

07-09-2003, 09:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	While I admit that your mom and I were bouncing the box spring pretty well a coupla weeks ago, I never, ever saw your cell phone, let alone touch it. Ask your ma. It was probably one of her other customers. BTW.... I know you were into my Penthouse collection! Those pages were never stuck together before! Admit it, you scumbag! __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-09-2003, 09:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
Stiltzkin Junkie	I never thought I'd see the day that the grumpy one would get his avatar And erhm... yes, I'll just admit it straight up, I unloaded in your Penthouse magazines. But you peed on my backpack! __________________ The most important thing in this world is love.

07-09-2003, 10:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
meanSpleen Squid hat! Location: A Few Miles Away From Halx	It wasn't me, I was the one who pooed on your backpack. Seriously, if I wanted to pee on your backpack I would have. But I think I may know who did it. WHOA WHOA WHOA!! Who licked my stamp?! __________________ Like TFP? Donate To Keep It Alive!!

07-09-2003, 10:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	It wasn't bloody me, i haven't even got a tounge. Alright, who ripped the aerial off my car? __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

07-09-2003, 10:25 PM	#7 (permalink)
WetSpot Tilted Location: Louisville, KY	I licked your stamp. I wanted to kill myself and after watching a particular episode of Seinfeld, I thought that "death by cheap glue" seemed a good way to go. Unfortunatley, you only had one, and it only gave me a mild buzz. But what I REALLY want to know is...who cut the hole in the watermellon that I had in the fridge????

07-09-2003, 10:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
sadistikdreams lonely rolling star Location: Seattle.	um. maybe it was your girlfriend why did you give me all these goddamn popups! __________________ "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a.

07-10-2003, 12:34 AM	#9 (permalink)
Reese Delicious	I swear I didn't give you pop-ups, but I have been sending you tons of emails telling you how to get rid of them. I know you called me this 'morning' at 3pm breathing heavily into the phone. __________________ “It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

07-10-2003, 03:48 AM	#10 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	Honest to God, it wasn't me doing the breathing...I hung up before you answered. Here's what I want to know, you moron. Why did you cut me off on my way to work yesterday?

07-10-2003, 03:54 AM	#11 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	'cause you were hogging the turn lane, dipstick...not the right thing to do in the can of worms... ok, who's got my corvette keys? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-10-2003, 04:08 AM	#12 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	I didn't take 'em, but i seen the bloke that did. Big fella, had an LA Lakers top on... Now I'm fingered, you've went and ate the last or my girlfriends chocolate ice cream... __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

07-10-2003, 05:13 AM	#13 (permalink)
platypus Essen meine kurze Hosen Location: NY Burbs	OK, it was me. But she was wearing it at the time. Alright!!! Who ate the marshmallows out of my box of Lucky Charms?!?! __________________ Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

07-10-2003, 06:21 AM	#14 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	I had to tape over them. They suck. Who changed my mouse to right click? __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

07-10-2003, 07:02 AM	#15 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	I'm glad you owned up to that cause she's been complaining about the dust around here for ages. I don't own any yo yo's __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

07-10-2003, 12:09 PM	#16 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Hail Citizens! I found this poor thread outside my computer, cold and starving. Who could have done this to one so young? WHO?

07-10-2003, 12:17 PM	#17 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	not me, i was in the warehouse running an inventory on sleeper jammies... ok, who drank the last of my harvey's? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-10-2003, 12:41 PM	#18 (permalink)
Conclamo Ludus Modern Man Location: West Michigan	I thought it was marvey's. I spit it back out don't worry. Who stained the word "traitor" in my front lawn just cause my real name is very French? __________________ Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold. -Son House, Death Letter Blues

07-10-2003, 03:08 PM	#19 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	Fucked if i know mate, but i seen GWB walking around with a bucket of hydrochloric acid... Alright, who kept slipping all those ugly chicks into my bed at uni? __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

07-10-2003, 03:58 PM	#20 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	It was either Jack Daniels or Jim Beam. You've only got yourself to blame! Why did you molest that poor girl in Colorado? __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-10-2003, 06:40 PM	#21 (permalink)
crow_daw Idolator Location: Vol Country	Not me, it looked like some little vietnamese chick.... Who drank my god damn Raspberry Reaction Kool-Aid? __________________ "We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

07-10-2003, 06:44 PM	#22 (permalink)
Conclamo Ludus Modern Man Location: West Michigan	Not me I've been drinking this jug that's labeled with Raspberry Reaction Kool-Aid crossed out and written over top of with crayon to say Ecto Cooler. I saw a vietnamese girl carrying a crayon wander off somewhere... And who the fuck ate my pizza leftovers. I was saving that for dinner! __________________ Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold. -Son House, Death Letter Blues

07-10-2003, 07:57 PM	#23 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	I didn't eat them, I rolled them up and Flyman smoked 'em... Who let the dogs out? __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

07-10-2003, 09:30 PM	#24 (permalink)
hawkeye back from sabbatical Location: Mosptopia	Not me, I only have cats. why'd you shoot cher? __________________ You're not fat, You're just a giant ball of love, covered in anger.

07-11-2003, 03:45 AM	#25 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	jeez, it was only paintball... speaking of which, where's my helmet? fly, you usin' it to hide something? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-11-2003, 11:10 AM	#26 (permalink)
Conclamo Ludus Modern Man Location: West Michigan	I didn't touch it, I did see a helmet-shaped toilet the other day. I didn't know what to think of it. So I crapped in it. Who put this "Kick Me" sign on my back? __________________ Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold. -Son House, Death Letter Blues

07-11-2003, 11:33 AM	#27 (permalink)
Conclamo Ludus Modern Man Location: West Michigan	Not me, unless these High Heels are yours. Who keeps forcing me to date really psycho women? __________________ Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold. -Son House, Death Letter Blues

07-11-2003, 11:34 AM	#28 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	It was not I, but rumor has it that Bones is running a Psycho Women Dating Hotline and your number is the only one he is giving away to the applicants. ... Who sold my soul to the devil? Last edited by Pheatius; 07-11-2003 at 11:37 AM..

07-11-2003, 12:19 PM	#29 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	in the words of the immortal sailor man, "bluto done it..." meanwhile, someone left my cake out in the rain... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-11-2003, 08:25 PM	#30 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	I wouldn't do it because I know it took so long to bake. now if i could just find out who signed me up for a subscription to "Soap Opera Digest"

07-11-2003, 08:32 PM	#31 (permalink)
debaser Sir, I have a plan... Location: 38S NC20943324	I signed you up for the NAMBLA newsletter, but not SOD... I wanna know who chromed my head like Destro. __________________ Fortunato became immured to the sound of the trowel after a while.

07-11-2003, 08:34 PM	#32 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	(oops I type too slow!) __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-11-2003, 08:35 PM	#33 (permalink)
phoenix1002 Psycho Location: lost	It wasn't me, I got you the Backstreet Boys complete album collection. Who sabotaged my mountain bike tire? __________________ I'd rather be climbing... I approach college much like a recovering alcoholic--one day at a time...

07-11-2003, 09:15 PM	#34 (permalink)
Stiltzkin Junkie	raises hand So what? Got beef? All right, chumps, who stole my sanity? I know it was one of you ::squints eyes and leers around:: __________________ The most important thing in this world is love.

07-12-2003, 02:40 AM	#35 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Tweren't me Mista Bones. I only took the 'Delete' button. Who replaced my pepperoni with poker chips? __________________ Google

07-12-2003, 03:20 AM	#36 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	not me, but the shadow knows... anybody seen my weber grill? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.