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Old 07-20-2003, 10:38 AM   #1 (permalink)
not your typical god-fearing junkie
 
Location: State of Confusion
Ye Olde Stumble Inn Too

Quote:
You said I'm gonna buy this place and burn it down
I'm gonna put it six feet underground
I'm gonna buy this place and watch it fall
Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls
Oh I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire
Stand here until I fill all your hearts desire
Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn
And do back the things it did to you in return
I burned down the old one for the insurance money. Its ashes are somewhere in the depths of this board.

Thus, I open the new one with the money, and have enough left over to staff it with the finest in bartenders, bouncers, dancing girls, and alcoholic beverages.

GRAND RE-OPENING! Step right up and order. Applications for help are posted, so infer now! If you were a bouncer, bartender or etc. of the old one, feel free to step right back into place.


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Old 07-20-2003, 10:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
not your typical god-fearing junkie
 
Location: State of Confusion
Quote:
Originally posted by Bones
i still get to run the underground gambling ring in the basement right?

ps is this phase 2?
Short answer: Yes and Yes.

Long answer: Yes and No, because phase 2 doesn't exist.

Take your pick. And have a drink man, your too concerned with "Phase 2" Whatever that is

*pours Bones some Gin n Juice*
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Old 07-20-2003, 12:04 PM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Midwest
Need a money man in the back room? I'm an accountant.

Gotta make sure you get all the inflows, and the outflows go where they need to.

I'll work for beernuts and the right to occupy the stool closest to the bar access.

Application accepted?
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Old 07-20-2003, 12:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
I'll be the surly old curmudgeon at the far end of the bar. Keep my shooper filled and pour me a shot of Southern Comfort every now and again. Run a tab... I'll make good when I get my SSI check.

Bones, smells good... homegrown?
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Old 07-20-2003, 12:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
May I be the piano man with the tip jar on the bar?
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Old 07-20-2003, 02:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
not your typical god-fearing junkie
 
Location: State of Confusion
gov135, your hired. Beernuts come in 20lb bags, you'll get 4 bags a week.

Fremen, you're the official piano man. Tip jar on da bar.

Grumpy, you're my #1 patron of SoCo.....I'll keep a glass in front of you all day long.

So far, 4 Employees to 1 customer
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Old 07-20-2003, 02:42 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Yo, Fremen. Play it. You know the one. I can take it if she can.
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Old 07-20-2003, 04:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
 
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Location: North Bondi RSL
Quote:
Originally posted by gov135
Need a money man in the back room? I'm an accountant.

Gotta make sure you get all the inflows, and the outflows go where they need to.

I'll work for beernuts and the right to occupy the stool closest to the bar access.

Application accepted?
You have some competition...
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Old 07-20-2003, 04:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Bones
grumpy....keep your shooker filled?

that sounds dirty
That might work, too! But the word was "shooper." Slang for a large, brandy-snifter type beer mug. Least-wise it is 'round here. Holds LOTS of your beverage of choice .

We need to check "shooker" in that urban dictionary. Maybe we have another "roilet" on our hands (eeewwww).
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Old 07-20-2003, 04:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
not your typical god-fearing junkie
 
Location: State of Confusion
Quote:
Originally posted by Meridae'n
You have some competition...
We don't need two accountants here. I guess you could work downstairs with Bones and the casino. Ask him if he needs a bookie to keep track of the cash flow.

Otherwise, you might just end up being the Custodial Engineer.
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Old 07-20-2003, 04:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
 
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Location: North Bondi RSL
How about sleazy bar-fly, you can never have too many of those...
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Old 07-20-2003, 06:33 PM   #12 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Midwest
Quote:
Originally posted by YzermanS19
gov135, your hired. Beernuts come in 20lb bags, you'll get 4 bags a week.
Thank you.

I will begin my work by laundering the money Bones is bringing upstairs. It's no good if you can't spend it!

Meridae'n could always help keep one set of the books (you need two sets after all - one "legit" set and one set that shows where the money actually goes.
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Old 07-20-2003, 09:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
not your typical god-fearing junkie
 
Location: State of Confusion
Certainly gov, Meridae'n is your assistant.

DRINKS AROUND!
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Old 07-20-2003, 09:10 PM   #14 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
 
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Location: North Bondi RSL
Assistant?!? Bugger that, you can do it gov, I'll give Bones a hand and run the security cameras...

Damn, that rum's good. Only a quality joint would ship in Bundaberg Rum... I'm gunna like working here.
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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?
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Old 07-21-2003, 03:00 AM   #15 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Glad to be on board, Stevie.

*To Do List*
1. Learn the piano. (essential!)
2. Figure out g-pods' song.
3. In the meantime, bring in player piano and hopes no one notices.
4. If all else fails, become "Custodial Engineer" and rule the roilets with an iron fist!
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Old 07-21-2003, 03:16 AM   #16 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
so do i still get to hand out B.C. doobies to all your fine patrons?

or should we just keep a constant joint goin' at all times?
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Old 07-21-2003, 06:23 AM   #17 (permalink)
not your typical god-fearing junkie
 
Location: State of Confusion
Constant Joint to those patrons who want one.

Jack N' Coke night is tomorrow night, hope everyone likes Jack N Cokes
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Old 07-22-2003, 06:41 PM   #18 (permalink)
Warrior Smith
 
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Location: missouri
I'll be the man in the black leather trenchcoat in the darkest corner of the bar- smoking a cuban cigar and drinking makers mark
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Old 07-22-2003, 07:04 PM   #19 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: The Kitchen
Do you need a cook who still gets to drink? If so, I'll take take that... and one of those big dump-it-on-the-football-coach sized gatorade jugs full of Jack & Coke.
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Old 07-22-2003, 09:00 PM   #20 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Fremen
Glad to be on board, Stevie.

*To Do List*
1. Learn the piano. (essential!)
2. Figure out g-pods' song.
3. In the meantime, bring in player piano and hopes no one notices.
4. If all else fails, become "Custodial Engineer" and rule the roilets with an iron fist!
The song goes:
Da-dum ta-da-da-dum
Da-dum ta-da-da-dum
Da-dum ta-da-da-daaaaaa

ANY pantomime pianist can play it!
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Old 07-23-2003, 12:39 AM   #21 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: the bathroom
where are the dancing girls?
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Old 07-23-2003, 04:47 PM   #22 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
what the hell is this doin' on page two....


*kicks door open to the stumble inn*

*proceeds to get the party started*

...............BEER...............(please)
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Old 07-24-2003, 04:11 AM   #23 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Re: Ye Olde Stumble Inn Too

Quote:
Originally posted by YzermanS19
I burned down the old one for the insurance money. Its ashes are somewhere in the depths of this board.

Thus, I open the new one with the money, and have enough left over to staff it with the finest in bartenders, bouncers, dancing girls, and alcoholic beverages.

GRAND RE-OPENING! Step right up and order. Applications for help are posted, so infer now! If you were a bouncer, bartender or etc. of the old one, feel free to step right back into place.


My first song for the new Inn.

"Burning Down The House"

"Watch out you might get what you're after
Cool babies strange but not a stranger
I'm an ordinary guy
Burning down the house
Hold tight wait till the party's over
Hold tight We're in for nasty weather
There has got to be a way
Burning down the house

Here's your ticket pack your bag: time for jumpin' overboard
The transportation is here
Close enough but not too far, maybe you know where you are
Fightin' fire with fire

All wet hey you might need a raincoat
Shape down Dreams walking in broad daylight
Three hundred sixty five degrees
Burning down the house

It was once upon a place sometimes I listen to myself
Gonna come in first place
People on their way to work baby what did you except
Gonna burst into flame

My house S'out of the ordinary
That's right Don't want to hurt nobody
Some things sure can sweep me off my feet
Burning down the house

No visible means of support and you have not seen nothing yet
Everything's stuck together
I don't know what you expect staring into your TV set
Fighting fire with fire.."


Hmmm, maybe not the most perfect choice...
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Old 07-24-2003, 06:15 AM   #24 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
Okay bitches. I'm back. Let me just slide behind the bar here....can I get anyone anything?
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Old 07-24-2003, 04:31 PM   #25 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Vodka Gimlet, please.

Frem... that is not the song I asked for. Betcha Uncle phil could guess from my clues so far. No Vichy collaborator he!
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Old 07-24-2003, 04:55 PM   #26 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: upstate
I really do appreciate the fact you're sittin' here
Your voice sounds so wonderful
But yer face don't look too clear
So bar maid bring a pitcher, another round o' brew
Honey, why don't we get drunk and screw

Why don't we get drunk and screw
I just bought a water bed, it's filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen
Honey I don't think that's true
So, why don't we get drunk and screw

SPOKEN: "Pick it Coral Reefers, here we go..."

(Instrumental Break)

Why don't we get drunk and screw
I just bought a waterbed it's filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen
Honey I don't think that's true
So why don't we get drunk and screw
Yeah, now baby I say, Lord!
Why don't we get drunk and screw
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- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
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-----------------------------------------
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Old 07-24-2003, 05:01 PM   #27 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Nice sentiment, phil. leaves me all teary eyed. thanks.

(but still not the song I requested. If Fremen can play it, it could be the beginning of a beautiful freindship. Now I'm just GIVING it away.)
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Old 07-24-2003, 06:58 PM   #28 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: upstate
i'll come up with it eventually...have to sleep on it...probably kick myself when it comes to me...
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 07-24-2003, 11:59 PM   #29 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
As Time Goes By...


Lyrics and Music by Herman Hupfeld;
© 1931 Warner Bros. Music Corp., ASCAP


"This day and age we're living in
Gives cause for apprehension
With speed and new invention
And things like fourth dimension
Yet we get a trifle weary
With Mr. Einstein's theory
So we must get down to earth at times
Relax relieve the tension
And no matter what the progress
Or what may yet be proved
The simple facts of life are such
They cannot be removed
You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by
And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you"
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by
Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny
Well, it's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by
Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by."


Is this it, g-pod? After those broad hints, it has to be.
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Old 07-25-2003, 03:04 AM   #30 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: upstate
grump, is this it?

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/titties.html
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 07-25-2003, 06:24 AM   #31 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
Gimlet for the grumpyolddude.

I have to go do something now.
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Old 07-27-2003, 07:10 AM   #32 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Thanks, barkeep! Fremen got it. Yeah, the hints were pretty broad: "play it...." the Vichy reference and the "beautiful freindship". I was getting close to whipping out, "Of all the gin joints..."

Phil, as always, you contributions are excellent and fit the mood of this bistro prefectly. How about a rendition of "Red Necks, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer?" How many of these youngsters have even heard it?
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Old 07-27-2003, 09:14 AM   #33 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: upstate
REDNECKS, WHITE SOCKS AND BLUE RIBBON BEER
Johnny Russell


VERSE 1:
There's no place that I'd rather be than right here
With my red necks, white socks and blue ribbon beer
The bar-maid is mad 'cause some guy made a pass
The juke box is playin' there stands the glass
And the cig-a-rette smoke kind-a hangs in the air
Red-necks, white socks and blue rib-bon beer

VERSE 2:
A cow-boy is cus-sin' the pin-ball ma-chine
A drunk at the bar is get-tin' nois-y and mean
And, some guy on the phone says i'll be home soon dear
Red-necks white socks and blue rib-bon beer

CHORUS:
No we don't fit in with that white col-lar crowd
We're a lit-tle too row-dy and a little too loud
There's no place that I'd rath-er be than right here
With my red-necks white socks and blue rib-bon beer

VERSE 3:
The sem-is are pass-ing on the high-way out-side
The four thir-ty crowd is a-bout to ar-rive
The sun's go-in' down and we'll all soon be here
Red-necks, white socks and blue rib-bon beer

REPEAT CHORUS:

TAG:
There's no place that I'd rather be than right here
With my red-necks, white socks and blue rib-bon beer
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 07-27-2003, 11:25 AM   #34 (permalink)
not your typical god-fearing junkie
 
Location: State of Confusion
Good songs, ye bards of the Stumble Inn.

Sorry I havent been around much. Its harder the 2nd time around trying to put insurance on a bar that I burned down myself. I'm sure you all understand.
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burns half as long

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Old 07-27-2003, 01:03 PM   #35 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Thansh Phil. That wash wunnerfil (hic).
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:38 PM   #36 (permalink)
Warrior Smith
 
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Location: missouri
this is it- # 50- I proceed to buy the house a round of drinks
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