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Old 07-22-2003, 05:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Autonomous Zone
FSCK HITLER!!!

Ok, so we all know that Hitler was not a very nice man. Personally, I don't like him. I think he deserves to be punished.
Unfortuanatly, he's dead. But that doesn't mean we can't pretend.

Rules of the game:
Hitler is retrained on a table in a soundproof room. Each person can do one thing to him at a time, but nobody can kill him. When he dies, the game is over. This game is continuoes, if someone chops off his legs, then you can't kneecap him. All instruments are at your fingertips.

I'll start:

I bitch-slap him.

Last edited by Pennington; 07-23-2003 at 01:27 AM..
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Old 07-22-2003, 05:30 PM   #2 (permalink)
lonely rolling star
 
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Location: Seattle.
I take a nineteenth centry experimental medical drill, and drill into his ribcage.

(such a fun game. let's me express my sadistikness)
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Old 07-22-2003, 05:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Nutcracker to the left testicle.
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Old 07-22-2003, 05:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
Right Now
 
Location: Home
Pennington, this isn't fark. You can say fuck.

I would let him die peacefully after that. The guy was wicked bad, bit he'll get his. No help from me required.
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Old 07-22-2003, 06:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Autonomous Zone
I know I can say fuck, I just prefer fsck. Whenever my friends and I are around profs. or parents or just someplace where cursing isn't allowed, we say fuskin' instead and now we say it even when alone. We're geeks

Anyway:

I take a pair of needle nose pliers and rip off Hitler's finger nails and spray lime juice on the studs.
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Old 07-22-2003, 06:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: The Kitchen
I'll give him a golden shower.
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Old 07-22-2003, 06:36 PM   #7 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Autonomous Zone
At this point, I would take a red hot spoon and scoop out his left eyeball out of its socket, but leave the ocular nerve attached, kinda like a web cam. Of coarse, I would have to make the obligatory "keep an eye out for me" joke. In German, of course.
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Old 07-22-2003, 06:52 PM   #8 (permalink)
lonely rolling star
 
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Location: Seattle.
this is true, Bones.

if only he wasnt evil.
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Old 07-22-2003, 10:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
Idolator
 
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Location: Vol Country
I'd shove a Rattlesnake into his asshole.

So he'd have a venomous rattlesnake in his asshole

Which is fun

I mean funny, cause he was a mass murdering fuckhead.
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Old 07-22-2003, 10:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
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Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
so lets see, you all want to torture the guy because he was evil? and you dont see any irony in that?

my personal opinion is that the worst thing you can do to a meglo-maniacal psychopath like Hitler was would be to ignore him, make him feel that he is beneath your notice.
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Old 07-22-2003, 10:56 PM   #11 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
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Location: CA
well he's only got one testicle, so I say we cut it off, fry it up, and feed it to him.
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Old 07-22-2003, 11:06 PM   #12 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Montreal
I'd like to gently hammer a dreidel into his left ear canal.
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Old 07-23-2003, 12:03 AM   #13 (permalink)
Fluxing wildly...
 
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Location: Auckland, New Zealand
I am going to force him to listen to a recording of fingernails on the chalkboard over and over until his remaining eyeball explodes.
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Old 07-23-2003, 12:05 AM   #14 (permalink)
Upright
 
Quote:
Originally posted by grumpyolddude
Nutcracker to the left testicle.
i heard he only had one testicle in the first place

and someone already mentioned that, lol



id let him live, with no harm done. why fight evil with evil? evil begets evil.
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Old 07-23-2003, 12:10 AM   #15 (permalink)
Hiding Out
 
Rub my hand on my sweaty balls then poke im in the eye so he gets pink eye.
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Old 07-23-2003, 12:59 AM   #16 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: the bathroom
i'll lock Katie Couric in the room with him.
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Old 07-23-2003, 01:23 AM   #17 (permalink)
Eccentric insomniac
 
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Location: North Carolina
hmm, I would use one of Saddams old tricks.

Lock him in a room naked with a network of pipes w/ nozzles over head and slowly drip nitric acid through them.

He will have to watch overhead very carefully to avoid getting dripped on, and eventually he will be unable to continue avoiding the drops and will collapse in agony to suffer a horrible....not quite death as he is 'rescued' at the last minute to prolongue his suffering.
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Old 07-23-2003, 01:46 AM   #18 (permalink)
Junkie
 
I'd put a spiked vibrator up his ass so I could say, "Hey that guys vibrator is destroying his instestines." After I have a tea party in front of the suffering with all my mad scientist buddies I'd then remove it and fish out the rattle snake which is most likely now dead and pushed up into his small intestive from the vibrator of instestinal doom.
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Old 07-23-2003, 04:02 AM   #19 (permalink)
**PORNHOUND**
 
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Location: California
Untie's Hitler and gives him a couple Advil, takes him to the bar and gets him drunk on Schnapps "Now, all that Treasure is buried where?"
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Old 07-23-2003, 04:47 AM   #20 (permalink)
Essen meine kurze Hosen
 
Location: NY Burbs
Only one action is fitting...

<b>Circumcise him!!!</b>
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Old 07-23-2003, 04:53 AM   #21 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Truro, Nova Scotia
Personally i'd use The Hulks dick with superman pushing.
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Old 07-23-2003, 04:55 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vanquish
Personally i'd use The Hulks dick with superman pushing.
Interesting...
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Old 07-23-2003, 05:02 AM   #23 (permalink)
through charlatans phone
 
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Location: Northcoast
Maybe force him to watch a continuous loop of Martha Stewart preparing matzo-ball soup, while force feeding him bagels and lox.
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Old 07-23-2003, 05:04 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by paddyjoe
Maybe force him to watch a continuous loop of Martha Stewart preparing matzo-ball soup, while force feeding him bagels and lox.
ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 07-23-2003, 05:06 AM   #25 (permalink)
Psycho
 
I would have to clear everybody from the room (exept Hitler, of course), gently place a nice set of padded earphones over his head, dim the lights, and crank up some David Hasselhoff CD's until his cranium explodes! Does anybody know where I can even buy a David Hasselhoff CD?
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Old 07-23-2003, 07:40 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Location: Idaho
make him look at tubgirl.com
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Old 07-23-2003, 08:32 AM   #27 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: SWLA
I'm with Sion...

I'll ignore him...aggressivly...while cutting off his left arm from the elbow down, pummeling him with it and screaming "STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF!" etc.

ah...catharsis (dotdotdot)
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Old 07-23-2003, 08:51 AM   #28 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: MA
Just throw him in a country with a government ruled by all the people he hates.
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Old 07-23-2003, 09:08 AM   #29 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: Earth
I would just take him and put him in a cool dark room. As for hitler being a great leader... I not sure I agree. But thats my opinion
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Old 07-23-2003, 01:34 PM   #30 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
Quote:
Originally posted by geodaro
I would have to clear everybody from the room (exept Hitler, of course), gently place a nice set of padded earphones over his head, dim the lights, and crank up some David Hasselhoff CD's until his cranium explodes! Does anybody know where I can even buy a David Hasselhoff CD?
Germany.
--------
I'd pop out his kneecaps with a grapefruit spoon.
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Old 07-23-2003, 02:14 PM   #31 (permalink)
Well...
 
Location: afk
There's a rule you can't use fsck as a replacement cuss word unless you know the command line arguments.

man fsck.


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Old 07-23-2003, 03:13 PM   #32 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Steel City ( the 'Burgh)
i'll give him the chinese water torture and pour really slow acting acid on to his dick so it takes along time for him to be dickless (alot of pain hopefully).
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Old 07-23-2003, 05:41 PM   #33 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Pasadena, CA
Quote:
Originally posted by geodaro
Does anybody know where I can even buy a David Hasselhoff CD?
I hear he's big in Germany, so... maybe not such a good torture.

eh. Why waste time on him? If you want him gone, get rid of him and move on. Why draw it out? Someone like that would never learn whatever lesson you were trying to impart anyway.

And yeah, he was one hell of a leader. Just... you know... eeee-vil.
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Old 07-23-2003, 05:55 PM   #34 (permalink)
Indifferent to anti-matter
 
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Location: Tucson, AZ
FSCK? How the fuck do you FSCK someone? And why Hitler? What did he ever do to you?
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Old 07-24-2003, 02:12 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Location: OlyWa
i'd just tie him up and leave him at a Synagog(SP?) and let the jewish people do what they wanted to him. I have to respect him for being such a powerful orator, leader, and all that. i dont have to respect him for all the shit he did.

6 millions jews is the number people remember... no one ever remember there were 6 million OTHERs he killed... 12 million total.
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Old 07-24-2003, 04:10 PM   #36 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Belgium
I would shriek: "Eek. I'm in a room with Hitler?" and then go see my shrink and tell him I see dead people.
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Old 07-27-2003, 11:22 PM   #37 (permalink)
JohnnyCorpse
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I think that I would have to rip out his toenails, whilst I sit on his face... and I have a very hairy ass for being 16.
Then, I would take a few dozen nails, and hammer them into his ribcage so that they formed a gigantic swastika.

...too bad I have respect for Hitler. He is one of my heros, mainly for his ability to raise an army of such tenacity as the Nazis, and brainwash millions of people. Not to mention the SS kicked fucking ass.
 
 

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