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Old 07-27-2003, 08:31 PM   #1 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Brisbane, Australia
TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the
police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced
him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in
the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store
clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and
grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man
in the line-up to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot".
The man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to
simulate a gun but, unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
(hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east
of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem.
No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft going.
It was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power was
applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina,
thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything in perfect working condition.

The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct
size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath,
he came up choking on water. He was laughing so hard.
. NOW REMEMBER ..THIS IS TRUE...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
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Old 07-27-2003, 08:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I should laugh at this, but it's just so sad that people are this stupid.
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Old 07-27-2003, 08:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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theyre not all morons, some of them just had some fun at the expense of others humility, and time in prison
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Old 07-27-2003, 08:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Dallas
Some people should not be out in public.
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Old 07-27-2003, 08:43 PM   #5 (permalink)
Crazy
 
and consequently they find ways to remove themselves from the public.
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cough
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Old 07-27-2003, 09:02 PM   #6 (permalink)
Practical Anarchist
 
Location: Yesterday i woke up stuck in hollywood
did you right that?
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Old 07-27-2003, 09:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR

Quote:
Originally posted by Tandem

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the
police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."

tooo funny
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Old 07-27-2003, 09:11 PM   #8 (permalink)
Lost
 
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Location: One step closer to the padded cell...
build something fool proof, and the world will build a better fool... forgot who said it originally, but it seems to fit
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Old 07-27-2003, 09:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
green
 
Re: TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR

Quote:
Originally posted by Tandem
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
How exactly these people managed to do that and think that at least SOMETHING wasn't wrong with it is beyond me. WAY beyond me.
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Old 07-28-2003, 12:07 AM   #10 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: northern california
Good stuff! Now I can go to sleep feeling safe again.
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Old 07-28-2003, 02:21 AM   #11 (permalink)
Upright
 
lol
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Old 07-28-2003, 08:23 AM   #12 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Dreams
Future Darwin Awards contestants for sure
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Old 07-28-2003, 08:27 AM   #13 (permalink)
You + Me = Us
 
Location: California dreaming...
There should be laws against being this stupid. I mean, damn, the trailer?
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Old 07-28-2003, 09:48 AM   #14 (permalink)
spurt king
 
Location: Out of my mind
This has always been a favorite of mine

<img src="http://forums.pwctoday.com/download.php?id=1694&sid=a66affc5531fd626d61a9497c07002bc">
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Old 07-28-2003, 12:46 PM   #15 (permalink)
smithja0423
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HA! Nothing as good as seeing an suv driving idiot prove that he's an idiot for more reasons than the SUV himself...
 
Old 07-29-2003, 10:29 PM   #16 (permalink)
Warrior Smith
 
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Location: missouri
hey- the world needs people like this- what do you think keeps the economy and politics going
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:43 PM   #17 (permalink)
ClerkMan!
 
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Location: Tulsa, Ok.
I have read all of those before except the last one. I don't even see how that one is possible. I mean you would have to be damn near trying to do that to pull that one off. I mean they HAD to have unhooked the trailer or they were pulling their car too and not noticing. That said, I still believe it is true.

Edit: Also about the SUV, I hope the driver had atleast enough sense to get out of the car before the third picture was taken. In fact I probablly would have said fuck this as soon as ANY water was getting in my car.
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"I would like about three fiddy"

Last edited by BBtB; 07-29-2003 at 11:45 PM..
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Old 07-30-2003, 03:34 AM   #18 (permalink)
.
 
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Location: Tokyo
these are all hilarious.
especially that SUV - goddam thats great.
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Old 07-30-2003, 06:12 AM   #19 (permalink)
Fledgling Dead Head
 
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Location: Clarkson U.
I really loved the first one....Corporate america at its full and finest!
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Old 08-02-2003, 12:04 AM   #20 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: US
Gotta love it.

http://66.165.133.65/humor/jokes/isabella.htm

Take it as you like, HILARIOUS either way.
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Old 08-02-2003, 12:13 PM   #21 (permalink)
Sir, I have a plan...
 
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Location: 38S NC20943324
The sum of intelligence on Earth is a constant. The population is growing...
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Old 08-02-2003, 04:00 PM   #22 (permalink)
DILLIGAF
 
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Location: AZ
i laughed for ten minutes about the boat, i thought the guy was gonna come up and say they were dragging the anchor or something
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Old 08-03-2003, 12:24 PM   #23 (permalink)
Crazy
 
great stories!
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