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Old 08-21-2003, 04:27 AM   #1 (permalink)
I aim to misbehave!
 
rockogre's Avatar
 
Location: SW Oklahoma
How many kittens have you killed?

This will give an approximate number of kittens you have killed in a lifetime.

The Ejaculator
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Old 08-21-2003, 04:57 AM   #2 (permalink)
Psycho
 
zaiaz's Avatar
 
Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.
You have made 27.083333333333 gallons and 226.02135833333 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 2.8888888888889 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,872,000,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 10400 kittens.
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Old 08-21-2003, 09:24 AM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Quote:
Originally posted by zaiaz
You have made 27.083333333333 gallons and 226.02135833333 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 2.8888888888889 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,872,000,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 10400 kittens.
HOLY SHIT man
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Old 08-21-2003, 10:47 AM   #4 (permalink)
Sexy eh?
 
Location: Sweden
You have made 27.421875 gallons and 228.8466253125 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 1.95 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,263,600,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 7020 kittens.

Those darn kittens had it comming!!!
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Old 08-21-2003, 11:53 AM   #5 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: ville
I'm guessing somewhere around 6000
I'm 25 now, I try to murder at least one a day
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Old 08-21-2003, 12:18 PM   #6 (permalink)
Overreactor
 
Location: South Ca'lina
Whoa! 10 gallons??!! I never knew I had it in me.

And why DO they call it killing kittens?
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Old 08-21-2003, 12:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
Addict
 
jimk's Avatar
 
Location: Chicago
i don't remember where i saw it - maybe fark- there was a post that said, "every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten."

meow
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Old 08-21-2003, 12:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
I demand a better future
 
HeAtHeN's Avatar
 
Location: Great White North
You have made 13.203125 gallons and 110.1854121875 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 93.888888888889 yards.
You have killed approximately 608,400,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 3380 kittens.

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Old 08-21-2003, 12:53 PM   #9 (permalink)
Boy am I horny today
 
absorbentishe's Avatar
 
Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!
I can't really figure it out, since my little swimmers don't come out any more.
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Old 08-21-2003, 01:21 PM   #10 (permalink)
Intently Rocking
 
Troublebot's Avatar
 
Location: Davey's
You have made 17.0625 gallons and 142.39345575 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 1.82 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,179,360,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 6552 kittens.

I'm just glad the 17 gallons weren't all at once.
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Old 08-21-2003, 03:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :.
 
bernadette's Avatar
 
Location: this ain't kansas, toto
BWAHAHAHAHA
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Old 08-21-2003, 03:56 PM   #12 (permalink)
Tilted
 
for johnnymysto that should explain the whole kitten thing


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Old 08-21-2003, 05:44 PM   #13 (permalink)
Thor
 
micah67's Avatar
 
Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W
393 more years and I'll have enough to fill my hot tub!
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Old 08-21-2003, 06:24 PM   #14 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Stiltzkin's Avatar
 
Killing kittens is vile and evil. Stop it!

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Old 08-22-2003, 04:53 AM   #15 (permalink)
.
 
bundy's Avatar
 
Location: Tokyo
how many kittens have i killed??

NOT ENOUGH
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Old 08-22-2003, 04:58 AM   #16 (permalink)
Redwing fan extraordinaire
 
Location: Michigan
I got about 1700 kitty skeletons in my closet......... That seems low.... My wife keeps me so tired i dont kill as many as i used too.
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Old 08-22-2003, 06:50 AM   #17 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: South of the border
Quote:
You have made 6.5 gallons and 54.245126 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 69.333333333333 yards.
You have killed approximately 449,280,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2496 kittens.
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Old 08-22-2003, 11:23 AM   #18 (permalink)
Funran
 
Location: Norman, OK
good times guys, good times. haha.
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Old 08-22-2003, 12:13 PM   #19 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Columbia Falls, MT
You have made 11.916666666667 gallons and 99.449397666667 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 63.555555555556 yards.
You have killed approximately 411,840,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2288 kittens.
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Old 08-22-2003, 01:52 PM   #20 (permalink)
I am the anomaly.
 
Location: Motown
You have made 10.15625 gallons and 84.758009375 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 72.222222222222 yards.
You have killed approximately 468,000,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2600 kittens and one ground squirrel.
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Old 08-22-2003, 04:20 PM   #21 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Sunny S.FLA
You have made 9.140625 gallons and 76.2822084375 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 65 yards.
You have killed approximately 421,200,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2340 kittens.
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Old 08-22-2003, 07:53 PM   #22 (permalink)
Upright
 
You have made 8.53125 gallons and 71.196727875 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 60.666666666667 yards.
You have killed approximately 393,120,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2184 kittens.
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Old 08-22-2003, 08:09 PM   #23 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
grumpyolddude's Avatar
 
Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
13,000 kittens, and hunting more later tonight.
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Old 08-22-2003, 11:18 PM   #24 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Killing Kittens? That is a new one (to me). To think that I wandered into this forum to actaully see what people were saying about killing cats.

You sick-os! (Just kidding) I killed a squirrel not long ago. What euphamism might that be for?
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Old 08-23-2003, 01:14 AM   #25 (permalink)
bad craziness
 
m0rpheus's Avatar
 
Location: Guelph, Ontario
You have made 26.40625 gallons and 220.370824375 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 1.8777777777778 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,216,800,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 6760 kittens.

Poor kittens. Guess I'll have to stop jerking off n... oooh look this internet thing has porn...
.
.
.
.
.
6761
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Old 08-23-2003, 06:27 AM   #26 (permalink)
Enter Title Here
 
Location: Tennessee
You have made 17.875 gallons and 149.1740965 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 1.2711111111111 football fields!
You have killed approximately 823,680,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 4576 kittens.
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Old 08-23-2003, 10:24 AM   #27 (permalink)
**PORNHOUND**
 
Ashton's Avatar
 
Location: California
LOL!

You have made 98.109375 gallons and 818.7623705625 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 6.9766666666667 football fields!
You have killed approximately 4,520,880,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 25116 kittens.
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Old 08-23-2003, 10:42 AM   #28 (permalink)
Cracking the Whip
 
Lebell's Avatar
 
Location: Sexymama's arms...
Quote:
You have made 45.703125 gallons and 381.4110421875 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 3.25 football fields!
You have killed approximately 2,106,000,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 11700 kittens.
I don't know if I should brag or hang my head in shame...
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Old 08-23-2003, 01:02 PM   #29 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Orange County, California
There is a LOT of tissue paper wasted in this thread.
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Old 08-23-2003, 01:21 PM   #30 (permalink)
Pro Libertate
 
Location: City Gecko
This is why only 50% of lion cubs make it to two years old. We are killing one of the top predators of the african plains at an alarming rate.

PS: Domokun says "Cats have no natural predators", so we must a) control the population of the feline species, and b) prevent colon cancer!
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Old 08-23-2003, 01:48 PM   #31 (permalink)
is KING!
 
bparker805's Avatar
 
Location: On the path to Valhalla.
Woah. I think i might give the poor fella a break for a little while...

You have made 31.078125 gallons and 259.3595086875 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 2.21 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,432,080,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 7956 kittens.

YEAH RIGHT. HEY, GOD. LINE THOSE FUCKERS UP... HERE I GO AGAIN!
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Old 08-23-2003, 02:10 PM   #32 (permalink)
Amazed
 
tropicdiver's Avatar
 
Location: Austin, Texas
Speaking of <br><br><A href="http://www.richsalter.btinternet.co.uk/"> killing kittens... </A>
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Old 08-24-2003, 12:03 AM   #33 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: INCONUS
That game is cool... but the old fashion way is still much more fun... oh, and:

You have made 8.53125 gallons and 71.196727875 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 60.666666666667 yards.
You have killed approximately 393,120,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2184 kittens.

Among those "little swimers" how many do you think might have had the potential to solve the world's hunger problems (or any major issues)?
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Old 08-24-2003, 06:50 AM   #34 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
Fremen's Avatar
 
Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Quote:
You have made 22.75 gallons and 189.857941 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 1.6177777777778 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,048,320,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 5824 kittens.
I can't say I'm surprised. I knew they were disappearing like flies.
I just hope know one calls the A.S.P.C.A. on me.
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Old 08-24-2003, 09:12 AM   #35 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
Fly's Avatar
 
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
hang on....workin' on another kitten right now.

*off to the titty board*
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Old 08-24-2003, 09:33 AM   #36 (permalink)
Junkie
 
You have made 29.25 gallons and 244.103067 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 2.08 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,347,840,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 7488 kittens.
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Old 08-24-2003, 11:41 AM   #37 (permalink)
JBX
Unfair and Imbalanced
 
Location: Upstate, NY
The fact list:

Amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 tsp
Average # of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000

Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons

Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour

Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour

Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7

Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches
According to Kinsey...
White male: 4"
Black male: 4.3"

Average length when erect: 5.1
Another reported...
White males - 6.2" long and 3.7" around
black males - 6.3" long and 3.8" around
According to the Definitive Penis Size Survey...
While males - 6.5"
Asian males - 5.5"

*The average length a guy thinks an erect penis measures: 10"

*What women think: 4"
(*Jane - April 2000)

Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch

Smallest erect penis: 1cm ("micropenis")

*Largest natural penis recorded: 13 inches *(according to the Kinsey Institute)
In medical literature: 14" (Reuben 1969)
Medically verified on record: 13.5" long & 6.25" around (Dickinson)

Largest penis: blue whale - approx. 10 feet long & 1 foot in diameter. The African Bull Elephants come in 2nd place with a 5-6 footer.

Largest Testes: Northern Right Whale: 2,200 pounds. The African Bull Elephant comes in second place again with 4.4 pounders (each). That's about the size of a football.

Largest Testes (human) on record: an african whale scrotum weighed 154 pounds and measured almost 2 feet in diameter. (the ideal testicle should measure about 4cm long and 2cm broad.)

Elephantiasis: a disease caused by the obstruction of lymph vessels due to parasitic filarial worms - can cause gonads to swell to the size of a watermelon.

Polyorchidism: the presence of more than 2 testicles. (Approx. 75 reported cases - most of which had 3 tests and on occasion one born with 4 or even 5 testicles.)

% of men who say they masturbate: 60%

% of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%

% of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%

Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2 weeks

Average # of erections a man has per day: 11

Average # of erections during the night: 9

Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches

Time it takes the sperm to travel the distance: 2.5 seconds

Diphallasparatus - a rare disorder (80 reported cases) for those with more than one penis.

Dr. Jorn Ege Siana claims to have surgically extended a penis by a full 14.5cm (5.7") The patient was a 42 year old with an 1.8" penis.

Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie

In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. (There have been 80 similarly documented cases since then.)

When men of the Walibri tribe of central Australia greet each other, they shake penises instead of hands.

In 14th century Europe, high-ranking noblemen were permitted to display their genitals below a short tunic, while those not impressively endowed could, if they chose, wear a leather falsie called a braquette.

The Caramoja tribe in northern Ugunda tie a weight on the end of their penises to elongate them - sometimes to such a degree that the men literally have to knot them up.

The Mambas of New Hebrides wrap their penises in yards of cloth, making them look up to 17 inches long.

"The Perfumed Garden" tells of a man who 'remained erect for 30 days without a break' by eating onions.

The "Kama Sutra" claims that eating 'many eggs friend in butter, then immersed in honey', will make the 'member' hard for the whole night.

Sperm can live inside women for up to a week.

When egyptian troops invaded Libya in 13th century BC they took with them as trophies a total of 13,230 penises.

A stone relief in Thebes depicts a band of victors amassing a pile of 3000 phalli before the king.
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Old 08-24-2003, 12:47 PM   #38 (permalink)
Upright
 
Originally posted by zaiaz
You have made 27.083333333333 gallons and 226.02135833333 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 2.8888888888889 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,872,000,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 10400 kittens.



shhhhhhhhhhit lol
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Old 08-24-2003, 01:05 PM   #39 (permalink)
Exhausted
 
Location: Northeastern US - please send help!
You have made 17.0625 gallons and 142.39345575 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 91 yards.
You have killed approximately 589,680,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 3276 kittens.

I'm a dog guy anyway...
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Old 08-25-2003, 10:55 PM   #40 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: INCONUS
umm... thanks for the info JBX...
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