Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Tilted Fun Zone

LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-15-2003, 11:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
Location: ville
Give me some intimidating lines

I was at a bar over the weekend, and I accidently stepped on someones shoe. He got all pissed at me aboot it, and started talking shit, telling me he was gonna whoop my ass. I told him to go fuck himself and I walked away.

But I realized that my comeback was pretty weak, so now I am asking you to give me another one, in case this sort of thing happens again.

I'm 6" 220pds and in pretty good shape if that help out you creative flow any
baaa is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 11:08 AM   #2 (permalink)
Location: Lost in space
Next time you open your mouth I will shove this size 11 so far up your ass you'll be pissing wax and shitting leather for a month.
My Bad Ass Hummer

weasel2112 is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 11:58 AM   #3 (permalink)
I aim to misbehave!
rockogre's Avatar
Location: SW Oklahoma
I'm six foot and 250 pounds. I like to just stare for a few beats, then slowly start to grin like I might possibly be a lunatic. No one wants to mess with a possible lunatic.

Well that and saying "if you wanna talk shit how about I reach down your throat and pull your ass up to your mouth so the trip will be shorter?".

A friend of mine used to threaten to "rip your head off and piss down your throat".

One of my personal favorites is, "How about I just light you up and piss you out?".
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

Last edited by rockogre; 09-15-2003 at 12:01 PM..
rockogre is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 12:53 PM   #4 (permalink)
Location: Iowa?
The only one I can ever think of is, "Yeah, well....FUCK YOU!!"
I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
-The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, T.S. Eliot

Your dumber then me.
JazzmanAl is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 01:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
Boy am I horny today
absorbentishe's Avatar
Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!
Crawl up my ass and die you fuck.

I'm a card carrying member of the NRA, and I'm not afraid to use you as target practice. (not good in a redneck bar) I've used this on some stupid drunk dude trying to hit on this girl that was at my table of friends, he quietly left, in case anyone cares.
absorbentishe is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 01:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
The Cover Doesn't Match The Book
Midnight_Son's Avatar
Location: in a van down by the river
Originally posted by rockogre
I'm six foot and 250 pounds. I like to just stare for a few beats, then slowly start to grin like I might possibly be a lunatic. No one wants to mess with a possible lunatic.

That works for you too eh? (6'2 265lbs) it's fun isn't it?
SWM, tattooed, seeks meaningful tits and beer. Enjoys biker mags, pornography, and Sunday morning walks to the liquor store. Winners of erotic hot dog eating contests given priority.
Midnight_Son is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 02:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
Fly em straight!
water_boy1999's Avatar
Location: Above and Beyond
"How bout I put my foot so far up your ass it will make your breath smell like shoe polish!"

"There's gonna be two hits....me hitting you, you hitting the floor"

"I'll drop you like a bad habit"

"I'm gonna hit you to tomorrow."

"Look asshole, after you take your first swing and miss, I am gonna knock the shit out of you....then I am gonna press charges for assault and battery!"

-Homer Simpson
water_boy1999 is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 03:25 PM   #8 (permalink)
I don't talk. I punch.

That said, I am a witty fella and I reckon I can give you a couple of tips, if you're not the punching type.

Basically, a good line is never universal. It always related to what the other person has done or said. Try to look for minor flaws, and make them bigger and funnier.

Suppose, I was arguing with weasel2112 (the second poster in this thread). As he claims in his post, he would say to me:
"Next time you open your mouth I will shove this size 11 so far up your ass you'll be pissing wax and shitting leather for a month."

Now, you should do some quick thinking. First thing you notice is that this guy said he'd take part in a homosexual act. He's covering this fact, by saying you'll be hurt by him. But don't let it go away that easily.

Reply with:
"Contrary to popular belief, the giver is as much a faggot as the receiver. Personally, I'm repulsed by your offer."

Then leave.
"Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
Four Fingers is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 04:44 PM   #9 (permalink)
cchris's Avatar
Location: Sydney
'Oh yeah"

Well dont let fear stop you.
There's a fine line between participation and mockery
cchris is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 05:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
King Knave
QuasiMojo's Avatar
Location: Lancaster
you could say...

"How would you like me to chop off your head and throw your body in the trash."
then start to chew your tongue into a bloody pulp.

guaranteed if he sees you doing violent, bloody harm to yourself
he won't want to mess with you.

of course this is just silly and in the real world what you did was probably the best tactic.
AzAbOv ZoBeLoE
QuasiMojo is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 05:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
bundy's Avatar
Location: Tokyo

line dancing is intimidating at the best of times.

when i was at school, there was one intimidating line that i remember the school sergeant delivering to about 50 noisy kids...
it went like this...

¨the next one of you little bastards to talk is going to find my 9.5 inch prick up your backside!¨

that scared the living shit out of every kid there. thats no joke, he really said it. he was ex-navy, and didn´t take shit from anyone.
bundy is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 05:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
King Knave
QuasiMojo's Avatar
Location: Lancaster
Baaa vs. Rockogre

Baaa= 6' 220 lbs

Rockogre= 6' 250lbs

Lets get ready to rummmmmble

AzAbOv ZoBeLoE
QuasiMojo is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 07:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
see the links to my music?
Fly's Avatar
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
next time....just tell him to go play "hide and go fuck yourself"

works every time.

Fly is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 08:03 PM   #14 (permalink)
I read your emails.
canuckguy's Avatar
Location: earth
"you gonna bark all day little doggie or you gonna come over here and take a bite" something like that from that movie, by quentin t.
canuckguy is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 08:09 PM   #15 (permalink)
spurt king
Location: Out of my mind
I'm in the 6'2 250 club too.

And kinda like rockorge.. i don't use any lines. I just smile. i smile until they swing. (I never swing... i grab and force submition real quick like... thats "missouri" for damn fast).
No signature at this time.
GSRIDER is offline  
Old 09-15-2003, 08:35 PM   #16 (permalink)
Location: outer reaches of space
do your parents have your dna on file ? cause they'll need it after I'm done with you.
rub it and see.
seethreepo is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 10:49 AM   #17 (permalink)
fhqwhgads's Avatar
"I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants...so you can watch me kick the crap out of you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!"

fhqwhgads is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 11:12 AM   #18 (permalink)
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :.
bernadette's Avatar
Location: this ain't kansas, toto
geeze. what a prissy assed fucko.

must've been some serious expensive faggo designer shoes.

personally, i avoid confrontations with assholes. i just would've said "oops. i'm so sorry" & walked away. people like that aren't worth the effort or time.
bernadette is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 04:16 PM   #19 (permalink)
shalafi's Avatar
Location: Stuart, Florida
just beat his head in with a ball peen hammer. maybe by the time your done you will have thought of something witty.
shalafi is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 04:38 PM   #20 (permalink)
Modern Man
Location: West Michigan
Call him a homo, and since most assholes are homophobes, they'll come after you. Then say "Why would you be offended if it wasn't true?" Then hit him in the head with a ball peen hammer. Then spit on him and finish your beer.
Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold.
-Son House, Death Letter Blues
Conclamo Ludus is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 04:51 PM   #21 (permalink)
is KING!
bparker805's Avatar
Location: On the path to Valhalla.
Actions speak louder than words. Cheap shot him next time by kicking him in the nuts before he even gets a word out.
bparker805 is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 05:09 PM   #22 (permalink)
Location: YOUR MOM!!
"Sounds like someone is volunteering to be an organ donor."

"You've just won the "getting my ass whooped loto", get ready to be paid.

"Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light? (compl. of Batman)

"Hey bud, pop quiz. What does my fist taste like?"

And if you're feeling "creepy", stare at his feet and start to hum, "three blind mice"
And now here I stand because of you, Mister Anderson, because of you I'm no longer an agent of the system, because of you I've changed...
prosequence is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 07:50 PM   #23 (permalink)
spurt king
Location: Out of my mind
Oldies but goodies

You better speed up before you get beat up

Better check yourself before you wreck yourself

ahhh... no those are as lame now as they were in the late 80s
No signature at this time.
GSRIDER is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 08:34 PM   #24 (permalink)
Location: 3rd coast area
"I'll scratch your face!"
Hail to ALL the troops and shadow warriors.
mrsandman is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 10:27 PM   #25 (permalink)
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
seizei's Avatar
Location: CFB Gagetown, NB, CANADA
'Oh NO you did'nent... NO YOU did'nent"(wag your head side to side and put one hand on your hip, while waving the index finger of the other hand in the 'no-no' sign)
"If you're not weird, you're not interesting".
I'm very interesting ...

seizei; (adv - Japanese) at the most; at best; to the utmost; as much (far) as possible. (pronounced - say-zay)
seizei is offline  
Old 09-16-2003, 10:35 PM   #26 (permalink)
Location: ketchikan

and run that works
liquid_dreams is offline  
Old 09-17-2003, 01:12 AM   #27 (permalink)
"You know, if your mom used her mouth as much as you do, she might be a better fuck."


"You talk shit like your mom begs for sex."

Maybe these are better comebacks than for pure intimidation... good, anyway.
analog is offline  
Old 09-17-2003, 01:47 AM   #28 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
K-Wise's Avatar
Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
These 2 are always good
"Look if you don't fuck off I'll shove my foot so far up your ass you'll be able to tounge tie my shoelaces"
"OH YEAH? C'mon then I'll kick your ass up so high you'll have to lay down to take a shit!"
A funny one is
"Fuck you kiss my ass while I'm farting asshole!"

Anyways I think the obvious remark someone should've mentioned is YER FUCKIN 6 FOOT 220lbs!! Thats all the intimidation you need man talk is fuckin cheap man do it like a mexican if he's threatening to kick your ass get right in his face look him in the eye and say "Well...whataya waitin for?" and if he does nothing but talk more shit back say "Thats what I fuckin thought" and walk away. He'll look like the pussy for not steppin up. Frankly fact of the matter is if he was gonna kick your ass he wouldn't a threatened to do it he woulda just done it. He musta been one a those self-concious macho motherfuckers who's bark is bigger than his bite. George Carlin said it best
These are the same motherfuckers that if you smash em over the head with a cinder block, n beat em with a steal rod for a half an hour ya know what? They'll drop like a fuckin rock!
"I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project

It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys! - Asta!!
K-Wise is offline  
Old 09-17-2003, 05:17 AM   #29 (permalink)
Just grab them by the throat and push up against a wall. Glare insanely at them and growl "Dont ask to dance unless you know the step".

You can also act as if he has just made your day by picking a fight with you. You act so eager for a fight and it might as well be him. You could say excitedly something like "Good I need some stress relief"

Or the most simple thing to do in the pub is to hold your drink down by yourside. As he is there spitting in your face throw your drink in his groin. He will automatically look down straight into a raising empty glass. Glass the bastard in the face. Drop the glass before the bouncers notice what has happened and start laying into them. Once the bouncers are pulling you two away from ewach other just laugh as loud as possible at him for weting his pants. There are heaps of smartarse comments here like maybe wearing a nappy or better go home and get your mum to change your dacks or just say Ooo did i scare por little baby? You have kicked there arse physically and mentally. Totally satisfying
Lunchbox7 is offline  
Old 06-24-2011, 11:51 AM   #30 (permalink)
how about;

why dont i rip your eyes from your ckull and shove them down your throat so you can personally watch me rip through you stomach
Dude Mc Dude is offline  

give, intimadating, lines

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:42 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2023, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360