i think maim and kill are better words to use phil my friend.

phil's right.....

a vagina is man's best friend.

Nope. A vagina is a very desirable enemy!



The space bar is the longest key on a computer keyboard...

So young, such potential, so wrong...

That's why they call it a "space bar" and not the "space key."

The Mongo is the Mongolian currency.

and the hamburgler gives away freebies...gh, wake up...the mongo is the guy that knocked out the horse in blazing saddles...


AOL stands for america on line...

Phil ....a little early to be drinking no ?

AOL stands for average overweight leftists

I could really go for a beer right now.

hey bender?

don't you mean six or so?

ya' i thought so.

cold beer is overrated.

Wrongo flyman...the shit beer you drink is overrated.

any beer will do eh flyman?

farts stink.

only from your ass dude.

*yup....any beer will do*

jam is overrated.

No its not.. You just gotta add the first three letters back to the word and its definately not over-rated.... TOEjam... :D



I am Insane.

Given that the first three letters of neither Overrated nor Jam are T-O-E, I wuld say you're sane, just a bit slow on the uptake :-)

The Muslim army was defeated and turned back at the Battle of Tours.

Wrongo, that was the Muslin army.

Hal owns the TFP.

I'm afraid that Halx, the x is silent, does not own the TFP, he merely channels it from the 7th dimension.

Killer attack clowns are being trained secretly by our government.

Sorry you are wrong, it isn't a big secret anymore now that you've let the cat out of the bag.

Run clowns, run! :D

At this moment I am watching a football game.

You couldn't be it 1:20 AM

I am missing one finger.

no you're not, little digital-dialer...it's in your right rear pocket with your keys...


eggs are ovular...

phil....buddy.....let's just say..you crack that egg into a skillet,swirl it around into a scrambled mixture and add cheese and mushrooms.

now tell me that is ovular........i didn't think so.




fishing is a great pasttime.

Fishing isn't a great pasttime flyman, it's a great pastime.
*I love fishing, so the only thing I can do is nail you on your spelling*

Corn flakes are made from corn.

No, sorry you can nail me to a lot of things (crosses come to mind), but you cannot nail me to fishing...

Also corn flakes are not entirely made from corn, there is this stuff called thiamin.

2+2 = 4

spassvogel you're not...3 + 1 = 4...


flyshit looks exactly like pepper...

nOPE, FLYSHIT LOOKS JUST LIKE FLYSHIT


CAPS LOCK MAKES everything in caps

not the numbers..................... so WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Working on sunday sucks!

nope...it blows...


hourglasses measure time...

nope...sorry phil.......

hourglasses measure an hour.

sand feels good between your toes.

Not when you're wearing boots. All it will do is give you blisters.


Ahhh my kids are still sleeping...this is a nice time of day.

wrong jam boy.......it's night here.

white wine is best cold.

No white wone is best served at 102 deg. everybody knows that!

I invented liquid soap.

queedo, i must roll my own eyes at that one...colgate/palmolive invented liquid soap...


tree bark is on the outside...

Not if it's on a tree in a greenhouse.



Nelson Mandela is a great man and was a brilliant ruler.

Wrong, he was just a drummer in a hut band that never quite panned out.

The opposite of up is down.

rockogre !! are you mad ?
Down is whats in pillows and comes form geese.

There is some great beer made in Canada.

bender, you'd better help rock look for the geese because you are oh, so wrong on this one...the only great beer is made in australia...


pickled pig's feet are marinated in a vinegar solution...

You are wrong Uncle Phil, for everyone knows that pig's feet (along with the rest of said pig) get pickled at the local pub like everyone else.

pi = 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862

Pheatius, pie is apple not some sort of number that you just made up.

Chairs are made to sit on.
And UnclePhil...Austraila forced Fosters on the rest of the world and shouldn't be forgiven for that.

not if you have to reach the top cupboard shelf.then you stand on them.

north of the 49th is where it's at.

actually, it is a pronoun not a location

dandelions are weeds.

not if ur 4 year old gives you a bouquet of them

Classic rock is the best music ever.

Not so my Zeppelin of Led friend...It is the only music.

Straws are good for sucking.

what good is a straw if you have not a lung? Then i ask, are they good for sucking?

music soothes the soul.

bing bing fall down go boom boom...not if it's anything played by these clowns that drive up and down the street with their windows open and the bass turned up high...


like krwlz said, classic rock is the best music ever...

Wrong. Heavy Metal from the 80's is.




Lansing is the capitol of Michigan.

Who cares?

Kingston Ontario was the capitol of Canada in the early 1800's.

WTF? Canada doesn't even feature on the majority of world maps.

George Foreman uses his lean grilling machine on a daily basis.

Sorry it's actually his "lean mean fat reducing grilling machine" that he uses on a daily basis. Probably uses his lean grilling machine for special occasions only :)

I'm where I am.

Actually, you’re in the matrixs like kenau reeves and u gotsa “free you mind” and jump buildings and learn boxing n kung fu.

I'm never last picked.

I've just picked you as one of the the recipeints of the first reply to my first post in this thread, award. Making your first and last picked.

the sound of one hand clapping is the wind displaced by my hands motion

Nope, the sound of one hand clapping is half the sound of two hands clapping.



I am just.

No Ur Not!! Ur A Homo-sapien



Nine People Live In My House!!

It's not your house, it belongs to nine people.


Women are strange.

Women are strange only when your a stranger, so I hate to tell you this but your wrong.


It cold in this office !!

Cold is relative. Bet the office is warm compared to the artic ocean.

that fire is hot :P :)

if it's anything like the fires i build,then i think scorching would discribe it a little better.

my pool is still cold.

Your gene pool would disagree.

My swimming pool is still cold.

Your gene pool would disagree.

My swimming pool is still cold.

Hail Wrongula!

Is your swimming pool liquid or solid? Alright then… Liquid water should have been our most popular god. We owe it everything. Please do not disrespect it with such a subjective and pejorative term such as "cold." Please.

Peetster double posted.

Bullshit! Peetster didn't double post, there was a malfunction in the Tilted code.

I could bite like a tarantula.

bing bing, what a tangled web you weave...tarantulas don't bite, they CHOMP...


i will mow my lawn today...

Wrong. You will push the mower around for a while, probably stopping to whinge every now and then, all the while taking the credit for a job that's really being done by the mower blades...


Family pies do not contain ground-up families.

OH YEAH! Well mine do!
(what the hell is a family pie)


Look like some thunderstorms are coming later today.

dude.....so wrong

we're lookin' at 30 today.Celsius that is


i live in the rain forest.

You live in a tree forest. I don't quite think the collective noun for a group of raindrops is the 'forest'


Dog pellets are not made from dogs...

That's quite inaccurate as some dogs are known to scavenge from the bodies of other dogs, and thus, the digested dogs create said "dog pellets" when excreted from the dog of consumption.

Stairway to Heaven is the greatest rock song never released as a single

rat...please step away form the bong.

Margrettaville by Jimmy Buffet is the greatest rock song never released as a single.

Space is mostly empty.

Bender, the only empty space is that between my ears.

Space itself is populated with particles, stars, solar currents, gases, and theoretically black holes as well.

tomatoes are the only fruit both commonly mistaken as a vegetable and used as a source of displeasure with a poor public performance.

rat, your knowledge base is as twisted as your tail...eggs serve both purposes as well...


marlon brando, robert duvall, and martin sheen starred in "apocalypse now..."

i wouldn't call it "starred in," more like "got caught in a bad acid trip during"...

Matrix: Reloaded had a very deep, meaningful plot with a superb cliffhanger ending :o

rat .... rat.... rat....
any movie with K. R. as a star in it can not have any of the above.

I wish that I had a million dollars in my bank account

No, you wish you had a million dollars in shiny quarters on your kitchen table right now.

I just finished a beer.

NAY...It was finished in some obscure brewery, somewhere in the distant past...you just drank the contents of the bottle/can/glass.


The word "especially" does not have a "K" in it!

Actually, Mrsandman, the dutch word for "especially" is "Voornamelijk," which which obviously does contain a "k."

"And you just don't get it
You keep it copacetic
And you learn to accept it
You know it's so pathetic" are lyrics by Local H.

To my knowledge, those are lyrics by Scott form TPF. I have no reference to Local H, or in fact, any reason to believe they exist...


If my colon gets cancer, i die.

Hey mate, you're goofy. They'll cut part of it out, give you some chemo, and back in business you go.


Tomorrow is my day off!!!!!!

Tomorrow never comes...except maybe in that Annie movie

Gatorade(R) is scientifically formulated to replace more of what you lose when you sweat by providing fluids and electrolytes to promote complete rehydration and carbs to refuel working muscles.

od, you've been drinking too much of that "juice"...there is no such thing as "complete" rehydration...


tiger woods can hit a golf ball...

wrong my friend phil.......

tiger woods "kills" the golf ball.

the five iron is the utility club.

Flyman what are you from out of town ?
The Utility Club is a rocking pub down on forth .

its good to be the king.

I think King Charles I would disagree, O prince Bender, as his head was detached from his body to speed the end of his reign.

Nobody is perfect.

phaetius, phaetius, phaetius, phaetius...all i can say to that is...oh?


today is pete's birthday...

Phil !!
Thats some narrow thinking you've got going on over there.
the pete that I know has his b.day in Sept.

I got rid of my aviator as a show of support and I miss it.

You got rid of your avatar because you wanted people to know you cared about the forum... if you missed it, you would get it back.


Polar bears make lousy bedfellows...

Unless they're dead or you're a Female polar bear.

George W. Bush has never had carnal knowledge of a farm animal.

Bullshit, his wife moans like a cow in orgasm during their daily enema session.

God is hung like Ron Jeremy.

Wrong! God's doesn't "hang". It stands straight out all the time.


It sure was hot today.

Outside my building it is currently 12 degrees Celcius... you call that hot???


Women are never wrong...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

it used to be until mr. rodgers left us.

it is fucking hot out,and it's 3:30 in the morning.

wrong, you posted at 11.39 AM :p

I need to shave more.

wrongo..........you need to wax more often.

Nisses is a rookie with 40 posts.we welcome Nisses

...only in the biblical sense, fly...


i'm drinking coffee right now, in between pounding on the keyboard...

wrong buddy......you're poundin your pudding and drinking coffee.

tea is for girls eh.

Wrong! Tea is against girls!


My popsicle has a stick so I can hold it without melting the ice.

unlikely...it is what some call a penile enhancement.




I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Ah, but you have found what you're looking for and his name is David Hasselhoff.


I think its time for breakfast.

Not here my syminan friend, its past breakfast time and getting closer to Miller time.

I've fallen and can't get up

bender, you simpering nincompoop, all you have to do is "CLAP...CLAP"


sandman previously aluded to some U2 lyrics...

no he didn't, what he said had nothing to do with spy planes. :o)


that, was a really dumb joke

No no it was such witty remark that some people just don't understand it.

I going to play a ball game tonight.

sorry bender.....i thought you said you were playing with your balls

my truck will soon to be mobile.

fly, the only way your truck is going to be mobile is if it unchains itself from the rollback it is sitting on top of...


i need more coffee...

wrong phil.......

the way you're rippin around tfp today,i think you should chill out on the coffee.

uncle phil has a nice vette.

That's a lie flyman, uncle phil sold that veteran a year ago :o

Rat is a four legged creature