The Official "Ask Stiltzkin" thread (jumping on the bandwagon)
 

Feel free to ask me anything. I do have an answer to ALL of your questions!

Will you have sex with me if I give you a McGriddle?

Munku:
Most likely. Can I have a McGriddle with lots of extra cheese? :D

How should I relieve my stress tonight?

wilbjammin:
Couple of suggestions
1.) Furious masturbation
2.) Gaze at the stars for a while
3.) Get wasted (actually, I don't think this *really* relieves stress)
4.) Sleep

Hope this helps :thumbsup:

are you really jumping? or do you just need to go pee real badly?

bernadette:
I'm jumping? Whoa. ::notices that he is jumping:: ::runs to the restroom::

The Official "Ask Stiltzkin" thread (<b>jumping</b> on the bandwagon)

ahem. jumping.

so... um... did everything come out okay?

Who's your daddy?

who's sexier... Astrocloud or Munky?

bernadette:
Yes, everything came out just fine. Thanks :)

Astrocloud:
The man who I call dad ;)

bundy:
Why would you choose one over the other? They're both sexay beasts! ;)

Why do my robots inspire fear?

I'll ask this here because it seems like Halx is swamped...

How would I start out in the "Porn Star Business"? BTW I am hung like a spider... :(

How long is Halx's penis (since he won't answer)?

Astrocloud:
Your robots inspire fear because they are just that: the most fearsome robots evar~!
http://www.mangaml.com/anime/fichas/robotech1ii.jpg

crackprogram:
I don't know how reliable this is, but here ya go!
http://www.getinstarjobbusiness.com/job8.htm
:D

redlemon:
Halx's penis is as long as you want it to be, redlemon :)

why do men care about another man's penis size?

bernadette:
Because we are insecure about our own penis size... which is why we drive sports cars :D (now if only I had enough cash to buy a sports car...)

Why is it so hard to pry a peanut-butter and whitebread sandwich off the roof of your mouth with your tongue?

Fremen:
Because both peanut-butter and whitebread are super absorbent and they suck all the moisture out of yer mouth, which is bad... :(

Why do you rule so much, Stiltzkin?

OMG can you legally ask yourself a question this thread?

and... what should i have for dinner tonight?

Stiltzkin:
I went to the University of Pwnology, and got a degree in pwning major ass. Glad that you noticed :D

bernadette:
Yes, I can legally ask myself questions in this thread. Totally awesome huh?
And for dinner... how about some pizza? If you're not into eating meat... how about a vegetarian pizza? :)

where is the university of pwnology located? how long did it take you to complete a degree in pwning major ass? is that a 4 yr program?

awesome? oui mon cher. totally!

pizza? hrmm perhaps... perhaps.....

omg... i am also allowed to answer questions in this thread? ...uh cuz i kinda did... a little. kinda sorta anyway.

Stiltzy, how come you didn't win a grammy this year?

Was denken sie über dem Deutschish problem?

stiltzy, are you really Enya's lovechild?

If you strapped a buttered slice of bread to the back of a cat, and dropped them off of a building, what would happen?

bernadette:
The University of Pwnology is located in Utah, the place on this Earth that pwns the least...
which is why they intentionally built the college there (ya know, to make it extremely ironic :))

It did indeed take me four years to graduate and become a pwnz0r in practice.

Also, yes, you are allowed to answer any question in this thread! I will still answer all questions though, regardless if someone else has answered it before me :p

bundy:
I did not win a grammy this year because I have given up such childish pursuits since I won my last grammy :)

Astrocloud:
Can you rephrase the question? I was not able to pick any meaning out of that babble.
If it was just that, babble, then my answer is: battle fish :)

bundy:
Thank you for asking two questions.
Yes, I am really Enya's love child. I am her child and she loves me. :crazy:

Fremen:
Buttered toast has a 50/50 chance of landing on either side. However... a cat has almost 100% of landing on its own feet, so the cat would land safely on it's feet and the bread... would lose :)

Who said buttered toast? :p

It's a known fact buttered bread, once dropped, ALWAYS lands buttered side down.
Now, if you strap it buttered side up on the back of a cat and dropped them from a considerable height, the laws of butterology and felineology would try to come into play.
Since we know they're both trying to act within their own respective laws, it's safe to say that the two laws effectively cancel each other out, thereby causing the cat and the bread to hover, or 'float' if you will, in mid-air.

It's the same with jam or jelly.

Any questions? :D

Fremen:
I see that you are well-versed in the sciences of buttered bread, and felineology. If in fact the rules of butterology and felineology are true, then may it also be possible to assume that the fabric of time and space would be torn like a pair of scissors through mud? (that made no sense) I would like to speculate that half of the toast and half of the cat would then be warped into the fifth dimension! :) There, the cat could land on its feet and the toast could lay butter-side-down, while strapped to eachother facing opposite, and co-exist peacefully. Who knew?

It's possible, it's possible.
I guess this dimension fabric-ripping keeps turning the bread into toast, too. :D


Okay, next question:
Is it possible for Saturday Night Live to still be funny?

Fremen:
D'oh! Yes... yes actually it does turn bread into toast. Heh.

It is possible for SNL to be funny on rare occasions when you are feeling sick, and are therefore particularly vulnerable to situations which would not otherwise be humorous. :)

Was ist sien "Battle Fish"?

Astrocloud:
Hai! ::bows::

Nobody wants to ask me questions anymore :(

why do you think that?

bundy:
Because my thread disappeared into the abysses of the Nonsense forum, until I saved it :(

Are boogers salty?

Why are there people like Frank?

Astrocloud:
Yes, boogers are highly salty. They are in fact a rich source of salt :)

monkeydriven:
There are people like Frank because there are Frank like people :D