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Old 05-24-2004, 09:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
Misanthropic
 
Crack's Avatar
 
Location: Ohio! yay!
Jail Rape Calc

http://www.4paddedwalls.com/tests/jailrape.htm

it would take me 42 days to become someones bitch...
I can tell you now, I ain't goin out like that!
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Old 05-24-2004, 09:14 AM   #2 (permalink)
Devoted
 
Redlemon's Avatar
 
Donor
Location: New England
6 days, although I think they are being generous. I'm also worth "4 cartons of cigarettes and 3 porno mags". I'm not sure if that is a good rate or not.
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Old 05-24-2004, 09:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: NJ
My calculator: I make Bubba mine in 7 days.

Their calculator: 27 days till Bubba gets me.
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Old 05-24-2004, 11:17 AM   #4 (permalink)
I aim to misbehave!
 
rockogre's Avatar
 
Location: SW Oklahoma
38 days and I'm only worth 1 carton of cigs. You purty boys are gonna get all the action.

Damn redlemon, you don't even get a full week!
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Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
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Old 05-24-2004, 12:38 PM   #5 (permalink)
.
 
bundy's Avatar
 
Location: Tokyo
w00t

apparently i'd last 14 days until Bubba came looking... somehow i doubt that.
however, i am quite chuffed that i'm worth 3 cartons of cigs and 2 porno mags.
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Old 05-24-2004, 12:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
Fly em straight!
 
water_boy1999's Avatar
 
Location: Above and Beyond
with a purty mouth I got 16 days to become Bubba's biatch!

Without a purty mouth I have a full 33 days.
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Old 05-24-2004, 02:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
Thor
 
micah67's Avatar
 
Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W
3 weeks and I'm toast. If I kill someone first, it buys me an extra 2 months.
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Last edited by micah67; 05-24-2004 at 02:14 PM..
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Old 05-24-2004, 02:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
Misanthropic
 
Crack's Avatar
 
Location: Ohio! yay!
Quote:
Originally posted by micah67
3 weeks and I'm toast. If I kill someone first, it buys me an extra 2 months.
That's the plan!
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Old 05-24-2004, 02:27 PM   #9 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
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It doesn't work for me... just a red x
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Old 05-24-2004, 02:36 PM   #10 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
Giant Hamburger's Avatar
 
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
Hail Inmates!

At 5,000 pounds and a pretty mouth I would last only 55 days.
If my mouth is found to be unattractive I will run the place.

Only time will tell.
-GH
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Old 05-24-2004, 02:37 PM   #11 (permalink)
Is In Love
 
Averett's Avatar
 
Location: I'm workin' on it
I'd be Bubba's bitch in 5 days. I'm worth 4 cartons and 3 prono mags. Awww... aint that sawweeet?
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Old 05-24-2004, 02:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
tecoyah's Avatar
 
32 days....1 carton....guess I better just stay out of trouble.
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Old 05-24-2004, 03:27 PM   #13 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
Fremen's Avatar
 
Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Quote:
"It would take 68 days for you to become Bubbas' bitch!"
I think I'm gonna make Bubba my bitch on day 67.

*slap!* Who's yer daddy, beeyotch!?!
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Google
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Old 05-24-2004, 03:37 PM   #14 (permalink)
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :.
 
bernadette's Avatar
 
Location: this ain't kansas, toto
<b> You shouldn't have any trouble running the jail yard!</b>

that's right. no one fucks with me.

of course... i am 99 inches tall, 400lbs, diesel-like muscle tone, bald with sideburns;
i have 2,000 tatoos all gang/hate related;
i am a gang leader who murders for entertainment pleasure;
and i have a purty fucking potty mouth ya cunty bitches.
let me get my strap on tool. now bend over.
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Old 05-24-2004, 03:59 PM   #15 (permalink)
Junkie
 
How flattering..

It would only take me 7 days to become Bubba's bitch. I'm worth 4 cartons of cigarettes and 3 porno mags.

My tall skinny ass may not get me any on the outside, but I'd be damn sexy in prison.
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Old 05-24-2004, 03:59 PM   #16 (permalink)
Unbelievable
 
cj2112's Avatar
 
Location: Grants Pass OR
19 days and i'm worth 3 cartons and 2 porno mags
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Old 05-24-2004, 04:01 PM   #17 (permalink)
Here
 
World's King's Avatar
 
Location: Denver City Denver
26 days.

And I'm worth 2 cartons of cigarettes and a porno mag.
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Old 05-24-2004, 04:16 PM   #18 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: San Diego, CA.
How horrible... if i answer close to honestly..


"You wouldn't last 5 minutes in jail, BITCH!"

worth a full case of cigarettes and a whole stack of porno mags though
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Old 05-24-2004, 05:57 PM   #19 (permalink)
Junkie
 
cchris's Avatar
 
Location: Sydney
17 days and 3 cartons of smokes.

Only 2 porno mags though
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Old 05-24-2004, 06:18 PM   #20 (permalink)
<3 Peetster
 
Location: Peetster's house.
Five days.Even after gaining a hundred lbs,sporting a mustache and Flashing all of my gang tatoos,I am worth four cartons of smokes and 3 porno mags. go me.
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Old 05-24-2004, 06:30 PM   #21 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
Fly's Avatar
 
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
Quote:
Originally posted by Astrocloud
It doesn't work for me... just a red x

damn....me too

i wanna be a jailhouse bitch too.......


*realizes what he just said,and prepares for the reprocusions*
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BASTARD

SterlingStudios
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Old 05-24-2004, 07:42 PM   #22 (permalink)
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :.
 
bernadette's Avatar
 
Location: this ain't kansas, toto
Quote:
Originally posted by flyman
damn....me too

i wanna be a jailhouse bitch too.......


*realizes what he just said,and prepares for the reprocusions*

i'm betting it wouldn't take 10 minutes before you'd be pwned....
<img src="http://photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/pantyhoseB_hauntingU_4ever.jpg">

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Old 05-24-2004, 07:48 PM   #23 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Where hockey pucks run rampant
11 days. I was figuring on a lot less than that. This gives me enough time to come up with some elaborate escape plan..........that will eventually fail and I still end up Bubba's bitch.
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Old 05-24-2004, 09:36 PM   #24 (permalink)
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
 
Speed_Gibson's Avatar
 
Location: right here of course
entered my measurements which for the purpose of this were:
-> 7'5"
-> 520 lbs - Diesel
-> bald with a beard (that part is true)
-> gang affilations and have murdered someone
-> no purty mouth

............."You shouldn't have any trouble running the jail yard!"

much more accurate info said 15 days

take 2 on the other extreme:
-> 5'1"
-> 105 lbs - thin
-> hair long above shoulders
-> no facial hair
-> 0 tats
-> no gang ties or murders with a purdy mouth
gave me 3 days

using '17 tats - all hate and gang related' rather than 0 tats bumped to 71 days.
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Started talking to yourself I see.
Yes, it's the only way I can be certain of an intelligent conversation.

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Old 05-24-2004, 09:44 PM   #25 (permalink)
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
 
Speed_Gibson's Avatar
 
Location: right here of course
on a semi-related note, took the 'Slut Test' linked on that page using completely random info picked to attempt to achieve 'optimal' results.
-> age now: 37
-> lost virginity: 13
-> # of people you have slept with: 552
'On a scale of 1 to 10 you are:
The f*cking sluttiest person alive!'
edit:
clicked this link for the 'offensive jokes' and the Misc. Offensive Jokes had me 'laughing out loud'. A good portion of the ethnic based jokes weighed much heavier on the offensive side rather than funny.
__________________
Started talking to yourself I see.
Yes, it's the only way I can be certain of an intelligent conversation.

Black Adder

Last edited by Speed_Gibson; 05-24-2004 at 09:52 PM..
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Old 05-24-2004, 10:36 PM   #26 (permalink)
Loser
 
Counting my tattoo equivalents, all else being accurate, "You shouldn't have any trouble running the jail yard."
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Old 05-24-2004, 11:15 PM   #27 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Oh God, the rain!
It sez that I wont last 5 minutes in Jail. All I'm worth is a case of cigarettes and a stack of porno mags.
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Old 05-25-2004, 01:05 PM   #28 (permalink)
Banned
 
7 days.

4 cartons of cig's and 3 pornos.
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Old 05-25-2004, 02:48 PM   #29 (permalink)
Insane
 
5 days...
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