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Old 05-29-2004, 10:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
Loser
 
Stolen Lawn Gnome says...

Howdy.

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Old 05-29-2004, 10:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Chicago
My stolen lawn flamingo says hi too.
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Old 05-29-2004, 11:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
His souless eyes freeze my innards.
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Old 05-29-2004, 11:12 PM   #4 (permalink)
Loser
 
Why do you think we had to pull him off the streets? He was draining the souls of innocent bystanders, and carries them in his brown napsack.
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Old 05-29-2004, 11:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :.
 
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Location: this ain't kansas, toto
stealing is wrong.
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Old 05-29-2004, 11:27 PM   #6 (permalink)
Loser
 
I didn't steal him, former suitemate with the penis shaved in his back hair stole him. I am merely acquiring hot goods.
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Old 05-29-2004, 11:29 PM   #7 (permalink)
.
 
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Location: Tokyo
Quote:
Originally quoted be Bernie
stealing is wrong.
but drunken stealing is hilarious!




i know a guy who is a klepto drunk, every saturday night for an entire month he'd be down the Oaks (for those who know Sydney), and without fail he'd suddenly grab a bar stool and sprint out the door.

now theres nothing funnier than watching some pissed idiot loping down the road with a bar stool under his arm, and three BIG maori bouncers chasing after him.
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Last edited by bundy; 05-29-2004 at 11:31 PM..
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Old 05-29-2004, 11:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
I always wanted to steal a shopping cart as a kid and ride down the long hill in my old neighborhood.
Closest I came to that was a Radio Flyer red wagon.
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Old 05-29-2004, 11:41 PM   #9 (permalink)
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :.
 
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Location: this ain't kansas, toto
<img src="http://photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/gaylandscaper.gif" width="200">
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Old 05-29-2004, 11:42 PM   #10 (permalink)
Loser
 
What. The. Fuck.
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Old 05-29-2004, 11:50 PM   #11 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
The lawn mowing queen!
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Old 05-29-2004, 11:50 PM   #12 (permalink)
.
 
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Location: Tokyo
Quote:
Originally posted by bernadette
<img src="http://photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/gaylandscaper.gif" width="200">
now that is the single funniest thing i've seen on this entire board.
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Old 05-30-2004, 07:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
Lost
 
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Location: Florida
Stealing leads to the dark side!
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Old 05-30-2004, 07:49 PM   #14 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Chicago
the dark side leads to anger and fear
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Old 05-30-2004, 10:26 PM   #15 (permalink)
.
 
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Location: Tokyo
anger and fear leads to drug and alcohol abuse.
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Old 05-30-2004, 10:30 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Location: Chicago
alcohol abuse leads to empty pockets
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Old 05-30-2004, 11:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
Loser
 
My gnome will steal all the money from your pockets. You have to be careful with them, you know, small hands.
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Old 05-30-2004, 11:29 PM   #18 (permalink)
She's Actual Size
 
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Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
That's just....creepy.
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Old 05-30-2004, 11:50 PM   #19 (permalink)
Loser
 
Shhhhh

If he hears you, you may be next...
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Old 05-30-2004, 11:53 PM   #20 (permalink)
She's Actual Size
 
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Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
What I MEANT to say was, oh, what a handsome little gnome. I'll make him some popcorn. *nods emphatically*
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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
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Old 05-31-2004, 12:24 AM   #21 (permalink)
Loser
 
He says "Thats better." Don't ever let those chubby little legs and bulbous brown shoes give you a false sense of security. He's deceptively quick.
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Old 05-31-2004, 01:39 AM   #22 (permalink)
The Death Card
 
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Location: EH!?!?
Hail Sgt. Gravy Pants
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Old 05-31-2004, 01:58 AM   #23 (permalink)
Loser
 
No gravy!
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Old 05-31-2004, 12:01 PM   #24 (permalink)
:::OshnSoul:::
Guest
 
lawn gnomes= dorky.

stolen lawn gnomes= cool.
 
Old 06-01-2004, 11:27 AM   #25 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
SaltPork's Avatar
 
Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
Looks like he'd chew through your chest to get to the soft fleshy meat of your still beating heart. Only instead of eating it all at once he would work feverishly to keep you alive while he stripped off one tasty layer after another to feed his bloodlust.

Or maybe he's just saying "hi". I'm sure it's the former though.
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Old 06-01-2004, 06:12 PM   #26 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
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Someone stole this guys lawn gnome and then traveled around the world with it -sending pictures back to the original owner from time to time. Garden Gnome at the Pyramids or near the Eifel Tower.
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Old 06-01-2004, 06:36 PM   #27 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Chicago
I think WarWagon might be one of my favorite people on this forum. His gnome is quite the character.
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Old 06-02-2004, 11:51 AM   #28 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
We had a garden gnome that lived under a bush in our backyard... One day as my son was charging around the backyard with a metal bucket on his head. Sadly, when he inevitably tripped the garden gnome was broken...

He lay for a time, in peices beneath the bush he loved so. One morning the shards that we called The Gnome, were gone.

I like to believe that the garden fairies took it upon themselves to whisk him off to Avalon (that's so much more romantic than the dustbin reality).
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Old 06-02-2004, 12:51 PM   #29 (permalink)
Junkie
 
fhqwhgads's Avatar
 
I can't find my car keys, can someone check his sack?

And if they're not there, someone check that brown bag he's carrying...
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