Sleepyjack

If your stools are soft and pass easily, you are not constipated

Sion

have you heard the new pickup line at gay bars?

"Can I push your stool in?"

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He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

Mephex

If you own a fleshlight, make sure to clean it out after every use.

You do NOT want week old funk dripping on your hands when you go to use it again.

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He who is void of virtuous attachments in private life is, or very soon will be, void of all regard for his country.
There is seldom an instance of a man guilty of betraying his country, who had not before lost the feeling of moral obligations in his private connections.
-Samuel Adams

pig

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but nothing beats hooking up with your sister's best friend.

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You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

Munku

I prefer it more when my poo is a tad hard and doesn't leave anything to whipe.

fernweh

Now the thing to remember when you have food poisoning is that if you have diarrhea AND need to vomit, but you only have one toilet, then it becomes a matter of which you want to clean up less. And let me tell you, vomit may be no fun to clean up, but liquid shit is fucking HOT LAVA, okay? It will just destroy whatever the hell it touches.

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f-e-r-n-w-e-h is actually a gross misspelling of the name "gregory"

WarWagon

If you throw up in the middle of a public place, its best to just play it off casually as though it never happened, particularly if people are staring.

bundy

thats pretty hard to do when your seriously drunk, and your on a bus.
if only i'd thought to just deny that it was me, and blame that old lady sitting in front of me. then i wouldn't have had to walk home in the rain.

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Ohayo!!!

Fly

i not only would like to give her a tip,.........but the whole thing

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Blackthorn

How do you feel about naked women showing up on the beach?

I'm for it of course!

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What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?