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Old 10-29-2004, 03:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
K-Wise's Avatar
 
Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
See I thought I had an epiphany a while back....

See I'm a big fan of Quick Pouches. Thats a generic brand of food pouches similar to that of "Hot Pockets" except not revulting to the taste like Hot Pockets are these days. I know what you're thinking but I had a Pepperoni Hot Pocket not too long ago thinking "Oh what have I been missing?!" and upon taking the first bite nearly gagged. And struggled to finish it after that. It was absolutely disgusting. Tasted nothing even remotely close to that of pepperoni and cheese. Had some weird orange sauce in it. Well thats neither here nor there thus my love of Quick Pouches who still have that good ol classic taste without all the humfoolery of adding extra ingredients in an attempt to enhance the flavor of pepperoni and cheese or my personal favorite "Meatballs and Mozzarella" So on to the epiphany I <b>thought</b> I had....See the instructions say slip into microwavable sleeve(which I always do) and microwave on high for 2 minutes and 15 sec. Then let stand for 1 min. The only problem with this is that putting it in for 2 minutes and 15 sec. produces nothing but warm, soggy pouch bread and a cold partially frozen inside. Not very appetizing. So I usually just hit the frozen pizza button on my microwave which microwaves them for approximately 3 min and 10 sec. but still the very middle of the inner goodness is still somewhat cold and not melted. This vexes me so so I think perhaps if I stab holes into the pastry with a knife on both sides(My supposed epiphany) and maybe this will somehow ventilate the heat inward to the very core of the tastey goodness inside and heat it properly. That failed. So as a result I always heat them the 3 min. and 10 sec. then take them out, cut them into halfs, and stick them back in with the insides facing the lamp for another minute. This produces a warm inside but it's fucking time consuming as all hell! I was wondering if any of you have had similar troubles with your pizza pouches and if you have discovered any techniques to preparing them that have proven successful. I have contimplated using the oven to heat them but thats equally a chore in and of itself as I have to wait for the oven to pre-heat before hand which is also very time consuming. Any comments that dare to say "Why don't you just eat real food?" will be ignored entirely. Thank you.

Asta!!
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Last edited by K-Wise; 10-29-2004 at 03:04 PM..
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Old 10-29-2004, 05:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Portland, Oregon
It's all in the sleeves. If you wanna skimp on ease and convenience for a little extra 'taste' then go right ahead. But while you've still got 3 minutes,10 seconds to go before biting into your tender 'pouch', I'll be mopping the delicious orange goo from my mouth and belching out Cokeburps. Hell, I'll still have time to throw in a second Hot Pocket before yours is done cooking.

(2 other quick thoughts: first off, the pepperoni Hot Pockets are kinda nasty. I only eat the Ham and Cheese. Second: maybe your microwave is getting old and ineffective? If I cook my tender, delicious 'pocket' treat more than 2:00 then I'm assuredly going to burn my freakin' tongue off. I hate that)
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Old 10-29-2004, 06:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Old 10-30-2004, 01:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by macsmith230
It's all in the sleeves. If you wanna skimp on ease and convenience for a little extra 'taste' then go right ahead. But while you've still got 3 minutes,10 seconds to go before biting into your tender 'pouch', I'll be mopping the delicious orange goo from my mouth and belching out Cokeburps. Hell, I'll still have time to throw in a second Hot Pocket before yours is done cooking.

(2 other quick thoughts: first off, the pepperoni Hot Pockets are kinda nasty. I only eat the Ham and Cheese. Second: maybe your microwave is getting old and ineffective? If I cook my tender, delicious 'pocket' treat more than 2:00 then I'm assuredly going to burn my freakin' tongue off. I hate that)
See I'm thinking perhaps it could be my microwave oven as well because I remember the same in the past about nearly singeing my tounge off if I heated them the appropriate time let alone longer than that. I think I'll probably still like the Ham & Cheeze Hot Pockets. It's hard to fuck up Ham & Cheese but the pepperoni's really were revulting. Especially the 3 cheese ones. I think perhaps it could be the sleeves as well that make the process faster I'll have to compare the 2. Maybe even perhaps my freezer is slightly colder than the required preservational temperature for keeping the contents of my Quick Pouches from spoiling. Considering I nearly puked last time I consumed a pepperoni Hot Pocket I will willingly skimp on ease and convienence (as well as more money) for taste. This time I decided to use the oven and then I read "Bake for 20 to 22 minutes" and I thought to myself "SON OF A BITCH!" Because that is a long time to wait for crisp flaky crust and the yummy gooey goodness contained within it. When I bite into it though it seems almost worth it. None the less regardless of whatever elements come together to form my predicament it is existent none the less. Hopefully I will find a way to combat this threat head on. If not patience is a virtue and perhaps I gain more than I allow myself to believe from these experiances.

Asta!!
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Last edited by K-Wise; 10-30-2004 at 01:39 PM..
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Old 10-30-2004, 11:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
It's a science, I tell ya, it's a science.

Good luck to you in your studies, I've finally reached Hot Pocket perfection in my own microwave, it's 1 minute, 49 seconds for best results. If I make a second one it's 1 minute, 30 seconds because the microwave's still warm from the first one.
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Old 10-31-2004, 12:08 PM   #6 (permalink)
lonely rolling star
 
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Location: Seattle.
The orange shit...
it's grease.

Fuckin disgusting. I like those canadian pilsbury pizza calzones things. But I live in Seattle, and don't visit there often.

HEY CANADIANS! SEND BE SOME PILSBURY PIZZA CALZONES!
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Old 10-31-2004, 01:51 PM   #7 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
^ Hey those sound good. Dammit

Asta!!
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Old 10-31-2004, 04:42 PM   #8 (permalink)
lascivious
 
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Well why not just keep the ones you are going to eat soon in the fridge instead of the freezer so you wont be trying to cook chunks of ice? Otherwise 5 minutes sounds about right for a frozen food.
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Old 10-31-2004, 09:33 PM   #9 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
^ Holy crap thats a damn good idea there friend!

Asta!!
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Old 11-01-2004, 02:01 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Wise
...then take them out, cut them into halfs, and stick them back in with the insides facing the lamp for another minute. This produces a warm inside but it's fucking time consuming as all hell!
Asta!!

Lamp?
Maybe your problem is that you are usig an Easy-Bake oven?
http://www.hasbro.com/easybake/pl/pa...dn/default.cfm
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Old 11-01-2004, 02:25 PM   #11 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
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Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
Well not literally a lamp! But the top right corner where heat mechanism is located at .

Asta!!
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Old 11-01-2004, 03:11 PM   #12 (permalink)
Minion of the scalÚd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
Are you sure that 2 minutes 15 seconds is not the cooking time for just 1? I know hot pockets say on the from "Ready in just two minutes" but on the back you find out that if you want both of them, then you have to cook 'em for 3 1/2 minutes, or you get cold pockets in your hot pockets.

As for hot pockets, they are the stuff of life. However, all their pizza flavors are grotesque, as is the Jalepeno Cheese steak.
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Old 11-01-2004, 05:45 PM   #13 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
K-Wise's Avatar
 
Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
^ Finally someone in agreement about the pizza flavors. I haven't had a chance to try the other flavors recently. I remember the ham & cheese being great. Also for a little bit more dough, Red Baron pizza pouches are quite tasty indeed. Perhaps it is the cooking time for just one. Although I remember Hot Pockets being around the same and they do cook in the given time. I'll try 3 & 1/2 min next time.

Asta!!
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Old 11-01-2004, 09:40 PM   #14 (permalink)
lonely rolling star
 
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Location: Seattle.
Oh man. I'm SOO gonna ask for an easy bake oven for xmas, and then go a whole week eating only stuff made in it. And then I'll make a nice little blog about it, and you all can comment and tell me how gross it is, and I can be like "oh yeah? it's my life choice, and you're not my real mom!". and then it can be like *ankward silence* and you'd be all like dude, why are you still writing in this entry?
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Old 11-01-2004, 09:48 PM   #15 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sadistikdreams
Oh man. I'm SOO gonna ask for an easy bake oven for xmas, and then go a whole week eating only stuff made in it. And then I'll make a nice little blog about it, and you all can comment and tell me how gross it is, and I can be like "oh yeah? it's my life choice, and you're not my real mom!". and then it can be like *ankward silence* and you'd be all like dude, why are you still writing in this entry?
I feel empty now...all purpose ripped from me. I was going to do that...now my idea has been pilfered, though inadvertantly, and I must find some other task with which to fill my empty days....saditiskdreams, indeed.
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