Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Tilted Fun Zone


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-07-2005, 12:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Giant Hamburger's deepest, darkest secret (and no it isn't his sauce)

Attention Citizens!!!

It has recently come to my attention that a member of the TFP...
one Giant Hamburger is hiding something. Many at TFP believe
Giant Hamburger to be a funny if somewhat odd addition to
our online communtiy. We laugh at his drawings and clever posts.

The truth is more than any one of us can bear alone...

Giant Hamburger has been roaming this earth for centuries, slaking his
insurmountable thirst on the blood of the innocent.

Giant Hamburger is none other than Vlad the Impaler!!!!!


THE EVIDENCE

Giant Hamburger...



Vlad the Impaler...


For those who do not know, Vlad the Impaler is often cited
as the real life inspiration for Bram Stoker's Count Dracula...


While the physical similarity is uncanny and should be enough
to convince even the most skeptical of the TFP... There is more!

The mighty Giant Hamburger appears to be taunting us in this thread
when he posted this picture in answer to the question,
"Who is YOUR celebrity look-a-like?"



Can there be any question that we have an immortal among us?


Please move this post to Paranoia if you feel it is more appropriate.
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 02-07-2005, 12:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
Devoted
 
Redlemon's Avatar
 
Donor
Location: New England
*la la la I can't hear you*

I must support GH, and hereby dedicate this song excerpt to him in tribute:
Quote:
Oh!
I like big things
The size of them impresses me
Just give me plenty
Forget about the quality
And I like fast food
The burgers always taste the same
No snotty waiters,
Escargot or beaujolais

Turn me on
Turn me up
Turn me loose
Turn it loud
All the way
__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 02-07-2005, 01:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Redlemon... be careful... if you notice yourself with an urge eat insects or moan like Tom Waits...

Get help.
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 02-07-2005, 03:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
Giant Hamburger's Avatar
 
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
Hail Charlatan!

You talk too much.
I would like to cordially extend an invitation to you and your family to come visit me in my remote castle.
You need not pack as everything you need will be provided.
I will send my Carriage over this evening.
Do not speak to the driver.

Sincerely,
-GH
Giant Hamburger is offline  
Old 02-07-2005, 04:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Chicago
But the photograph is taken in broad daylight.

He must be very, very powerful to be able to withstand the devastating effects of sunlight.

Charlatan, I'd drop this subject if I were you. Speak no more his name. If he can withstand daylight, he can withstand anything.

In fact, I'm somewhat wary of associating myself with this thread.
__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
JumpinJesus is offline  
Old 02-07-2005, 04:57 PM   #6 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
I've been doing battle against GH for centuries. I found out the hard way. If you can't beat them join them.

Do NOT click on this Link
Astrocloud is offline  
Old 02-07-2005, 05:44 PM   #7 (permalink)
Devoted
 
Redlemon's Avatar
 
Donor
Location: New England
*pouts*

GH didn't appreciate my tribute song.
__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 02-07-2005, 06:32 PM   #8 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
Giant Hamburger's Avatar
 
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
I will reward you Redlemon.
Your loyalty is not taken lightly.
Come, let us embrace.
Giant Hamburger is offline  
Old 02-07-2005, 06:44 PM   #9 (permalink)
My custom title's the shit!
 
Zephyr66's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
I thought everyone already knew about the GH/Vlad thing, i guess i just clued in a long time ago.
Zephyr66 is offline  
Old 02-07-2005, 07:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
Fly's Avatar
 
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
in regards to the Q at hand........and this is from a very reliable source.......GH,the entity we all love and adore,......is fond of the shallot........i know,i know....little in size but huge on taste.

he admires the tiny shallot as if it were his own kin.

the man is loyal..........he must be aspired to.

the shallot is a good thing GH.........run with it my friend......run with it.
__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios
Fly is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 05:41 AM   #11 (permalink)
Shackle Me Not
 
jwoody's Avatar
 
Location: Newcastle - England.
Our favourite burgernaut has powerful allies.

jwoody is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 06:17 AM   #12 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Dear Giant "Vlad" Hamburger

I am afraid that my family and I will not be able to answer your kind summons to join you. In the words of Luke Skywalker, "I'll never join you!"

Fearing the worst, I bundled my family into the car last night and moved them to a new location. You will not find us. And if you do, we are prepared. We have been watching episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and we know our stuff.

From the posts above, I see that the situation is worse than I thought. It seems that many of the TFP are already held in thrall or living in fear of reprisal and that your power reaches even to the heart of the U.N.

I fear that soon no place will truly be safe.

Sincerely,

Charlatan
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 07:40 AM   #13 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
Giant Hamburger's Avatar
 
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
Goodman Charlatan,

I have replaced all of your garlic with shallots.
Now I really must get back to my morning briefings.
We'll keep in touch.
-GH
Giant Hamburger is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 08:04 AM   #14 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
You missed some...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 09:42 AM   #15 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyman
in regards to the Q at hand........and this is from a very reliable source.......GH,the entity we all love and adore,......is fond of the shallot........i know,i know....little in size but huge on taste.

he admires the tiny shallot as if it were his own kin.

the man is loyal..........he must be aspired to.

the shallot is a good thing GH.........run with it my friend......run with it.
This Shallot? Notice the size of his moustache...


Notice the size of his moustache....



This is not right. Something is dangerously wrong here.
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Last edited by Charlatan; 03-12-2008 at 02:34 AM..
Charlatan is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 08:31 PM   #16 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
SaltPork's Avatar
 
Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
Maybe you've been wrong all along, Charlatan! Perhaps Gene Shallot is Vlad the Impaler, aka Dracula! GH was merely a pawn in Vlad's master plan! Egads!! I shall forever mourn the loss of GH as we knew him. His blood tainted now with the blood of a thousand undead souls. Will his name change now to Giant Tartare?
__________________
It was like that when I got here....I swear.
SaltPork is offline  
Old 02-09-2005, 12:19 AM   #17 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
Fremen's Avatar
 
Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
I confess I was impregnated by GH's horde of spaceburger seeds while traveling one night along the backroads of E. Texas.
I'm a little bit ashamed, but I no longer have free will where my body is concerned.
They have seized all but the furthermost corner of my existence which only allows me free rein up to a point. This is what I've opted to do with my freedom.
I need to warn you, my friends, that GH is coming!!

I am about to give birth to 45 juicy little burglets that will reinforce His Majesty's all-conquering army.....


....bye.....
__________________
Google
Fremen is offline  
Old 02-09-2005, 07:41 AM   #18 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
Giant Hamburger's Avatar
 
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
A view from Fremen's "birth canal" in orbit...
Giant Hamburger is offline  
Old 02-09-2005, 12:57 PM   #19 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Attention Citizens!

Thank you to those who have forwarded messages
wishing me and my family well.

Last night as I was tucking the little Charlatans into bed
I heard a scratching sound at the door. The dastardly shallots have
been once more replaced with garlic and seem to be doing their job.

Nonetheless I spent the night guarding the door with a crossbow
in one hand and bar-b-que tongs in the other. I don't know if
I can handle another sleepless night. Running by day and
guarding by night.

Will there ever be an end to this madness?

Yours from the Underground

Charlatan
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 02-09-2005, 10:19 PM   #20 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Stiltzkin's Avatar
 
So when are we having a cookout at GH's castle?
__________________
The most important thing in this world is love.
Stiltzkin is offline  
Old 02-10-2005, 04:43 AM   #21 (permalink)
through charlatans phone
 
paddyjoe's Avatar
 
Location: Northcoast
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fremen
I confess I was impregnated by GH's horde of spaceburger seeds while traveling one night along the backroads of E. Texas.
Wow...certainly gives new meaning to the 'In-n-Out' burger.
paddyjoe is offline  
Old 02-10-2005, 11:30 AM   #22 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
Here is his Non-Corporeal form floating in the Ether:

Astrocloud is offline  
Old 02-10-2005, 04:42 PM   #23 (permalink)
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :.
 
bernadette's Avatar
 
Location: this ain't kansas, toto
BEWARE:
the almighty catsup is quietly watching, listening & making notes...
<img src="http://www.catsupbottle.com/images/catsupinthecloudsthumb.jpg">
__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
bernadette is offline  
Old 02-10-2005, 07:45 PM   #24 (permalink)
Minion of the scalÚd ones
 
Tophat665's Avatar
 
Location: Northeast Jesusland
It occurs to me that the very best hamburger, present company excluded of course is ground steak. Surely ground would be the preferred way for the legion of the undead to take their stake. Circumstantial, but men have hung for less.

<i>He lives beyond the grace of god, a wanderer in the outer darkness. He is undead, wampyr, nosferatu. These do not die like the bee after the first sting, but grow strong once infected by the blood of another nosferatu.</i>
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Tophat665 is offline  
Old 02-10-2005, 07:57 PM   #25 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
Fly's Avatar
 
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tophat665

<i>He lives beyond the grace of god, a wanderer in the outer darkness. He is undead, wampyr, nosferatu. These do not die like the bee after the first sting, but grow strong once infected by the blood of another nosferatu.</i>

nice.............i'm likin' this Top..........


ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GH................


....and have i told you lately GH........you have nice buns my friend..........
__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios
Fly is offline  
Old 02-11-2005, 12:56 AM   #26 (permalink)
Femme Fatale
 
Nancy's Avatar
 
Location: Elysium
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
From the posts above, I see that the situation is worse than I thought. It seems that many of the TFP are already held in thrall or living in fear of reprisal and that your power reaches even to the heart of the U.N.
I see Coppertop had already given in to GH by using the Vlad picture as an avatar:


Mighty GH!
Should I choose to join the Galactin Burger Force what benefits may that include?
__________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.
Nancy is offline  
Old 02-11-2005, 01:29 PM   #27 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
Giant Hamburger's Avatar
 
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nancy
Mighty GH!
Should I choose to join the Galactin Burger Force what benefits may that include?
I will cover you in the finest wasp-waisted, jewel-encrusted poodle dogs that money could buy. I'll show you things you won't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. We could watch C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. Sadly, all those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain.
Giant Hamburger is offline  
Old 02-11-2005, 03:31 PM   #28 (permalink)
Minion of the scalÚd ones
 
Tophat665's Avatar
 
Location: Northeast Jesusland
Don't listen to him, Nancy! He says that to all the girls, and the occasional cow. It's a ploy, a device, a strategem to get you into his pale, clammy clutches. Once there, oh the horrors that await. One might expect a nightstalker and daywalker such as GH to enslave you with his own blood, or merely to sip you like a fine wine, discarding your well perforated , yet still strangely compelling carcass thereafter, but GH is a truely diabolical specimin. Rest assured, within hours of succumbing, you will begin to sprout thick dark brown hairs all over that beautiful derrier, and within days, you will certainly make a post on the f**K thread nearly indistinguishable for one of flyman's.

Capisce?

So don't do it, sweet lady. It's your ass.
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Tophat665 is offline  
Old 02-11-2005, 07:58 PM   #29 (permalink)
My custom title's the shit!
 
Zephyr66's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by Giant Hamburger
I will cover you in the finest wasp-waisted, jewel-encrusted poodle dogs that money could buy. I'll show you things you won't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. We could watch C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. Sadly, all those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain.
Screw nancy, sounds like what you need is a sidekick, I gladly offer my services.
Zephyr66 is offline  
Old 02-12-2005, 04:12 AM   #30 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
K-Wise's Avatar
 
Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
I saw his pic over in portraits one time and thought he resembled Ian from Jethro Tull but eh maybe thats just me.



Eh...yeah.

Asta!!
__________________
"I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project

It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys! - Asta!!
K-Wise is offline  
Old 02-12-2005, 05:24 AM   #31 (permalink)
Minion of the scalÚd ones
 
Tophat665's Avatar
 
Location: Northeast Jesusland
Now that depends on the picture. Sometimes, Ian Anderson looks more like flyman:
<img src="http://www.speaker-mag.de/photo/Ian_Anderson_of_Jethro_Tull/Ian_Anderson_7_02_9.jpg">

and sometimes he looks more like Art (but with less hair):
<img src="http://tulsatvmemories.com/imag2002/ian.jpg">

maybe you're right, though
<img src="http://mitkadem3.homestead.com/files/Ian_Anderson_Flute_Thing.jpg">

A man of many faces, is Ian. I saw one where he looked surprisingly like StrangeFamous.
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Tophat665 is offline  
Old 02-12-2005, 05:43 AM   #32 (permalink)
Beware the Mad Irish
 
Blackthorn's Avatar
 
Location: Wish I was on the N17...
All hail the mighty holy grail of Burgerdom!!!! But you are still second in my life only to the constant craving for PIZZA!
__________________
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?
Blackthorn is offline  
Old 02-12-2005, 03:24 PM   #33 (permalink)
It's All About The Ass!!
 
K-Wise's Avatar
 
Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!
I think you may be right Tophat. No wait...I know yer right (intense stare and silence that speaks in more volumes than a thousand words ever could)

Asta!!
__________________
"I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project

It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys! - Asta!!
K-Wise is offline  
Old 02-15-2005, 04:16 PM   #34 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
Help Me! I'm being swarmed by Pteradactyls!
Astrocloud is offline  
Old 02-16-2005, 03:01 PM   #35 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
The Horror


The Horror
Astrocloud is offline  
Old 02-16-2005, 03:42 PM   #36 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
Giant Hamburger's Avatar
 
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
I could use a good swarm of Pteradactyls.
Do not feed them overmuch as they get gassy.
Giant Hamburger is offline  
Old 02-20-2005, 12:49 PM   #37 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
How the Hamburger got it's Bun

Step One: Pick the meat

Astrocloud is offline  
Old 02-20-2005, 12:55 PM   #38 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
step two: Cook it up

Astrocloud is offline  
Old 02-20-2005, 12:56 PM   #39 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
Astrocloud's Avatar
 
Step three: World Conquest.

Astrocloud is offline  
Old 02-21-2005, 10:40 AM   #40 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
 

Tags
darkest, deepest, giant, hamburger, sauce, secret

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:16 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2023, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360