guthmund

Joe was a bus driver. He had a rather long route, but it was mostly retirees and the like, so, he didn't mind all that much.

One particularly long afternoon as Joe was feeling all of his 45 years, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Would you like some peanuts?" the old woman asked him holding out a handful of perfectly whole peanuts in her hand.

"Well, " Joe said "I think that'd be alright." Joe had missed breakfast that morning and hadn't been able to stop for lunch. The peanuts were welcome bit of snackage to keep him going during this particularly long afternoon.

A few minutes later he felt another tap on his shoulder. "Would you like some more peanuts?" the little old lady asked holding out another handful of perfectly shaped peanuts.

"Yeah," Joe said "why the heck not?" And he took the second handful of nuts from the old woman and scooped them into his mouth.

Two stops later, he felt another tap on his shoulder. "Say," the old woman asked "you wouldn't care for some more peanuts would you?"

"Ma'am" Joe said "I have to say that this has been one of the nicest afternoon I've had in a long time. I missed breakfast this morning and I haven't been able to stop for lunch yet. Thanks a bunch." He shoveled the third batch into his gaping maw.

"If you don't mind me asking," Joe turned a bit in his seat to catch the old lady's eye "where are you getting these peanuts?"

"There's a feller back here selling them." The old lady replied.

Well, good enough Joe thought to himself as he munched happily away on his delightfully salty peanuts.

A few minutes later the old lady returned with yet another handful of peanuts.

"Ma'am" Joe said "I love the peanuts, I surely do, but I can't have you buying anymore peanuts for me from that fellow in the back."

"Oh," the little old lady replied "It's no trouble we just figured throwing away a bit of perfectly good peanuts was a bit of waste. I mean, they're perfectly good peanuts....we just sucked all the chocolate off them is all."

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Brewmaniac

eeeew gross!

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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

nukeu666

what am i missing here?
were they really just peanuts with chocolate on them?

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Why did the Comp. Engineer get X-mas and Halloween mixed up?
Because Oct(31) == Dec(25)

Daniel_

The old lady bought chocolate peanuts, sucked the chocolate off them and then gave them away.

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

SirLance

Unexpected! Poor Joe. Maybe he'd like some raisins...

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

politicophile

Peanut M&M's, I imagine.

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The peculiar evil of silencing the expression of an opinion is, that it is robbing the human race; posterity as well as the existing generation; those who dissent from the opinion, still more than those who hold it. If the opinion is right, they are deprived of the opportunity of exchanging error for truth: if wrong, they lose, what is almost as great a benefit, the clearer perception and livelier impression of truth, produced by its collision with error. ~John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

itch vaccine

...

!!!

i like peanuts
i like chocolates
but i dont like chocolate peanuts without chocolates.

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"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein