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Old 02-15-2006, 04:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Those seven little words

I ran across this today. God, George Carlin just kills me...

Quote:
Originally Posted by George Carlin
"I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I uh, I think is important. I love..as I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. Words are all we have really.

We have thoughts, but thoughts are fluid. You know, [humming]. And, then we assign a word to a thought, [clicks tongue]. And we're stuck with that word for that thought. So be careful with words. I like to think, yeah, the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them.

There are some people that aren't into all the words. There are some people who would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven of them that you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to seven. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous, to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you seven. Bad words. That's what they told us they were, remember? 'That's a bad word.' 'Awwww.' There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad Intentions.

And words, you know the seven don't you? Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war.

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, wow. Tits doesn't even belong on the list, you know. It's such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. 'Hey, Tits, come here. Tits, meet Toots, Toots, Tits, Tits, Toots.' It sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don't mean the sexist snack, I mean, New Nabisco Tits. The new Cheese Tits, and Corn Tits and Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits Onion Tits, Tater Tits, Yeah. Betcha can't eat just one. That's true I usually switch off . But I mean that word does not belong on the list.

Actually, none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I am not completely insensitive to people's feelings. You know, I can dig why some of those words got on the list...like cocksucker and motherfucker. Those are...those are heavy-weight words. There's a lot going on there, man. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. They're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those K's. Those are aggressive sounds, they jump out at you. CocksuckerMotherfuckerCocksucker. It's like an assault, on you. So I can dig that.

And we mentioned shit earlier, of course. Two of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. But forget about that. A little accidental humor there. Piss and Cunt. The reason Piss and Cunt are on the list is that a long time ago certain ladies said 'Those are the two I am not going to say. I don't mind Fuck and Shit, but P and C are out. P and C are out.' Which led to such stupid sentences as 'OK, you fuckers, I am going to tinkle now.'

And of course the word Fuck. The word Fuck, I don't really...well, this is some more accidental humor, but I don't really want to get into that now. Because I think it takes too long. But I do mean that. I mean, I think the word fuck is an important word. It's the beginning of life, and, yet it's a word we use to hurt one other, quite often. And uh, people much wiser than I have said, I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one other. And I of course agree. I wish I know who said it first, and I agree with that. But I would like to take it a step further. I would like to substitute the word fuck, for the word kill in all those movie cliches we grew up with. 'Okay Sheriff, we're gonna fuck ya now. But we're gonna fuck ya slow.' So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' rap on that word. I hope so.

Uh, there are two-way words, but those are the seven you can never say on television. Under any circumstances you just can not say them ever, ever ever, not even clinically. You can not weave them in the panel with Doc and Ed and Johnny, I mean it's just impossible, forget those seven, they're out.

But, there are some two-way words. There are double-meaning words. Remember the ones your giggled at in sixth grade? 'And the cock crowed three times.''Hey, the cock the cock crowed three times. It's in the bible.' There are some Two-way words, like it's okay for Curt Gowdy to say 'Roberto Clemente has two balls on him.' But he can't say, 'I think he hurt his balls on that play Tony, don't you? He's holding them. He must have hurt them by God.' And the other two-way word that goes with that one is prick. It's okay if it happens to your finger. Yes, you can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick. No, no."
Oh, man, nobody does it like George...
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Old 02-22-2006, 12:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
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thnaks for bringing that back....
older than a lot of TFPers i imagine.
and still pretty motherfuckin' funny,
you ol' cocksucker, you.

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Old 02-22-2006, 05:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I haven't seen this in years.... gotta love george carlin... though his stuff routine is still my favorite...

i'm not sure if it's sad or good how far we've come as a society that some of those words are now so incredibly common... though piss and tits are still incredibly crass to me... Fuck bothers me less than the other two words do...
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Old 02-22-2006, 06:27 AM   #4 (permalink)
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In college I had this on the flip side of a Violent Femes pirate. I'll always associate the 7 words with "Blister In The Sun" done live.

I still love "All right you fuckers, I'm going to tinkle now". That gets me ever time....
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Old 02-22-2006, 05:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks for bringing back the memories! How bout the Hippy dippy weatherman.
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Old 02-23-2006, 02:41 AM   #6 (permalink)
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My mom has this on VHS. Still cracks me up.

Yes, I grew up watching/listening to Carlin (lucky me). Let's just say I was an enlightened child.
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Old 02-23-2006, 09:17 AM   #7 (permalink)
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My dad showed this to me when I was no more than 10.. I've thought it was awesome ever since.. Carlin's always had an awesome way of pointing out how fuckin ridiculous some people about shit like this..
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Old 02-25-2006, 11:02 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I saw an HBO special with him and it was hilarious. I didn't know his name though and it was making me mad. Thank you for posting this. Time to go buy a CD .
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