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Old 02-22-2006, 01:11 PM   #1 (permalink)
We work alone
 
LoganSnake's Avatar
 
Location: Cake Town
Beer vs. Vagina

1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.

One point to BEER

2.Warm beer tastes awful.

One point to VAGINA

3.A really cold beer is satisfying.

One point to BEER

4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.

One point to VAGINA

5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.

I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.

One point to VAGINA

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.

One point to VAGINA

8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.

One point to VAGINA

9. You normally don't find old beer.

One point to BEER

10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.

One point to VAGINA

11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun.

One point to VAGINA

12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.

One point to VAGINA

13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.

One point to BEER

14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can.

One point to BEER

15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down.

One point to BEER

16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc.

One point to BEER

17. You always know how much beer is going to cost.

One point to BEER

18. Beer doesn't have a mother

One point to BEER

19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it.

One point to BEER

FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8

That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER
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Last edited by LoganSnake; 02-22-2006 at 01:16 PM..
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Old 02-22-2006, 01:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: upstate NY
Vagina takes the cake. Beer is your reward at the end of the night for failing to get the former.
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"Forty-three species of parrot? Nipples for men?? SLUGS!! God created slugs?!? I mean, are we not in the hands of a complete lunatic? If I had had my way, we would have started with laser beams, 8 o'clock, Day 1." -Evil
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Old 02-22-2006, 05:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SirLance's Avatar
 
Location: In the middle of the desert.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoganSnake
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.
That made me laugh out loud!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoganSnake
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
Hush lad, you'll give congress ideas.

Good list!
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Old 02-23-2006, 11:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Missouri
I mix both and have great results.
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